Is the recommended way to hadnle bullies really good?

Dark.Pch · Jul 27, 2009

In school when one is picked on, They are told to tell a teacher or a parent. But does it really end it. And will this affect you when you are older.

To me I don't think just telling a parent or teacher will make it better or stop the problem. As bad as this sounds, life is tuff, and there will always be people messing with someone else and asking for it. Really in high school. it won't be that easy to just tell soon you are being messed with. This is why you have to learn how to defend yourself. people will not mess with others who can hold thier own ground or are stronger.

Violence does not solve anything, is what people say. But I believe it should be put "False violence does not solve anything." Also when one gets older and they can't run to a person to help them and etc. they are in trouble. They have to deal with the problem on their own. even at ages like 20's They don't really have that courage to stand up for themselfs. The way life is, can't just sit back and just talk to an idiot who is asking for it. You can try that. That should be the first thing, and if not and he keeps on going, even to a point he wants to fight, I say let him have it.

What do people think about this.

thegreatkazoo · Jul 27, 2009

Being from a place that isn't the quaint college town you'd expect (Athens, GA), I can relate to this. In my high school, fights were something you'd get to see maybe once or twice a day.

However, I heard an interesting take on the subject. A social studies teacher of mine said that when two kids wanted to go at it, he would take them to the back of the school, put a pair of Sockem Boppers on their fist, and just wail. Not granted, this wasn't the norm of the school, but whatever got the kids so riled up quickly dissipated when punching one another with inflatable plastic fists.

Though in a more realistic sense, self defense is the way to go. Every kid should at least know how to defend himself in a way so that in the event a fight does happen, you have the means to end it quickly and with as little damage as possible.

F1ZZ · Jul 27, 2009

I currently attend a high school and I must admit that there occasionally are a lot of fights that were caused due to bullying. My parents even to today still say that the best way to deal with a bully is to just not give any reaction. As a result the bully would not get the satisfaction of the victim being tormented.

I would be the perfect victim sadly. I am a small person and I am not the toughest bunny in the forest. I always follow my mom's advice and just don't give them a reaction. About 2 weeks later they don't even egknowledge you. The only down side to this method of preventing bullying is that the pain emotional you deal with for the 2 weeks. You always are wondering if they will actually stop and if you are almost at the breaking point.

I certainly don't have the option of fight because I am a small person. Even if I did have that option I would not use it because I personally believe that violence is not the answer.

Fuelbi · Jul 27, 2009

Lets see. Growing up with a family that has a father that allows self defense i personally believe that violence is the best answer. i am just like F1ZZ above me smallest person in class, not the strongest "bunny in the forest". As a result i have to withstand it. now i dont hurt a person unless they hurt me. instead if it is verbal abuse respond with verbal abuse. now there have been times where ive hurt people on verbal abuse but that is just because i had been hit in my breaking point. Now when i was a small boy i never thought violence was the best answer. actually i just allowed them but i shrugged it off knowing it would eventually stop. for example in second grade this boy used throw me to the ground during P.E. now that wasnt the most violent situation ive been in but that hurt alot as a young boy. now the first time i hit my breaking point and fought was in fifth grade. this kid loogied in my face. then i chased him down and i started hitting him. once i threw him to the ground i started kicking him in the face. i then remember throwing his glasses and breaking them i think. afterwards i got more respect from my fellows.

well anyways comparing second grade to fifth people respected you and stopped bothering you when you fought and beat the hell out of those people. so i think wonder how is it that that could be? then i start thinking could it be because of our savage roots. back then people used to beat the **** out of each other for respect. we still do that today. for example if you lose an MMA fight you lose respect from teh audience. back then in the gladiator games you lost respect (and sometimes your life) if you lost one of those games. so to wrap it up yes i believe violence is the best answer considering our savage roots

thegreatkazoo · Jul 27, 2009

roacherman said:
Lets see. Growing up with a family that has a father that allows self defense i personally believe that violence is the best answer. i am just like F1ZZ above me smallest person in class, not the strongest "bunny in the forest". As a result i have to withstand it. now i dont hurt a person unless they hurt me. instead if it is verbal abuse respond with verbal abuse. now there have been times where ive hurt people on verbal abuse but that is just because i had been hit in my breaking point. Now when i was a small boy i never thought violence was the best answer. actually i just allowed them but i shrugged it off knowing it would eventually stop. for example in second grade this boy used throw me to the ground during P.E. now that wasnt the most violent situation ive been in but that hurt alot as a young boy. now the first time i hit my breaking point and fought was in fifth grade. this kid loogied in my face. then i chased him down and i started hitting him. once i threw him to the ground i started kicking him in the face. i then remember throwing his glasses and breaking them i think. afterwards i got more respect from my fellows.

well anyways comparing second grade to fifth people respected you and stopped bothering you when you fought and beat the hell out of those people. so i think wonder how is it that that could be? then i start thinking could it be because of our savage roots. back then people used to beat the **** out of each other for respect. we still do that today. for example if you lose an MMA fight you lose respect from teh audience. back then in the gladiator games you lost respect (and sometimes your life) if you lost one of those games. so to wrap it up yes i believe violence is the best answer considering our savage roots

Just because people are savage doesn't mean that they should continue to be so, durr...

