My Creative Writing Class Is A Joke

[Chris Lionheart]

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As an aspiring writer, I thought it would be fun and beneficial to spend one of my last remaining classes on Creative Writing. I expected to learn a lot (or atleast something) about how to develop new and interesting characters and make the most use out of them.


Well I step into class on day one. The first thing the teacher does is ask us for our favorite book, to which one of the class's many girls replied "TWILIGHT!" "That's a great example of characterization," replied the teacher. "It shows that characters can be characterized just by the way they speak- like Edward became a vampire in the early 1900's, so his language is mostly archaic to what we speak nowadays, while Bella is modern, reflected in her speech." The teacher went on and on about Meyer's "brilliant" characters for a while, and I felt like I was going to be sick.

It could only get worse... our first assignment... to make author avatars. Simply put, we were trying to turn ourselves into... better versions of ourselves for use in our works... Is this teacher from the ****ing stone age of writing? That's been considered a big mistake for years (and is one of the many reasons why Twilight sucks so badly)!

In the paper, I decided to get back at the teacher, through my hobbies section. Something along the lines of "I like to read. *Insert book series I've read here*. One series I will never read is Twilight. Good job, Stephanie Meyer, you can open a thesaurus. Too bad it won't make your works suck any less." I could tell that she had just been figuratively slapped in the face when she read that. I felt good.



Really, I hope the rest of the semester isn't this fail.

 

[Jam Stunna]

The creative writing class I took a few years ago wasn't great, but it did make me write more in that semester than I did before (or since). Just try to take whatever good you can from it, and don't let it discourage you from taking other writing classes. They'll almost certainly be better.

 

[CRASHiC]

I've had two experience with creative writing classes.

1. Very lax, an instant A basically. Then I moved and got this:
2. A harsh, IB/AP class where you were lucky to get a C. The problem with this class however is the teacher has a forumla on how to write, and it was basically so that the school could win awards knowing what they looked for, but it would ruin you as an author I swear. The thing that bothered me the most was the "start every story or book off with an action." Okay, I said, what about "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times." I'm sorry, I didn't know that he was a bad author. Or what about the begining of a Christmas Carol, that's a statment, not an action. This was just one of my many gripes with her forumla.

I've never seen a good high school creative writing class.

However, I plore you not to write off Twlight so quickly. The plot of the book is laughable, but there may still be (haven't read the book) some correct things she has done as an author.

 

[finalark]

Oh my God, I'm getting flashbacks to my own creative writing class.

Seeing how I enjoy storytelling and writing, I thought I'd take a creative writing class last year. Our first assignment is some poetry, and I'm okay with that. Yeah, I don't like it but I'll go through whatever in order to get to to the storytelling. The school was posistioned downtown, so we often went out into the city for "inspiration" (although it was probably just the teacher trying to get out of the school for some fresh air). Here's what our assignments consisted of:

-Looking at modern "art" statues and writing poems about them
-examining "deep" poetry that made no sense reguardless of how I looked at it
-Going out into the city, closing our eyes and writing about what we heard. And we're right next to the highway

That's just a few off the top of my head. So eventually we finally got to write a short story. So we went out into the city, and had to take a look around and find someone to write a story about. Oh yes, and it can't be sci-fi, fantasy, or anything fun. We were only aloud to write realistic fiction. I picked this big, scary black guy in a suit who was carrying a briefcase. I decided that he was actually an assassin who was hired by the Yakuza to remove the CEO of a huge company in America that was getting in their way.

My teacher was not amused.

So long story short, creative writing teachers are kind of lame.

 

[Jam Stunna]

So long story short, creative writing teachers are kind of lame.

The problem is that some of them take it SO SERIOUSLY. As if you're insulting them personally if your idea of a good story isn't Pulitzer Prize winning literary stories. That was one thing I liked about my professor, I could write whatever I wanted.

 

[Skler]

I hope your class was high school and not college. For the love of god, no college professors should think Twilight has good characterization.

 

[Chris Lionheart]

I hope your class was high school and not college. For the love of god, no college professors should think Twilight has good characterization.

It was high school. But that is no excuse. This person went through college for creative writing (or English/Literature... whatever) and have devoted their life's work to err... writing.... creatively. No creative writing teacher should think Twilight has good anything, much less characterization.

 

[Skler]

Twilight did one thing well, it knew its target audience.

 

[highfive]

Good job on bagging Twilight. Horrible book. Stephen King even agrees.

There is a creative writing class for my school but I dare not go there. The teacher there is a Twilight addict and speaks nothing more than that.

 

[highfive]

EDIT- double post. Darn internet. I've been had.

 

[Lythium]

Even though I was sorely tempted, for the reasons listed I never took a Creative Writing class in uni. It just wasn't worth the blatant idiocy.

 

[mountain_tiger]

I've never been to a Creative Writing class. I prefer to have my writing mature of its own accord.

 

[M.K]

Creative Writing has always been "that joke class" at my school, simply because it's chock-full of people who are so full of themselves about their writing skill, and not actually people who want to LEARN to write better.
However, it could be assumed that the teacher was simply trying to appeal to the students on the first day. If he/she was like "OMFG, stupid female child, Twilight ****ing sucks." then I'm sure she wouldn't have given off a good first impression.

