Matt
Banned via Administration
Sorry for the delay in making this topic. I've been at home and Internet access has been extremely limited. Also, I wanted to finish up a story to serve as a better example for exactly what I expect out of this mini edition of WWYP (and I just finished!). That's right, we're not quite on to WWYP4 yet because of delays (read: Scav), but that shouldn't stop us from doing a little somethin' somethin' in the meantime.
The prompt:
In UNDER 2500 words, you have until January 5th to write a story that completely captures the essence of a song of your choice. When making a topic, use the following format for the title:
[MINI-WWYP] Pollen and Salt
(click the link to read the story)
"Pollen and Salt" is a song by a band named Daphne Loves Derby, and the lyrics can be found here. As you can see, I split the story into three parts, each one focusing on the line in the stanza about "reds and blues and greens." Also obvious (and perhaps to a degree of corniness) is that I ended my story with the last line in the song. There is a consistent theme in the story of silence and longing, as suggested in the song, and I even referenced holding my breath metaphorically in more ways than one. These are just a few examples of the ways in which I tried to incoporate elements of the song into the narrative, but they should give you a good idea of the sort of thing the judges will be looking for.
For the judges' convenience, please tell us the name of the artist and provide a link to the song's lyrics in the same post containing your story. As always, signing up isn't necessary. Simply post a new topic to enter this contest.
Judging this MINI competition will be me, demoncaterpie, and Virgilijus. Just like in the past competitions, we will be giving you feedback to help you improve, and the first place winner will get to join the Smash Writers (orange name, feather icon).
--------------------------------
And the following are the judging categories and what is meant by each (total of 45 points; scoring regimen subject to change):
Adherence to Prompt - 10 pts
Matt - Simply put: if you follow the stipulations of the prompt appropriately, then you will be rewarded. Suppose the prompt calls for a protagonist with OCD. What you should do is make a point to show us that the character has OCD by making him adjust pictures on the wall in mid conversation or constantly trying to part his hair perfectly while wrestling an alligator. If your character just tucks in his shirt once and there are no other clear implications of his OCD, you will not be given many points. Let the prompt guide your story. Also, if your story does not fall within the designated word count, you will not earn as many points.
Scav - 1 means you didn't follow it at all. 3 means you had all the necessary work, but didn't expand on the prompt at all, or didnt use it in an interesting way. 5 means I wish I'd thought of that.
Spelling and Grammar - 5 pts
Matt - Use spell check, people! It saves lives.
Scav - It should be easy to get 5 points here. 5 means there were no spelling errors and no obviously incorrect grammar. Awkward phrasing is a style issue, so grammar involves stuff like tense changes, incorrect subject/verb agreement, etc. 3 means I always got what you meant, but had to do extra work because of mistakes.
Characterization - 10 pts
Matt - We're not asking for some super dynamic transformation from a short story character, but what we would like to see are characters who are well developed and believable. In general, avoid the three C's: corny clichéd conventions! The combination of all three is a killer.
Scav - 3 means the characters worked. They were solid archetypes or decently fleshed out, and I felt some amount of empathy. 5 means they were either fully unique, or I could really see them as a real member of our world.
Style - 15 pts
Matt - How creative are you? Is your story structured coherently? Is your plot the least bit interesting? What makes the events you're writing about immediate and interesting? This category is the sum of all things that makes your writing style unique and worthwhile. Style can make or break any writer, and it's the key component in a short story contest.
Scav - This is the most "x-factor" of the categories. It involves word choice, symbolism, plot structure, and the execution of imagery. How much "oomph" do the words have. This does not involve thematic elements so much as how the thematic elements are described.
Plot - 5 pts:
Matt - The important thing to remember about plot (and about good story writing in general) is that everything that happens must in some way relate to the central idea and carry the story forward in a manner that can only be described as compelling. Ask yourself about every single sentence and paragraph "Is this necessary?" The more your story speaks "necessity," the more points you'll get in the plot area.
Scav - The ostensible material of the story. How does the story carry you forward? Does it hold your interest? Plot structure is involved somewhat, though that is more of a style issue. Do the events of the story and the conflict of characters interest you? 3 means I would read the story again. 5 means I couldn't put it down. 3 times.
Theme - 5 pts:
Matt - Theme is very important, but more important than theme is subtlety. Don't preach, but don't muddle. And, in general, we're looking for meaning and subtext, not shallowness and banality.
