Falco's lasers are used to try and force you to lag so Falco can do things to you. So make sure that you take your time while approaching and don't let him bait you into anything silly (like a midrange spotdodge or roll into him) with his lasers.
I know how great it is, but it's only great up close. I understand he was exagerrating for the sake of emphasis, but even then that sounds a bit too forceful.
Unfortunately there was no exaggeration. Falco's jab absolutely destroys Zelda's ground based moves. In terms of pure range, it outranges her whole grounded moveset except for Fsmash and Ftilt (it barely loses in range to Ftilt). However, because of the speed of Falco's jab (and the lack of speed on Zelda's Ftilt and Fsmash), it easily beats out Ftilt and Fsmash at any range where they could actually reach Falco (because of the way that Zelda executes these moves). This includes spacing so that only the absolute tip of the last burst of her Fsmash will hit. Falco's jab eclipses all of Zelda's moves in terms of speed and it's unpunishable on block except by a frame perfect Usmash OoS (but that's only if he spaces it really poorly) due to Zelda's poor grab speed and the potential for Falco to use his second jab.
*Falco's Dair does not clink w/ uptilt.
Zelda's Utilt has transcendent priority and doesn't "clink" with anything.
*Up-tilt beats his side-b. This is a way to kill Falco. If the Falco side-bs back to the stage, bingo.
Actually, many of Zelda's moves can beat out his sideB. Any smash, Neutral B, and sideB are all things that consistently beat out his sideB if timed correctly. However, the timing on many of them is not practical.
Falco frame data is pretty vague when it comes to the sideB, but it says that it hits on frame 17 (I'll assume you have until frame 19 because Falco has 3 spots he can cancel the sideB (1 frame each) and maybe he's really far away). That being said, it'd be really hard to punish a sideB with Utilt when you include reaction time. I would probably punish with Usmash or Dsmash because they're faster.