I hate your character more than I hate any other character in this game, and when you think about how much I hate characters like Falco, Toon Link, Wario, Rob, and Pit, that's saying something.
It wouldn't be so bad if you guys would just accept some truths about your character, but Olimar players truly do make Olimar even more annoying.
Olimar players always say at least one, and usually more than one, of these statements WHICH ARE FALSE! And they don't just say them. They mean them. They swear them. They live their lives by them. Examples:
1) Boo hoo Olimar has noooooo priority.
FALSE!
Olimar gets stupid bull**** ******** gay desynchs for no reason. The reason that desynchs happen is because I do a move that I know will go through your move. But randomly, the pikmin kills me instead and Olimar takes no damage.
Also! Olimar's yellow pikmin have ridiculously good priority.
Also, Olimar's nair beats Peach's back air. Do you guys know how ******** that is? ********! There is just no reason for Peach's bair, which beats Wario's entire aerial moveset, to lose to ****ing stupid bull**** Olimar's bull**** ****ty no-range nair. Except of course, that your character has "no priority."
2) Olimar isn't even that gay.
FALSE!
Olimar IS that gay.
Olimar player: But Peach has bombs and swords which are way gayer. Talk about randomness! Plus have you seen Snake's tilts? Or the IC's infinite on everyone? Or MK's tornado or upB?
Me: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH okasdlkfhasihdflkasdkbudh!!!!!!!!!
3) Olimar has so much lag and his frame data is so terrible that we hide it from the world!
FALSE!
His moves are so ****ing fast! Usmash OOS. Oh and don't get me started on his "slow aerials." I don't care what the "actual" data is that you guys have found, you have added more frames so that the masses will think 'oh, Olimar is actually kinda a slow and laggy and punishable guy' and then people will play you and be like 'oh I can punish that move' and THEN THEY WILL DIE!! (you know, because your move came out faster, because, you know, Olimar's frame data isn't actually terrible and he's actually really really good).
4) Boo hoo Olimar gets juggled in the air, he falls so slow and his aerials are NOOOOO GOOOD for getting back to the ground.
FALSE!
Whistle you fools! Whistle is easily one of Olimar's gayest moves and that's saying something as Olimar has a plethora of ridiculously gay moves (grab, usmash, pivot grab, fsmash, PURPLES). Anyways Olimar has a perfectly safe way of getting to the ground in whistle. Or airdodge which is a fine and normal airdodge. Oh, and is it so bad that Olimar can be possibly hit at some point during the match?
Now, I know you guys will miss saying this stuff. But it will be better for you in the long run. More people will like you. And maybe someday, people will say "you know what, I think even though Olimar is probably the gayest character in the game, I think Ice Climbers might be a little gayer."
Here are some things you can say instead of your old false statements:
1) Yeah, Olimar is really ******** and gay and I'm a terrible person for using him and making you have to deal with this character.
2) Olimar's roll is really really bad and can be punished (this is actually a true complaint!)
3) Yeah I shouldn't complain about Olimar because he's so annoying, and I don't even feel like a winner for using him, because I've merely frustrated you, my kind and scholarly opponent, into losing. My skill as a player had nothing to do with your loss. I'm sorry.
4) LOLROFL I PLAI LOLLLLIMAR LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLL
Now repeat after me: We will not infract Nicole for this great post as it has brought joy to our dead and pathetic character discussion thread, and has brought us enlightenment and is probably the most worthwhile thread that has ever been here.
(if any of you think this is serious it's at least 51% a joke. i do hate olimar very much though.)
PS - try to think of responses to this that are at least a little creative instead of "Why u mad tho?" or pictures of salt packets or something. I worked very hard on this
It wouldn't be so bad if you guys would just accept some truths about your character, but Olimar players truly do make Olimar even more annoying.
I like pretty much all of you guys so don't think I have some secret hatred of you as people.
Olimar players always say at least one, and usually more than one, of these statements WHICH ARE FALSE! And they don't just say them. They mean them. They swear them. They live their lives by them. Examples:
1) Boo hoo Olimar has noooooo priority.
FALSE!
Olimar gets stupid bull**** ******** gay desynchs for no reason. The reason that desynchs happen is because I do a move that I know will go through your move. But randomly, the pikmin kills me instead and Olimar takes no damage.
Also! Olimar's yellow pikmin have ridiculously good priority.
Also, Olimar's nair beats Peach's back air. Do you guys know how ******** that is? ********! There is just no reason for Peach's bair, which beats Wario's entire aerial moveset, to lose to ****ing stupid bull**** Olimar's bull**** ****ty no-range nair. Except of course, that your character has "no priority."
2) Olimar isn't even that gay.
FALSE!
Olimar IS that gay.
Olimar player: But Peach has bombs and swords which are way gayer. Talk about randomness! Plus have you seen Snake's tilts? Or the IC's infinite on everyone? Or MK's tornado or upB?
Me: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH okasdlkfhasihdflkasdkbudh!!!!!!!!!
3) Olimar has so much lag and his frame data is so terrible that we hide it from the world!
FALSE!
His moves are so ****ing fast! Usmash OOS. Oh and don't get me started on his "slow aerials." I don't care what the "actual" data is that you guys have found, you have added more frames so that the masses will think 'oh, Olimar is actually kinda a slow and laggy and punishable guy' and then people will play you and be like 'oh I can punish that move' and THEN THEY WILL DIE!! (you know, because your move came out faster, because, you know, Olimar's frame data isn't actually terrible and he's actually really really good).
4) Boo hoo Olimar gets juggled in the air, he falls so slow and his aerials are NOOOOO GOOOD for getting back to the ground.
FALSE!
Whistle you fools! Whistle is easily one of Olimar's gayest moves and that's saying something as Olimar has a plethora of ridiculously gay moves (grab, usmash, pivot grab, fsmash, PURPLES). Anyways Olimar has a perfectly safe way of getting to the ground in whistle. Or airdodge which is a fine and normal airdodge. Oh, and is it so bad that Olimar can be possibly hit at some point during the match?
Now, I know you guys will miss saying this stuff. But it will be better for you in the long run. More people will like you. And maybe someday, people will say "you know what, I think even though Olimar is probably the gayest character in the game, I think Ice Climbers might be a little gayer."
Here are some things you can say instead of your old false statements:
1) Yeah, Olimar is really ******** and gay and I'm a terrible person for using him and making you have to deal with this character.
2) Olimar's roll is really really bad and can be punished (this is actually a true complaint!)
3) Yeah I shouldn't complain about Olimar because he's so annoying, and I don't even feel like a winner for using him, because I've merely frustrated you, my kind and scholarly opponent, into losing. My skill as a player had nothing to do with your loss. I'm sorry.
4) LOLROFL I PLAI LOLLLLIMAR LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLL
Now repeat after me: We will not infract Nicole for this great post as it has brought joy to our dead and pathetic character discussion thread, and has brought us enlightenment and is probably the most worthwhile thread that has ever been here.
(if any of you think this is serious it's at least 51% a joke. i do hate olimar very much though.)
PS - try to think of responses to this that are at least a little creative instead of "Why u mad tho?" or pictures of salt packets or something. I worked very hard on this
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