Plank Vs. DaPuffster
Match: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fbmu8fGcWaw
To enhance this ultimate viewing experience, I have created a timeline to go along with the match noting the critical points, reactions, and discussions of both players during this epic match. The timeline will be organized in 8:00-->0:00, followed by the clock.
Pre-match: Puffster counterpicks Pokemon Stadium, Plank's bane since the beginning of melee. Why would one pick such a stupid and ******** level against Plank? We will never know, this shows the intelligence of the average Diddy Kong player. A lightbulb goes off in Plank's head. He knows what he has to do.
8:00-7:56: Puffster promptly pulls out two bananas and starts running away shooting his gun. Plank realizes this kid is relentlessly annoying and lets out an exasperated sigh. We are in for a long match.
7:40: Puffster strikes first blood. This is not good. Plank realizes he needs to grab the lead and quickly does so because he is a far more talented player. Puffster lets out some sort of incomprehensible moan. Plank chuckles to himself, knowing what is to come shortly.
7:40-7:00: Puffster runs away and throws bananas and shoots his gun dealing minimal damage for 40 seconds. He is attempting to out-gay Plank. He is a fool. The stage transforms and Plank takes to the left side of the rock. Safety is his.
7:00-6:47: Puffster attempts to access Plank's side of the rock, but Puffster is not very smart. He seems to have forgotten he can airdodge shuttle loops. Tough break for Puffster.
6:47-6:37: Puffster resigns to his fate and falls back onto the right side of the rock after eating two shuttle loops. He begins to doubt his counterpick. Rightfully so, it was not a very wise counterpick. Puffster taunts. Plank taunts back and steals Puffster's thunder. The stage transformation goes away and Plank takes back to the air.
6:37-6:29: Puffster continues shooting peanuts and throwing bananas. None of them hit. Plank wonders if there is actually a brain in Puffster's head.
6:29-6:23: Puffster stands still and does nothing, thinking of what his next move will be to approach this flying ball of annoyance. He comes up with nothing and continues shooting peanuts and throwing bananas. Puffster begins to get very obviously irritated by his mannerisms outside of the game.
6:23-6:00: Plank somewhat leaves the air and deals some damage to Puffster further increasing his lead. Plank eats a downsmash. This is scary. Plank takes back to the air. The air is safe. Puffster tells Plank to come fight him like a man. Plank laughs.
6:00-5:34: A few more damage trades occur and Plank keeps a solid lead. The tree transformation comes up and Plank finds himself a homely little area on the left side of the tree. Puffster lets out an animal like squeel. Plank is extremely entertained, but must keep from laughing since he wants to win the match. Pokemon stadium is dubbed as officially at this point.
5:34-5:07: Neither players make any move towards each other. Plank adjusts his hat, making sure he is still looking fly as Tantalus cheers him on. Puffster begins having minor convulsions and shaking. Plank wonders if this is healthy, then realizes he does not care.
5:07-4:40: Plank flies around and Puffster throws things, both players trading damage slightly. Just as Puffster thinks he has a chance he dies to a downsmash at a mere 105%. This would be his last death. Puffster lets out a short string of profanities. Plank wonders where a child has learned such vulgar words, and hopes Puffster's dad didn't hear them.
4:40-4:10: Continued running around and banana throwing by Puffster. He has yet to adapt. In a world of natural selection, Puffster would have been gone long ago. The stage chances to a stage where Plank can not camp. This upsets Plank. Plank still hates Pokemon Stadium. Plank feels like his jump button may be close to breaking, and begin using tap jump. Thank god he didn't turn tap jump off.
3:46 - After about 25 more seconds of getting nothing accomplished, Puffster tries an inspiring new tactic. The random Diddy Kong up+b in the middle of the stage. This fails miserably and he is punished. Puffster is now rocking back and forth in his chair, looking like Mew2King of 2006.
2:38 - A little bit over two minutes after Puffster lost his first stock, Plank loses his. Plank is extremely disappointed in himself that he lost a stock to Puffster. He should've stayed in the center of the stage rather than near the edge. Lesson learned. Puffster sees a false glimpse of hope.
2:26 - Metaknight attempts to jump again but falls onto the Platform on Pokemon Stadium. Plank worries that Metaknight's wings are tired, but tells him to "man up". Metaknight begins flying again and all is right in the world. Puffster's convulsions are back to full force.
2:26-1:58 - Plank stops camping and almost loses the lead. This is not good for the strategy. Puffster continues his annoying one dimensional strategy, and Plank facepalms for going down to the ground. Puffster manages to test even Plank's patience.
1:58-1:22 - After an astonishingly well placed neutral air, Plank retreats to the left side of the rock again. It seems as if the rock intentionally came to aid Plank in his crusade against the annoyance that is Puffster and his Diddy Kong. Metaknight and the rock make love, and Metaknight gets a chance to rest his wings.
0:45 - The rock disappears and Plank takes back to the air. Puffster has less than a minute to think of a new strategy. Unlikely. Plank has an idea. He knows he has not grabbed the edge even close to 60 times.
0:33-0:15 - Plank gets on the ledge and Plank's as Puffster shoots peanuts that miss. Puffster continues to shoot the peanuts at the same trajectory as the previous even though they miss. Puffster does not learn. Puffster says "GET OFF THE LEDGE!" very angrily as Plank continues to refresh his invincibility. Plank denies this courteous offer and continues to cling to his soulmate. Plank sees that Puffster has gotten frustrated and gets up and downsmashes Puffster. The lead increases.
0:15-0:00 - Plank continues to fly around in the air with his lead secure. Puffster attempts to hit him with aerials. He fails. Time runs out. Puffster tries to hit Plank after the time runs out. Puffster is angry and whining about how it was the gayest match he has ever played.
Post-match - Puffster insists that we check the edge grabs. Plank, knowing very well he did not come close to his edge grab limit, whole-heartedly agrees. Both players see Plank only grabbed the ledge 31 times, and Plank kicks himself for not taking more advantage of the rule. Puffster gets up, refusing to shake Plank's hand and stomps away from the TV. Planks laughs and thinks about how stupid Brawl is.
THE END
