camelot
Smash Ace
Hey. I think it's about time I showed my face on here again.
In case you don't know who I am, here's a little history lesson for you about myself and the start of P:M -
I'm a former member of the Smash Workshop and the Project: M team, my actual title having been "Lead Character Designer" for P:M. Even though that was my title, I did do quite a bit more than just character-related stuff, though.
I joined the P:M team about 5 years ago, back when the team basically consisted of a few rogue/dissatisfied Brawl+ devs, and the project hadn't been publicly revealed yet (or possibly even had a name yet). Development remained in secret for a few months, because (at the time) so many people who had gotten into B+ would see it as a sort of betrayal against this newly established vision on what a competitive Brawl mod should be. Needless to say, though, P:M turned out to be what everybody wanted the entire time!
Shanus gave me my "lucky break" into the Brawl modding community after I won over his heart (I guess) with a Melee version of Captain Falcon, which was the first "Melee-ified" character done for P:M (naturally!). Some pretty major-league crap, considering pretty much all I had done before that was stalk the B+ thread, cataloging every "breakthrough" that made Brawl modding in general evolve. Like removing the momentum cap, which was like landing on the friggin' moon.
Long story short, I, along with some others (Shanus, SHeLL, and jiang come to mind), did reworks for the characters that weren't up to snuff compared to the Melee top-tiers. In general, we liked to make characters more fun to use. Sometimes it was to make them better fit a Melee-like environment, sometimes it was for "style points". Does Ike need to be able to walljump from his side-B? Ehh, probably not, but I added it anyway. 'Cause it's fun. Balance is important, but fun is more important. I stressed that all the time. (That's why I started hating B+ near the end of its development; even once new tools like Smash Attacks were available, the devs were so intent on balance that they restricted their freedom and ability to make stuff cool)
I in particular also liked fixing really trivial crap. I painstakingly changed about a million slightly misplaced sound and graphic effects on characters, and smoothened out quite a few animations in order to fit combat flow just the tiniest bit more. All of those little extra details just made the development process and the final game product that much more enjoyable to me (and others, I hope!).
----------
Now then, for those who do know who I am -
You'd probably like to know why I just disappeared without warning about 3 years ago. And, well... I have a few reasons, but I honestly don't think they excuse what I did, and I can't just simply apologize for it. I'll at least try to explain myself, though.
So, first off: after college started, I stopped doing anything related to Brawl or P:M, including coming to SmashBoards or visiting the IRC. After I moved to a rental house and classes started, I had plenty of free time, and I brought my Wii with me, so I definitely would have been able to continue working on P:M. Even if I wasn't able to, or simply didn't want to, though, that's no excuse for me just quitting without telling anyone! Telling someone was the absolute least I could have done.
At one point, during high school, I recall saying on the IRC that working on P:M eventually felt like working a job, which I didn't like the idea of. I phased out of that mindset within about a month, and started working on P:M again, but the feeling ended up coming back.
Another thing is - and I don't think I expressed this very well - I poorly handled criticism in general. Having even a single bad thing be said about P:M was extremely discouraging! On top of that, I had some serious anxiety issues, and I wasn't very able to filter criticism, either. The idea of "vocal minority" hadn't occurred to me yet, so you can imagine how that was inside the Smash Bros. community, of all things. My ability to give criticism probably could have used some work, too - I was also guilty of being a complete butthead on occasion.
Last, and somewhat related to the above point, I think I just got really tired of the way a lot of Smashers acted, mostly in the Brawl forums. Possibly a vocal minority thing again, but man, if you've seen the competitive Brawl forums back around '09-'11 (I don't know if it's changed since then, but I kind of doubt it), you'll immediately understand. I wasn't having any of that.
Basically, the culmination of all those things made P:M not feel like a hobby anymore, and I also had absolutely nobody to actually play the game with. That's when I straight-up abandoned everything Smash-related. And I just now realized what a big mistake I made.
Now, I can't go a single day without thinking about P:M and the team again. Seriously, you guys were probably my best friends throughout high school. Everyone who was committed to the project at the time (and maybe still are) - Shanus, SHeLL, StrongBad, Magus, jiang, standardtoaster, Shadic, JCaesar, GHNeko, WindOwl, BadGuy, TSON, and more (if I forgot you, sorry) - you all kept me motivated. This might sound really stupid, but if I never started working on P:M and never met any of you, I probably wouldn't have finished high school.
Abandoning everyone after all that and after all we accomplished with P:M, without any warning whatsoever, makes me feel like the biggest jack*ss in the world. You have no idea how difficult it was for me to post this. I squandered my opportunity to keep on contributing to one of the greatest game mods of all time.
Lately, I've been checking out some of the more recent P:M stuff, and I have to say... P:M has seriously turned into something incredible. So much time and talent has been devoted to this one mod, it's crazy. You guys are great. Keep on truckin'.
Honestly, I'm not really looking to join the P:M team again. I just thought it was necessary to come in and say that yes, I am alive, and I'm hoping you can forgive me. But if you don't, I totally understand.
Also, maybe I'm being overly serious and dramatic, but I don't really care, I just thought this had to be said.