How does beating someone to a pulp solve anything? You probably got in some trouble for kicking this guy's face in, which is something you probably weren't looking forward to. Condoning violence isn't the best way to stop a bully, as the numbers show children are more likely to become bullies through maltreatment, violence, and/or abuse.

Poor argument again...

F1ZZ · Jul 27, 2009

To roacherman:

I completely disagree with you. The famous Mahatma Gandi once said, " An eye for an eye would make the world blind." I 100% agree with this quote becuase violence will only lead to more violence. Yes everyone needs to defend themselves sometimes but there are better ways than violoence. As simple as it seems you can just tell a person with authority to deal with the situation. An other way would be to hand out with your friends, surely a single bully won't target 5 kids at once. My gym teacher this year told our class that bullies feed off reactions. No reactions means they will move on to other victims and leave you alone. If violence is your personal way to defend yourself than let it be but there other other ways that are just or even more effective.

CStick · Jul 27, 2009

one way or another, you have to learn to stand up for yourself. If you don't, you end up like the stapler guy in "Office Space". Being able to take pride in yourself and seeing yourself as better than being subjected to that nonsense is a pretty essential part to being a normal human being. Just 'letting it go' is probably just as encouraging to the bully as it is when he gets rise out of you.

Even if fighting is a bad idea, taking the situation to the authorities is still something you should always do. Whatever it takes to discourage them and stand up for yourself in some way...

BOB SAGET! · Jul 27, 2009

If your bullied this is what u do http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dGaoKz6i_Ms

Crimson King · Jul 27, 2009

How are you still in this room?

thegreatkazoo · Jul 27, 2009

BOB SAGET! said:
If your bullied this is what u do http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dGaoKz6i_Ms

Wow what an asinine statement, @$$hat. :chuckle:

Airgemini · Jul 28, 2009

I believe you have to learn self defense, or learn how to stand up for yourself to stop bullying.

In middle school, when I lived in an older appartment (don't live there anymore), at my bus stop I'd get teased/picked on by these mexican kids (nothing extremelly harsh, but it was obvious they didn't like me). On the bus whenver I'd sit in front of one of them they'd be behind me and they'd like, poke me and stuff. I tried the method of 'ignoring them until it goes away' for a while and it didn't really work, they kept doing it. So one day I had a haircut and I really didn't like it so after school on the way home I'd put my hood over it. Somewhere near the departure of the school some kid kept trying to pull my hood down because he apparently knew I had a haircut; I kept trying to pull my hood down while he had it up. While he was doing this, some of the other kids were laughing or whatever and from what I can remember I was about to explode. So while he was trying to pull it off I took a deep breath and as loud and angerly as I could I said "STOP". Immediately he stopped, the kids stopped laughing, and I remained pissed for the rest of the day. After that, I was never picked on by them again

.

/walloftext

Tl;dr: Learn to stick up for yourself.

F1ZZ · Jul 28, 2009

Earlier this evening I was refereeing a soccer game that related to this thread. There were 2 incidents that were dealt differently and had different out comes. The first situation was that a kid was being pushed but I did not see it. He brought it up to my attention and told me who the pusher was. I payed attention to this pusher and he in fact was pushing. As a result I gave free kicks to the opposite team of the pusher. Sadly the pusher continue pushing and pushed someone else. This new little boy that was pushed did not in fact tell me but instead took matters into his own hands. He got up and threw a punch at the pusher. Due to this an all out brawl between both players occured. I gave both a red card and they got ejected from this game and they can also not play the next game.

One of the children in this example used his words to stand up to the bully. This method got the better result because the pusher got in trouble and it help out this team. Whereas the second little boy cause violence and got kicked out as well as the pusher. This was not as affective and really didn't help out the situation.

xLeafybug =D · Jul 29, 2009

What most parents and educators believe to be the best answer is often not the best answer. I grew up in a really tough area, and the only way to not be bullied in my situation was to fight back, to show people that you're not scared.

Most cases of bullying that you hear about involve little kids. Most of these kids have no idea what they're saying, or how it's affecting the other person(s). I believe that in these cases, telling an adult would probably be the best option.

That being said, I believe that there is no answer to put an end to bullying. There is a vast plethora options to handle bullying, and often, most of these options can end up escalating the situation. It's completely situational.

