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Theory on Male Interaction with Women

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Black Waltz

Smash Champion
Joined
Jan 27, 2007
Messages
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My friend conjoured up this amazing theory a little bit ago, and I want to see what you guys think of it:

Cass' 3 Rules of Male - Female Interaction
When a guy interacts with a girl he follows these three rules:
1) Unless he is gay, he wants to **** her.
2) Unless he thinks she's ugly, he wants to **** her.
3) Unless he is ****ing someone else, he wants to **** her (and would still probably **** her anyway).

Cass' Corollary states: If any of Cass' 3 rules of male - female interaction are true, a male - female friendship is impossible. Anything that may be misconstrued as friendship is really a facade that behaves according to Cass' theorem. (See Cass' Theorem for clarification)

Cass' Theorem states: The facade which is a male - female "friendship" really is quite simple to understand. Girls who are "friends" with a guy are really using him for one of the following: A) Moral Support B) Money (not necessarily cash, having him buy you things counts) C) Someone to ***** at because her boyfriend would have slapped her by now. Men are equally as self serving as women, they participate in "friendship" hoping that the time spent together will make her see how great of a guy he is so that he may **** her. (See Cass' 3 rules and Cass' Corollary for clarification)

Cass' Law of Non-migratory Interaction states: A male who becomes a female's "friend" cannot become otherwise. As a result, a male who is a "friend" will never be able to **** this female. (See Cass' Method for clarification)

Cass' Method
Cass' Method involves breaking Cass' Law of Non-migratory Interaction and preventing it from ever taking effect. Cass' Law of Non-Migratory Interaction is as stated, a law. As such it can be broken. However, before a male should believe that he is capable of using Cass' Method, he should first and foremost understand that he is wrong. Why is he wrong? Simple, the male does not know why he is a "friend" to begin with.

Cass's Method step 1) "Identifying your relationship status."
To identify his relationship status, a male should ask himself these questions (be completely honest with yourself, lying to yourself won't make her **** you):
1) Does she talk about her personal problems and does he help her with them?
2) Has she ever talked about your "friendship" and how much it means to her?
3) Has he ever run an errand for her?
4) Has he ever been told by her that he is "a nice guy" or something similar?
5) Has he ever confessed his desire to **** her but is still not being ****ed by her?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, then congratulations! You are a "friend". If you answered no to all questions, then you are not yet a friend, but still can **** up (unless you are already ****ing her, in that case high five).

Cass' Method part 2) "Staying away from being a friend and getting out of being a friend." If you have not yet become a "friend" you need simply do one thing. Never let the answers to step 1 be yes. If you are a "friend" it is suggested that you dump the ***** and find someone else, however, that not permitting do as follows:
1) Do not help her with anything - at all - unless she ****s you for it.
2) Do not let her talk about her personal problems, if she keeps at it, tease her until she cries, or until she laughs with you and realizes that you aren't her ***** anymore. If she cries, hold strong, either she will hate you for it, or tear your clothes off for it. If the first happens, so what, you weren't getting ****ed anyway.
3) Chances are by now you know exactly when she gets online (you tool, have you no shame?). Do something else, or block her if you happen to get online at the same time. Ignore calls. Let communication drop to a near stand still. Continue for a week or two. If she stops trying to get a-hold of you, you cannot use Cass' Method. If she continues, pick a day and answer one of her calls, or one of her messages. If she asks where you've been, you were busy with other people having a life. To make this lie easier to tell, make it the truth, and hang out with a girl she knows.

This concludes Cass Theory in its entirety. To come up is Applications of Cass Theory, which will include: Mindsets for Success (how to think to make her want you), and Further Explanation of Cass' Method.

A special note to women and other non-believers. First and foremost, I know you will find this derogatory in some way or another, but I have nothing but the utmost respect for women because of all the ******** men going after them (most of whom are the reason why I write this). Be honest with yourself, however, and you will find it is still invariably true. With respects to Cass' Corollary and Cass' Theorem, yes, you really do use men this way. Which is fine, because men only want what's in your pants anyway. If you just thought to yourself, "No, you're wrong." No, I'm not a mind reader, you're just like every other girl, and no I'm not wrong, end of story.

For those of you who believe I am bitter "because I don't get any". Let me preemptively make you shut up by stating, I am dating a very wonderful woman who loves me very much. She's both a clothing model and a ivy league student, and finds all of this very funny. I win.
 

Mith_

Smash Champion
Joined
Jul 30, 2008
Messages
2,376
Location
Augusta, GA
Great read. I've found all of this to be true in all my years of girl chasing :p.