 

[Chris Lionheart]

Oh, no... she's a big Twilight fangirl from what my friends have told me. She also thinks that Obama is doing a great job. *facepalm*

Stupid teacher... I just hope I don't come out of this class a WORSE writer.

 

[M.K]

Oh, no... she's a big Twilight fangirl from what my friends have told me. She also thinks that Obama is doing a great job. *facepalm*

Stupid teacher... I just hope I don't come out of this class a WORSE writer.

Well, can you switch out of the class? Just wondering, since this class DOES sound dreadful.
Try taking something more useful and less eyeball-ripping-out.

 

[Chris Lionheart]

Well, can you switch out of the class? Just wondering, since this class DOES sound dreadful.
Try taking something more useful and less eyeball-ripping-out.

Unfortunately, the school board are f***tards.

The only reason they allow you to change your schedule is in the rare case that there was an error and you are not actually allowed to take the class you are in, as in you didn't meet pre-requisite's or you've already passed the class.

They do not allow schedule changes based on whether or not the class was what you wanted, you got an awful teacher, you feel that you won't be able to succeed in that class, etc., even if you request this schedule change early on. It's extremely ********, because these are all very legit reasons for desiring a schedule change.

Furthermore, they are a bunch of ***holes. If you fail a class due to having an inadequate teacher (as many math teachers at my school are), and request not to have that teacher again, they are going to put you in that teacher's class again for sadistic pleasure.

 

[Xiahou Dun]

(haven't read the book)

This is all that needs to be said.

At one point an entire page is spent describing Bella's breath while walking to a School class. Entire paragraphs on at which point she inhaled and exhaled. Nothing shocking or amazing had been revealed/happened that day btw. She was simply walking to a class on a normal day.

A discussion is held for 7 pages between two characters. What is said in this discussion? NOTHING. It is small talk and meaningless sentiments. Not a single point of interest or information is raised.

I could give many more examples.

Characterisation? Hah! Bella is the most boring devoid of personality character I've ever seen. If she existed in the real world all she would do is sit around reading Twilight. Edward is polite and quiet but just as devoid.

Not to mention the grammar and sentence structure that riddles the entire book. She seems to have relied on MS Word spellchecker as her sole proof reader.

 

[Chris Lionheart]

This is all that needs to be said.

At one point an entire page is spent describing Bella's breath while walking to a School class. Entire paragraphs on at which point she inhaled and exhaled. Nothing shocking or amazing had been revealed/happened that day btw. She was simply walking to a class on a normal day.

A discussion is held for 7 pages between two characters. What is said in this discussion? NOTHING. It is small talk and meaningless sentiments. Not a single point of interest or information is raised.

I could give many more examples.

Characterisation? Hah! Bella is the most boring devoid of personality character I've ever seen. If she existed in the real world all she would do is sit around reading Twilight. Edward is polite and quiet but just as devoid.

Not to mention the grammar and sentence structure that riddles the entire book. She seems to have relied on MS Word spellchecker as her sole proof reader.

Didn't they devote like an entire chapter to a sex scene?

 

[Xiahou Dun]

You know since no blood flows through his body it would be impossible for Edward to get an erection.

 

[Chris Lionheart]

You know since no blood flows through his body it would be impossible for Edward to get an erection.

That's not the worst scientific mistake Meyer has made, sadly. In one of her non-Twilight books, an asexual alien takes over a woman's body and falls in love with her boyfriend. If you are asexual, you can't have a sex drive, and therefore can't fall in love with someone (though noone falls in love in Meyer's books... it's all lust).

 

[RyuReiatsu]

You know since no blood flows through his body it would be impossible for Edward to get an erection.

LOL. Xiahou, that must be the most awesome post on SWF EVER.

*Cough* On a serious note.
Chris, I know what it is... The whole system sucks, doesn't it? It's the same at my school.
I was assigned to the journalism class, when I've never ever asked for it (I didn't even know it existed!) and they wanted a 'true and good reason'. It seems that "a placement error" wasn't enough for them -_-...

Meyer is a joke.

 

[XFadingNirvanaX]

Link to original post: [drupal=2938]My Creative Writing Class Is A Joke[/drupal]

"TWILIGHT!" "That's a great example of characterization," replied the teacher. "It shows that characters can be characterized just by the way they speak- like Edward became a vampire in the early 1900's, so his language is mostly archaic to what we speak nowadays, while Bella is modern, reflected in her speech." The teacher went on and on about Meyer's "brilliant" characters for a while, and I felt like I was going to be sick.

That's the worst characterization I've ever seen. Twilight is a wannabe love story that centers on stupid teenagers. You'd think Edward would be a littler more wise since it seems he's that old....

I bet she adores Hannah Montana.

 

[Jim Morrison]

That's not the worst scientific mistake Meyer has made, sadly. In one of her non-Twilight books, an asexual alien takes over a woman's body and falls in love with her boyfriend. If you are asexual, you can't have a sex drive, and therefore can't fall in love with someone (though noone falls in love in Meyer's books... it's all lust).