Scav - The "aboutness" of the story. Sure, my story was about the ordeals of Matt as he was trapped inside an ever changing painting, with each and every painting ending with him getting sodomized by a mysterious figure. It was about how he escaped, only to realize it was someone painting his escape, and he is faced with a new blank canvas. But the story is about Matt's sexual repression, how he deals with it, and the lessons he must learn. It's about the lack of morals in his life before becoming trapped in the painting. I wrote the story because I wanted it to be about the rigors of anal sex. And Matt. 3 means it got me thinking. 5 means it kept me thinking, even after I fnished.
---------------------------------
The following are things I noticed (mistakes, weak points, confusions, things of that nature) in a number of the writer's stories. Many people lost points from me for style and spelling/grammar for these things, so take the following into consideration if you want to maximize your score (and if you just care about improving as a writer):
Tips from Matt
Improper Comma Usages
When two clauses are separated by a conjunction, there must be a comma. You could argue that omitting the comma is a matter of style, but I've read enough essays from my peers and younger writers to know that this mistake is repeated constantly in academic writing as well. Do you see what I did there? When I say "clauses" I'm referring to the fact that both sides of the sentence in question can be made into two complete sentences.
For example: "I bought a hooker, and my wife disapproved."
Also note that two cluases with the same subject don't need a comma, and often the subject is simply ommitted the second time.
For example: "Hookers are a tasty treat and (hookers) smell like bacon."
"Upon" instead of "On"
These two words mean almost the exact same thing, however, using "upon" in every single instance instead of "on" makes you look just plain full of yourself. This isn't even a matter of British vs. American english, it's just a matter of blanantly attempting to sound more intelligent by adding two letters that aren't necessary. Also, grammatically, you cannot use "upon" to mean "on" in every case. When talking about a relationship between two things, "upon" cannot be used.
For example: "Give me all the money on (never "upon") the counter or else granny here will taste hot lead."
Simple Proofreading
I shouldn't even have to say this, but the amount of confusion between words like "their," "they're, and "there" and between "its" and "it's" is astounding. The fact is that we know the differences; it's just easy to make the mistakes and not even notice them ourselves. Whatever you're writing and for whatever purpose, have someone else proofread. You'll be surprised at all the mistakes you missed. Don't feel bad about it, because the vast majority of writers are in the same boat. Is it any wonder why editors are so well paid?
The Moment Before
Most writers do have a sense of immenence. Just look at today's entertainment and how fast-paced and thrilling and OH MY GOD everything's about to EXPLODE and we have TEN SECONDS before we shoot this hostage! That's entertaining enough, however, good storytelling paints a believable image of the "moment before." No, that doesn't mean expository exactly; it just means justifying why your characters are in the position that they are and why what's going on is important now. Young writers tend to forget the importance of this step, and consequently fail to answer the following very important question: "What are they Fighting For?"
Lack of Subtlety in the Theme
Young writers seem to have this notion that they are possessors of all the world's greatest wisdom and that their works will change the world. As we get older and truly wiser, we learn a little thing called tact and, more importantly, subtlety. It's great to have beliefs, but please don't preach them. Never make it abundantly clear what the message is, because then the entire experience is cheapened. The best themes creep up on you after you've finished reading, not in a philosophical paragraph from the writer's perspective. You'll find that there's a "theme" inherant to everything in life, and in most cases you may never be certain what that theme is. Mystery is alluring, no?
Corny Dialogue
Most young writers will use their characters as blatant allegories for the theme, and this yields itself to some corny dialogue. Say the dialogue aloud to yourself. Does it sound natural? Does it sound like you could have this conversation with someone? Are your dialogues overly dramatic and too philosphical? If you want an example of corny dialogue, see anime. Especially if your story is modern and contemporary, your dialogue has to be at least remotely recognizable as today's speech.
Excessive Adjectives and Adverbs
In just about every single piece of literature I've read from young writers, I see excessive modifiers. Particularly, I see everything action described with "slightly" or "slowly." Think to yourself before using any of these types of words: does it really enhance the story? Does it even enhance the word all that much? I'm not saying minimalism is the only way to write, but it certainly beats being told precisely what to make of every description without imagining for yourself what to make of them.
