• Welcome to Smashboards, the world's largest Super Smash Brothers community! Over 250,000 Smash Bros. fans from around the world have come to discuss these great games in over 19 million posts!

    You are currently viewing our boards as a visitor. Click here to sign up right now and start on your path in the Smash community!

Make Your Move 4

Status
Not open for further replies.

Sindel

Smash Cadet
Joined
Sep 21, 2007
Messages
26
Dogma was an awesome movie. Its certainly a nice choice for a character...

..but besides some of the extras, the quality of what you have so far is dated. There isnt really enough detail on what little attacks you have posted and frankly most people are detered by incomplete movesets in general.

I suggest you go to the dojo site and look at what is being produced in MYM4 to get an idea of what the present standard. Might I suggest Jafar or Kefka?

Again, it is not done. I will have the complete profile soon. I am aware. Trust me. ;)
 

princesspeachluver13

Banned via Warnings
Joined
Nov 13, 2007
Messages
617
Location
Yep. I had it coming. Stupid apathy.
Zexion, The Cloaked Schemer, Joins the Clash




I know, not the smartest choice, but, I can MAKE him a good character!!! >:D


Origins

Zexion is the Nobody of Ienzo, who was the youngest of Ansem the Wise's original six apprentices. Ienzo was the apprentice who tried to persuade Ansem to go further with his own research, and helped Xehanort complete the research into the secrets of the heart once Ansem refused to continue experimenting. He, along with Xehanort and Even (the original name of Vexen), is one of only three apprentices to be mentioned by name outside of the listing in the Secret Ansem Reports.

Ienzo and the other apprentices eventually helped Xehanort rebel against Ansem and banished him to the Realm of Nothingness. They went further than Ansem ever dared in researching the Heart and eventually all turned into Heartless. Due to their strong will, their Nobodies kept their memories and general appearance. Ienzo's Nobody took the name Zexion, an anagram of his original name with an X added.


Characteristics

Zexion is distinguished from the other members of Organization XIII by his approach to dealing with his enemies; namely, he does not fight them outright, but uses schemes and illusions to bring them down. He wields the element of "illusion" but originally did not show his weapon in Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories. His weapon panel in the Proof of Existence (an area of the Castle that Never Was displaying the Organization members' weapons and titles) is shattered in Kingdom Hearts II, but it is revealed in Kingdom Hearts Re:Chain of Memories that his weapon is, in fact, a lexicon, which attacks through a flurry of pages and trapping people within it. Zexion has the ability to identify the "scents" of others, with great accuracy and at great distances. The "scent" he smells may be based off other things than mere odor, and is affected by presence of darkness in the heart, an entity's power in the castle, and other factors.

Zexion stands out in Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories as the mastermind behind the actions of those members who are actually loyal to the Organization. He is aware of the Organization's decline, calling it "deplorable". Zexion also takes his missions seriously (In contrast to Demyx or Xigbar, who do not take their missions seriously.) Zexion is fond of politeness and proper greetings, which is shown when Zexion was on one of the lower floors of the Castle Oblivion basement. Lexaeus then appears, not saying a word to Zexion; upon Lexaeus's arrival, Zexion says, "Don't I even get a hello, Lexaeus?" and when Vexen appears next, he says, "Nice to see you too, Vexen." after receiving no greeting.

Of the three senior members (the other two being Lexaeus and Vexen) with the lowest thrones in their meeting chamber, named "Where Nothing Gathers", he seems to have the highest, while Vexen's is the lowest, indicating he is the most competent of the three. That is certainly not untrue, as he is the mastermind for the plot chronicled in the Reverse/Rebirth storyline, which only failed through Axel's betrayal of both sides; Axel's betrayal of Marluxia, by releasing Naminé, caused a chain reaction, as it was Naminé, in the guise of Kairi, who assisted Riku in breaking free of Zexion's trap in the Destiny Islands, which caught Zexion off-guard. Immediately after, Axel himself appeared and had the Riku Replica kill Zexion.

The fact that he acts as the mastermind behind Lexaeus and Vexen shows that his rank in the organization may in fact be higher than his number would lead one to believe. This is further reinforced by an additional scene in Kingdom Hearts II: Final Mix+ where he is seen to have a conversation with Xigbar. He reprimands Xigbar's habit of eavesdropping, and even talks down to him, stating that he should get back to work. When Xigbar informs him that he was hoping to just have a "friendly chat" with him, Zexion tells him he has more work to attend to, and finishes the conversation by telling Xigbar that if he is through working, then it would be in his best interest to get rest.