Nice sig too.
 

ZeroFox

Smash Lord
Joined
Sep 6, 2008
Messages
1,048
Location
New Jersey.
Haha pretty funny.

I don't think that describes me though. I'm straight, and I'm friends with a lot of females. Many of them pretty. We hang out a lot and they do come to me and talk about their problems and stuff and I listen. But I have no desire to **** them, nor am I ****ing anyone else, nor have I ever ****ed anyone.

I find it easier to have a close friendship with a girl that I don't have an interest in, rather than having a close friendship with a girl I like, for some strange reason.

Edit: Not that I'm saying the theory is wrong. I just think I may be an exception, and maybe other people are exceptions as well.
 

OmegaXXII

Fire Emblem Lord/ Trophy Hunter
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21,469
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Houston, Texas!
I can pretty much say this is true, I mean if a guy doesn't want to be friends with a gal, he simply wants to get laid, it's as simple as that.
 

Mith_

Smash Champion
Joined
Jul 30, 2008
Messages
2,376
Location
Augusta, GA
Haha pretty funny.

I don't think that describes me though. I'm straight, and I'm friends with a lot of females. Many of them pretty. We hang out a lot and they do come to me and talk about their problems and stuff and I listen. But I have no desire to **** them, nor am I ****ing anyone else, nor have I ever ****ed anyone.

I find it easier to have a close friendship with a girl that I don't have an interest in, rather than having a close friendship with a girl I like, for some strange reason.

Edit: Not that I'm saying the theory is wrong. I just think I may be an exception, and maybe other people are exceptions as well.
yea ur right lol. having a friendship w/ a girl you're not interested in is much easier and far more rewarding that having a friendship with a girl you like, because like black waltz said, once you are a friend there's no chance of going any further than that.
 

GoldShadow

Marsilea quadrifolia
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Uh, your friend does realize this "theory" has been around for years upon years now, right? Not the slightest bit original.

Look up "Ladder theory" on Wikipedia or something.
 

-Mars-

Smash Hero
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One of the truest posts I have read here in a long time. My thinking is, if i'm wasting time and money on them it's because I want to **** them.
 

M15t3R E

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Joined
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Hangin' with Thor
=]

My God. You hit the nail on the head.

All of this makes us males and females seem so shallow but it's all true! IT'S ALL TRUE!!!
 

Kinzer

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Kinzer
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Cass' 3 Rules of Male - Female Interaction
When a guy interacts with a girl he follows these three rules:
1) Unless he is gay, he wants to **** her. That's not the goal...
2) Unless he thinks she's ugly, he wants to **** her. As long as she looks decent, looks don't matter TOO MUCH.
3) Unless he is ****ing someone else, he wants to **** her (and would still probably **** her anyway). I'm a one-gal(lon) man. (see what i did thar?)

Cass' Corollary states: If any of Cass' 3 rules of male - female interaction are true, a male - female friendship is impossible. Anything that may be misconstrued as friendship is really a facade that behaves according to Cass' theorem. (See Cass' Theorem for clarification)

Cass' Theorem states: The facade which is a male - female "friendship" really is quite simple to understand. Girls who are "friends" with a guy are really using him for one of the following: A) Moral Support B) Money (not necessarily cash, having him buy you things counts) C) Someone to ***** at because her boyfriend would have slapped her by now. Men are equally as self serving as women, they participate in "friendship" hoping that the time spent together will make her see how great of a guy he is so that he may **** her. (See Cass' 3 rules and Cass' Corollary for clarification) That can explain why so many girls come to me for random crap...I feel used...

Cass' Law of Non-migratory Interaction states: A male who becomes a female's "friend" cannot become otherwise. As a result, a male who is a "friend" will never be able to **** this female. (See Cass' Method for clarification) Interesting...but I don't think I fully comprehend this. How are relationships started if two people aren't at least friends first?

Cass' Method
Cass' Method involves breaking Cass' Law of Non-migratory Interaction and preventing it from ever taking effect. Cass' Law of Non-Migratory Interaction is as stated, a law. As such it can be broken. However, before a male should believe that he is capable of using Cass' Method, he should first and foremost understand that he is wrong. Why is he wrong? Simple, the male does not know why he is a "friend" to begin with. I mgiht have an idea after reading this...again I feel used...

