Welcome to 2008, everyone! Or at least I hope this is the year we're in. For if you recall, in the last episode of Japan Time Time Goes Back in Time, I made the fatal mistake of letting you drive the time machine. What could I have possibly been thinking? Hopefully, wherever we've landed will be close enough to the Japan Time Time Power Hour I've been hyping up for two weeks now! I mean, sheesh.

Oh, and to get this out of the way first, you should be seeing last week's Japan Time Time entry sometime later this week. Apologies for the delay, which I blame entirely on holiday stress and not, say, on my being on a sunny beach drinking pina coladas with swimsuit models this very moment! Mmmmm. Refreshing. The, um, snow, I mean. Oh yes, where was I? Lost in time again, right!

Wait! Look what you've done! That's not Japan Time Time and you know it.

If you'll recall, the last weeks had us witness our hero Enton being unfairly fired from the Japan Time Time building, and attempting to climb to the top to claim revenge, only to be sent back to the bottom by the Nerd from the First NES Zelda Commercial send him back down with his considerable magical powers. Did you write all that down? Good, because I can't really believe I'm typing this. Oh, and, huh, looks like I already did a more detailed recap of exactly that just below. Curses! Please throw away whatever you just wrote on, and get yourself a clean sheet of paper or whatever.

Well, since Enton is back to climbing the hellish 58 stories of the inexplicable Japan Time Time skyscraper, I guess I can't tell you about what's going on with him. I can tell you, however, that the nerd from the first NES Zelda commercial isn't supposed to represent me, who is still supposed to be blissfully unaware of Enton's current predicament. Enton is, in case you were still wondering, not the same as Psyduck. Enton is German, and Psyduck has been hired in his place for some sinister purpose, building on the gag that I have an obsession with the German version of Psyduck, Enton, but people keep referring to the species of Psyduck anyway, forcing me to comically adopt a "more marketable character". Meanwhile, the Nerd works for a mysterious shadowy figure referred to so far only as "Dr. W," who for some reason you cannot possibly guess gave him the title of Mayor. You also cannot guess his identity because it's not obvious. The Nerd also has a Power Glove, too.

Did you write all that down? I hope so! That will all become important later. I'm aiming for a First and Ten Syndrome, baby!

Hm. I don't think this big wall of text qualifies for the "thingie I put before the actual reviews and may or may not be spending more time on, overall". Lemme whip up something quick.

Awesome! I can't wait to see his next adventure! Can you?

I've been doing sprite comics for a while a few years back. If you're unfamiliar, they're comics made with copy-pasted video game sprites so people who can't draw well can still make a comic. There are plenty of kinds. There are those that are really crappy, because a lot of people people think the secret to comedy is copy-pasting Kirby into four frames, having him make a fart joke in Comic Sans MS and saving as JPG four or five times. Then you have those few who took way too much time making the look and jokes feel polished, either in MS Paint or Photoshop. And then you had the people who made comics from the first category, but not really. They were just making FUN of crappy comics. This thing is part of that weird last category.

WEEK #16: September 3rd to September 7th, 2007

Day 75: Entry 86: Pit's Descent
Hm. Nothing wacky to quote today.
Wait! I know!
Oh, man, now he's really getting huge!
I hope my body can take it...

For an ever-elusive video update, this was a sort of underwhelming one. Pit watches something that happened in a different cutscene, sees Palutena, gets bow, drops into sky for ADVENTURE TIME! I'm getting the feeling that a lot of the Subspace Emissary cutscenes will be like this, especially since it seems the cutscenes will have no speech or anything, but hopefully the game will prove me wrong on that.

But wait, Pit FALLS into the sky? Is he some kind of FALLEN ANGEL?! What kind of pseudo-religious crap are you trying to pull, Nintendo? That's it, I'm boycotting the game!

TODAY'S RATING: 2 Warp Stars out of 5

Day 76: Entry 87: Diddy Kong: Special Moves
For some reason, Diddy has a weapon made of wood. Is that jungle technology?
DK also had a coconut gun in DK64. I suspect that the Kongs are in league with the Professor.

I wonder if that's what they meant by "whimsical fighting moves" back in his first entry. "Your gun can explode, providing potential minor healing to your enemies, and then your jetpack can fly off for no reason in the middle of your flight and blow up too"?

I wonder what his other moves are. B+Forward will trigger the Cartwheel Attack, in which Diddy performs a cartwheel, but be careful! If Diddy bumps into a wall or is just unlucky, he'll hurt himself and become unable to use that attack for the rest of the battle! Trying to use it will just hurt him more! B+Down has him pull out a boom box to lay some phat moves, but be careful! If you get attacked while listening to music, the boom box goes BOOM, get it? And then Diddy flies off the field. Did I mention that there's a 1 in 10 chance that, when you use it, the boombox has no CDs in it, so Diddy is forced to carry the useless heavy thing around the battlefield for the rest of the match?

