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Daily Tips On How To Play "Gay"

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DMG

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DMG#931
Have you ever felt that your game play was... lacking something important? Do others ridicule you for approaching or playing with honor? Would you like to know how you can improve by taking small, daily steps towards a better future in Brawl?


Hi, my name is DMG. I am a professional camper. I am considered by many as, and I quote, "One of the Gayest, Campiest, most Boring players to ever watch in Brawl" and I'm proud of it. I am currently the only man known in the universe to have Money Matched Jesus and won (Obviously I timed him out).


Some say I have an addiction to playing gay. My response, to those who suggest that, is
"It's not an addiction if it's something you really love." Indeed, I love to play gay. It's a part of who I am as a person. Forever will my passion to play gay fervently burn in my soul, and over time instead of fighting my urges/desires, I have come to peacefully accept this as an gift, not a curse.


Ladies and Gentlemen, what I would like to do in this thread is offer daily advice on... YOU GUESSED IT! HOW TO PLAY GAY!!! There is one personal rule however:

1. Never question my tips. They always work, if they don't it means you need to play gayer.

2. Join my corresponding Social Group if you enjoy this thread/playing "Gay": http://www.smashboards.com/group.php?groupid=1537


Let's get started, shall we?








PREVIOUS TIPS:


Saturday, September 5th, 2009 > Gay Tip #1: Always Double Blind Pick First Match Of A Set

September 6th, 2009 > Gay Tip #2: Wearing A Watch Subtly Reminds You To Manage Your Time Well, Therefore You Play Gayer

September 7th, 2009 > Gay Tip #3: It's not Stalling, It's testing your Endurance.

September 8th, 2009 > Gay Tip #4: If you want to play gay, you better have good reasons/excuses for doing so.




♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

DMG's Current "Gay" Tip Of The Day: If you lose, start playing "gayer"



There is no reason... EVER... for you to lose. If you lose, it means that either:

1. You didn't play "gay" enough, or

2. The other guy played "gayer" than you.


You can apply this sound logic to any stage and it would be correct. Now, once you realize this, you should learn how to play "gayer". Luckily, I'll tell you some stuff on how to do it better.





First off, you want to pick a character that's actually GOOD at playing "gay". Characters like Lucario, TL, ZSS, Peach, etc. They might not make the "gayness" cut (and yes FYI Marth makes the cut, so don't ask). While you are doing this, make sure you're not walking into a trap set by the opponent ("I think he's gonna try to play "gay" with Dedede, I'm gonna go IC's/Olimar/someone who can play "gay". Dang I was right, read him like a book lol why he so predictable he gon get *****!")



Now when it comes to playing gay, here are some things to think about:

1. Where is your opponent currently at? - Don't focus so much on where you are located, focus more on where your opponent is.

2. Where does my opponent probably WANT to go? - This is a very important part of camping well/playing "gay". If you understand where your opponent wants to go, you can plan ahead and either move away from where he wants to go, or you can try to prevent him from getting there first. Let's take Brinstar and Wario vs Snake for example. Snake doesn't have many places he can safely be, nor places where he can reliably hit Wario. If you know where he is going to go with his already limited options, you start amassing quite a strong lead that can be near unstoppable if you play your cards right.

3. How precise is my character with his/her movements? - It's not THAT important to understand where you are at any given time, but it IS important to understand how well your character can move when the time comes for them to move from their spot. If you don't understand fairly precisely how well your character can move, mobility and speed wise, then it's pointless trying to run away from a good opponent for a longer period of time since you will more likely than not mis space or mis time something and get punished bad for it. It's also nice to understand the correlation your movement has with the opponent's attacks (If you are moving away/closer, how far the opponent would have to keep moving to hit you).

4. How can I take advantage, if possible, of my opponent's potential adverse reactions when put under this kind of stress? (Timer running out, his opponent running away the entire match, getting heavily damaged and then his opponent runs, etc) - Let's face it: most of us at some point or another will experience a moment where you are completely fed up with your opponent and you start making mistakes that cost you later on in the game. It's understandable to react that way under the circumstances, however if you are putting that kind of pressure on him you might as well punish his mistakes. This means that when you see the Snake player jumping into the air trying to hit you with an aerial, or when you see that character start approaching really aggressive or trying risky things, that you punish them for doing it and then you go back into playing "gay" mode. Punishing them for their original mistakes will usually anger/frustrate them further, and open the door for more/bigger mistakes to follow.



When you play "gay", it boils down to how well you understand both characters, how well you can read the opponent, and the stage. Once you get these things down... well GL to your opponent as he might need it.





And there you have it Folks. That is my Daily Tip On How To Play "Gay".
 

Mota

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I don't know how to respond to this...

Ummm any tips on how to play "gay" with Toon Link?
 