Cass's Method step 1) "Identifying your relationship status."
To identify his relationship status, a male should ask himself these questions (be completely honest with yourself, lying to yourself won't make her **** you):
1) Does she talk about her personal problems and does he help her with them? Some of them do, others just tend to hide it from me, either way if they ask me I feel obligated to give them my honest answer.
2) Has she ever talked about your "friendship" and how much it means to her? Can't recall.
3) Has he ever run an errand for her? not that they depend on me enoguh for this...but probably to an extent they've asked me some favors
4) Has he ever been told by her that he is "a nice guy" or something similar? They tend to compliment me...when I'm being myself...(duh?)
5) Has he ever confessed his desire to **** her but is still not being ****ed by her? Do that and I get a big ol' slap right across the face. NO!
If you answered yes to any of these questions, then congratulations! You are a "friend". If you answered no to all questions, then you are not yet a friend, but still can **** up (unless you are already ****ing her, in that case high five). *Sigh* really, am I the only masculine out there whose first motives isn't Sex?

Cass' Method part 2) "Staying away from being a friend and getting out of being a friend." If you have not yet become a "friend" you need simply do one thing. Never let the answers to step 1 be yes. If you are a "friend" it is suggested that you dump the ***** and find someone else, however, that not permitting do as follows: If you really do like somebody and aren't afetr Sex, you can't help this, can you...?
1) Do not help her with anything - at all - unless she ****s you for it. *sigh*
2) Do not let her talk about her personal problems, if she keeps at it, tease her until she cries, or until she laughs with you and realizes that you aren't her ***** anymore. If she cries, hold strong, either she will hate you for it, or tear your clothes off for it. If the first happens, so what, you weren't getting ****ed anyway. No, I don't roll like that
3) Chances are by now you know exactly when she gets online (you tool, have you no shame?). No I have no shame, because I don't usually talk to them outside school.Do something else, or block her if you happen to get online at the same time. Ignore calls. Let communication drop to a near stand still. Continue for a week or two. If she stops trying to get a-hold of you, you cannot use Cass' Method. If she continues, pick a day and answer one of her calls, or one of her messages. If she asks where you've been, you were busy with other people having a life. To make this lie easier to tell, make it the truth, and hang out with a girl she knows.

This concludes Cass Theory in its entirety. To come up is Applications of Cass Theory, which will include: Mindsets for Success (how to think to make her want you), and Further Explanation of Cass' Method.

A special note to women and other non-believers. First and foremost, I know you will find this derogatory in some way or another, What does derogatory mean? but I have nothing but the utmost respect for women because of all the ******** men going after them (most of whom are the reason why I write this). Be honest with yourself, however, and you will find it is still invariably true. With respects to Cass' Corollary and Cass' Theorem, yes, you really do use men this way. Which is fine, because men only want what's in your pants anyway. Sure, if her pants happen to have liek bubble gum I suppose *sarcasm*. But seriously no, how many times must I tell you? If you just thought to yourself, "No, you're wrong." No, I'm not a mind reader, you're just like every other girl, and no I'm not wrong, end of story.

For those of you who believe I am bitter "because I don't get any". Let me preemptively make you shut up by stating, I am dating a very wonderful woman who loves me very much. Your sexual life is your own business, I don't want to know what you do. She's both a clothing model and a ivy league student, and finds all of this very funny. I win.
Coincidence? Really All women in general are great, this one just happens to do what she does.

Responses in Green.
 

Black Waltz

Smash Champion
Joined
Jan 27, 2007
Messages
2,243
Uh, your friend does realize this "theory" has been around for years upon years now, right? Not the slightest bit original.

Look up "Ladder theory" on Wikipedia or something.
But of course. Obviously he didn't come up with it, he just condensed it for his friends who are unaware of it.

Cass' 3 Rules of Male - Female Interaction
When a guy interacts with a girl he follows these three rules:
1) Unless he is gay, he wants to **** her. That's not the goal...
2) Unless he thinks she's ugly, he wants to **** her. As long as she looks decent, looks don't matter TOO MUCH.
3) Unless he is ****ing someone else, he wants to **** her (and would still probably **** her anyway). I'm a one-gal(lon) man. (see what i did thar?)

Cass' Corollary states: If any of Cass' 3 rules of male - female interaction are true, a male - female friendship is impossible. Anything that may be misconstrued as friendship is really a facade that behaves according to Cass' theorem. (See Cass' Theorem for clarification)

Cass' Theorem states: The facade which is a male - female "friendship" really is quite simple to understand. Girls who are "friends" with a guy are really using him for one of the following: A) Moral Support B) Money (not necessarily cash, having him buy you things counts) C) Someone to ***** at because her boyfriend would have slapped her by now. Men are equally as self serving as women, they participate in "friendship" hoping that the time spent together will make her see how great of a guy he is so that he may **** her. (See Cass' 3 rules and Cass' Corollary for clarification) That can explain why so many girls come to me for random crap...I feel used...

