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I'm not 12, should I make that clear for my parents... everyday?

9Kplus1

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Link to original post: [drupal=3179]I'm not 12, should I make that clear for my parents... everyday?[/drupal]

I'm releasing a ****load of anger typing this, so I'm apologizing in advance to the jerks that don't like SWF's censoring or cursing in general. <3 you guys ^-^

My mom, no, my parents have been treating me as if I were no older than a toddler and it wasn’t until that I started actually traveling more than a mile away from home that I began to realize how ridiculous that is. I’m their youngest son – at the age of 16 – but despite that, I have something that my siblings lacked when before they reached adulthood: Common ****ing sense. When my brothers hit 18, they wanted to finally be treated as an adult; two of them decided to become rebels and one is just a man-*****. My sister just wanted to stay out every day that she could, knowing that my mom wouldn’t really give a **** where she was – I didn’t want to end up having to wait until my mom stopped caring to be treated my age. I began staying after school in order to hang out with my friends instead of only having people from my neighborhood come to my house every now and then in order to play video games (****ING video games >_>). My mom always wants to know where I am at all times for some odd reason; I haven’t done anything not to be trusted, as her response to me asking her why I have to tell her where I am if I’m not at home was “I don’t want to be held responsible for anything that ‘goes down’ while you’re out”. I take care of my pets, I rarely lie these days about anything, I’m always an “angel” in school, and I never bring a G.P.A lower than 3.00 home. I’m not a friggen saint, but I deserve at least some type of trust… right? I never even attempt to talk back to my parents (well actually, I can’t since I’m always being yelled at to the point where I can’t get a word in edgewise).

Anyway, during the blizzard that kept me snowed in for a good week – in February – I finally snapped. I couldn’t stand being in that house anymore (almost walking out into the 6 inches of snow that was already on the ground) and my mom just kept nagging me about how she “needed to get out of this house” because of how no one really felt like cleaning whenever she wanted to. I needed some peace, so rather use the computer that houses most of my important files, I decided to go to my basement and use my computer. Still trying to get away from my family, I began to work on this, prompting me to start saving files on the computer that my mom didn’t intend for me to use. I was at peace for a few days until my mom tells me “I don’t want you using that computer”. So, I ask why and she says “Because I need to know what you’re doing at all times”. I’m going “What the ****? Really? ****ing *****” in my mind, but instead of bursting out in a rage, I calmly said, “Why? I’m 16. I should at least have the trust of my own mom”. We ended up arguing about something that could’ve been resolved by me complying with my mom, but I didn’t want to back down for some odd reason. I finally gain the advantage yelling, “I’M NOT A FRIGGEN BABY, STOP TREATING ME LIKE ONE!” and she told me what she tells my brothers and sister when she wants to end an argument that she’s losing: “If you don’t want to follow my rules, then you can get the **** out”. I’m wondering how I even implied that I didn’t want to follow any of the rules that she’s set; I honestly doubt that asking to be treated my age is breaking any type of rule. Yes, I did yell at her, but wouldn’t you have done the same in my situation? Not being able to get a word in for years? Being monitored constantly when you’re obviously capable of taking care of yourself for a good two hours? Wouldn’t that cause any person to just ****ing snap? tbh, I think that me yelling at her was justified to some extent =s.

Now, last week on Friday, I decided to go with my friends to a movie, which is only 15 minutes away from my house. After school, my friends and I met up and were on out way to the subway station when my mom calls me, asking me where I am; earlier that day, I told her that I was staying after school with my friends and she just sighed and shrugged her shoulders. I told her that I was with my friends and I was leaving the school to go to the station. She almost told me not to stay after school, but after I told her that here wouldn’t be anything to worry about, she just hung up on me. I took that as another “I don’t really give a ****”. Yesterday, she called me into her room and asked me why I came home late (apparently, 6:00 is late to her >______>) and I told her that I went to the movies with my friends. She started yelling bull**** at me like “YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO TELL ME WHERE YOU’RE GOING AT ALL TIMES” and “IF YOU KEEP DOING THIS, YOU CAN’T HANG OUT WITH YOUR FRIENDS AFTER SCHOOL ANYMORE”. I told her that I just assumed that since I’m 16, that I’d be able to have fun with my friends while still within close range of her. We continued this for a while until she told me to get out of her room, almost throwing her remote at me. I went back to my room and tried to calm myself down, but she bursts into my room saying “Okay. So you don’t feel like obeying my rules. You can leave. I won’t call the police and tell them that you’re missing, just get out if you don’t want to listen to me. They have places with a bunch of other juveniles that don’t want to abide by their parent’s rules. You can go there, too.”. I asked why she was acting like that and reiterated every single point that I’ve been trying to make for the past month. She. Was. Pissed. She picked up my trash can, shook it up and tossed it on the floor. I told her that she was acting like a ****ing kid and she just left.