Dark 3nergy

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the vast majority of colors in the OP post are gaying my eyes pretty hard. welp better prepare myself
 

Nanaki

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Great. By the time you get to 'Gay Tip #50', we'll have an army of DMG's running around making everyone want to kill themselves. Seriously though, you're not talking that much about playing 'gay', you're talking about playing SMART. Playing smart wins you matches.

Does anyone else think it's kind of immature how we throw around the terms 'gay' and '****' so freely in this community? I'm not gay, and have never been *****, but it's slightly offensive even to me.

*Waits for incoming flame responses about how gay I am and how much **** I deserve*
 

Red Arremer

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Could you maybe use colors that aren't crippling my eyes? Especially that dark green is awful.
 

Dark 3nergy

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Great. By the time you get to 'Gay Tip #50', we'll have an army of DMG's running around making everyone want to kill themselves. Seriously though, you're not talking that much about playing 'gay', you're talking about playing SMART. Playing smart wins you matches.

Does anyone else think it's kind of immature how we throw around the terms 'gay' and '****' so freely in this community? I'm not gay, and have never been *****, but it's slightly offensive even to me.

*Waits for incoming flame responses about how gay I am and how much **** I deserve*
Look at how old most smashers are. I think you'll see the answer for yourself champ

and yes you are horribly gay you rude jerk
 

DMG

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DMG#931
Great. By the time you get to 'Gay Tip #50', we'll have an army of DMG's running around making everyone want to kill themselves. Seriously though, you're not talking that much about playing 'gay', you're talking about playing SMART. Playing smart wins you matches.

Does anyone else think it's kind of immature how we throw around the terms 'gay' and '****' so freely in this community? I'm not gay, and have never been *****, but it's slightly offensive even to me.

*Waits for incoming flame responses about how gay I am and how much **** I deserve*
Scorptile, think about it: If I come All out, Guns Blazing with the gayest tip ever ON THE FIRST DAY, people's heads would EXPLODE from sheer incomprehensibility. I have to start out on "light stuff" and gradually work my way up the "Gay" playing Ladder until we get to the best of the best.

I quite obviously had to sandbag my first tip for the greater good of the community.

Edit: No more color changes. If they "gay" your eyes, then I guess my plan worked. :)
 

Dark 3nergy

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Requesting OP signs each and every single one of his posts with his signature to further the OPs point on gayness

because frankly the posts are not gay enough
 

Nanaki

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Scorptile, think about it: If I come All out, Guns Blazing with the gayest tip ever ON THE FIRST DAY, people's heads would EXPLODE from sheer incomprehensibility. I have to start out on "light stuff" and gradually work my way up the "Gay" playing Ladder until we get to the best of the best.

I quite obviously had to sandbag my first tip for the greater good of the community.

Edit: No more color changes. If they "gay" your eyes, then I guess my plan worked. :)
You never fail to disappoint with your posts. I lol'd pretty good at this one. :)
 

Red Arremer

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You should, instead of random colors, use only Pink or the colors of the rainbow (in that order). Or make them gradient. Like this:

For those of you who don't know, for the first match of a set you can call a "Double Blind Pick". What this means is that usually one or both players will tell a trusted person who they will pick in private instead of selecting immediately at the TV screen. Once you are ready, you have those people announce the character choices. You CANNOT switch characters at that point, so if a double Blind is called and you go DK and your opponent goes Dedede, there's no turning back from the gayness that will ensue.
Now, some of you may ask what is the purpose of calling a Double Blind Pick? Why not just pick your character like normal? There are many reasons to call for a Double Blind Pick. The most common reason to call for a Double Blind is that you want to hopefully CP your opponent's character or not reveal any character information prior to the fight. Say you main Marth, and your opponent mains Dedede, but he is unaware that you main Marth. You can use this to your advantage by calling for a Double Blind. The Dedede player might be afraid that you will go to a counter character (remember, he doesn't know who you main or play as), and the Dedede player himself might switch to a different character to prepare for your pick. If you can predict well enough, you can counter his switch, or counter him if he stays as Dedede.

THAT would be pretty gay. :3
 

DMG

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DMG#931
You should, instead of random colors, use only Pink or the colors of the rainbow (in that order). Or make them gradient. Like this:

For those of you who don't know, for the first match of a set you can call a "Double Blind Pick". What this means is that usually one or both players will tell a trusted person who they will pick in private instead of selecting immediately at the TV screen. Once you are ready, you have those people announce the character choices. You CANNOT switch characters at that point, so if a double Blind is called and you go DK and your opponent goes Dedede, there's no turning back from the gayness that will ensue. Now, some of you may ask what is the purpose of calling a Double Blind Pick? Why not just pick your character like normal? There are many reasons to call for a Double Blind Pick. The most common reason to call for a Double Blind is that you want to hopefully CP your opponent's character or not reveal any character information prior to the fight. Say you main Marth, and your opponent mains Dedede, but he is unaware that you main Marth. You can use this to your advantage by calling for a Double Blind. The Dedede player might be afraid that you will go to a counter character (remember, he doesn't know who you main or play as), and the Dedede player himself might switch to a different character to prepare for your pick. If you can predict well enough, you can counter his switch, or counter him if he stays as Dedede.