Ambiguous Pronouns
In trying to immerse your reader into the story, the last thing you want to do is make them stop and wonder who or what your pronouns are referring to. Take the following two sentences as an example of ambiguous pronouns: "The two men went to the club and ordered some drinks for a couple of hot babes. They were juicy and delicious." Who does "they" refer to? The men? The drinks? The women? You have to be clear with your pronouns, or don't give your sentences so many subjects. Conversely, not using pronouns at all creates redundancy, and that turns away readers, too.
Good luck!
The prompt:
In UNDER 2500 words, you have until January 5th to write a story that completely captures the essence of a song of your choice. When making a topic, use the following format for the title:
[MINI-WWYP] Pollen and Salt
(click the link to read the story)
"Pollen and Salt" is a song by a band named Daphne Loves Derby, and the lyrics can be found here. As you can see, I split the story into three parts, each one focusing on the line in the stanza about "reds and blues and greens." Also obvious (and perhaps to a degree of corniness) is that I ended my story with the last line in the song. There is a consistent theme in the story of silence and longing, as suggested in the song, and I even referenced holding my breath metaphorically in more ways than one. These are just a few examples of the ways in which I tried to incoporate elements of the song into the narrative, but they should give you a good idea of the sort of thing the judges will be looking for.
For the judges' convenience, please tell us the name of the artist and provide a link to the song's lyrics in the same post containing your story. As always, signing up isn't necessary. Simply post a new topic to enter this contest.
Judging this MINI competition will be me, demoncaterpie, and Virgilijus. Just like in the past competitions, we will be giving you feedback to help you improve, and the first place winner will get to join the Smash Writers (orange name, feather icon).
--------------------------------
And the following are the judging categories and what is meant by each (total of 45 points; scoring regimen subject to change):
Adherence to Prompt - 10 pts
Matt - Simply put: if you follow the stipulations of the prompt appropriately, then you will be rewarded. Suppose the prompt calls for a protagonist with OCD. What you should do is make a point to show us that the character has OCD by making him adjust pictures on the wall in mid conversation or constantly trying to part his hair perfectly while wrestling an alligator. If your character just tucks in his shirt once and there are no other clear implications of his OCD, you will not be given many points. Let the prompt guide your story. Also, if your story does not fall within the designated word count, you will not earn as many points.
Scav - 1 means you didn't follow it at all. 3 means you had all the necessary work, but didn't expand on the prompt at all, or didnt use it in an interesting way. 5 means I wish I'd thought of that.
Spelling and Grammar - 5 pts
Matt - Use spell check, people! It saves lives.
Scav - It should be easy to get 5 points here. 5 means there were no spelling errors and no obviously incorrect grammar. Awkward phrasing is a style issue, so grammar involves stuff like tense changes, incorrect subject/verb agreement, etc. 3 means I always got what you meant, but had to do extra work because of mistakes.
Characterization - 10 pts
Matt - We're not asking for some super dynamic transformation from a short story character, but what we would like to see are characters who are well developed and believable. In general, avoid the three C's: corny clichéd conventions! The combination of all three is a killer.
Scav - 3 means the characters worked. They were solid archetypes or decently fleshed out, and I felt some amount of empathy. 5 means they were either fully unique, or I could really see them as a real member of our world.
Style - 15 pts
Matt - How creative are you? Is your story structured coherently? Is your plot the least bit interesting? What makes the events you're writing about immediate and interesting? This category is the sum of all things that makes your writing style unique and worthwhile. Style can make or break any writer, and it's the key component in a short story contest.
Scav - This is the most "x-factor" of the categories. It involves word choice, symbolism, plot structure, and the execution of imagery. How much "oomph" do the words have. This does not involve thematic elements so much as how the thematic elements are described.
Plot - 5 pts:
Matt - The important thing to remember about plot (and about good story writing in general) is that everything that happens must in some way relate to the central idea and carry the story forward in a manner that can only be described as compelling. Ask yourself about every single sentence and paragraph "Is this necessary?" The more your story speaks "necessity," the more points you'll get in the plot area.
Scav - The ostensible material of the story. How does the story carry you forward? Does it hold your interest? Plot structure is involved somewhat, though that is more of a style issue. Do the events of the story and the conflict of characters interest you? 3 means I would read the story again. 5 means I couldn't put it down. 3 times.
Theme - 5 pts:
Matt - Theme is very important, but more important than theme is subtlety. Don't preach, but don't muddle. And, in general, we're looking for meaning and subtext, not shallowness and banality.