Today, I woke up around noon and went to go eat breakfast; my mom was in the dining room eating as well. She starts to spite every little thing that I’m doing, telling me **** that I obviously wouldn’t do while she’s there: “Don’t eat in your room”, “Get a paper towel”, “Don’t get up while you’re eating”, etc. After I finished eating, my mom told me “I have to work tomorrow, don’t stay after” when she already knew that I was planning to stay after for my friend’s softball game (Though, it might be canceled if it that 10% chance of rain pulls through). I didn’t say anything and went back to my room… then I went downstairs in order to type this stuff up.

So, I’m curious on what I should do: Should I just stay after tomorrow despite my mom telling me not to? I could always use bull**** like “oh, I missed my bus” or “I had to redo a test”… Or should I just go home and do nothing? Please keep in mind that I rarely get the chance to actually go out and socialize like a normal person.
 

Grunt

Smash Master
Joined
Apr 27, 2008
Messages
4,612
Location
Kawaii Hawaii
defy
you're a brother with a curious mind
action must be taken
you don't need the key
you'll break in
 

john!

Smash Hero
Joined
Nov 19, 2006
Messages
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The Garden of Earthly Delights
Moms do that. You're her last kid and she's scared of losing her power over others. I doubt she will ever kick you out, so just do what you want (of course maybe she will, I don't know her). You have to assert yourself against moms like this. Just rebel like your siblings did.
 

PurDi

Smash Journeyman
Joined
Jul 22, 2009
Messages
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I don't really know anymore...
Defy her again. Honestly, it's what I'd do. Stay after school, come back and if she tells you to leave, actually do it. Stay at a friends house for the night and Come back after school the next day.

As long as you aren't doing anything stupid it should be fine.

Also, if she keeps it up, shut her out completely, don't respond verbally to anything she says. Do what she tells you but don't talk to her at all. If she starts yelling, just sit there. Make it seem like you don't care at all. Whenever she realizes that you're pushing her aside she become either sad or upset and after she's done, that's when you spill it on her. Talk to her as if you're equals. Don't sound angry she tell her exactly how she feels. If she has a fit, walk away.
 

Drayden

Smash Rookie
Joined
Feb 11, 2010
Messages
1
Your brother is the same as mine the olders ones always seem to lack the most common sense this days. Your mom is exactly like mine also hypercritical and seems overprotective. You could try to talk to her about what you see is unfair, but she probably won't listen. But ultimately if you really want to get more freedom here's what you could do

1. Compromise - What I mean by this is buying yourself a cellphone and if you go out to call them every 30 minutes or so.

2. Act Responsible - Just do **** that needs to done.

3. Do Something For Her Without A Hidden Motive - Buy her small gifts from time to time.

4. Have Patience - Even though this contradicts Step 3 you will soon will have bulid enough trust from her to start letting you out more.

5. Know Her Weakness - This is what you can do if you have go someone important and parents won't let you

6. If None Of The Above Work - Find your nearest phonebook and set up a family therapy

7. And If That Doesn't Work - YOU'RE SCREWED..... Nah just don't talk your parents


As for your question if you really want to go to your friend's house then yeah make up some bull**** excuse

I hope that helps if not well
YOU'RE ****ED..... =D

But honestly don't follow those steps that hardly ever work
Execpt for 5. 5. definitely would work
 

Solaris1110

Smash Journeyman
Joined
Mar 16, 2008
Messages
384
Location
Edmonton, Alberta, Canada
It seems like you have enough common sense to be able to figure this out on your own, and you're just posting this to vent. But yeah, the posts in this thread are good enough. Maybe instead of completely shutting her out, just try to dumb down conversation (cough loudly a lot, ask to repeat what she said because you missed it, respond swiftly, monotonously and with a long latency, "I dont know", etc etc.)
 