Cass' Law of Non-migratory Interaction states: A male who becomes a female's "friend" cannot become otherwise. As a result, a male who is a "friend" will never be able to **** this female. (See Cass' Method for clarification) Interesting...but I don't think I fully comprehend this. How are relationships started if two people aren't at least friends first?

Cass' Method
Cass' Method involves breaking Cass' Law of Non-migratory Interaction and preventing it from ever taking effect. Cass' Law of Non-Migratory Interaction is as stated, a law. As such it can be broken. However, before a male should believe that he is capable of using Cass' Method, he should first and foremost understand that he is wrong. Why is he wrong? Simple, the male does not know why he is a "friend" to begin with. I mgiht have an idea after reading this...again I feel used...

Cass's Method step 1) "Identifying your relationship status."
To identify his relationship status, a male should ask himself these questions (be completely honest with yourself, lying to yourself won't make her **** you):
1) Does she talk about her personal problems and does he help her with them? Some of them do, others just tend to hide it from me, either way if they ask me I feel obligated to give them my honest answer.
2) Has she ever talked about your "friendship" and how much it means to her? Can't recall.
3) Has he ever run an errand for her? not that they depend on me enoguh for this...but probably to an extent they've asked me some favors
4) Has he ever been told by her that he is "a nice guy" or something similar? They tend to compliment me...when I'm being myself...(duh?)
5) Has he ever confessed his desire to **** her but is still not being ****ed by her? Do that and I get a big ol' slap right across the face. NO!
If you answered yes to any of these questions, then congratulations! You are a "friend". If you answered no to all questions, then you are not yet a friend, but still can **** up (unless you are already ****ing her, in that case high five). *Sigh* really, am I the only masculine out there whose first motives isn't Sex? Congratulations at denying yourself sex.

Cass' Method part 2) "Staying away from being a friend and getting out of being a friend." If you have not yet become a "friend" you need simply do one thing. Never let the answers to step 1 be yes. If you are a "friend" it is suggested that you dump the ***** and find someone else, however, that not permitting do as follows: If you really do like somebody and aren't afetr Sex, you can't help this, can you...? But you really are, you're just conscious about it.
1) Do not help her with anything - at all - unless she ****s you for it. *sigh*
2) Do not let her talk about her personal problems, if she keeps at it, tease her until she cries, or until she laughs with you and realizes that you aren't her ***** anymore. If she cries, hold strong, either she will hate you for it, or tear your clothes off for it. If the first happens, so what, you weren't getting ****ed anyway. No, I don't roll like thatToo bad, no sex (at least hot sex) for you.
3) Chances are by now you know exactly when she gets online (you tool, have you no shame?). No I have no shame, because I don't usually talk to them outside school.Do something else, or block her if you happen to get online at the same time. Ignore calls. Let communication drop to a near stand still. Continue for a week or two. If she stops trying to get a-hold of you, you cannot use Cass' Method. If she continues, pick a day and answer one of her calls, or one of her messages. If she asks where you've been, you were busy with other people having a life. To make this lie easier to tell, make it the truth, and hang out with a girl she knows.

This concludes Cass Theory in its entirety. To come up is Applications of Cass Theory, which will include: Mindsets for Success (how to think to make her want you), and Further Explanation of Cass' Method.

A special note to women and other non-believers. First and foremost, I know you will find this derogatory in some way or another, What does derogatory mean? but I have nothing but the utmost respect for women because of all the ******** men going after them (most of whom are the reason why I write this). Be honest with yourself, however, and you will find it is still invariably true. With respects to Cass' Corollary and Cass' Theorem, yes, you really do use men this way. Which is fine, because men only want what's in your pants anyway. Sure, if her pants happen to have liek bubble gum I suppose *sarcasm*. But seriously no, how many times must I tell you? If you just thought to yourself, "No, you're wrong." No, I'm not a mind reader, you're just like every other girl, and no I'm not wrong, end of story.

For those of you who believe I am bitter "because I don't get any". Let me preemptively make you shut up by stating, I am dating a very wonderful woman who loves me very much. Your sexual life is your own business, I don't want to know what you do. Uh, he just stated why he was telling you that above. She's both a clothing model and a ivy league student, and finds all of this very funny. I win.
Coincidence? Really All women in general are great, this one just happens to do what she does.

