Two nights ago, I went to Otis' house to play Street Fighter III: 3rd Strike. As I walked in, everyone casually said, "Hi," to me, and I sat down. I was pretty content having a controller with two non-melted sticks. I figured that this would be an amazing night.
We started playing, and I could immediately see the gap between my skill and O-NO's. The horror started when he defeated me with Sean, scoring nearly a perfect win. I said, "Good game," to be friendly, and O-NO just nodded. Just as we started the next match, his cell phone rang.
Keeping one hand on the controller, he reached into his pocket with his free hand and answered his phone, all the while comboing me. I couldn't believe it--he was kicking my *** with one hand.
Blackheart Lee came over and saw what was happening. He laughed so hard at me. I had never been so humiliated in my life. I glanced over at the nearby GameCube. "Wtf are you looking over there for, Ether?" said O-NO. "This ain't smash, *****!"
I choked back tears and made an inaudible reply. "What's that, Ether?" he said. Blackheart Lee chimed in, "Haha, Ether's gonna cry!"
I couldn't let my fear get the best of me. I chose Ryu, and O-NO chose Makoto. He said, "I'll make this easy for you, Ether. This time, I'm not gonna block." Figuring I had him, I started the match with a jumping fierce kick. He parried it and launched a 0-to-death combo. By now, a crowd had gathered, and everyone was laughing at me.
I had to defend myself, so I thought of my best joke. "What's up with Makoto's hair?" Everyone got quiet. Little murmurs filled the room, like, "Wtf? Ha, what kind of joke?" "Is that the best he can do?" Then everyone laughed at me again.
O-NO got up from beside me and got in my face. "Who you gonna play now, Ether? Red Ken?" I was astonished because I was, in fact, planning on playing Red Ken. O-NO had his controller in front of him, like he was gonna play with his back to the screen and stare at me with his menacing eyes. "Go ahead and play Red Ken, Red Ken."
"What?" I asked. "My name's Ether."
"Whatever, Red Ken."
Otis chose Makoto, and the match started. I tried my best to look over Otis' head, but he kept getting in my face. "What are you looking at, Red Ken?" he said. I couldn't believe it, he was comboing me while his back was turned to the t.v. I tried the almighty Shoryuken, but all that was heard was "Sho" before O-NO hit me, saying, "Get that **** out of here, Red Ken!" I glanced at the controller port. I knew I had one last move in my arsenal, the Choke Cord. O-NO saw me and made a gesture in my face with his controller, saying, "You better not. I'll get to you before you get to me."
I had maybe a quarter of health left. I had not hit Otis once. I decided to throw out a flurry of standing and crouching jabs, praying for one or more of them to hit. By some epic miracle, one jab did connect to Makoto's face. Right then, the crowd got silent. The room was very still. Otis looked right at me and said very slowly, "Give....me...my....****ing...health...back!"
I could no longer hold back the tears. Hot white streams poured from my eyes. Sobbing, I told O-NO that I didn't know how to give him his health back. "Well, I'm gonna take it," was his reply. I looked up at the screen again, and I KID YOU NOT, his Makoto was at full health and my Ken had lost some health. He finished me off with a quick combo, and I just ran the hell out of there.
I will never, EVER play O-NO in SFIII: 3rd Strike again.
ugh.] We need to figure SOMETHING out.
