I know that there are already threads on these games but quite frankly they're ancient and don't have a lot of information at all, so I don't think it would be worth bumping them.
DISCLAIMER: The following portion of the post is merely me cynically blowing the few flaws in the newest trailers grossly out of proportion for the lulz. It does not reflect my actual views on the game at all.
Let me take some time to tell you all why the new FFXIII and FF versus XIII trailers suck. We'll start with the FFXIII trailer since it's going to get more hype for the sheer fact that it's coming out on the 360.
FFXIII DKΣ3713 Trailer
Now let's break it down shot by shot. The trailer starts with some Japanese text that I can't read, which is always a good sign because when I start watching a trailer I don't want to have any idea what's going on, otherwise I might actually get my hopes up. They then start the trailer off with some re-used footage and music from the E3 Trailer. Granted the footage isn't exactly the same, but it still has people riding on some sort of dragon thing away from the camera and then it pans up to a view of what's probably going to end up being the new Death Star. The only difference in the new trailer is that it zooms in on one of the characters, a light-brown-haired Hayden Panettiere who is fixing her hair and holding what is either a bow or the handlebars of her bike that she broke while she was running away from Sylar. Of course, this shot is also recycled footage from the end of the E3 trailer since Square doesn't actually want to show us anything new from the game.
After another Japanese text break (HOORAY, MORE WORDS!), it moves to some B-Wings docking in a Mon-Calamari cruiser (btw, if you're wondering when I'm going to stop with the Star Wars jokes...well...) followed by a shot of the cruiser attaching itself to some other spacecraft for unknown reasons. It's probably for refueling or something, but everyone who has seen Dr. Strangelove knows that this is an obvious metaphor for sex. Is Square hinting at the possibility of a sex minigame? Will they pull another Mass Effect on us and let us **** blue chicks in the game? Will there be a secret ending where we can take Hayden down by the fire and make sweet sweet love to her?
Only in your dreams, fanboys.
The game then flashes us some more Japanese text (AWESOME!) and shows us more recycled footage from the E3 trailer of one of the summons playing Harp Hero, but then they pull a fast one on us and give us some footage that actually looks new. This new footage is of Ifrit, or whatever they decide to rename the fire summon in this game (**** BELIAS, HIS NAME IS IFRIT GODDAMMIT) and using flamethrower. This is probably the best 5 seconds in the entire trailer since it's original, shows action, and could potentially even be a part of gameplay. Then it ends abruptly with more stock footage of a pair of hands summoning who I'm told is supposed to be the new Carbuncle from a CD. This is a step back in gameplay from FFX where Yuna obtained her first summon by downloading Valefor onto her iPod. We then get some more Japanese text (unf unf unf) followed by some people excavating a Gundam and then firing at it for some reason ("IT'S NOT MOVING OR POSING ANY IMMEDIATE THREAT TO US, SHOOT IT!"). We then see the clone army of the Republic landing on Naboo alongside their new gas powered fireball troops. The Stormtroopers then grab their guns out of a truck, because apparently they're not responsible enough to keep them for themselves. We then cut to the main character of the game, whose name is apparently Lightning (couldn't make that up), doing a backflip and pointing her gun at a mechanized white shark and then squinting to try and seem badass. After showing someone shooting a machine gun (lol random violence), it shows the main character doing some more flips in a train which is then attacked by something. It's very hard to keep track of what's going on in this trailer since it has the highest number of quick shots that you can have in a video without giving someone a seizure. After more jumbled [reused] shots, it cuts to [reused shots of] some douche driving along a twisted, narrow road of ice on a motorcycle and shooting someone with a rocket launcher, proving that Square still doesn't know the difference between badass and stupid. This concludes quickshot mania.
We then get to see some more original footage, but this time it's needlessly boring. It shows a person with long, light-colored hair and a shoulder guard walking out of an Imperial transport. You never see this person's face in the trailer so for all we know it could just be Sephiroth looking for his Masamune. Sephiroth has landed at a Dead Space cosplay convention where Hayden apparently winded up by accident since she is clearly cosplaying a white mage from FFI. The Dead Space cosplayers are escorting Hayden out along with the coffin of the FF series' integrity, which passed away after the release of FFX2. Hayden then looks at the camera blankly for about 5 seconds before turning away, indicating both that she is sad for the death of the series and that the real Hayden is a better actress.
