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Socal's Worst Smashers
Updated October 3rd, 2007; Made October 23rd, 2006
Updated October 3rd, 2007; Made October 23rd, 2006
PANELISTS
It has been nearly a year since the first rankings were posted (link), so a rather large group of people decided to get together and make a brand new list, better than before. What you see below is a result of many debates on who should be on the list, with many different opinions thrown into the mix.
Before making the list as shown below, a list was made for candidates.
Yes, that is a napkin.
Now, without further ado, I present to you the list, fully complete with descriptions of each player ranked!
15) Araknophobik
Most of you know Fabian as Socal's Worst Smasher, after being named #1 on last year’s list. However, many more people have been competing with him for the title,
and it seems Fabian just can't keep up with them. Fabians biggest accomplishment is going all the way to FC, only to not make it out of pools. I don't know about
you, but I were to go to the other side of the United States, I would make sure I was, you know, actually good at the game. Other accomplishments include
his infamous "lost" match with Emerican from Best of Socal in which he SDs like mad, and begs me to not put the video up on youtube. GG
14) Jake the Beezy
It wasn't easy, but I have finally been considered for these rankings. My reason for being put on the rankings has to be the people I consistently lose to.
According to Fabian, I am something like 0-9 against him, which is pretty bad. Other things include losing to Thomasexy. Some say I am personally responsible
for bringing him back into smash, something I'm not proud of.
13) Marth Slash Falco Pro
The first thing about MF Pro has to be his name. Wow, what kind of person makes their name that cocky? Especially if you are what, 5 years old? And to make it even
better, doesn't he play Yoshi or something? From having an extremely high voice to sending a program entitled GAME which is really a program which causes loud
noises, MF Pro has earned a spot on the list.
12) Headache, Wreckless, and Mr. *****es
It was difficult determining the order of the three of them, so the panelists decided to put them all at the same spot. No one knows these guys in person, but
EVERYONE knows who they are on the boards. Arguments break out randomly in different threads, often being started by Headache. The worst thing is, its stuff
that no one even cares about. I mean, we don't really care about your personal lives, so stop arguing over it. Mr. *****es has the worst name ever on smashboards,
especially because it doesn't even fit his personality. Who names themselves that? The tactics of these three have caused the community to dub them as the
"Rancho Kids." Credit goes to Evilnemesis for the name.
(6th Sense is not considered a Rancho Kid, as it seems like he is the only one that actually posts maturely and has some responsibility)
9) Danimals
Danny has to deserve a spot, especially after his antics at OC3. According to one of the panelists who teamed with him, he was being emo the whole team, causing
the team to do poorly. Also, you can't forget his infamous line at UCLA. "It’s the JTB 4-Stock!" But, why do people lose to him? According to an anonymous source,
people lost to Danimals in fear of being shanked. Apparently, Danny carries knives, and can use those to make people fear him.
(I'm just joking around Danny, don't be mad at me
)8) Li'l Jefferz aka Blitz
At first, Blitz wasn't even considered for the list when the panelists first started discussing candidates, but his actions at Super Champ Combo has made him stand
out. I mean, who the hell rushes Taj? Like the tallest person ever too? And what’s even worse, Blitz isn't exactly the tallest person in the world, maybe being as
tall as MF Pro. What is there, like a 3 foot difference between the two of them? I guess Blitz is as good as fighting IRL as he is in fighting in smash.
7) Mike da Haze
Why Mike you ask? If you can remember last year, Mike had earned himself a spot on the rankings, #2 to be exact. As with Fabian, he has been competing to keep
his spot on the rankings. However, he hasn't done as bad as he should've been doing, but that doesn't mean he hasn't been doing bad. Just recently, he lost to Sick
at a Shuffle and Cut tournament. If you remember, Sick first started out as The Haze. In response to this, the two of them had a name match at Pandatration, with Sick
losing and having to make a new account. After losing to Sick, he went home and promptly put "The REAL Haze" in his signature, in an attempt to make himself look
better. Another reason for moving Mike up is that he hasn't lost to anyone under the age of 10 recently. And don't forget the 818 rankings in which he put himself as
#10.
1) Manacloud aka Mike Hoang aka Bananaclown
The reasons for Mana being on this list should be fairly obvious, but I'll reiterate them for those that might be living under a rock. Mana is by far the most hated
person on Smashboards, from coast to coast. You would think he would be a cool person like his brother, but something apparently went wrong. What is it about Mana
that no one likes? We could start off by saying the numerous scams that people have associated him with, such as the controller mods. Also, at the slightest
hint of a negative thing about him, he will counter argue it with either a big wall of text, or multiple paragraphs. But don't expect there to be anything important
in those paragraphs, most of it skirts the issue he is trying to address. When he posts, just skip over it, you won't be missing anything.