It is speculated that Xemnas may have known about the rebellions thoughts harbored by Marluxia, and as a result placed Zexion in command of the lower regions of Castle Oblivion in order to weed out the traitor. This would seem plausible based on Zexion's apparent rank and level of competence, though nothing official has been stated in regards to it.

Zexion to some appears to be emotionally distant and anti-social, but this is an understatement, despite his cold demeanor. This is observed in his death. Upon Axel's dialogue with the Riku clone, Zexion's horrified reaction shows that he clearly does not want to die. He has an undying sense of duty to the Organization, which is certainly not untrue as he is the most competent of the basement members and goes to any length to ensure the success of his missions. At times, he can also be humorous and jest with other members when the moment shows itself.


Statistics(Out of 10)
Size: 6 (He's the youngest of the organization members, maybe 15)

Weight: 5 (Being the Youngest, he's also the lightest)

Jump: 7 (That's a good thing!)

Double Jump: 7 (Another good thing)

Physical Strength: 4 (Being the youngest, he's also the weakest...physically)

Magical Strength: 9 (Although, he's not the strongest physically, his Illusion magic is extremely intense)

Attack Speed: 8 (OMG THAT'S AMAZING)

Movement Speed: 7 (He hovers 2 feet off of the ground)

Falling Speed: 5 (Well, he's light. It makes sense.)

Magic Range: 10 (His magic can shoot across Final Destination!!)

Physical Range: 3 (His physical moves are only weakly hitting with his book)

Float: Yes

Crouch: No

Crawl: No

Wall Cling: Yes

Difficulty to Control: 10 at first, then becomes a 2 or 3.


Play-style
Although Zexion prefers not to confront a foe directly, he can easily hold his own if forced into a battle. In Kingdom Hearts Re:Chain of Memories, he has a unique fighting style; he steals and hoards his foe's cards until he has enough to use it in his own deck. He has copies of his lexicon float around and attack the opponent. His standard attack steals Riku's attack cards, and his standard sleight creates a tornado of dark energy that drags Riku in, and then damages him while stealing his cards. When Zexion hoards enough cards, he copies the Soul Eater and clones himself, gaining the uses of two new sleights. In one, Zexion's clones vanish while Zexion grabs Riku and drains his HP. Zexion's other new sleight is a sleight in which he and his clones vanish and then reappear near the perimeter of the island and each fire an energy beam. The beams meet and slowly forms a ball of energy as Zexion and his clones rotate around the island before the energy ball explodes over the entire island. His standard attack now becomes a combo with each of the clones slashing once in turn. Meanwhile, the lexicons are spreads out through the island encased in a blue flames. Each of those lexicons support and act as the health of a clone. Destroying a lexicon causes a clone to disappear, and the destruction of the last clone frees all the stolen cards, and Zexion reverts to attacking with his lexicons until he hoards enough cards again. However, even if Riku manages to steal his cards back, Zexion occasionally prepares a countermeasure of sorts by planting a dummy Soul Eater card amongst the scattered pile for Riku to collect. The card is distinguished by "wing" of the blade's design being orange instead of red. If the card is collected then used, it damages and stuns Riku momentarily, giving Zexion an opening to steal cards again.

In Kingdom Hearts II Final Mix+, Zexion returns as an optional boss. Zexion's fighting style is totally different however; in the islands, his Absent Silhouette's only attack it to ensnare his prey in his lexicon. However, once they have been captured, Zexion transports them to another dimension where lexicons float around, being conducted by Zexion, who can hide as a lexicon himself. Only the reaction command, Dispel, used on Zexion after depleting his fake HP frees them from the dimension. Meanwhile, they are either bombarded by lexicon copies and explosions, ensnared in life-draining lexicons, or have their commands mixed up. However, if the right commands are selected, HP, MP, Munny balls, or experience points can appear, while another command temporarily removes all the decoy lexicons. His greatest attack involves transporting his quarry into yet another dimension, one which is pitch black save for three spotlights, one of which will be blue. The blue light will rotate between the three lights thirteen times until it comes to a complete stop, after which the entire area will be bombarded by meteors, with Zexion's laughing heard. However, the spotlight where the blue light stops on will be protected by a barrier. Zexion is also forced into the barricaded area, leaving him vulnerable to attack.