After yet another Japanese text flash (I came), we see [reused footage of] Lightning walking through a forest that looks remarkably like one of the areas in FFX, which I guess signifies that Square at least knows better than to fall back on FFVII for EVERY design choice that they make. Finally, we see the closest thing to gameplay that there is in this trailer - a series of quick cuts from cutscenes that are presumably on the in-game engine (you can tell because the quality is worse). Then it ends with the logo and some English text (WHAT A TWIST!) telling us that it will come 2009 for the PS3. In the past I would've been optimistically looking forward to playing FFXIII over Christmas break of next year, but now I know that 2009 really means 2010, 2010 means 2012, and 2011 means "canceled".
So as you can see, this trailer is nothing to get a boner about, even though Square fanboys have probably been watching this on continuous loop with their hands glued to their genitals since it came out.
Now for a trailer for a game that actually looks good.
FF versus XIII DKΣ3713 Trailer
The trailer starts out with English text (WEEABOO RAGE!) telling us that this is a fantasy based on reality. In other words, this game is a metaphor for the Iraq war.
The trailer starts with the main character, Noctis (reminds me of Noctowl because I'm such a pokemon nerd), riding in his Mercedes and brooding while listening to what is apparently the radio. It's very likely that he's listening to the news but for all we know about the world it could be anything from a cooking show to a traffic report to Rush Limbaugh talking about how affirmative action is putting too many Moogles in positions of power across the country. The main character is supposed to be a prince or something which explains why there are a bunch of other Mercedes in front of and behind him and also why those are the only cars on the road since we all know that royalty loves to waste gas so that they can drift race against themselves.
The next line of text reads "The true figure is hidden in sleep". This is good news because after 30 seconds this trailer is putting me to sleep, so I'm glad that I'll be able to find out more about the game by taking a nap than watching the rest of the trailer.
The trailer then goes back through the quickshot montage, starting out with a bunch of soldiers pointing their guns at Noctowl walking out of a church, a hot blonde white girl in a skirt standing in the middle of a city by herself at night (which is perfectly safe), and a battle scene that goes something like this:
Soldier used Bullet Seed!
Soldier's attack missed.
Noctowl used Reflect!
Noctowl gained armor!
Soldier used Bullet Seed!
It's not very effective.
Then the battle scene is interrupted by the credits, because we care so much. Of course all the names are in Japanese so we can only see their job and what series they worked on before (SPOILER: most of them are Final Fantasy and Kingdom Hearts). After that the quickshot orgy continues with another shot of Hot Stupid Girl followed by the continuation of Noctowl's battle with a wild Soldier:
Soldier used Bullet Seed!
Soldier's attack missed.
Then after another brief glimpse at the credits, we see an extreme closeup of HSG followed by Noctowl appearing out of a cloud of smoke. Then they cut back to the battle:
Noctowl used Swords Dance!
Noctowl's attack greatly rose!
After an interruption by more credits in which we see that the composer of the game is not Nobuo Uematsu, meaning that this game is already a disappointment for me, the game cuts to Noctowl's car driving through what looks to be Texas. Then after more exciting credits, we see doors opening, a chandelier, and a bunch of businessmen talking. This is clearly the battle system of the game. We then get more credits (**** YEAH!) and we resume Noctowl's battle with the soldiers:
Noctowl used Night Slash!
Critical hit!
It's super effective!
We then see Noctowl walking in on some hooded character (ie. white mage) trying to summon something from the looks of it, but before we can see anything more the credits cockblock us again. Instead of an action sequence, we see Noctowl chilling with his douchey looking friends, Douche with Gun, Douche with Beard, and Douche with Glasses. Fortunately, we aren't forced to look at these douches for long since the credits do us a favor for once by interrupting us. Then the trailer cuts to Douche with Gun and Noctowl getting out of Noctowl's Mercedes and looking at a portion of the road that's submerged underwater. This may seem like an odd sight or even an omen, but it's really just an example of how bad civil engineers are in Texas (Bridge goes OVER the water, *******). Then we see Noctowl and the white mage in a Mexican standoff, with Noctowl threatening the white mage with swords while the white mage threatens Noctowl with...circles? Really? Circles? "You may think you have the advantage with your actual weapons, Noctowl, but beware, for I have...BASIC GEOMETRY!!!"
We then see more of the pokemon battle:
Noctowl used Aerial Ace!
It's super effective!
Soldier used Explosion!
Credits used Anti-climax!
It's super frustrating!