Dark.Pch · Aug 3, 2009

F1ZZ said:
I currently attend a high school and I must admit that there occasionally are a lot of fights that were caused due to bullying. My parents even to today still say that the best way to deal with a bully is to just not give any reaction. As a result the bully would not get the satisfaction of the victim being tormented.

I would be the perfect victim sadly. I am a small person and I am not the toughest bunny in the forest. I always follow my mom's advice and just don't give them a reaction. About 2 weeks later they don't even egknowledge you. The only down side to this method of preventing bullying is that the pain emotional you deal with for the 2 weeks. You always are wondering if they will actually stop and if you are almost at the breaking point.

I certainly don't have the option of fight because I am a small person. Even if I did have that option I would not use it because I personally believe that violence is not the answer.

So from my understanding, you would let a person push you around. You can ignore them and all, but some fools just won't stop. And some will just fight or hit you. Kids these days don't care. And at one point, you are gonna have to learn to defend yourself, no matter your size. And one can learn self defense tactics.

This is not using violence just for the hell of it. it is to protect yourself. One fool could come to you asking for your Ipod or w/e. You say no and then he would wanna fight. What you do then, give it to him? Or let him hurt you in the process. There is a difference between picking a fight and defensing yourself. I don't consider self defense an act of violence.

F1ZZ · Aug 3, 2009

If the bullying was verbal I would try to ignore it completely but if it was physical that I would fight back. Words can hurt you but if you ignore them and pretend you didn't hear then the problem is solved. Physically you have to stand up for yourself because the bully will continue to bully you until you stop it. When I was in Grade 2 my parents put my into Karate sessions to try and teach my self defense for when I got older. I also don't consider self defense an act of violence but only if it is your only choice. If someone starts to attack you than you should defend yourself because you can't ignore it whereas if you were verbally being bullied you could just walk away. If someone did come up to me and ask for my Ipod and I knew they meant business, I would give them it. No item in this world is worth your life. Yes, it isn't fun to lose a personal item such as an Ipod but if your life was on the line you should give it up.

Either way it is your choice on how you deal with the bully and at the end of the day you have to be happy with your decision. Hopefully sometime in the future bullying will be resolving unthough it is highly unlikely.

Dark.Pch · Aug 3, 2009

There are some cases where your life can be taken away and it is not worth fighting for.

There was a boxer who lost his life cause I think they Robbed him for his car. There was like three guys. Instead of letting it go cause of his pride, he tried to fight them all and get his car back. And the results was that he lost his life for it.

Some things are not worth losing your life for. if a guy came up to you with a gun and asked for your wallet, you would give it to him. Even if that gun was fake. You have no clue who he is or what he would do. Your first option would be the concern of your life.

But if one was to come to me asking for my stuff and they have nothing on them ( if anything that serious, a knife) I'm not giving them anything cause at this point I can defend myself and fight the fool off. This applies for school losers. This be the act of self defense and dealing with bullies. Most kids just always tell parents or teachers. but not much happens. The bullies keep going. And since they are use to be told to let someone know about this, they won't do anything. They get hurt and pushed around. This leads to emotional destress and even teens killing themselves.

The recommended way to deal with a bully only works to a certain extent.

Shadow13 · Aug 4, 2009

The recommended way to deal with bullies works some of the time, but most of the time when it does work it is with verbal bullying as opposed to physical bullying.
Ignoring the bully/bullies or telling somebody could work in that situation, but if somebody was threatening to hurt you or was hurting you, then you would need to defend yourself, or at the very least, flee. Although, one problem with trying to defend yourself is the possibility of more than one bully, your abilities to fight must be much better than their's if you can defend yourself against 2-4 people.
Self defence is OK, I really don't see a problem with it. If they want to attack you, you fight back to get them to stop.
And for the mentioned armed robbery of a person, that gets to the point of not having the whole "bullying" thing being just bullying, shooting a person with a deadly weapon could lead to a dead person, which is why it is called "deadly".
So, to answer the question, maybe, depends on the type of bullying, the bully themself, and where you are. So, not really for most cases, but it does depend on the situation itself too much to say a definite yes or no.

Alus · Aug 4, 2009

Whether the recommended way works or not completely depends on what the idiot wants. If he/she wants your money I will bet everything I have that ignoring them isn't a good option.
Though I strongly recommend that you tell someone, even if you think that not much will be done.

Dark.Pch · Aug 7, 2009

Another thing I wanted to get at was that was this recommended way to deal with bullies can be bad cause people would get use to this. And be kinda whimpy or w/e you wanna call it. They won't stand up for themselves much and be pushed around as they older and even out of school. I seen people in their 20's that get pushed around and let people walk all over them. they can't really stick up for themselves.

Is the recommended way to hadnle bullies really good?

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