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best johns ever!!!

KoNfucius

Smash Ace
Joined
May 16, 2010
Messages
774
Location
under the sun
ok today i was playing online when this little fly bee or wasp thing was flying around my head no big deal right then all of a sudden it landed on my arm and bit me. my arm is burning from the bite i stop to smack it off and got up smashed for game lol


can anyone top my john? or at least give a funny john story.
 

Zatchiel

a little slice of heaven 🍰
Joined
May 27, 2009
Messages
11,088
Location
Georgia
NNID
Zatchiel
Switch FC
SW-0915-4119-3504
Best john, one time, when i was on wifi, there was this thing called lag.
 

PolarBear

Smash Journeyman
Joined
Jan 7, 2009
Messages
246
Location
Spiking lightweights, NJ
I was playing with these scrub kids at school and edge hogged them, not even purposely, and they were johning about if I didn't go and cheat like that they would have won.
 

KoNfucius

Smash Ace
Joined
May 16, 2010
Messages
774
Location
under the sun
I was playing with these scrub kids at school and edge hogged them, not even purposely, and they were johning about if I didn't go and cheat like that they would have won.
lol i once had a kid politely ask me to stop edge guarding his recovery because "thats not fair" i told him to feel free to do it in return "cause thats how big boys play".
 

Yung Mei

Where all da hot anime moms at
Joined
Jul 20, 2009
Messages
5,341
someone in the melee boards said "the rain outside was distracting me"


the other day i got a texture for Halberd and there were parts that looked like grass on the big *** ship.

i lost focus, and right after i got a stock knocked off (without even realizing it), i said, "the ****, is that grass?"



the grass on the stage was distracting me
 
D

Deleted member

Guest
i think one of the best i heard was " you got lucky." yeah, i got lucky 4 times in a row.
 

WB40

Smash Apprentice
Joined
May 28, 2010
Messages
78
Location
A world of my own
"I would have won if you didn't play Ike"
I change to Fox.
"I would have won if you didn't spam"
I never pressed B the whole game.

Just goes to show about the whiny kids that play SSBB...

And a john that I use?

"You hacked Meta Knights moveset into your character."
 

Rayku

Smash Lord
Joined
Feb 21, 2004
Messages
1,832
Location
Minot, ND
Player-1 from Player 1
Match Rating: 5.0
Sat 18 Apr 2009, 8:57 PM EDT
ggs, I played so **** terrible, I haven't played that bad in forever...I did really stupid mistakes like trying to edgeguard marth and ended up being gimped at 60% for it and other crap. but ggs, you punished my stupid mistakes

Player-1 from Player 1
Match Rating: 5.0
Sat 18 Apr 2009, 10:17 PM EDT
lolBrawl

Player-1 from Player 1
Match Rating: 5.0
Sat 18 Apr 2009, 11:28 AM EDT
ggs, I knew i shouldn't have started the day playing off a ranked match, should have warmed up first because i played terribly

Player-1 from Player 1
Match Rating: 5.0
Wed 15 Apr 2009, 9:24 PM EDT
Great games, he ***** me both times at the beginning then I started having some comebacks. He lives to like 190% each time

Player-1 from Player 1
Match Rating: 5.0
Tue 14 Apr 2009, 6:46 PM EDT
he destroyed me. GGs, played horribly those games though =(

Player-1 from Player 1
Match Rating: 5.0
Mon 13 Apr 2009, 2:30 PM EDT
yeah dittos are gay, especially diddy dittos, and even more so over wifi, and then even gayer when you were my first game I played in almost a week =/. great diddy though

Player-1 from Player 1
Match Rating: 1.0
Mon 6 Apr 2009, 11:19 PM EDT
I asked him to cancel our matches because they were too laggy after we were 1-1 yet he didn't even though he knew they were laggy, and he just went GaW and spammed bair. Horrible sportsmanship, should have won 2nd match but i SDed because of how lagg

Player-1 from Player 1
Match Rating: 5.0
Mon 6 Apr 2009, 4:24 PM EDT
ggs, best connection I think we've had, except the 3rd game had a lot of button delay randomly.

