Okay, I am too lazy to retell this story ever again. So I'm just copying the AIM convo I had and removed all of the side comments from the person who I was talking to for your viewing pleasure.

So enjoy the 100% factual story of how I almost died.

[00:08] Xiivi: I almost died earlier btw
[00:08] Xiivi: or almost got really, really hurt
[00:08] Xiivi: haha
[00:09] Xiivi: I was in my chair at my desk
[00:09] Xiivi: okay, I need to give the layout of my room for this
[00:09] Xiivi: dammit
[00:13] Xiivi: dammit
[00:13] Xiivi: I made a map on an online paint thing
[00:14] Xiivi: and have no clue how to show it to you
[00:15] Xiivi: no, I found how to make a hard link
[00:15] Xiivi: http://www.flashpaint.com/sketchit.php?id=7851
[00:15] Xiivi: okay
[00:15] Xiivi: so there's the map
[00:15] Xiivi: yes
[00:16] Xiivi: it's important to understand
[00:16] Xiivi: okay
[00:16] Xiivi: so I'm in the chair
[00:16] Xiivi: it's a very nice like office chair
[00:16] Xiivi: with wheels and stuff
[00:16] Xiivi: very comfy
[00:16] Xiivi: you could sleep in it
[00:16] Xiivi: and I'm facing the desk
[00:17] Xiivi: and next to the desk there is a fridge
[00:17] Xiivi: the fridge's door opens towards the desk
[00:17] Xiivi: making it very annoying to grab things from it
[00:17] Xiivi: on top of the fridge
[00:17] Xiivi: is a HUGE tv
[00:17] Xiivi: and it's ghetto
[00:17] Xiivi: and crappy
[00:17] Xiivi: I mean, very ghetto
[00:17] Xiivi: as in
[00:17] Xiivi: when you hit the power button
[00:18] Xiivi: you need to let it warm up
[00:18] Xiivi: and then it fails to load
[00:18] Xiivi: and then you turn it off
[00:18] Xiivi: and turn it on again
[00:18] Xiivi: and it warms up a bit more
[00:18] Xiivi: and then fails to load
[00:18] Xiivi: and then you turn it off again
[00:18] Xiivi: and over and over
[00:18] Xiivi: and it takes like 10 times
[00:18] Xiivi: before you finally maintain a clear picture
[00:19] Xiivi: so yes
[00:19] Xiivi: it's very old
[00:19] Xiivi: meaning it's very big
[00:19] Xiivi: and heavy
[00:19] Xiivi: since things were so much more inefficient in the past
[00:19] Xiivi: it takes 2 strong college students to carry it
[00:19] Xiivi: other college guys have tried to carry it before
[00:19] Xiivi: they have all failed
[00:19] Xiivi: so that's sitting up there
[00:20] Xiivi: on the stupid fridge with the door that opens the other way
[00:20] Xiivi: inside the fridge are 2 loaves of delicious blueberry sweet bred
[00:20] Xiivi: bread*
[00:20] Xiivi: these are delicious loaves of blueberry sweet bread from the local bakery made fresh daily
[00:20] Xiivi: they are the best you've ever had
[00:20] Xiivi: period
[00:21] Xiivi: so while sitting in my chair, facing towards the desk, I decide I would like some of this bread
[00:21] Xiivi: in fact, I must have some
[00:21] Xiivi: and I must have it now
[00:21] Xiivi: but I'm feeling more lazy than usual
[00:21] Xiivi: and don't want to get out of my chair
[00:21] Xiivi: because normally
[00:22] Xiivi: I'd just get out of my chair
[00:22] Xiivi: so I could open the fridge correctly
[00:22] Xiivi: since it opens towards the desk
[00:22] Xiivi: which is very inconvinient
[00:22] Xiivi: but I decide not to this time
[00:22] Xiivi: I also decide to not move the chair over either
[00:22] Xiivi: even though it has wheels
[00:23] Xiivi: so I lean over in the chair
[00:23] Xiivi: I'm leaning over the armrest btw
[00:23] Xiivi: since I'm even too lazy to TURN in the chair
[00:23] Xiivi: and open the door to the fridge
[00:23] Xiivi: so now I'm leaning over both the chair's armrest
[00:23] Xiivi: and the fridge door
[00:24] Xiivi: and then
[00:24] Xiivi: I see the sweetbread
[00:24] Xiivi: and it's at the bottom
[00:24] Xiivi: in the corner
[00:24] Xiivi: yes
[00:24] Xiivi: it's in the worst possible spot it could be for this situation
[00:24] Xiivi: so I lean over
[00:24] Xiivi: and try to get the bread
[00:24] Xiivi: and I do get pretty close to grabbing it out
[00:24] Xiivi: but I'm apparently tilting the chair too much
[00:25] Xiivi: and fall over onto my side
[00:25] Xiivi: with the 5-wheeled office chair falling over as well
[00:25] Xiivi: which should not happen
[00:25] Xiivi: but I was pushing limits here
[00:25] Xiivi: and because of this
[00:25] Xiivi: I jostled the fridge as well
[00:25] Xiivi: and I am like "ouch"
[00:25] Xiivi: and look up
[00:26] Xiivi: and see the massive TV shaking
[00:26] Xiivi: like it's about to fall
[00:26] Xiivi: now you must realize
[00:26] Xiivi: I've tried to turn this TV
[00:26] Xiivi: while it was on the fridge
[00:26] Xiivi: it is ****ing hard to turn it to the side
[00:26] Xiivi: and it is rocking on the fridge
[00:26] Xiivi: the thud to the ground was really loud too
[00:26] Xiivi: but it does not fall on me
[00:26] Xiivi: but if it had
[00:27] Xiivi: it would have been straight on my head/neck
[00:27] Xiivi: and it would have pretty much sealed my death
[00:27] Xiivi: especially considering my door was locked
[00:27] Xiivi: so there is the story of how I almost died
[00:28] Xiivi: which was insanely more fun to tell than it should have been
[00:30] Xiivi: yes
[00:30] Xiivi: I didn't even think anything of it at the time too
[00:30] Xiivi: there was no "OH **** THAT TV'S GONNA FALL AND KILL ME"
[00:31] Xiivi: I was like "sweet bread!"
[00:31] Xiivi: and grabbed the sweet bread out while I was laying on the ground
[00:31] Xiivi: on my side
[00:31] Xiivi: my side really, really hurts too
[00:31] Xiivi: but yes
[00:31] Xiivi: I grabbed the sweet bread out
[00:31] Xiivi: lifted myself up
[00:31] Xiivi: closed the fridge door
[00:31] Xiivi: looked at the chair
[00:31] Xiivi: with a
[00:32] Xiivi: "WTF, THIS HAS 5 WHEELS, HOW DID I MAKE IT FALL OVER"
[00:32] Xiivi: and set it up
[00:32] Xiivi: sat in it
[00:32] Xiivi: faced the desk
[00:32] Xiivi: and ate like 1/4 of a loaf of sweet bread
[00:32] Xiivi: and then put it away
[00:34] Xiivi: but I do now realize, "oh wow, that would have totally killed me"