In both instances, he is shown to be a particularly powerful opponent, noted by many to be more difficult than Xehanort's Heartless in Kingdom Hearts Re:Chain of Memories' Reverse/Rebirth.


Standard Moves---Note: All move sets will be listed as the following: button(s) to press, movement, Damage %age, Knock back-Yes/No, and # of hits

A: A weak swiping motion with his book; 2 %; No; 1

A, A: Double Swipe with book; 2%, 2%; No; 2 total

A, A, A: Double swipe then pound to head using book; on last hit, 7%; Yes; 3 total

Up A: An arc-like motion with his book, very quickly; 6%; No; 2 if hit at beginning of arc

Side A: A slash with a few book pages; 8%; No; at most 3

Smash Side: A flurry of razor-sharp pages is sent flying forwards; 15%; Yes; at most 6

Smash Up: Pages fly out of the book towards the sky; 15%; Yes, Vertical; at most 5

Smash Down: A flurry of pages floats inches off of the ground away from Zexion and on either side of him; with all hits on both sides, 48%, with least on both sides(2 hits) 6%; Yes; at most 8 on either side, making a possible total of 16 hits


Magic (Special Moves)

B: Steal: A countering move: If a character such as Ganondorf were to use Warlock Fist, or whatever, while Zexion were using Steal, Zexion would create a clone of himself and make the clone use that move; Zexion Takes out his book, levitates it in front of him, and as the attacker hits the book, a clone would appear before the attacker and use that move against him/her; Depends on the move; Depends on the move; depends on the move

Up B: Teleport: Zexion would come out of a portal of darkness in the direction pushed on the control stick, and if an opponent touches the portal, the attacker receives 10% dark damage; mentioned; weak, but yes; 1

Side B: Illusion Smackdown: Zexion creates a clone that delivers a powerful punch; 20%; yes; 1 huge hit

Down B: Books of Illusion: Zexion creates clones of his books to seek out opponents, then explode in a dark cloud; depends on # of opponents; yes; depends on # of opponents. Note: This attach can be deflected back at Zexion, and also, the book will not explode unless it hits an obstacle, such as a character or a stage feature, such as a wall. Items do not count.


Aerial

Nair: Zexion spins in mid-air while his book follows his hand. Note: The book causes the damage, not his own hand; 14%; weak, but yes; 2 in quick succession, 7% each hit

Fair: Zexion sends a clone of his book flying forwards. Note: The clone of the book can be used as a projectile if caught; 13%; yes; 1 hit an opponent

Bair: Zexion creates a clone behind him that uses the Fair; same as Fair; same as Fair; same as Fair

Uair: same as up smash, but not touching the ground; 15%; vertical; at most 5

Dair: Zexion sends a flurry of pages towards the ground. Note: If a character uses a deflecting move(i.e. Mario+Cape) the pages just disappear. Also, if a character gets caught in the pages, they get comboed;


Final Smash

Zexion performs the move he uses in Kingdom Hearts 2 Final Mix+, but with some differences. He traps all opponents in copies of his book while spotlights shine on them (Zexion screams, "This will end it!"), and then, they are trapped inside of the pillars while there are multiple explosions occur inside the pillars while Zexion screams "BURN!" Damage: Instant life loss; Knockback: Off the screen; Number of Hits: 51 per character, making a total 153 hits


Miscellaneous

Taunts: I'm sure You can think of something that fits his personality

Victory Poses:
1: He Reads his book and says, "Futile efforts make for futile results."
2: He Opens his book and looks towards the camera and says, "This was a futile effort."

Loss Pose:
He reads his book.....what else?

Kirby Hat: Kirby with Zexion's Hair

Snake Codec:
Snake: Who's the kid?
Otacon: Uh-oh, Snake.
S: What's Uh-oh?
O: That's Zexion from Organization XIII. He was once an apprentice to Ansem the Wise. His magic is extremely dangerous.
S: What's that he's carrying? A BOOK?! *laughs*
O: Don't mess with his book. That's a Lexicon. He summons his powerful magic spells from it. I've heard stories that Zexion also uses his book to trap his enemies and bend them to his will. Also, he uses copies of himself to fight because he doesn't like to dirty his own hands.
S: Wow. He actually does sound dangerous. I guess i SHOULDN'T judge a book by its cover.

(See what I did there???)

