[Mini WWYP 4] An Eased Mind

Wifommmmmmmmm

In an unrelated matter, I knew someone who died for a little while, perhaps a minute or less, or maybe longer. People say they don't come back the same. Something changes.

I really like this idea. What it needs more of, though, is character and back story. Every character, including the narrator, is just barely sketched in. It would help to provide more details if you really want to impact the reader. You have a good setup here to tell a compelling story about the type of illusions the mind will conjure to comfort itself in dire situations. But it needs greater history in order to carry weight, as in who these people are and why they matter, if only to each other. Most stories about death are really about life. You have the situation planned out right, but I'd recommend that you work more on developing the key players.

Yeah, I thought about that sort of thing, but I just dont really like stories that get deep about the actual character. I'll add some stuff, though.

edit: ok, I added a little background info. idk if it's very significant, but I suppose it's better than nothing.