Figgz

Smash Cadet
Joined
Sep 23, 2009
Messages
33
Your brother is the same as mine the olders ones always seem to lack the most common sense this days. Your mom is exactly like mine also hypercritical and seems overprotective. You could try to talk to her about what you see is unfair, but she probably won't listen. But ultimately if you really want to get more freedom here's what you could do

1. Compromise - What I mean by this is buying yourself a cellphone and if you go out to call them every 30 minutes or so.

2. Act Responsible - Just do **** that needs to done.

3. Do Something For Her Without A Hidden Motive - Buy her small gifts from time to time.

4. Have Patience - Even though this contradicts Step 3 you will soon will have bulid enough trust from her to start letting you out more.

5. Know Her Weakness - This is what you can do if you have go someone important and parents won't let you

6. If None Of The Above Work - Find your nearest phonebook and set up a family therapy

7. And If That Doesn't Work - YOU'RE SCREWED..... Nah just don't talk your parents


As for your question if you really want to go to your friend's house then yeah make up some bull**** excuse

I hope that helps if not well
YOU'RE ****ED..... =D

But honestly don't follow those steps that hardly ever work
Execpt for 5. 5. definitely would work



That should sum up your problems, he even give steps
 

INSANE CARZY GUY

Banned via Warnings
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May 14, 2008
Messages
6,915
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Indianapolis
When ever you get any BS don't get mad simpley ask why and don't quit till you've been given a solid answer(unlikely) or till they give up and let you do whatever you need to do.

If she gets mad at you for asking ask her what if you asked me to do something dumb like jump off a bridge.

Also sorry I believe most people are machine like they are programmed and rarly change, but you can figure out the system and beat it
 

El Nino

BRoomer
BRoomer
Joined
Jul 4, 2003
Messages
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Ground zero, 1945
I think you can compromise. Let her know where you're going, call if you're going to be late, but still go out and do what you want to do. Having a good relationship with parents is important, but so is your own independence.

What
the
hell
Does that even mean. It is not even remotely related god****it.
If it made sense, it wouldn't be Insane Carzy Guy.
 

DTP

L o s t - in reality~
Joined
Jun 14, 2008
Messages
8,125
lol Menopause is always interesting to deal with.

jk



But really, this was my favorite part of what you said.

I told her that she was acting like a ****ing kid and she just left.

No offense, but you're mother is acting really immature about the whole situation. I'm just wondering how she became so paranoid. Was it really only because of your older siblings?
Of course I don't know exactly what they did, so some could say that SOME of her paranoia is justified, but it sounds like she still went overboard like, 3 times over.


I personally wouldn't know how to deal with this.
Does your father live with you? I'd definitely talk to him if you haven't already. Or just someone, like an uncle, and family friend iunno.

It'd be hard to tackle this alone since the situation, at a first glance, seems to be about primarily about you. You gotta find out what's making her act like this somehow. Maybe once/if your mother calms the **** down a bit, you could even talk to her and work out some sort of compromise?

This situation sounds kinda tricky. I really wouldn't what to do beyond what I said.
I wish you the best.
 

Super_Sonic8677

Smash Lord
Joined
Apr 11, 2008
Messages
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Location
Where people get NOTHING.
Get. A. Job.

Seriously you're 16. Go out make you're own money so you can have your own car and do whatever within reason. Don't go overboard like you're siblings..but you can't even choose which computer you can use WTF? I'd get my own. But that so irrelevant and trivial. She needs to know what exactly everything that you're doing and that's rediculous for someone your age.

Though I've found the less intelligent and responsible you are, the more you can get away with ****. It's absurd I know but it's the freakin truth. ******* can do what they want and the mature ones are babied.

Your mom is just like my mom. She won't change until you do in fact leave or something happens I'm afraid.
 

9Kplus1

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Get. A. Job.
I would have to rely on my mom/dad to transport me everywhere if I didn't have any type of income. I think that I've already made it clear that I don't =s

I've shown myself to be responsible for a decent amount of ****, but I'm gussing that taking care of my pets, keeping my room tidy and doing my chores whenever I have to isn't enough.

Does your father live with you? I'd definitely talk to him if you haven't already.
That's my problem, both of my parents treat me the same way >______>. Any other "wise" member of my family would agree with not treating me as if I couldn't walk yet, but it's VERY unlikely that my parents will even listen. Actually, they'll listen, but I honestly doubt that they'll go further.
 

highfive

Smash Lord
Joined
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Buhl, Idaho
Drip red canned juice over an extra pair of your shoes, just one, your mother is certain to find and identify as yours, leave it in the front lawn where she can discover it after school then proceed to be with your friends as normal. Don't answer her on your phone at any time.