Finally! That took forever!!!!! Please comment and rate! Thanks! Also, make sure to go back and actually READ that huge thing about his play-style.
 

Jimnymebob

Smash Champion
Joined
Sep 26, 2008
Messages
2,020
NNID
Jimnymebob
Zexion looks pretty cool
but he's not Xigbar :p
, but the side B seems ridiculously overpowered.

Also, you could put a little bit more info on the down b, because it seems very cool, but lacks detail compared to his other specials.

I enjoyed the moveset, and it sticks close with the character, so well done.
 

Red Arremer

Smash Legend
Joined
Nov 27, 2005
Messages
11,437
Location
Vienna
@Sindel:
Welcome to MYM, a very awesome choice for a character, Dogma was an awesome movie ("Catholicism WOW!" ... It still gives me a chuckle :bee: ), but yes, what Lenus said is true.

@Lenus Altair:
Kefka as perfect example? *blush* You're fluttering me.

@princesspeachluver13:
It's odd how the Characteristics and Playstyle sections are far longer than his actual moveset... I suggest you to change that and give the moves more detail, not only small descriptions like you have 'em. Otherwise, a good base to work further on.

@MasterWarlord:
I will read your new chapter as soon as I'm finished with mine. :bee:
 

dancingfrogman

Smash Ace
Joined
Jan 3, 2008
Messages
862
Location
United Kingdom, Birmingham
Switch FC
3133 8842 3910
I think if I post any more previews, you all will see the moveset of undead hero before it's actually posted!

It's always nice to have a newcomer to our community ah? Here it is:

Neutral A: said:
Neutral A Combo: Hack & Slice:

Animation:(First Part) Undead hero slashes his sword diagonally downwards to his left, and at the end, points the sword diagonally upwards ready, for the second part of the move.
(Second Part) Undead slashes the sword diagonally downwards to his right. This goes into the last part of this move.
(Third Part) Undead hero points his sword vertically upwards into the sky, and the sword glows dark blue for a brief moment. Undead hero will then slams his sword onto the ground, and a blue lighting bolt shoots out diagonally upwards, which cause a small explosion on the floor.


Properties: (First Part) This comes out quickly, and this also has decent range. This stuns the enemy in one place. This does 4% damage. Allows the next part of the move to hit easily.
(Second Part) This also comes out quick with the same range as before. This does 5% and low knockback, which sends the enemy horizontally.
(Third Part)This has lots of start-up and ending lag. The sword has decent range, and the lighting bolt goes up about 3 stage builder blocks a low diagonal upwards direction. The bolt is quite thin. The strongest part of the move is when the explosion occurs.
Sword Slash: This does 5%, which does mid-low knockback which sends the enemy horizontally.
Lighting Bolt: This does 5%, which does mid-low knockback, borderline Low-high knockback, which sends the enemy diagonally upwards.
Sweet-spot: This does 7%, which does mid knockback which sends the enemy horizontally.


Uses: A good way to rack up damage, although you want to be careful if you really want to use the last part of this move, as it has punishable start-up and ending lag. The first 2 moves have as low lag as Yoshis neutral a combo.
 

Smady

Smash Master
Joined
Apr 29, 2007
Messages
3,306
Location
K Rool Avenue
Zexion is decent for a newcomer - for your next moveset, describe in more detail; if everything were as long as 'characteristics', it'd be a great set. I don't know much of Kingdom Hearts to judge most of the moves, but they are well done.

Undead Hero will be pretty epic from what you've shown so far, Frogman. Looking forward to seeing the full article. :chuckle:
 

dancingfrogman

Smash Ace
Joined
Jan 3, 2008
Messages
862
Location
United Kingdom, Birmingham
Switch FC
3133 8842 3910
Thank for the comment Smash Daddy. Muc'chio appreciated

Oh Tolerance at the Limit - Prologue Part 2
has been posted in the social group

The Roster:

Sandbags:

  • Sirkibble
  • Chief Mendez
  • MasterWarlord
  • KingK.Rool
  • Chris Lionheart
Saturns:

  • Commader Blitzkreig
  • GreatClayMonkey
  • Fawriel
  • Dancingfrogman
  • Hyper_Ridley
  • Junahu
  • Iron Thorn
  • TWILTHERO
Primids:

  • Spadefox (most popular primid)
  • Newcomer MYMers
  • Regular MYMers
  • Smashbrosmike (hated by everyone)
  • -Wamy- (hated/gets laughed at by everyone)
 

