Captain Falcon
the dude had his moveset 100% made-up, he was just a racecar driver before smash, now he's everyone's favorite Super-dude.
Although it is most admirable to nominate the Captain for this honor, I must say that it is a matter of popular myth that his moveset is entirely fabricated. Allow me to share some of the scholarly research I have conducted into Captain Falcon's most epic and manliest moves.
Let's remember that he is in fact a bounty hunter by occupation and examine how each move accords duly with recorded history and sound fact.
Gentleman Jab--Falcon's third jab, and probably the manliest jab in the game. Only Captain Falcon is hardcore enough to beat you down this politely. This move was clearly based on actual, recorded, historical use by Robin Hood, King Arthur, and George Washington, the only men in history manly enough to distribute justice so gallantly.
Heel of Justice--Falcon's Utilt is the scourge of evildoers in over 9000 galaxies. It is said that the boot contains adamantium and a teaspoon of matter from a neutron star's surface to increase the sheer brutality of the downswing. It was used in the Battle of Stamford Bridge during the last stand of the indomitable Haraldr Hardhradi, where it felled six thousand Englishmen with the resulting shockwave.
Elbow of Judgment--Only Captain Falcon's elbow could create this much destruction. Trust me. Its use is well recognized and far-reaching, seen even on the primordial paintings at Lascaux, where a particularly hairy and grizzled warrior is seen elbowing a horse with extreme brutality.
Knee of Justice--Also to be seen in the famed Lascaux series, where it is shown single-handedly felling a woolly mammoth and a Tyrannosaurus rex.
Falcon Punch--The only move with a recognized biblical precedent, utilized by only the manliest prophets and holy warriors, including Samson, Gabriel, and John the Baptist.
Heels of Vindication--Falcon's dreaded Dsmash is perhaps historically his most interesting move of all, originating in a double roundhouse kick that Chuck Norris delivered to an unfortunate man with an incredibly thick skull who had insulted him. By some miracle the twin kicks did not kill him, but instead transplanted him several thousand millennia in time, where he met the living Buddha and was soundly scoffed at for his stupidity. The man swore that he would dispatch Norris with the same roundhouse kicks that had tossed him through time, but after several abortive attempts he met only the uproarious laughter of the Buddha, who said, "What is the sound of two roundhouse kicks clapping?" It was then that the man achieved enlightenment and was able to achieve the lightning fast sweeping kick that is now immortalized as the Heels of Vindication.
Nipple Stomp/Nipple Thrust--Captain Falcon's dreaded spike was discovered on the grueling coastline of medieval North America, where the miniature Ice Age conditions forced the natives from the withered land to hunt for ferocious inhabitants of the sea. Fortuitously discovered when an unfortunate toddler was tossed into the sea to appease an oceanic deity and inadvertently killed a baby seal with his lead-lined boots, it was shown to the Viking explorers and explained in detail in the harrowing Saga of the Falcon. The technique consisted of diving suicidally into the teeming waters and stomping sharks and killer whales with extreme brutality and justice, using the eponymous nipple thrust to exert maximum force and righteousness.
The technique was curiously said to be utilized most effectively by the feminine element of society, particularly the more well endowed members, especially the indomitable Freydis, daughter of Erik the Red.
Backhand of Justice/Extreme Reverse Pimp Slap of Ultimate Righteousness--This epic and humiliating maneuver of the good Captain's is self-explanatory, and has been recorded in use by Gilgamesh, Odin, King David, Leonidas, Ragnar Shaggy Breeches, John the Baptist, Boudicca, Andrew Jackson, Grigori Rasputin, and Lee Van Cleef.
When we regard the divine inspiration behind such moves as the Falcon Punch and the Knee of Justice, and do not neglect the epic intensity of such moves as the Nipple Thrust (Dair) and Backhand of Justice (Bair), we can see that Nintendo crafted Captain Falcon's moveset diligently and with all due regard to strict historical precedence and an ungodly amount of testosterone.