That may give her extra incentive to respect you. Or call the police. Either one.
 

GunmasterLombardi

Smash Champion
Joined
Jan 4, 2009
Messages
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My ego...It's OVER 9000!
Drip red canned juice over an extra pair of your shoes, just one, your mother is certain to find and identify as yours, leave it in the front lawn where she can discover it after school then proceed to be with your friends as normal. Don't answer her on your phone at any time.

That may give her extra incentive to respect you. Or call the police. Either one.
Epic Win. Hi5!

My mama was like this a lot but it's actually acceptable. I CAN PLAY GAMES WITH VIOLENCE!
 

Javon89

Smash Ace
Joined
Aug 14, 2009
Messages
666
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Brampton, Ontario, Canada
The best way to deal with this is to talk to her, I'd hate to sound like Dr.Phil/Baldy but sit her down ask her not to rage and ask if you express her feelings. If she doesn't like the idea of you having freedom, as everyone said, defy her.
 

Paixy

Smash Journeyman
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Messages
276
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England
I had a friend in a situation like this. He was 13, allowed to play games for a maximum an hour and a half a day, could only play in their back garden or like a small area outside the house (about 50m to play in), and had to come back in 4:30/5PM when he only got back from school at 3:30... :laugh:
 

Nø Ca$h

Smash Champion
Joined
Jan 15, 2009
Messages
2,726
Location
Philadelphia PA
home life is a drag...

when she said "if u dont like my rules gtfo" i wouldof walked the **** out.

sometimes im glad my mom is a crack head
 

Figgz

Smash Cadet
Joined
Sep 23, 2009
Messages
33
Hi5 is just a genius

The other guy rtard he states he doesn't have a job
& two nowadays it's hella hard to find a job, well
except those late cold nights on the corner (shudders)
 

RyuReiatsu

Smash Journeyman
Joined
Jan 17, 2009
Messages
408
I think you can compromise. Let her know where you're going, call if you're going to be late, but still go out and do what you want to do. Having a good relationship with parents is important, but so is your own independence.



If it made sense, it wouldn't be Insane Carzy Guy.
I agree with you on that point. Acting all rebel is the stupidest thing you can do. Expressing yourself through aggressive manners just does not cut it, you seem to be in your rebellious teen moment. I've had it too, anybody does. But you have to moderate it, don't let it go too far.

And hey, Carzy's always trying to be singular and unique. Don't listen to his random stuff such as jumping down a bridge, even himself wouldn't do it.

My mom is permissive, but my grandmother's quite the freak. She calls me all the time (whenever my mom lends me her cellphone that is) and wants to know whatever I'm doing. Just keep it cool, tell her what you're doing/where you are and just go on with whatever drug you were injecting or smoking.
Oh wait, what am I saying? That was my grandmom who was assuming as much.
 

GwJ

Smash Hero
Joined
Nov 1, 2008
Messages
5,833
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Pennsylvania
NNID
Baghul
That's how my mom is for the most part. I still argue with her everyday. I did do something funny though with them the other day.

My TV with my Wii and 360 are in a wooden case thing. I can't spell it, it's pronounced "arm-w-are". Anyway, a mysterious dent appeared in it below the closing doors. My dad yells at me to get in here and I ask him what's up. He says that I put this dent in there and I'm not allowed in this room anymore. I tell him, "How do you suppose I did this?". He told me I probably threw my controller at it. I told him that's stupid and that if I get angry, I put the chair (Which is what I always do, I can cause quite a ruckus sometimes). Anyway, he didn't buy it. I told him to get out of the chair and I sat down. I opened the doors, held my controller and looked at him. I said about "Now, which part of this scene make the dent? I'm either doing this or sitting on the sofa watching TV." Heh heh, he told me "Don't put this lawyer nonsense on me. Don't ask me for evidence!". I chuckled and walked out.



I didn't do it by the way.
 

BlueTerrorist

Smash Ace
Joined
Jan 6, 2008
Messages
720
Location
New York
Sounds alot like my situation -_-'.

Can't do anything outside the house at al lol. Guess that's why I can't go to tournies :laugh:.
 
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