Jimnymebob

Smash Champion
Joined
Sep 26, 2008
Messages
2,020
NNID
Jimnymebob

BKupa666

Barnacled Boss
Moderator
Joined
Aug 12, 2008
Messages
7,788
Location
Toxic Tower

The Trophy Master

Smash Journeyman
Joined
Dec 27, 2008
Messages
272
Location
*Sends Sundance an orange elephant on Chirstmas, a
I actually have 79 characters in my BBQ, 36 from Brawl, and 43 custom made by users here. :bee:

Here is the current roster:

Alladin - Cruxis
Baby Donkey Kong – SonicBoom2
Banjo & Kazooie – UnSaxon51
Breloom – Iron Thorn
Bowser - Nintendo
Bowser Jr. - goldwyvern
Bubble & Bobble - Baloo
Cactaur - Pelikinesis
Captain Falcon - Nintendo
Chef Kawasaki – King K.Rool
Count Bleck - Baloo
Daroach – Hyper_Ridley
Death – Hyper_Ridley
De Blob - Baloo
Deoxys – Chief Mendez
Diddy Kong - Nintendo
Dimentio - MasterWarlord
Donkey Kong - Nintendo
Dr. Robotnik - dancingfrogman
Dyna Blade – Sir Kibble
Electrode – King K. Rool
Falco - Nintendo
Fox - Nintendo
Frieza - Tubaam
Gaara - TWILTHERO
Ganondorf - Nintendo
Guntz - Spadefox
Hyper Ridley – Hyper_Ridley
Ice Climbers – Nintendo
Ike - Nintendo
Jafar – King K. Rool
Jigglypuff - Nintendo
The Joker - MasterWarlord
Kiba and Akamaru – majora_787
Kid Goku - TheSundanceKid
King Dedede - Nintendo
Kirby - Nintendo
Klump and Krusha – Bkupa666
KOS-MOS - Cruxis
Link – Nintendo
Lucario – Nintendo
Lucas – Nintendo
Luigi - Nintendo
Mario - Nintendo
Marth - Nintendo
Master Chief - Cutter
Megaman – Chief Mendez
Metaknight – Nintendo
Mr. Game & Watch - Nintendo
Mr. Shine and Mr. Bright – Sir Kibble
Ness - Nintendo
O’Chunks – Cruxis
Olimar - Nintendo
Overdrive Ostrich - goldwyvern
Pac-Man - Baloo
Peach - Nintendo
Peter Pan – Tanookie
Pikachu - Nintendo
Pit - Nintendo
Pokemon Trainer - Nintendo
Pokey – The Trophy Master
Prof. Rowan – The Trophy Master
R.O.B. – Nintendo
Ryuji Yamazaki - Smash Daddy
Samus - Nintendo
Scizor – UnSaxon51
Snake - Nintendo
Sonic – Nintendo
Superstar Helpers – Sir Kibble
Toon Link - Nintendo
Trunks - TWILTHERO
Quickman – agidius
Wario – Nintendo
Werehog Sonic – Mario and Sonic Guy
Wolf - Nintendo
Yoshi - Nintendo
Yugi Moto - flyinfilipino
Zelda / Sheik - Nintendo


For characters you would like to see, say it now.
 

Baloo

Smash Ace
Joined
Nov 14, 2008
Messages
781
I haven't even posted him yet and Count Bleck has a BBQ role? YAY!

All I have left is extras and his U Throw, expect him in about an hour.

EDIT: Bubble & Bobble will be my next moveset, it would be nice if they got representation in a BBQ.
 

Red Arremer

Smash Legend
Joined
Nov 27, 2005
Messages
11,437
Location
Vienna
I love how everyone uses Guntz in their Story Modes, but hardly anyone uses someone else from my characters. lol
 

goldwyvern

Smash Ace
Joined
Nov 25, 2008
Messages
519
Location
Holy keys locked in the jet, Batman!
GOLDWYVERN'S BOSS BANK (a link to this post will be in my sig soon)

1./test-MASTER NECKY (made in 10-15 minutes)

game-donkey kong country

class-miniboss

best background music-boss battle(donkey kong country), fear factory(donkey kong country)

appearance-the head of a vulture with part of a looong neck sticking out from either side of the screen

stage requirements-walk off stage, necky appears above most characters reach normally, spring in the middle

attacks:

at 100%:

peck:
necky pokes in from the side of the screen and swings his beak at you. 10% and average knockback.

nut:
necky shoots a walnut(?) out of his mouth that bounces on the ground until it goes offscreen. 7% per hit with below average knockback.

at 50%:

multi nut:
shoots multiple bounce walnuts(?) out of his mouth. each has the same properties as the first nut attack.

at 30%:

neckies:
MN summons 3 necky enemies that you must fight while MN still attacks. they can do 3% a hit, but are easy to kill.