Then we see the douches looking panicked in Noctowl's car. Presumably they just hit another car or a mailbox or a little kid or something. Then we see the table again with it zooming in on some guy in a striped suit who looks pissed. Maybe it was his mailbox who the douches hit. Then after MOAR CREDITS, we see Noctowl and the Douches looking at the World Trade Center and then turning around and walking toward the camera in slow motion, giving them even more emo cred. We then get even more credits, followed by a revisiting of the scene with Noctowl and HSG, the latter of who looks like an amalgam of Aerith, Tifa, Kairi, Yuna, and every other female character Tetsuya Nomura has designed. Noctowl and HSG pull out their swords and stare eachother down before MORE ****ING CREDITS.
After that we see the exciting new Walking Up Stairs in Pointy Shoes minigame that Square has promised 16 player online play for. Then it shows a shot of HSG looking at a painting and showing off her badonkadonk booty again and then she turns around and she and Noctowl stare at eachother. I have a feeling that they'll be staring at eachother a lot in this game, which is going to make for the most exciting and in-depth gameplay since Imagine Babies.
The trailer ends with Noctowl brooding behind a quote from Shakespeare: "Nothing is either good or bad, but thinking makes it so." This reminds me of Nintendo's old bull**** about how delaying games makes them good (paraphrasing), so this is probably a sign that Square is going to delay this game. They don't even give a date, which is a sign that this may even get pushed back to the PS4.
I should hate this trailer a lot more than I do since it's got more emo kids than a My Chemical Romance concert, but what makes this trailer immediately superior is that it has significantly less re-used footage then the FFXIII trailer, due in part to the fact that the first two trailers were almost exactly the same and showed us very little of the game (Trailer 1, Trailer 2). Even though they didn't show us any gameplay, we can assume that because there are so many people from Kingdom Hearts working on this that this will basically play out like Kingdom Hearts 3. In fact, I wouldn't be at all surprised if Douche with Beard said "Gawrsh".
tl;dr - Gates is wasting his life watching trailers for ****ty games that aren't coming out for another 2 years.
Ok, that's enough cynicism. These games look awesome and they're the only console games I'm really, really looking forward to at the moment. I'm a pretty big FF fan (mainly the first 6) and I'm definitely looking forward to both of these, especially versus XIII. And Noctil does look kind of ballin' when he's wearing that suit, I'm not gonna lie.
I'm not trying to diss Texas either. I've heard it's a really nice place.
DISCLAIMER: The following portion of the post is merely me cynically blowing the few flaws in the newest trailers grossly out of proportion for the lulz. It does not reflect my actual views on the game at all.
Let me take some time to tell you all why the new FFXIII and FF versus XIII trailers suck. We'll start with the FFXIII trailer since it's going to get more hype for the sheer fact that it's coming out on the 360.
FFXIII DKΣ3713 Trailer
Now let's break it down shot by shot. The trailer starts with some Japanese text that I can't read, which is always a good sign because when I start watching a trailer I don't want to have any idea what's going on, otherwise I might actually get my hopes up. They then start the trailer off with some re-used footage and music from the E3 Trailer. Granted the footage isn't exactly the same, but it still has people riding on some sort of dragon thing away from the camera and then it pans up to a view of what's probably going to end up being the new Death Star. The only difference in the new trailer is that it zooms in on one of the characters, a light-brown-haired Hayden Panettiere who is fixing her hair and holding what is either a bow or the handlebars of her bike that she broke while she was running away from Sylar. Of course, this shot is also recycled footage from the end of the E3 trailer since Square doesn't actually want to show us anything new from the game.
After another Japanese text break (HOORAY, MORE WORDS!), it moves to some B-Wings docking in a Mon-Calamari cruiser (btw, if you're wondering when I'm going to stop with the Star Wars jokes...well...) followed by a shot of the cruiser attaching itself to some other spacecraft for unknown reasons. It's probably for refueling or something, but everyone who has seen Dr. Strangelove knows that this is an obvious metaphor for sex. Is Square hinting at the possibility of a sex minigame? Will they pull another Mass Effect on us and let us **** blue chicks in the game? Will there be a secret ending where we can take Hayden down by the fire and make sweet sweet love to her?
Only in your dreams, fanboys.