Player-1 from Player 1
Match Rating: 1.0
Fri 3 Apr 2009, 11:19 PM EDT
Wow...2 red connections in a row and I lose both of them purely because of the horrible connection. Fix your **** dial up connection (yes he is the one causing the lag, it says on his profile he uses dial up connection). I SDed twice because of how horrib

Player-1 from Player 1
Match Rating: 4.0
Fri 3 Apr 2009, 9:26 PM EDT
ggs, REALLY laggy, red connection lag screwed me over soooo much those games

Player-1 from Player 1
Match Rating: 4.0
Fri 3 Apr 2009, 2:11 PM EDT
Battlefield was the luckiest **** I've ever seen in my life...

Player-1 from Player 1
Match Rating: 5.0
Thu 2 Apr 2009, 11:39 PM EDT
ggs, I have no idea what that last kill was...I just automatically Nair and die...and i feel like a ******* after the first game's last kill, I had you, and could have ended it right there but for some reason my character doesn't want to jump

Player-1 from Player 1
Match Rating: 5.0
Fri 3 Apr 2009, 12:30 AM EDT
GG, thought I had you when you SDed but then you did that mortar stage spike, didn't know that could work like that

Player-1 from Player 1
Match Rating: 5.0
Thu 2 Apr 2009, 5:31 PM EDT
ggs, good Olimar. Still really laggy, causes me to miss several instant throws and I get punished by it with purple pikmin Usmashes. Supposebly he has good connecection on his side, but my connection is horrible with him

Player-1 from Player 1
Match Rating: 5.0
Tue 31 Mar 2009, 5:28 PM EDT
GGs great D3 goot **** at Gigs. Sometimes i think footstooling is gayer than tripping =/. Coulda had you on FD but I meant to Dsmash instead of Fsmash, but my body was shaking from it being so close. GGs

Player-1 from Player 1
Match Rating: 5.0
Mon 30 Mar 2009, 6:38 PM EDT
Great games, stage hax Lylat then Battlefield then Yoshi's where's all the flat stages? Can't believe I didn't stall the barrels that last kill, don't know what i was thinking there

Player-1 from Player 1
Match Rating: 5.0
Sun 29 Mar 2009, 7:53 PM EDT
Good Olimar, although the games were incredibly laggy and I SD in the middle of the match when I had a big lead because the game likes to take away midair jumps, which was just probably more lag

Player-1 from Player 1
Match Rating: 5.0
Thu 26 Mar 2009, 6:15 PM EDT
GGs, nice Pit. Seemed like as the matches went on the lag got worse, seemed to start with green connection on the first match and then as the matches progressed half my buttons were't being inputted by the 3rd game

Player-1 from Player 1
Match Rating: 5.0
Sat 21 Mar 2009, 12:53 AM EDT
Don't be sorry, but we should get it cancelled, and if we don't then don't giving me the win, it's my fault for not showing up.

Player-1 from Player 1
Match Rating: 5.0
Fri 20 Mar 2009, 7:39 PM EDT
GGs, I played like **** those matches I kept running into your thunders and fsmashes and gimped during your thunderjolt, then my parent came into my room and I SDed right when i spawned on FD =/

Player-1 from Player 1
Match Rating: 3.0
Fri 20 Mar 2009, 5:37 PM EDT
Next time choose the right stages so we don't have to make the matches last 15 more minutes than they should...

