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what's that sound retreating into the night

why, sounds like some sort of siren

tha motha****in' troof siren OOOOO

Unparalleled Whackness, I feel like I'm playing mafia. Responses when I get back to my comp.

No Johns .

That is as johns-worthy as it gets.

Don't hate yourself. You seem to be functioning quite handily with a ****ty and pain in the *** illness. You're doin fine. Hate the illness, and punch it in the d***

Acrostic said:

I really know that I shouldn't have johns over this, but this is aggravating.

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That is... 100% johns worthy. I don't even think those are johns, because you're still doing all the **** you need to anyway.

I always get sick during clutch time despite making every conscientious effort to live healthier.

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Honestly, it might be stress related. I know stress can really **** things up, health-wise.

Xonar said:

mom-chan.

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Ok I'm done reading.


Ran teaching Soup to lie
Ran teaching me to procrastinate

hm

Edit Oh my eifds'dspofpods
ds[flk
d

Xonar you can't even oidhfj dpdiofd

no. just no.

@Medi:

Um... yeah. I agree with this entirely. I'm not sure what part of my post you thought you were disagreeing with here, but maybe you should reread what I wrote. Take particular notice of the phrases "some relationships" and "Not saying either of these is the case in Soup's case". I wasn't saying anything about Soup's situation specifically, because I don't feel qualified to judge or give advice, never having been in a similar situation myself.

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My point was that you say that 'some relationships are meant to be broken' and I say it's really up to the person to judge that. Wasn't referring to you talking about Soup's case specifically, sorry for being unclear. If I still misunderstand you I'll re-read it.

This seems to run counter to what you were saying just a sentence ago. As you said earlier, I think it's up to the individual involved whether they want to fix a particular relationship or not. Sometimes it might not be better to try.

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I want you to go into why you think it isn't better to try. I think with this point we both my disagree but I would at least like to see your point of view.

Pretty sure rapists are by definition abusive and jerks.

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I sort of rambled into general 'abuse' relationships at that point, so I wasn't talking about the rapist at that point sorry.

Wow.

Not even sure how to reply to this.

No, more patience is not needed when dealing with a family member who ***** one of their young relatives. That kind of action is unjustifiable.

Sure, if the victim decides they still want to maintain some sort of relationship with the person who ***** them, that's their decision. But saying that they need more patience before they consider breaking up the relationship? Wow. That's not up to you. You don't get to decide that, or make those judgements. That's up to the individual who was hurt, not you.

And that's true in every relationship, honestly. The person should be the one to weigh the value of the relationship against the extent of the pain they suffered, and they should be the one to make any decision that gets made. Moralizing from outside their situation about what they should do is just ridiculous.

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Again, was talking about general abuse with that. With a rapist, I would think they would want to most likely break it or distance from it or maybe even confront them (to express anger or forgiveness, or that they moved on etc). I just don't know with %100 certainty that a relationship will not work because they aren't really absolute. Now let's take your example, and say a friend of yours comes to you in dire need of your help, and tells you the story of their parent ****** them. Would you simply tell her to forget about it? What would you do. (Forget the details in how she/he came to tell you about this, just assume this friend really trusts/confides in you and has been pretty down in the dumps lately and just asked you out of the blue on skype or something)

Yet you are right, like I was saying earlier, it's ultimately up to that person who was hurt to make that decision, and you or I are only giving suggestions to them to mull over before deciding themselves.

Aaron Rodgers getting sacked 5 times in 20 minutes depresses me.

Being "more patient" with an abusive parent that is not attempting to change their abusive behavior is just going to give them more leash by which to be abusive

fyi

RR are you a cheesehead?

Will you give me a totally no homo comfort hug because god damn

I am and I'd be down for that

*non homo bro comfort hug*

in other news the Brewers are losing b1-9...man what a bad night.