EDIT:
Because I'm so freaking lame, I feel like adding another part to the story that I originally did not have.

This next part pretty much captures how **** silly I really am (also I'm going to be lazy and not edit out the other person's comments):
[01:15] Justin: without exaggerating, certainly you had to have thought about the close call at least momentarily, yeah?
[01:15] Xiivi: I seriously thought "0" about it
[01:16] Xiivi: I really paid no attention to the fact it could have fallen on me
[01:16] Justin: lol....
[01:16] Xiivi: until later
[01:16] Xiivi: yeah
[01:16] Justin: fair enough
[01:17] Xiivi: like
[01:17] Xiivi: I had a headache about the time
[01:17] Xiivi: and wasn't really thinking about anything
[01:17] Xiivi: a headache I had had for like 4 hours
[01:18] Xiivi: so yeah
[01:18] Xiivi: after I ate my bread
[01:18] Xiivi: I was like
[01:18] Xiivi: "Man, I need to go take a walk"
[01:18] Xiivi: so I put on my one cap
[01:18] Xiivi: and put it on backwards/slightly to the side
[01:19] Xiivi: and took off my glasses
[01:19] Xiivi: and walked to ITS
[01:19] Xiivi: looking gangsta
[01:19] Xiivi: I don't even know why I felt compelled to look gangsta
[01:19] Xiivi: but I did
[01:19] Xiivi: and then when I got to ITS
[01:19] Xiivi: I totally had a
[01:20] Xiivi: "Oh wow, I totally would have died had that fall been even a bit harder."
[01:20] Xiivi: moment
[01:20] Justin: mmm
[01:20] Justin: well, good thing you're here
[01:20] Justin: how do you walk to ITS looking gangsta?
[01:21] Xiivi: with a backwards cap
[01:21] Xiivi: and not wearing glasses
[01:21] Xiivi: and in my one jacket
[01:21] Xiivi: and wearing baggy jeans
[01:21] Xiivi: and vans