Player-1 from Player 1
Match Rating: 4.0
Sat 14 Mar 2009, 10:46 PM EDT
It'd be awesome if my aerials got a hitbox instead of them doing nothing to you except for running into fully charged Usmashes

Player-1 from Player 1
Match Rating: 5.0
Sat 14 Mar 2009, 10:33 PM EDT
ggs, matches would have been more fun if the lag was not so horrible that 2nd game making me sd at 60%

Player-1 from Player 1
Match Rating: 5.0
Sat 7 Mar 2009, 4:20 PM EST
ggs, hate being sick =(

Player-1 from Player 1
Match Rating: 1.0
Wed 4 Mar 2009, 3:25 PM EST
Chose wrong stages, camped ledges at low % damage and just tried to get the lucky TL dsmash, complete nightmare that I didn't even feel llike kicking this guys *** with Diddy so I just played random characters instead vs.
Blacle from Clan-X-
Match Rating: 5.0
Wed 4 Mar 2009, 3:24 PM EST
u have a good mario, keep useing him bro

Player-1 from Player 1
Match Rating: 2.0
Fri 27 Feb 2009, 5:19 PM EST
I find it VERy suspicious that the 5 frames per second lag only started happening after I spiked you at 30% damage. The lag + PS1 ledges screwed up my recovery and made me SD twice. not a very good player, shouldn't have won.

Player-1 from Player 1
Match Rating: 1.0
Fri 20 Feb 2009, 6:04 PM EST
'Standard MK' planking, stalling, tornado spamming, the works. Didn't have fun at all. Deserves a 0

Player-1 from Player 1
Match Rating: 5.0
Wed 18 Feb 2009, 6:46 PM EST
I suck.

Player-1 from Player 1
Match Rating: 3.0
Thu 12 Feb 2009, 4:54 PM EST
Honestly, not that good of a Snake especially when I beat him without using any bananas, and I find it VERY suspicious that every time you were losing it started to lag horribly...like...a few frames per second lag, it made me SD twice. Very lucky

Player-1 from Player 1
Match Rating: 1.0
Sun 18 Jan 2009, 8:20 PM EST
Hypocrite

Player-1 from Player 1
Match Rating: 4.0
Thu 15 Jan 2009, 4:32 PM EST
GG, really lucky first match and then kciked my *** on RC. I'm cool with spam, it's part of brawl, but when you complain about it and give me 1 feedbacks when I do and then do it yourself, you're being a hypocrite.

Player-1 from Player 1
Match Rating: 5.0
Fri 9 Jan 2009, 9:23 PM EST
GG, I thought i had you both times at the end >.> intense, as soon as I saw that shield come up on YI, I knew you knew what I was going to do but I did it anyway >=(

Player-1 from Player 1
Match Rating: 5.0
Tue 6 Jan 2009, 5:24 PM EST
GG. Although, I never have fun when versing Canadians, waaaay to`

Player-1 from Player 1
Match Rating: 5.0
Mon 5 Jan 2009, 6:18 PM EST
GG, except for the lag. Twice when I was recovering I side b'd and a lag spike happened and made me do the kick, and that very last kill. It lagged and froze the whole screen up and we were doing like 2 frames a second and he just Usmashed me

Player-1 from Player 1
Match Rating: 5.0
Mon 5 Jan 2009, 3:52 PM EST
GG. My only problem is that you refused to play PS1 even though it's gay, but we made a deal so fine I guess. Great Wario

Player-1 from Player 1
Match Rating: 3.0
Mon 5 Jan 2009, 3:14 PM EST
He wasn't very fun to play against. The match i won he just gave up and SD. Just not a fun opponent.

Player-1 from Player 1
Match Rating: 5.0
Sun 4 Jan 2009, 9:32 PM EST
I wasn't stalling our match. Some ******* on AiB i had a match with left after the first game, so I reported I won and accepted your match and then he came back asking to finish. I had YI won until lag happened and I SD twice below 35% damage because

Player-1 from Player 1
Match Rating: 5.0
Sun 4 Jan 2009, 7:25 PM EST
GG, nice Wolf again. I 2 stocked him first game, then he returned the favor XD. YI lag was really weird >.>, I always have weird connections with Texans for some reason, I'll have green one day then the next orange.