Scav - The "aboutness" of the story. Sure, my story was about the ordeals of Matt as he was trapped inside an ever changing painting, with each and every painting ending with him getting sodomized by a mysterious figure. It was about how he escaped, only to realize it was someone painting his escape, and he is faced with a new blank canvas. But the story is about Matt's sexual repression, how he deals with it, and the lessons he must learn. It's about the lack of morals in his life before becoming trapped in the painting. I wrote the story because I wanted it to be about the rigors of anal sex. And Matt. 3 means it got me thinking. 5 means it kept me thinking, even after I fnished.
---------------------------------
The following are things I noticed (mistakes, weak points, confusions, things of that nature) in a number of the writer's stories. Many people lost points from me for style and spelling/grammar for these things, so take the following into consideration if you want to maximize your score (and if you just care about improving as a writer):
Tips from Matt
When two clauses are separated by a conjunction, there must be a comma. You could argue that omitting the comma is a matter of style, but I've read enough essays from my peers and younger writers to know that this mistake is repeated constantly in academic writing as well. Do you see what I did there? When I say "clauses" I'm referring to the fact that both sides of the sentence in question can be made into two complete sentences.
For example: "I bought a hooker, and my wife disapproved."
Also note that two cluases with the same subject don't need a comma, and often the subject is simply ommitted the second time.
For example: "Hookers are a tasty treat and (hookers) smell like bacon."
These two words mean almost the exact same thing, however, using "upon" in every single instance instead of "on" makes you look just plain full of yourself. This isn't even a matter of British vs. American english, it's just a matter of blanantly attempting to sound more intelligent by adding two letters that aren't necessary. Also, grammatically, you cannot use "upon" to mean "on" in every case. When talking about a relationship between two things, "upon" cannot be used.
For example: "Give me all the money on (never "upon") the counter or else granny here will taste hot lead."
I shouldn't even have to say this, but the amount of confusion between words like "their," "they're, and "there" and between "its" and "it's" is astounding. The fact is that we know the differences; it's just easy to make the mistakes and not even notice them ourselves. Whatever you're writing and for whatever purpose, have someone else proofread. You'll be surprised at all the mistakes you missed. Don't feel bad about it, because the vast majority of writers are in the same boat. Is it any wonder why editors are so well paid?
Most writers do have a sense of immenence. Just look at today's entertainment and how fast-paced and thrilling and OH MY GOD everything's about to EXPLODE and we have TEN SECONDS before we shoot this hostage! That's entertaining enough, however, good storytelling paints a believable image of the "moment before." No, that doesn't mean expository exactly; it just means justifying why your characters are in the position that they are and why what's going on is important now. Young writers tend to forget the importance of this step, and consequently fail to answer the following very important question: "What are they Fighting For?"
Young writers seem to have this notion that they are possessors of all the world's greatest wisdom and that their works will change the world. As we get older and truly wiser, we learn a little thing called tact and, more importantly, subtlety. It's great to have beliefs, but please don't preach them. Never make it abundantly clear what the message is, because then the entire experience is cheapened. The best themes creep up on you after you've finished reading, not in a philosophical paragraph from the writer's perspective. You'll find that there's a "theme" inherant to everything in life, and in most cases you may never be certain what that theme is. Mystery is alluring, no?
Most young writers will use their characters as blatant allegories for the theme, and this yields itself to some corny dialogue. Say the dialogue aloud to yourself. Does it sound natural? Does it sound like you could have this conversation with someone? Are your dialogues overly dramatic and too philosphical? If you want an example of corny dialogue, see anime. Especially if your story is modern and contemporary, your dialogue has to be at least remotely recognizable as today's speech.
In just about every single piece of literature I've read from young writers, I see excessive modifiers. Particularly, I see everything action described with "slightly" or "slowly." Think to yourself before using any of these types of words: does it really enhance the story? Does it even enhance the word all that much? I'm not saying minimalism is the only way to write, but it certainly beats being told precisely what to make of every description without imagining for yourself what to make of them.
In trying to immerse your reader into the story, the last thing you want to do is make them stop and wonder who or what your pronouns are referring to. Take the following two sentences as an example of ambiguous pronouns: "The two men went to the club and ordered some drinks for a couple of hot babes. They were juicy and delicious." Who does "they" refer to? The men? The drinks? The women? You have to be clear with your pronouns, or don't give your sentences so many subjects. Conversely, not using pronouns at all creates redundancy, and that turns away readers, too.
Good luck!