Responses in Green.
Responses in Bold.
 

Kinzer

Mammy
Joined
Jun 2, 2008
Messages
10,397
Location
Las Vegas, NV
NNID
Kinzer
3DS FC
2251-6533-0581
*Hmph*, two of your responses poked me right in my manhood, then the other one got me to realize that you're right on no matter how much you try and deny it, that is the end-goal...anything before it is probably a bonus...
 

Mini Mic

Taller than Mic_128
BRoomer
Joined
May 5, 2007
Messages
11,207
I disagree with the notion that a man's sole 'goal' so to speak is sex. I daresay it's true of most teens but then again teenagers for the most part are not capable of thinking clearly. The desire for sex as the sole purpose of getting closer to a girl is something you will hopefully grow out of, I know I have but who knows I'm probably the minority while people like you give men a bad name.
 

ZeroFox

Smash Lord
Joined
Sep 6, 2008
Messages
1,048
Location
New Jersey.
yea ur right lol. having a friendship w/ a girl you're not interested in is much easier and far more rewarding that having a friendship with a girl you like, because like black waltz said, once you are a friend there's no chance of going any further than that.
No, in my case, it's tougher to become friends with a girl I like because I guess I'm very shy around girls that I like. I can talk and interact freely with girls that I like strictly as friends, regardless of how pretty they are. There's just something about a girl that you like that makes it tougher for you to talk to them and stuff.

It's not that I think getting in the friend zone = doom. It's just...I don't know what to do and don't know how to act. I second guess myself and don't want to make myself seem stupid. I don't think about those things in front of other female friends.
 

Mini Mic

Taller than Mic_128
BRoomer
Joined
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Messages
11,207
I smell the new 'Guy/ Girls Relationship thread.'

Now where is KoreanDJ to hand down some pearls of wisdom?
 

Charizard92

Smash Champion
Joined
May 13, 2008
Messages
2,207
Wow, I am a walking contradiction to this theorem. I am perfectly straight guy who would actually prefer a friendship to actual ****. To compound things even further, I believe in Natural Selection. I am a walking contradiction.
 

Black Waltz

Smash Champion
Joined
Jan 27, 2007
Messages
2,243
*Hmph*, two of your responses poked me right in my manhood, then the other one got me to realize that you're right on no matter how much you try and deny it, that is the end-goal...anything before it is probably a bonus...
I don't want to sound like a ****, but that's just the way it is.

I disagree with the notion that a man's sole 'goal' so to speak is sex. I daresay it's true of most teens but then again teenagers for the most part are not capable of thinking clearly. The desire for sex as the sole purpose of getting closer to a girl is something you will hopefully grow out of, I know I have but who knows I'm probably the minority while people like you give men a bad name.
It's not only teens; the seduction community is made up of guys from all over the age spectrum. I was watching RSD and there was this 48 year old guy learning how to pick up chicks.
And how is acknowledging basic wants giving men a bad name?

I smell the new 'Guy/ Girls Relationship thread.'

Now where is KoreanDJ to hand down some pearls of wisdom?
Ahhh, I never want to see another one of those topics again...and I haven't heard from DJ since he decided to open up that other board of his.
 

rhan

Smash Hero
Joined
Aug 16, 2007
Messages
6,107
Location
SoVA 757
This thread is just too good.

Cass' Method part 2) "Staying away from being a friend and getting out of being a friend." If you have not yet become a "friend" you need simply do one thing. Never let the answers to step 1 be yes. If you are a "friend" it is suggested that you dump the ***** and find someone else, however, that not permitting do as follows:
1) Do not help her with anything - at all - unless she ****s you for it.
2) Do not let her talk about her personal problems, if she keeps at it, tease her until she cries, or until she laughs with you and realizes that you aren't her ***** anymore. If she cries, hold strong, either she will hate you for it, or tear your clothes off for it. If the first happens, so what, you weren't getting ****ed anyway.
3) Chances are by now you know exactly when she gets online (you tool, have you no shame?). Do something else, or block her if you happen to get online at the same time. Ignore calls. Let communication drop to a near stand still. Continue for a week or two. If she stops trying to get a-hold of you, you cannot use Cass' Method. If she continues, pick a day and answer one of her calls, or one of her messages. If she asks where you've been, you were busy with other people having a life. To make this lie easier to tell, make it the truth, and hang out with a girl she knows.
I love every word of this.
 

Eor

Banned via Warnings
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Joined
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Messages
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See, this is why I don't tell people about this site
 
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