Player-1 from Player 1
Match Rating: 5.0
Fri 2 Jan 2009, 2:00 AM EST
GG, bad play by me ketting you live to 200% with Snake and then to 160. Good comeback at the end (at least I can be the bigger man and say GG unlike you who always gives me bad feedback when you lose). vs.
SilverDoc from HailStorm
Match Rating: 1.0
Fri 2 Jan 2009, 2:02 AM EST
I don't give a **** how much of a man you think you are you gave me 3 1 star ratings in a row, suck my **** you banana *****.

Player-1 from Player 1
Match Rating: 3.0
Thu 1 Jan 2009, 10:47 PM EST
**** brawl and it's dumb *** glitches. I fall through the whole entire stage when it changed. Decent Snake and G&W, just wouldn't have won if not for that stupid stage glitch.

Player-1 from Player 1
Match Rating: 5.0
Thu 18 Dec 2008, 5:31 PM EST
GG except for the, as usual, ****ty connection. I would have had FD easily for it. Last kill I'm falling and I'm pressing jump/up-b a million times and nothing happens...

Player-1 from Player 1
Match Rating: 5.0
Wed 31 Dec 2008, 12:27 AM EST
Mekos is Back =D. GG, except for the orange-red connection lag (we even DCed), I swear it's impossible to get past pk fire in that kind of connection

Player-1 from Player 1
Match Rating: 3.0
Tue 16 Dec 2008, 4:47 PM EST
GG, except for the ledge stalling you did. In case you didn't know that's agianst the rules, but lucky for you I didn't record. Wouldn't have won if I hadn't SD 2nd game

Player-1 from Player 1
Match Rating: 3.0
Mon 15 Dec 2008, 7:20 PM EST
GG, until you started abusing the lag we had by spamming like a scrub. Wouldn't have won if I didn't SD at 40% damage 2nd game and I would have killed him in the process, but red connection lag sucks

Player-1 from Player 1
Match Rating: 5.0
Mon 15 Dec 2008, 7:01 PM EST
Wow...I feel like such a ******* after the first stock of both games. GG I guess aside from the horrible button delay

Player-1 from Player 1
Match Rating: 1.0
Mon 15 Dec 2008, 6:46 PM EST
Wow...you say I spam bananas? You're a ****ing hypocrite

Player-1 from Player 1
Match Rating: 1.0
Sun 19 Apr 2009, 9:11 PM EDT
Wow, this ****ing scrub doesn't need to be playing ****ing wifi, the game was so ****ing laggy, get your god **** connection fix you ****ing ****. Anyone who reads this look at the rest of his feedback and everyone complains how this guy lags, gtfo o

Player-1 from Player 1
Match Rating: 5.0
Thu 4 Dec 2008, 5:17 PM EST
BS SD on YI...I pass right by the ledge and don't grab it when I barrel boost at 0% damage, and then FD lag was absolutely horrible...

Player-1 from Player 1
Match Rating: 5.0
Sat 29 Nov 2008, 12:12 PM EST
I'll never get used to the horrible lag we have...

Player-1 from Player 1
Match Rating: 5.0
Sun 23 Nov 2008, 3:02 PM EST
GG, so laggy on FD I couldn't do **** especially in the beginning

Player-1 from Player 1
Match Rating: 5.0
Sun 23 Nov 2008, 1:13 PM EST
gg...once again button delay has screwed me over, every time I tried recovering on Lylat there was a a little lag spike that just screwed me up.

Player-1 from Player 1
Match Rating: 5.0
Sat 22 Nov 2008, 5:05 PM EST
****ing bull****. 1st lag screws up my recovery at 63% and I get gimped by my own banana, then you not only were standing on my banana but you ran over and didn't slip, ****ing BS. No way you would have won.