I don't care about the Brewers, but I'll pretend to to help a cheesehead in need

Evil Eye said:

Being "more patient" with an abusive parent that is not attempting to change their abusive behavior is just going to give them more leash by which to be abusive

fyi

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Let me phrase it like this. You should take action in 'unleashing' yourself, and being your own man etc etc, but I don't think one should totally block out that parent without really considering the results of what would happen, because then we might regret doing so. Then if you really did, then so be it. That is what I was trying to say but failed to express it clearly sorry.

Zen <3 your catchup

10/10

Also I don't watch sports

@updated stance:

Now that I can accept. Hopefully you can understand why "more patience is needed" comes across as borderline victim blamey, heh. But the updated stance is something I agree with, fasho. All variables and consequences must always be weighed before making a big decision of the sort.

I am actually taking human services and not going to be a psychologist for this very reason lmao...

I would cause so many misunderstandings. Sigh.

Also yes I can understand what you guys thought. Ma bad

Unrelated but I would like to warn anyone that's in a mafia game with BarDulL in the near future that they may be willing to give him too much room to maneuver

you see, it's almost impossible to disagree with a guy whose avatar is a bear with a hat

so if you're thinking he's scummy for reasons X Y and Z, at the back of your mind you'll still worry

"but...... his avatar is a bear. With a hat."

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Ramen King said:

Ok I'm done reading.


Ran teaching Soup to lie
Ran teaching me to procrastinate

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I wasn't teaching Soup to lie, I was teaching him to find his own freedom in his own way.

I wasn't teaching you to procrastinate, I was teaching you to follow your gut.

Ranmaru said:

My point was that you say that 'some relationships are meant to be broken' and I say it's really up to the person to judge that.

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You're right. My actual words were "have to be" rather than "meant to", since I don't believe in fate or destiny, but your general point is accurate. I chose the wrong words. No relationship has to be broken.

However, I would contend that there are some that will only cause pain. For example, it might not help no matter how good a friend I am to a guy if he is a severe drug addict who repeatedly lies to me and steals from me, and refuses to get proper treatment, and is unable or unwilling to quit on his own. I can try everything, and it still just might not be enough.

While it's still up to the people involved whether or not to continue that relationship, I contend that such a relationship is not actually worth saving.

Wasn't referring to you talking about Soup's case specifically, sorry for being unclear. If I still misunderstand you I'll re-read it.

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Well alright then! Yeah, I thought you were talking about Soup there.

I want you to go into why you think it isn't better to try. I think with this point we both my disagree but I would at least like to see your point of view.

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Well, in a situation with an abusive parent, the relationship may be based more on hate than on love. The mothers who smother their own babies to death, or the stepfathers who **** their own stepchildren. There is no positive relationship there to salvage. And other times, such as relationships with severe drug addicts or abusive spouses and relatives, the negative may outweigh the positive. Yes, there might have been some love or friendship there once, but years of distrust and violence can sour those feelings. There are other people out there to make new relationships with, who don't come along with many years worth of emotional baggage.

Let me give you a real life example of a relationship that, while it wasn't totally broken, was irreparably and permanently damaged.

When my father's sister was sixteen, she became schizophrenic. My grandparents kept her in the house, kept caring for her. My father and his other siblings would have friends over, and live a normal life despite her being there, and despite her slowly becoming crazier. She once attacked my father with a knife, while he was getting up at night to make himself a sandwich. She kept getting worse and worse. There wasn't, and still isn't, any completely effective treatment for schizophrenia. Eventually, she was put on medication that curbed her violent schizophrenic tendencies, but damaged her ability to think clearly, and to interact with other people. She was no longer dangerous, but at the same time she wasn't really a whole person. Eventually, she was sent to a facility to be taken care of there. My father would visit her regularly, but sometimes she didn't even recognize him. By the time I was around, she was even further gone. I never really got to connect with her in any meaningful way. She died just about a week ago.

In that situation, there was nothing to be done. There was no truly fixing that relationship. It limped along, slowly falling apart more and more over the years as her mental health deteriorated, until she died.