THAT would be pretty gay. :3
Rainbow colored Text is expected. I have to surprise my fans with Sheer Color Conflicts to further molest the eyes. One day however, I will start swinging with Rainbow Colored Text, invisible text, maybe even quote some off topic posts about "Taking a trip to Orlando".
 

Red Arremer

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How about this then? Instead of Rainbow colored gradient, just have randomness occur, that'd be the most gay thing ever.
 

Dark 3nergy

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You should, instead of random colors, use only Pink or the colors of the rainbow (in that order). Or make them gradient. Like this:

For those of you who don't know, for the first match of a set you can call a "Double Blind Pick". What this means is that usually one or both players will tell a trusted person who they will pick in private instead of selecting immediately at the TV screen. Once you are ready, you have those people announce the character choices. You CANNOT switch characters at that point, so if a double Blind is called and you go DK and your opponent goes Dedede, there's no turning back from the gayness that will ensue.
Now, some of you may ask what is the purpose of calling a Double Blind Pick? Why not just pick your character like normal? There are many reasons to call for a Double Blind Pick. The most common reason to call for a Double Blind is that you want to hopefully CP your opponent's character or not reveal any character information prior to the fight. Say you main Marth, and your opponent mains Dedede, but he is unaware that you main Marth. You can use this to your advantage by calling for a Double Blind. The Dedede player might be afraid that you will go to a counter character (remember, he doesn't know who you main or play as), and the Dedede player himself might switch to a different character to prepare for your pick. If you can predict well enough, you can counter his switch, or counter him if he stays as Dedede.

THAT would be pretty gay. :3
all i can see is lucky charms rly

How about this then? Instead of Rainbow colored gradient, just have randomness occur, that'd be the most gay thing ever.
thats better
 

kailo34ce

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Dmg don't know bout dem stocks.

***** comes on the block and plays for pink slips wit da clock

Farts

Laugh

Run

Repeat

Life on da street yo
 

Dark 3nergy

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Looking forward to how one can go about out gaying the gayest of meta knights

gonna be a great multi cultural read im sure
 

demonictoonlink

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So...I would love to learn from you, and I like how you play...but....
Is there any other thing we could call it? I get that not every gay person would be offended, but...I mean...especially with this playstyle rising in popularity...Could we call it like Marplar? I don't know, but gay just doesn't seem right...ya know?
 

Eternal Yoshi

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Question, why has no one done this with Jiggs yet? I'm sure this style of play can get her above Yoshi and Samus.
 

DMG

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DMG#931
So...I would love to learn from you, and I like how you play...but....
Is there any other thing we could call it? I get that not every gay person would be offended, but...I mean...especially with this playstyle rising in popularity...Could we call it like Marplar? I don't know, but gay just doesn't seem right...ya know?
No. Look very closely at the thread title. The word "Gay" is enclosed in quotation marks. Therefore I am obviously referring to playing in such a way as to frustrate the opponent beyond belief, using tactics one may consider extremely powerful/irritating until I win.

I would have no problem sitting down with a Gay smasher and telling him/her before we play that "I'm gonna play 'Gay'." I'm sure he/she knows I am gonna play "Gay", after all I am DMG lol.

If someone comes up to me or PM's me and tells me they are genuinely offended by me calling it "Gay", I will sincerely consider changing it. I'm sure most people know that I am not using that term to offend people/to get a reaction out of it.
 

Nidtendofreak

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[I am currently the only man known in the universe to have Money Matched Jesus and won (Obviously I timed him out).
*looks at sig*

I don't remember playing you though. O_o When was this?

EDIT: Of course, when I do this, my message when apparently like a few words too short to show my sig. Stupid thing.
 

mountain_tiger

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Question, why has no one done this with Jiggs yet? I'm sure this style of play can get her above Yoshi and Samus.
Hmm... I can definitely see Jigglypuff going above Samus, but as for Yoshi... I still think that Yoshi has some untapped potential in him, and could probably be top of E Tier.

And also, the main reason people don't play gay is because the majority of people find it incredibly boring, and, at the end of the day, games are designed to be fun.
 

Hype

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One of the future tips should be waiting in your respawn to waist time if you have the lead or have a character that charges stuff (wario, rob, etc.)
 

Mike B

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I am sure the Romans expected their prisoners to kill lions with their bare hands, feet and maybe teeth, but Emperor Julius said "Let there be gay." And thus, weapons were introduced into the colosseum.
 

Dark 3nergy

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Wait I'm gay in real life ( Likes Men), so since I love to play "Gay" does that mean my playstyle is Super Gay? :mad:


You should gloriously change your avatar to transexual fruit eating guy[one with the huge eye lashes]

and i will love you forever. Because hormone giving guy is the best character to ever been bestowed apon One Piece
 
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