Who needs science when there's MONEY to be gotten. LOTS and LOTS of SWEET MONEY.

 

[Chris Lionheart]

Who needs science when there's MONEY to be gotten. LOTS and LOTS of SWEET MONEY.

And what makes more money than appealing to fangirls through softcore vampire pr0n?


I guess we should all be glad that it wasn't full of yaoi. *puke*

 

[Jim Morrison]

I could imagine her writing some vampire homosexual written-porno in the future.

 

[Chris Lionheart]

I could imagine her writing some vampire homosexual written-porno in the future.

Let's just hope she doesn't... though she probably will. If she hooked up Edward and Jacob in a book, the ensuing riot of girl's rushing to the bookstore would probably make her millions.... and disgust every Twilight hater in the world, Stephen King included.

 

[CRASHiC]

Good job on bagging Twilight. Horrible book. Stephen King even agrees.

And those are big words from a man with only two good books.

 

[bobson]

And those are big words from a man with only two good books.

That's two more than Stephenie Meyer has ever written, so I'd say he's qualified.

 

[Chris Lionheart]

That's two more than Stephenie Meyer has ever written, so I'd say he's qualified.

Very much agreed. But why the hate for Stephen King, Crashic?

 

[CRASHiC]

Outside of The Shawshank Redemption and The Green Mile, every book he has written is as forumlated as an episode of Scooby Doo.

 

[finalark]

Outside of The Shawshank Redemption and The Green Mile, every book he has written is as forumlated as an episode of Scooby Doo.

It's been a while since I read it, but the Talisman was pretty good.

Then again, it's been a long time since I read it.

 

[El Nino]

I picked this big, scary black guy in a suit who was carrying a briefcase. I decided that he was actually an assassin who was hired by the Yakuza to remove the CEO of a huge company in America that was getting in their way.

I'd read that.

I guess we should all be glad that it wasn't full of yaoi. *puke*

Lulz.

I could imagine her writing some vampire homosexual written-porno in the future.

It takes a lot to ruin homosexual p0rn. But if anyone can do it, Meyer probably can.

Outside of The Shawshank Redemption and The Green Mile, every book he has written is as forumlated as an episode of Scooby Doo.

I knew I would rue the day....

Stephen King isn't my favorite writer, though I did read a lot of him when I was a kid. I still think he writes decent entertainment, and there's nothing wrong with entertainment. But I guess my tastes have changed since that time, such that his stories don't appeal to me anymore.

And, yes, he does adhere to the formula a lot of the time. He does it well, I think, but it's still formula.

 

[Teran]

I thought The Running Man was pretty good.

 

[Omis]

As childish as it was, I found "The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon" to be very interesting.

 

[:mad:]

At least she discusses the books. I decided to try Contemporary Literature but for some reason got put in Creative Writing. Miss Lachotta is an amazing English teacher, I'll give her that. She gave us vocabulary packets for the entire first quarter and a short story for the second quarter. So one semester of work was just vocabulary along with a short story. I've come to dislike her now because I for one would enjoy having a teacher talk to our class about Twilight. It's easy to humor her.

Get switched if you think you aren't learning anything. I would suggest you ignore the subject and try not to focus too much on "TWILIGHT OMG ". She probably has some good things to say.

 

[M.K]

Haha, they tell us the SAME THING about switching classes.
All you gotta do is e-mail your designated school counseler and explain the situation. Find a class that's the same period that you would ENJOY, and switch i!

My second semester was originally (in order of periods):

Anatomy & Physiology (Honors)
Spanish I
AP Psychology
Chemistry (Honors)

and NOW it's:

Chemistry (Honors)
Teacher Cadet I
AP Psychology
Anatomy & Physiology (Honors)

 

[El Nino]

I think if you can't switch out, might as well stay and write what you want and speak up about your opinions. If Twilight enters the class discussion again, say how you honestly feel about it and challenge the teacher's opinion if you want, just do it respectfully if you don't want to get screwed over in terms of a grade. I mean, her argument for Meyer's characterizations is remarkably weak. It takes more than some random archaic word choices to mark someone's age.

I know, I know, challenging a teacher in a high school is pretty futile and can only spell bad news.

But I can't say it doesn't build character.

 

[Jam Stunna]

Also I'm pretty sure that having a character who hasn't changed his speech patterns in over 100 years is actually really poor characterization.

 

[Veril]

As bad as Twilight is... sooo bad... it was insanely successful. You should pay attention to the way it takes advantage of its (insipid) target audience and exploit that for the A... and for the b****es.

Anatomy & Physiology (Honors)

Why take this instead AP-bio (unless you already have)? It won't get you out of real (college premed/nursing major) A&P, whereas APBio will get you out of Gen-bio which is usually a prereq.


You don't actually have to take the AP Psych class to get a 5 on the test (I did along with one girl actually in the class, I don't know of anyone who's got below a 3... ever). The class and test are both stupid easy.

 

[El Nino]

Also I'm pretty sure that having a character who hasn't changed his speech patterns in over 100 years is actually really poor characterization.

The sparkles make up for it.