Now, obviously in that case the relationship was still there, in some way, and was worth keeping. But my point is that there are some things that just can't really be fixed, no matter how much we wish they could. To deny that is to deny reality.

I sort of rambled into general 'abuse' relationships at that point, so I wasn't talking about the rapist at that point sorry.

Again, was talking about general abuse with that.

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Alright, fair enough then.

Now let's take your example, and say a friend of yours comes to you in dire need of your help, and tells you the story of their parent ****** them. Would you simply tell her to forget about it? What would you do. (Forget the details in how she/he came to tell you about this, just assume this friend really trusts/confides in you and has been pretty down in the dumps lately and just asked you out of the blue on skype or something)

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I don't know what relevance this has to the present discussion, but I guess I'll answer anyway. I would tell them to go to the police, and have their parent arrested. Seek protection for themselves and possibly their other parent. If they did not do that, I would contact the police myself, out of concern for my friend's safety.

Yet you are right, like I was saying earlier, it's ultimately up to that person who was hurt to make that decision, and you or I are only giving suggestions to them to mull over before deciding themselves.

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On this we definitely agree.

Charles says: (12:03:05 AM)
You know what they should make a sequel to The Social Network
Charles says: (12:03:19 AM)
Now is just about the right time to make another movie
Charles says: (12:03:26 AM)
The good guy is Mark Zuckerberg
Charles says: (12:03:35 AM)
And the bad guys are the SEC trying to get Mark for pump and dumping
Charles says: (12:05:27 AM)
The female leads that Mark hits on ends up being someone from The Fed
Charles says: (12:06:15 AM)
As they decide that Facebook is too important a site for their stocks to crash or else social networking around the world would die forever and leave world wide subspace in peril
Empire says: (12:06:17 AM)
have i ever told you how terrible you are
Charles says: (12:07:26 AM)
Ben Bernanke will narrate the entire movie
Charles says: (12:07:31 AM)
He'll be like Morgan Freeman
Empire says: (12:07:50 AM)
ok i chuckled
Empire says: (12:07:53 AM)
8/10
Charles says: (12:08:06 AM)
I'm not sure about the side plots
Charles says: (12:08:23 AM)
I think the Winkle Vos twins should sue Mark again for having their stocks crash.
Charles says: (12:09:10 AM)
Since that was used as part of the settlement deal for their IP theft claim.

Oh god, so many walls, **** this.

I still stand by that even if you break the **** out of a relationship, it can still be rebuilt. Or rather, that is to say, maybe not BREAKING it, but coming pretty damn close. That's really what I meant by "breaking the relationship" in the first place. It's like burning the bridge, but not actually burning the bridge, if you know what I mean. You "burn the bridge" with that person because that **** needs to be done to teach that person a lesson, and if they don't learn the lesson, then that's just how it is, and the bond you guys shared was never that strong to begin with, but if you guys really are connected, then the connection will pursue through the fire and the flames, and they'll stop ****ing up/being ********. This applies to ANY kind of relationship. Now, if it's not within the interest of both people to rebuild, then that's how it is. But if the interest is there, then it's always possible to make something positive out of that relationship. I don't care if that sounds like blatant optimism or cavalier **** or whatever, that's how it is.



P.S. Bear with hat and shades needs to become an emoticon on SWF.

Skipping all of the trivial ****....

Evil Eye said:

FYI, there's also 6 month premie for $7 and 3 month premie for $3. Y'know, if the namechange is the important thing and all.

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This is the dumbest math.

12 months = $12
3 months = $3
6 months = $7

Like, what? Why? Why would anyone ever?

Circus said:

Skipping all of the trivial ****....



This is the dumbest math.

12 months = $12
3 months = $3
6 months = $7

Like, what? Why? Why would anyone ever?

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he said it wrong. 3 is 4. 6 is 7. 12 is 12.

BSL said:

he said it wrong. 3 is 4. 6 is 7. 12 is 12.

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Ah.