So, see you around, maybe. (Before Brawl's WiFi service ends, Smash 4 comes out, and Michael Jackson joins the Smash 4 roster)
(One more thing - I have no idea if this was the right place to post this. Hopefully, it was)
TL;DR - just read it you lazy bestige
In case you don't know who I am, here's a little history lesson for you about myself and the start of P:M -
I'm a former member of the Smash Workshop and the Project: M team, my actual title having been "Lead Character Designer" for P:M. Even though that was my title, I did do quite a bit more than just character-related stuff, though.
I joined the P:M team about 5 years ago, back when the team basically consisted of a few rogue/dissatisfied Brawl+ devs, and the project hadn't been publicly revealed yet (or possibly even had a name yet). Development remained in secret for a few months, because (at the time) so many people who had gotten into B+ would see it as a sort of betrayal against this newly established vision on what a competitive Brawl mod should be. Needless to say, though, P:M turned out to be what everybody wanted the entire time!
Shanus gave me my "lucky break" into the Brawl modding community after I won over his heart (I guess) with a Melee version of Captain Falcon, which was the first "Melee-ified" character done for P:M (naturally!). Some pretty major-league crap, considering pretty much all I had done before that was stalk the B+ thread, cataloging every "breakthrough" that made Brawl modding in general evolve. Like removing the momentum cap, which was like landing on the friggin' moon.
Long story short, I, along with some others (Shanus, SHeLL, and jiang come to mind), did reworks for the characters that weren't up to snuff compared to the Melee top-tiers. In general, we liked to make characters more fun to use. Sometimes it was to make them better fit a Melee-like environment, sometimes it was for "style points". Does Ike need to be able to walljump from his side-B? Ehh, probably not, but I added it anyway. 'Cause it's fun. Balance is important, but fun is more important. I stressed that all the time. (That's why I started hating B+ near the end of its development; even once new tools like Smash Attacks were available, the devs were so intent on balance that they restricted their freedom and ability to make stuff cool)
I in particular also liked fixing really trivial crap. I painstakingly changed about a million slightly misplaced sound and graphic effects on characters, and smoothened out quite a few animations in order to fit combat flow just the tiniest bit more. All of those little extra details just made the development process and the final game product that much more enjoyable to me (and others, I hope!).
----------
Now then, for those who do know who I am -
You'd probably like to know why I just disappeared without warning about 3 years ago. And, well... I have a few reasons, but I honestly don't think they excuse what I did, and I can't just simply apologize for it. I'll at least try to explain myself, though.
So, first off: after college started, I stopped doing anything related to Brawl or P:M, including coming to SmashBoards or visiting the IRC. After I moved to a rental house and classes started, I had plenty of free time, and I brought my Wii with me, so I definitely would have been able to continue working on P:M. Even if I wasn't able to, or simply didn't want to, though, that's no excuse for me just quitting without telling anyone! Telling someone was the absolute least I could have done.
At one point, during high school, I recall saying on the IRC that working on P:M eventually felt like working a job, which I didn't like the idea of. I phased out of that mindset within about a month, and started working on P:M again, but the feeling ended up coming back.
Another thing is - and I don't think I expressed this very well - I poorly handled criticism in general. Having even a single bad thing be said about P:M was extremely discouraging! On top of that, I had some serious anxiety issues, and I wasn't very able to filter criticism, either. The idea of "vocal minority" hadn't occurred to me yet, so you can imagine how that was inside the Smash Bros. community, of all things. My ability to give criticism probably could have used some work, too - I was also guilty of being a complete butthead on occasion.
Last, and somewhat related to the above point, I think I just got really tired of the way a lot of Smashers acted, mostly in the Brawl forums. Possibly a vocal minority thing again, but man, if you've seen the competitive Brawl forums back around '09-'11 (I don't know if it's changed since then, but I kind of doubt it), you'll immediately understand. I wasn't having any of that.
Basically, the culmination of all those things made P:M not feel like a hobby anymore, and I also had absolutely nobody to actually play the game with. That's when I straight-up abandoned everything Smash-related. And I just now realized what a big mistake I made.
Now, I can't go a single day without thinking about P:M and the team again. Seriously, you guys were probably my best friends throughout high school. Everyone who was committed to the project at the time (and maybe still are) - Shanus, SHeLL, StrongBad, Magus, jiang, standardtoaster, Shadic, JCaesar, GHNeko, WindOwl, BadGuy, TSON, and more (if I forgot you, sorry) - you all kept me motivated. This might sound really stupid, but if I never started working on P:M and never met any of you, I probably wouldn't have finished high school.
Abandoning everyone after all that and after all we accomplished with P:M, without any warning whatsoever, makes me feel like the biggest jack*ss in the world. You have no idea how difficult it was for me to post this. I squandered my opportunity to keep on contributing to one of the greatest game mods of all time.
Lately, I've been checking out some of the more recent P:M stuff, and I have to say... P:M has seriously turned into something incredible. So much time and talent has been devoted to this one mod, it's crazy. You guys are great. Keep on truckin'.
Honestly, I'm not really looking to join the P:M team again. I just thought it was necessary to come in and say that yes, I am alive, and I'm hoping you can forgive me. But if you don't, I totally understand.
Also, maybe I'm being overly serious and dramatic, but I don't really care, I just thought this had to be said.
So, see you around, maybe. (Before Brawl's WiFi service ends, Smash 4 comes out, and Michael Jackson joins the Smash 4 roster)
(One more thing - I have no idea if this was the right place to post this. Hopefully, it was)
TL;DR - just read it you lazy bestige