The game then flashes us some more Japanese text (AWESOME!) and shows us more recycled footage from the E3 trailer of one of the summons playing Harp Hero, but then they pull a fast one on us and give us some footage that actually looks new. This new footage is of Ifrit, or whatever they decide to rename the fire summon in this game (**** BELIAS, HIS NAME IS IFRIT GODDAMMIT) and using flamethrower. This is probably the best 5 seconds in the entire trailer since it's original, shows action, and could potentially even be a part of gameplay. Then it ends abruptly with more stock footage of a pair of hands summoning who I'm told is supposed to be the new Carbuncle from a CD. This is a step back in gameplay from FFX where Yuna obtained her first summon by downloading Valefor onto her iPod. We then get some more Japanese text (unf unf unf) followed by some people excavating a Gundam and then firing at it for some reason ("IT'S NOT MOVING OR POSING ANY IMMEDIATE THREAT TO US, SHOOT IT!"). We then see the clone army of the Republic landing on Naboo alongside their new gas powered fireball troops. The Stormtroopers then grab their guns out of a truck, because apparently they're not responsible enough to keep them for themselves. We then cut to the main character of the game, whose name is apparently Lightning (couldn't make that up), doing a backflip and pointing her gun at a mechanized white shark and then squinting to try and seem badass. After showing someone shooting a machine gun (lol random violence), it shows the main character doing some more flips in a train which is then attacked by something. It's very hard to keep track of what's going on in this trailer since it has the highest number of quick shots that you can have in a video without giving someone a seizure. After more jumbled [reused] shots, it cuts to [reused shots of] some douche driving along a twisted, narrow road of ice on a motorcycle and shooting someone with a rocket launcher, proving that Square still doesn't know the difference between badass and stupid. This concludes quickshot mania.
We then get to see some more original footage, but this time it's needlessly boring. It shows a person with long, light-colored hair and a shoulder guard walking out of an Imperial transport. You never see this person's face in the trailer so for all we know it could just be Sephiroth looking for his Masamune. Sephiroth has landed at a Dead Space cosplay convention where Hayden apparently winded up by accident since she is clearly cosplaying a white mage from FFI. The Dead Space cosplayers are escorting Hayden out along with the coffin of the FF series' integrity, which passed away after the release of FFX2. Hayden then looks at the camera blankly for about 5 seconds before turning away, indicating both that she is sad for the death of the series and that the real Hayden is a better actress.
After yet another Japanese text flash (I came), we see [reused footage of] Lightning walking through a forest that looks remarkably like one of the areas in FFX, which I guess signifies that Square at least knows better than to fall back on FFVII for EVERY design choice that they make. Finally, we see the closest thing to gameplay that there is in this trailer - a series of quick cuts from cutscenes that are presumably on the in-game engine (you can tell because the quality is worse). Then it ends with the logo and some English text (WHAT A TWIST!) telling us that it will come 2009 for the PS3. In the past I would've been optimistically looking forward to playing FFXIII over Christmas break of next year, but now I know that 2009 really means 2010, 2010 means 2012, and 2011 means "canceled".
So as you can see, this trailer is nothing to get a boner about, even though Square fanboys have probably been watching this on continuous loop with their hands glued to their genitals since it came out.
Now for a trailer for a game that actually looks good.
FF versus XIII DKΣ3713 Trailer
The trailer starts out with English text (WEEABOO RAGE!) telling us that this is a fantasy based on reality. In other words, this game is a metaphor for the Iraq war.
The trailer starts with the main character, Noctis (reminds me of Noctowl because I'm such a pokemon nerd), riding in his Mercedes and brooding while listening to what is apparently the radio. It's very likely that he's listening to the news but for all we know about the world it could be anything from a cooking show to a traffic report to Rush Limbaugh talking about how affirmative action is putting too many Moogles in positions of power across the country. The main character is supposed to be a prince or something which explains why there are a bunch of other Mercedes in front of and behind him and also why those are the only cars on the road since we all know that royalty loves to waste gas so that they can drift race against themselves.
The next line of text reads "The true figure is hidden in sleep". This is good news because after 30 seconds this trailer is putting me to sleep, so I'm glad that I'll be able to find out more about the game by taking a nap than watching the rest of the trailer.
The trailer then goes back through the quickshot montage, starting out with a bunch of soldiers pointing their guns at Noctowl walking out of a church, a hot blonde white girl in a skirt standing in the middle of a city by herself at night (which is perfectly safe), and a battle scene that goes something like this:
Soldier used Bullet Seed!
Soldier's attack missed.
Noctowl used Reflect!
Noctowl gained armor!
Soldier used Bullet Seed!
It's not very effective.