That makes a lot more sense.

mah bad

Wow this thread

I hate to drop by with such mundane news, but...

I'm looking for a replacement for Newbie 23

In the event that you're interested, please let me know by PM

Cheers

We have a saying in german ... "lieber ein Ende mit Schrecken als ein Schrecken ohne Ende". It means as much as "a terrible end is better than endless terror". Relationships don't have to be broken but sometimes it's the only way to be able to make progress in your life. You can always cling to your old relationships ... but what's the point if they just leave you frustrated with live and cut down all your possibilities? Talking can't resolve such twisted relationships - people can only change from within.

It's your life and it's the only one you get. You can't count on god or heaven or rebirth because those things don't exist. If a relationship isn't doing you any good break it and find something new unless you want to live in mental slavery all your life.

Well hello again

Evil Eye said:

I don't care about the Brewers, but I'll pretend to to help a cheesehead in need

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God, but I was cringing at that whole affair.

So, for those who remember the ADD discussion a little while back, I had my diagnosis today and hit a lot of major categories.

I'm officially going to be on a 5mg (eventually settling on 10mg) prescription of Adderall XR, starting tomorrow.

Here's hoping it helps.

5mg? That's pretty tame to be honest, but perhaps it's a different drug and has different specifications. I'm on Strattera at 40mg.

Keep in mind that this isn't a stimulant, and Adderrall is. I want you to observe any sporadic changes in your emotions for sure, as Stimulants and pills of the like can cause them. Don't take them if it gets really bad, and don't expect a sudden miracle either. You're probably gonna change your medication a couple of times.

I think he'll probably bump me up a bit if things go well on the low dosage, depending on my need.

It's primarily for ADD, as I didn't really have problems with the ADHD tendencies.

And yes, I'm aware of the lack of "sudden miracle".

I appreciate the concern, Soup. I'll probably be sharing most of my experiences with it with you guys.

Gheb_01 said:

We have a saying in german ... "lieber ein Ende mit Schrecken als ein Schrecken ohne Ende". It means as much as "a terrible end is better than endless terror". Relationships don't have to be broken but sometimes it's the only way to be able to make progress in your life. You can always cling to your old relationships ... but what's the point if they just leave you frustrated with live and cut down all your possibilities? Talking can't resolve such twisted relationships - people can only change from within.

It's your life and it's the only one you get. You can't count on god or heaven or rebirth because those things don't exist. If a relationship isn't doing you any good break it and find something new unless you want to live in mental slavery all your life.

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Danke schön. Ich wollte mehr deutsche Sprüche kennen.

Meine Lieblings ist wahrscheinlich "den Tag ausklingen lassen"
Ich wünsche mir dass ich das öfter tun könnte.

Raziek aren't you studying in something that is hard on math? Because I remember you taking something along the lines of integral/multivariable calculus.

Computer Science.

I had to take early Calculus, which was Differential/Integral Calculus, in addition to Linear Algebra, which provides the basis for my third year algorithms course.

Handorin said:

Danke schön. Ich wollte mehr deutsche Sprüche kennen.

Meine Lieblings ist wahrscheinlich "den Tag ausklingen lassen"
Ich wünsche mir dass ich das öfter tun könnte.

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Gern geschehen ^_^

Modkill Handorin for not posting in English.

I have nothing real to add on the matter of what Soup should do due to my inexperience of the topic.

I'm somewhat annoyed by my family sometimes, and my parents hate each other. On particularly bad days my mom pushes for a divorce. I hate being in the house when one of them explodes at the other, but for me, the benefit of living with my parents is just too great to want to leave just yet.

Without thinking about it too much, I'll suggest that you take Ryker's advice if you're serious Soup. Maybe get a couple of roommates, which would help with the finical burden. Also, keep in contact with your parents Soup. Although your relationship with them sounds pretty bruised, it just doesn't sound bad enough for me to suggest completely breaking off contact with them. That's pretty drastic and should only be reserved for the worst circumstances.