1) Fly Leef
Who is Fly Leef you ask? No one really knows, he just appeared the scene randomly. But why is it he's so high on the rankings? It's because he's ignorant to the
community. I mean, come on. It's cool to provide support for a friend that you want to get on the real power rankings, but by lying about results is not the way
to go. Also, he doesn't seem to realize that friendlies =/= tournament matches. I have here a quote from the recent Super Champ Combo results thread:
"My main is Jiggs, btw. I beat some ranked people in friendlies."
Who cares if he's beaten ranked people in friendlies? Most people don't even play seriously in friendlies, so there’s no accomplishment for winning.
Why else is he on the rankings? Because he spams SO MUCH. No one cares about his fake power rankings or the ones he posts on myspace. They honestly are not funny at
all, so why keep posting them? And what the hell, is he like the ***** of every good player out there? He's constantly spamming about Mango and DEHF, whether why
DEHF should be ranked, or posting Photoshopped pictures for Mango. If someone has that much time, why don't they, you know, do something in real life?
Lastly, Fly Leef is a very arrogant player. Here's some more quotes:
"About me: I'm Flyleef. I made the name up myself. I use Fox and Jiggs. I suck with everyone else =P. I would give myself a 7/10 in SSBM.
I get nervous in tournament matches."
No one besides this guy ranks themselves on a 1-10 scale. Someone show's how good they are by ****** people in tourney. What are even more annoying are all the things
he claims about himself.
"I'm more technical than metagamed (mindgames). I don't like wasting my time playing noobs. If you suck and I'm playing you in a friendly,
I'll SD and leave. (Time is money)."
If he's like that, why does he play in the first place? I thought everyone started off as a noob. But whatevers.
1) Neighborhood P
LOL, where can you start about this guy? At the center of every argument on smashboards, P is almost always there. Most of his arguments can be found in the
Rancho Cucamonga Tournament thread. The majority of his arguments are with Fabian, which almost always involve Fabian being called the worst player in Socal
(no jokesies either). Here's a quote:
"There's a reason you always see me with my iPod / headphones on. I go to play smash, not make friends."
This probably accounts for his constant arguments over the most stupid **** (even worse than the Rancho Kids). But there is something wrong with this statement. If
someone is playing smash for money and not to make friends, shouldn't they be good at the game? Losing to Fabian and I constantly is not a good way to show you are
good at the game. Maybe he can make some money by MMing people like FlyLeef.
1) Thomasexy
After much debate, the panelists have decided that Thomasexy deserves the highest spot on the rankings. But why is it that Thomas has earned this spot?
He has been here for like 5 years, constantly annoying the smash community with stupid ideas that NO ONE CARES ABOUT. And he desperately wants to be ranked. If you
didn't know, the reason that Thomas plays Zelda is that when he first started playing, there were no other Peach mains in Socal besides him. Now that people like
Bone, Wolf, and Edrees have been repping the Peach scene, Thomas feels that he must start playing another character that no one plays. By playing Zelda, he believes
people will give him more attention.
There is a catch to that though. You have to actually be good at the game if you want attention. I guess the sexier you are, the better you are at smash. Looks like
it’s the exact opposite for Thomas.
But Thomas still doesn't stop! If he can't make the real rankings, he proposes other ideas for rankings so that he is on it. One idea was his tier ranking for each
individual county. With this, he put himself as #1 in the county, putting Luigi and me as Riverside and completely ignoring Fabian. Obviously, the idea was
disregarded for its pure stupidity, but it wasn't as he didn't try.
So, experience is what made Thomas reach the top of the rankings. 5 years is too long of a time to spend on a game one sucks at, especially when you don't admit
you are not bad. Constant annoyance of the smash community is Thomas' specialty.
1) RAQU
Just read the end of this thread.
There you have it, the new list. It wasn't easy, but it was finally made. There were other people considered for it, but just weren't bad enough.
Honorable Mentions:
Mike Y, for losing to Sick at the last Pomona tournament and placing lower than Luigi and Fabian at SCC.
Kira, for constantly *****ing about the rankings.
That little kid from UCLA III for annoying everyone.
Lucky, for asking people for money at Chili’s when he just won 3rd in doubles.
DC, for being such a little kid.
Please note all of this is not to be taken seriously. Its a ****ing joke.
Dam I couldn't stop laughing when i saw this list. Damon gonna get pissed when he sees this ahahahah.