COMING SOON: EITHER MUTOID MAN (smash tv) OR A REQUEST
 

BKupa666

Barnacled Boss
Moderator
Joined
Aug 12, 2008
Messages
7,788
Location
Toxic Tower
^ Eh, there's not much source material just from the DKC Necky. You did okay, but may I suggest taking some attacks from Krow in DKC2, such as using Eggs? 4 attacks is kind of low for a boss...even a SSE one.

Or maybe, like in DKC GBA, when he gets to low health, he can summon the purple Necky Sr. on the other side of the screen.
 

Red Arremer

Smash Legend
Joined
Nov 27, 2005
Messages
11,437
Location
Vienna
GOLDWYVERN'S BOSS BANK (a link to this post will be in my sig soon)
What the heck is that? Do you expect us Story Mode writers to use that boss(es) of yours? Are you serious? I think everyone will use the bosses they want to use, and won't take your poorly executed one. If you want to see a nicely made boss with only 4 attacks go check Kaboola in my Chapter 8. Seriously, this is utter crap.

To make a good quality boss (or moveset or story mode) you have to work more on that than just a couple of minutes.

:falcon: disapproves of this boss.
 

Jimnymebob

Smash Champion
Joined
Sep 26, 2008
Messages
2,020
NNID
Jimnymebob
okay then, what theme/game are you basing this chapter off of? i need a theme to think for.
I've finished this chapter, I just need to c/p it to my blog.
You may need to add more detail to your bosses though, like Spadefox said.
 

SirKibble

Smash Champion
Joined
May 2, 2008
Messages
2,400
What the heck is that? Do you expect us Story Mode writers to use that boss(es) of yours? Are you serious? I think everyone will use the bosses they want to use, and won't take your poorly executed one. If you want to see a nicely made boss with only 4 attacks go check Kaboola in my Chapter 8. Seriously, this is utter crap.

To make a good quality boss (or moveset or story mode) you have to work more on that than just a couple of minutes.

:falcon: disapproves of this boss.
Now, now, Spade. Be nice. There's no need to get so passionately negative about this.

Wyvern, most people would like a little more detail on those attacks, and a few more, too. Maybe try to think of a few more attacks, and go into detail as much about them as you would a moveset attack. If you think we might want to know something about it, go ahead and add it. Lol. It can't hurt.
 

dancingfrogman

Smash Ace
Joined
Jan 3, 2008
Messages
862
Location
United Kingdom, Birmingham
Switch FC
3133 8842 3910
What the heck is that? Do you expect us Story Mode writers to use that boss(es) of yours? Are you serious? I think everyone will use the bosses they want to use, and won't take your poorly executed one. If you want to see a nicely made boss with only 4 attacks go check Kaboola in my Chapter 8. Seriously, this is utter crap.

To make a good quality boss (or moveset or story mode) you have to work more on that than just a couple of minutes.

:falcon: disapproves of this boss.
Ow, that's harsh, but it's true!
I know the real reason why Spadefox is trying to be harsh
Look at other people BBQS, their bosses have more attacks, and are explained very well. At least try to be original in the moves section too.
 

Baloo

Smash Ace
Joined
Nov 14, 2008
Messages
781
If you want a good boss to base off of, use mine on page 468. That, is a boss.



preview:


Dair - Minion

Count Bleck will send...
Count Bleck points his staff downward, and a beam of light shoots down to the floor. It only does two damage, and no knockback. However, where it hits the floor, one of his Minions will appear. O'Chunks will walk around at the speed of Bowser, ground pounding and farting on people. The ground pounds do ten damage and medium knockback. He can be attacked for forty damage before disappearing. Mimi will be in her spider form, and will shoot rupees. They do low knockback and ten damage. They have very high range, but can be easily shielded against. She also does two damage if you touch her. She can take thirty damage before disappearing. Dimentio shoots purple and yellow sparks, which do high knockback, have high range and move at the speed of Aura Ball, and ten damage. He may also use Put You In A Box And Blow You Up. This has a loot of warning and he only uses this five percent of the time, but it is extremely powerful. It does thirty damage and extremely high knockback. It has high range, but is easy to get away from doe to the lag. He has thirty five HP. The other minion is Nastasia. She will lift her glasses and a small red square will shoot out. Then she disappears. This red square, if it hits an opponent, will hypnotize them, causing them to SD. This hypnosis only lasts for two seconds, so it is possible to recover. She has nine thousand and one health, but she disappears after using hypnosis. Hackers have found that if you let Nastasia stay using hacks and attack her for nine thousand and one damage, she will destroy all of the opponents stocks. Nice little Easter egg, Sakurai actually thought of the hackers when directing the game. Mr. L does not appear. This has very high ending lag for Bleck.
 

goldwyvern

Smash Ace
Joined
Nov 25, 2008
Messages
519
Location
Holy keys locked in the jet, Batman!
What the heck is that? Do you expect us Story Mode writers to use that boss(es) of yours? Are you serious? I think everyone will use the bosses they want to use, and won't take your poorly executed one. If you want to see a nicely made boss with only 4 attacks go check Kaboola in my Chapter 8. Seriously, this is utter crap.

To make a good quality boss (or moveset or story mode) you have to work more on that than just a couple of minutes.

:falcon: disapproves of this boss.

it's my first one and i could have gone all out if i wanted to, but i just wanted to post it and see what people thought of the whole idea of a boss service. I TAKE REQUESTS YOU KNOW!
 

KingK.Rool

Smash Lord
Joined
Nov 26, 2005
Messages
1,810
Personally, I'm thinking you definitely need to add to it. Try to think outside the box for creative attacks a boss could have; I know I didn't enjoy Sakurai's, with the exception of Meta Ridley. The attacks could probably use a bit more description, especially about how quickly they come out, it makes a huge difference. A bit of capitalization would go a long way, too.

Just take it to THE NEXT LEVEL!!1!
 

Red Arremer

Smash Legend
Joined
Nov 27, 2005
Messages
11,437
Location
Vienna
Ow, that's harsh, but it's true!
I know the real reason why Spadefox is trying to be harsh
I would've posted that even if you didn't say I was too nice in the first place.

it's my first one and i could have gone all out if i wanted to, but i just wanted to post it and see what people thought of the whole idea of a boss service. I TAKE REQUESTS YOU KNOW!
I thought you made one or two in your own story mode?
A Boss service is, imo, not a good idea. I want to implement my own ideas in my story, and I'm pretty sure everyone else does so, as well. I don't care whether you do take a request or not, or if you could've gone all out or not.

If I was in your case, I'd be ashamed of myself. We tried to tell you how to improve, but you aren't getting better. My patience has already reached its limits, and you're getting on my nerves lately.
 

Baloo

Smash Ace
Joined
Nov 14, 2008
Messages
781
My moveset is done, says Count Bleck! A new page is needed, says Count Bleck!
 

SonicBoom2

Smash Journeyman
Joined
Oct 12, 2008
Messages
480
Location
Florida
My patience has already reached its limits, and you're getting on my nerves lately.
Oooh, he went there...

Seriously, if you want to get better, focus on one thing. Multi-Tasking is only when you're incredibly experienced, or if you prefer quantity over quality, which in here, doesn't help you at all.
 

Lenus Altair

Smash Ace
Joined
Mar 7, 2008
Messages
518
it's my first one and i could have gone all out if i wanted to, but i just wanted to post it and see what people thought of the whole idea of a boss service. I TAKE REQUESTS YOU KNOW!
Yeah goldwyvern, if your going to post a moveset or boss for us to look at, you should try to at least meet the standard. Otherwise you should expect negative critiques. What attacks you have are straight forward and undetailed, and it only has 4 generic moves (more like 3.5 if you count the vairiable nut attacks).

Saying "I could of gone all out if I wanted to" is not a defense. I know that I personally don't want to see minimum efforts from anyone here.
 

dancingfrogman

Smash Ace
Joined
Jan 3, 2008
Messages
862
Location
United Kingdom, Birmingham
Switch FC
3133 8842 3910
Hehe, I have to work on Undead hero more, the chat room has so much LOL in, while doing tolerance at the limit (in social group) is so fun to write about.

I have all the ideas of the moves in my mind, but I get easily distracted! And doing a story is really fun.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top Bottom