Then the battle scene is interrupted by the credits, because we care so much. Of course all the names are in Japanese so we can only see their job and what series they worked on before (SPOILER: most of them are Final Fantasy and Kingdom Hearts). After that the quickshot orgy continues with another shot of Hot Stupid Girl followed by the continuation of Noctowl's battle with a wild Soldier:
Soldier used Bullet Seed!
Soldier's attack missed.
Then after another brief glimpse at the credits, we see an extreme closeup of HSG followed by Noctowl appearing out of a cloud of smoke. Then they cut back to the battle:
Noctowl used Swords Dance!
Noctowl's attack greatly rose!
After an interruption by more credits in which we see that the composer of the game is not Nobuo Uematsu, meaning that this game is already a disappointment for me, the game cuts to Noctowl's car driving through what looks to be Texas. Then after more exciting credits, we see doors opening, a chandelier, and a bunch of businessmen talking. This is clearly the battle system of the game. We then get more credits (**** YEAH!) and we resume Noctowl's battle with the soldiers:
Noctowl used Night Slash!
Critical hit!
It's super effective!
We then see Noctowl walking in on some hooded character (ie. white mage) trying to summon something from the looks of it, but before we can see anything more the credits cockblock us again. Instead of an action sequence, we see Noctowl chilling with his douchey looking friends, Douche with Gun, Douche with Beard, and Douche with Glasses. Fortunately, we aren't forced to look at these douches for long since the credits do us a favor for once by interrupting us. Then the trailer cuts to Douche with Gun and Noctowl getting out of Noctowl's Mercedes and looking at a portion of the road that's submerged underwater. This may seem like an odd sight or even an omen, but it's really just an example of how bad civil engineers are in Texas (Bridge goes OVER the water, *******). Then we see Noctowl and the white mage in a Mexican standoff, with Noctowl threatening the white mage with swords while the white mage threatens Noctowl with...circles? Really? Circles? "You may think you have the advantage with your actual weapons, Noctowl, but beware, for I have...BASIC GEOMETRY!!!"
We then see more of the pokemon battle:
Noctowl used Aerial Ace!
It's super effective!
Soldier used Explosion!
Credits used Anti-climax!
It's super frustrating!
Then we see the douches looking panicked in Noctowl's car. Presumably they just hit another car or a mailbox or a little kid or something. Then we see the table again with it zooming in on some guy in a striped suit who looks pissed. Maybe it was his mailbox who the douches hit. Then after MOAR CREDITS, we see Noctowl and the Douches looking at the World Trade Center and then turning around and walking toward the camera in slow motion, giving them even more emo cred. We then get even more credits, followed by a revisiting of the scene with Noctowl and HSG, the latter of who looks like an amalgam of Aerith, Tifa, Kairi, Yuna, and every other female character Tetsuya Nomura has designed. Noctowl and HSG pull out their swords and stare eachother down before MORE ****ING CREDITS.
After that we see the exciting new Walking Up Stairs in Pointy Shoes minigame that Square has promised 16 player online play for. Then it shows a shot of HSG looking at a painting and showing off her badonkadonk booty again and then she turns around and she and Noctowl stare at eachother. I have a feeling that they'll be staring at eachother a lot in this game, which is going to make for the most exciting and in-depth gameplay since Imagine Babies.
The trailer ends with Noctowl brooding behind a quote from Shakespeare: "Nothing is either good or bad, but thinking makes it so." This reminds me of Nintendo's old bull**** about how delaying games makes them good (paraphrasing), so this is probably a sign that Square is going to delay this game. They don't even give a date, which is a sign that this may even get pushed back to the PS4.
I should hate this trailer a lot more than I do since it's got more emo kids than a My Chemical Romance concert, but what makes this trailer immediately superior is that it has significantly less re-used footage then the FFXIII trailer, due in part to the fact that the first two trailers were almost exactly the same and showed us very little of the game (Trailer 1, Trailer 2). Even though they didn't show us any gameplay, we can assume that because there are so many people from Kingdom Hearts working on this that this will basically play out like Kingdom Hearts 3. In fact, I wouldn't be at all surprised if Douche with Beard said "Gawrsh".
tl;dr - Gates is wasting his life watching trailers for ****ty games that aren't coming out for another 2 years.
Ok, that's enough cynicism. These games look awesome and they're the only console games I'm really, really looking forward to at the moment. I'm a pretty big FF fan (mainly the first 6) and I'm definitely looking forward to both of these, especially versus XIII. And Noctil does look kind of ballin' when he's wearing that suit, I'm not gonna lie.
I'm not trying to diss Texas either. I've heard it's a really nice place.