Player-1 from Player 1
Match Rating: 5.0
Sat 22 Nov 2008, 3:50 PM EST
Wow...I love button delay and how it makes me fsmash instead of dash attack and how it makes run into neutral A's...gg, screw lag

Player-1 from Player 1
Match Rating: 5.0
Fri 21 Nov 2008, 5:55 PM EST
Wow...I think I'm giving up on brawl. EVERY single match today, I lost due to some gay *** thing. Tripping, lag, glitches...I think I'm done, I think I give up

Player-1 from Player 1
Match Rating: 1.0
Fri 21 Nov 2008, 5:41 PM EST
Horrible player, horrible Wolf, horrible sportsmanship. He just abused the lag we had with spamming lasers, and taunted in mid match just to rub it in.

Player-1 from Player 1
Match Rating: 5.0
Fri 21 Nov 2008, 5:21 PM EST
Wow...I hold downt he shield button nothing happens...I airdodge...nothing happens, I get comboed off the stage, I charage my rockets...they go up instantly. 2nd match...IDK how you got the the ledge first, I was right next to it and didn't grab it,

Player-1 from Player 1
Match Rating: 5.0
Fri 21 Nov 2008, 4:20 PM EST
Wow...THANKS AGAIN NINTENDO FOR THE GAY SERVERS. Yes, it totally makes sense you can neutral B, and Up-b DURING my dash attack. Complete BS and complete luck

Player-1 from Player 1
Match Rating: 5.0
Fri 21 Nov 2008, 11:22 AM EST
Wow...my 4th loss in a row....every single one of them purely because of god **** button delay/lag

Player-1 from Player 1
Match Rating: 5.0
Thu 20 Nov 2008, 5:58 PM EST
GG, good wolf. Definitevly wouldn't have won though if not for the BS lag, making me SD on FD at 46% damage....

Player-1 from Player 1
Match Rating: 5.0
Thu 20 Nov 2008, 5:17 PM EST
GG, amazing DK. I don't see why when I press down on BF on the last stock, how I don't go down and just stay on the platform rolling, or how on FD your Fsmash had absolutely no lag, I couldn't even spot dsmash it...BS

Player-1 from Player 1
Match Rating: 1.0
Sat 15 Nov 2008, 9:16 AM EST
Wow...I try to be nice and not spam bananas, he just ftilted the whole game, you know you spam ftilt if you don't kill a diddy at 200% with it never would have won if not for the terrible lag that last game, I had you so many times and all you had to

Player-1 from Player 1
Match Rating: 5.0
Fri 14 Nov 2008, 6:22 PM EST
GG great Olimar, probably wouldn't have won the YI match, but of course it lags right when I try to turn my barrels and I B-up straight up...

Player-1 from Player 1
Match Rating: 1.0
Sat 8 Nov 2008, 1:26 PM EST
Wow just another Ftilt spammer. ****ing lucky my video cord kept going out and killed me nearly every time because of it. Horrible sportsmanship, he kept attacking me when I wasn't doing anything, because he knows he can't beat me when I can act

Player-1 from Player 1
Match Rating: 1.0
Sat 8 Nov 2008, 1:07 PM EST
Hours of countering bananas? If by that you mean you learned how to spam in laggy *** games and get lucky gimps, then that shouldn't take training. Lag+spam+MK+not playing in 2-3 days=auto win

Player-1 from Player 1
Match Rating: 5.0
Sun 2 Nov 2008, 11:49 AM EST
GG, Great Olimar. Lucky stage spike 1st game, and then my shield button stopped working for some reason and I couldn't do ****.

Did these all a long time ago because the kid didn't know what the word "john" meant.
 

Tacel

Smash Lord
Joined
May 10, 2009
Messages
1,616
Location
PA
My dad barging into my room to tell me about something on TV that I don't even care about.
 
D

Deleted member

Guest
if i hadnt sat on my remote, i would have taken one of your lives.
 
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