TODAY'S RATING: 2 Warp Stars out of 5

Day 77: Entry 88: Meta Knight
It's Meta Knight, whose introduction was delayed for some reason.

What's with them and summing up my feelings so nicely? And while it's amusing that they hung a lampshade on the unexplained confirmation of a character we've known about forever, I still want to know why. Were they keeping the best for the end, and they thought that Meta was just that cool? Did they just forget? I mean, they even showed us his special moves before that. Sheesh.

A contradiction? I see none, Mr. Knight. The only thing I see is this tall, dark glass of penalty!
TODAY'S RATING: 1 Warp Star out of 5

So I was playing Phoenix Wright: Trials and Tribulations at the time. Sue me! Also, I had never realized that I linked to TV Tropes that much. Good thing it's the best freaking wiki out there on the Internet. I dare you to prove me wrong!

Day 78: Entry 89: Pokemon Stadium 2
Day 78: Entry 90: Mario: Special Moves
Eh? Is it a normal attack?!

Oooooh, another one of those two-unrelated-updates-in-one! Maybe I need to come up with a technical term for those. Hmmmm. Eh, I'll find something later.

Firstly, we have Pokemon Stadium 2! I liked the first Pokemon Stadium, although I never quite understood why the only thing that changed with the stage was the layout. I mean, it would only make sense for there to be some fire hazard on the fire stage or something, right? But nope, just layout changes. Here, luckily, this gets fixed, as occasionally slippy floors and strong windmills conspire to get this stage banned off the tournament scene! Hahahaha!

Also, apparently there will be guest Pokemon appearing in the background. Ooooh, I liked that in the Pokemon stage from the original game. I mean, aside from the fact that they were all inexplicably 2D and stuff. Man, that game sure was low-tech, wasn't it?

Meanwhile, surprisingly enough, Mario of all people sports a new move! Like I said a couple of times before, I was one of the few people who liked Sunshine a lot, so it's nice seeing F.L.U.D.D. make an appearance here! Although I'm not entirely sure how actually useful it'll be. I'm guessing it could be good for KOing heavily-damaged or highly-handicapped enemies, but if it can't do at least THAT... at least it looks neat! And oh, hey. No other moves for this update? I'm not really complaining, surprisingly enough, since I hadn't even noticed last time. The rest is probably all the same old anyway, really.

TODAY'S RATING: 4 Warp Stars out of 5

Day 79: Entry 91: My Music
Day 79: Entry 92: Pokemon: Pokemon Stadium/Evolution
Day 79: Entry 93: Super Smash Bros. Brawl: Main Theme
Choose freely from our diverse selection of famous songs!

Hell YES! There are so many things awesome about this update that I might have to put them in bulleted list format!

• Three updates in one?! Oh snap!
• That Pokemon song is pretty neat even if the transition between the songs it's medleying sucks!
• MY MUSIC! So I can turn off songs I hate completely, while still basically setting things on random! It's like those stages in Melee that had extra songs that could play randomly, only this time you have control and there's a bunch of 'em!
• Look at all the song titles! It seems there will be at least four available for each world (at least for Mario and Zelda). That's a lotta songs!
• You have to COLLECT them? Oh, Nintendo, you shouldn't have! ( FUN FACT: I loooove collecting stuff.)
• I think this is, like, the wordiest SSB Dojo update ever.
• This may also be the politest update ever, come to think of it. Man, those wacky Japanese. It's like they care if our feelings get hurt when we read those things! WELL, THIS SMOKE BOMB HERE SAYS THEY OBVIOUSLY DON'T!
• Songs from other games? Tell me more!
• The DARK WORLD theme? Oh, YES.
• The SSBB main theme wasn't particularly awesome because we already heard it and it was available on the old website, as they said, but hey. Sake of completion.

Okay, I think I'm done.

TODAY'S RATING: FIVE Warp Stars out of 5!

GAME!

LAST PLACE LOSER: Meta Knight! Luckily, this is pretty much the very last character we knew about already, save for Snake, who I don't think will be covered before the game's release. ( Then, two weeks later...) Aside from one or two stages, we're pretty much assured we'll be seeing new or at least unconfirmed returning material from now on! Yay!
1ST PLACE WINNER: My Music, definitely. I shouldn't have to tell you why. I made a bullet point list just for that! A bullet point list!

THIS WEEK'S OVERALL RATING: 3 Warp Stars out of 5!

Another dull week that got much better at the end. I'd say more, but I'm inexplicably pooped by now. I need to write those earlier!

ANOTHER FUN FACT: I really like he word "pooped". Hmmm? What? You're pretty sure that's not the Japan Time Time Power Hour? And you're perfectly right! No, no, you still have one JTT entry to go before we get there. Gotta keep the best for last, you know? Until then, enjoy another ordinarily-sized old dusty Japan Time Time!