Noob Alert

[Kirby Phelps (PK)]

Here's a little story. My friend has a little gaming club after school, usually he and I are the best ones there, the rest are either okay or noobs. But these two guys walked in and wanted to play. They were talking like they were veterans and could take us all out easily. They even LOOKED like the type of people who would be good at video games. So to test out their skills, I chose my best character, Ness, and went after them and didn't hold back. Turns out that...they sucked. They REALLY sucked. They were worse than most of the other noobs. So then they started saying stuff like: "OH MY GOD! Ness is the cheapest character in the game!" "Ness sucks, dude!" "You'd have to really suck at Smash to have to resort to using Ness!" "Who chose Battlefield anyway, this stage sucks." So in the next match, I decided to own them with Lucas, and they said: "Yeah, like I said, Ness and what's his face, Lucas, are the cheapest homos in the game, they suck!" Man, I've never encountered noobs like this before. The usual noobs are little kids who don't really know what they're doing and want to play with Smash Balls. Kinda cute really. But sucking, making excuses, AND insulting my favorite characters? Oh HECK no!

Anyway, I can't be the only person who's encountered noobs like this. So share your stories.

 

[Ich Bin Awesome]

But Ness and Lucas ARE the cheapest homos in the game.

 

[ndayday]

Episode One: The Mystery of the Johning N00bs

Case Solved: No Johns.

Err but yeah, there is a thread like this already, sorry to break the news to you. If you would like to see it, just follow the link which I have conveniantly placed in the word "Moose."

 

[ssbbFICTION]

Whats even funnier is that you use ness!

lolnoob!

 

[Crazy_mofo213]

Who uses Ness anyways?

lulz

 

[Irsic]

When I encounter people like this, and they call my main cheap because they obviously no nothing about the game, I switch to Meta Knight and use only tornado, shuttle loop, and dsmash to win.

 

[Budget Player Cadet_]

And you kill MK for the rest of us. Thank you.

 

[The_Blue_Bomber]

Who uses Ness anyways?

lulz

Ironic coming from a Mario main.

 

[Pazx]

When I encounter people like this, and they call my main cheap because they obviously no nothing about the game, I switch to Meta Knight and use only tornado, shuttle loop, and dsmash to win.

Probably the best thing to do against scrubs. After telling them that Sonic's final smash IS cheap and that he sucks anyway.

Another thing to do is to say 'OH YOU THINK THAT'S CHEAP? WAIT TILL I USE THE BEST CHARACTER IN THE GAME *token down onto C. Falcon* HAH!'

 

[Mota]

Haha nice, my mate sed Toon Link was cheap cause he could use his grab in the air.

 

[Kirby Phelps (PK)]

Who uses Ness anyways?

lulz

If no one uses Ness, it's probably because people think he's no good. Which means, that he's obviously not cheap.

 

[Browny]

ness has a spike that KO's at 0%
neutral b and upb that KO's at about 30
fsmash tipper that does 25% uncharged and KOs early
throw which can KO at 110

sounds pretty cheap to me

 

[Volts]

ness has a spike that KO's at 0%
neutral b and upb that KO's at about 30
fsmash tipper that does 25% uncharged and KOs early
throw which can KO at 110

sounds pretty cheap to me

Yeah, but that is only "cheap" if you run headlong into them. Try dogging and shielding.

 

[Hiiiiiii]

ness has a spike that KO's at 0%
neutral b and upb that KO's at about 30
fsmash tipper that does 25% uncharged and KOs early
throw which can KO at 110

sounds pretty cheap to me

And a Side B that gives them a free combo if you get hit by it

 

[thekingsdinner666]

I wonder why Ness is so low teir then. I mean he does sound pretty cheap.
Anyway, some people at Gamestop who havent even HEARD of the game pick up the game and say that they can beat me because they played Melee before. So he chooses DDD and says, "I heard King DDD is the best character." So I went Samus and started using his aerial side B's. He paused the match and told me to stop "overusing" the missle. So the next few times I used Samus's Zair and he said that it's nt fare because Samus is the only character that can grab in the air.

 

[Cacti]

Lol @ the grabbing in the air comments...

Ness isn't that good. No one with half a brain would run into a PK Flash, and the tippered fsmash is not that easy to land. At a first, you'd think that he's a pretty average character, but the terrible grab releases that he suffers from cause in his placement in low tier.

 

[thekingsdinner666]

What about Fox noobs? All they do is F-smash, F-smash, F-smash, U-smash. Or Dair to D-smash.
And Jigglypuff noobs try to look cool by doing aerials that they know aren't going to hit. But you can really tell that they're a noob when they try to spike you with Jiggs.

 

[Iwan]

Just your typical, by definition "Scrub"

Sometimes when a scrub loses, they'll tell you the person who just beat them is bad, or that they're being cheap.

Turns out that they're just awful at the game, not to mention it doesn't matter what is or isn't cheap; doing anything to win is what should be done.

not johning.
lol.

 

[thekingsdinner666]

Just your typical, by definition "Scrub"
doing anything to win is what should be done.

Not really. If you go by that motto people will just call you a noob. And that's not a good way to raise someones metagame either. That's why we find techniques.

 

[SpongeBathBill]

And Jigglypuff noobs try to look cool by doing aerials that they know aren't going to hit.

You mean Wall of Pain? Because it's called that for a reason.

Not really. If you go by that motto people will just call you a noob. And that's not a good way to raise someones metagame either. That's why we find techniques.

Win by any means possible. No one cares if they get called a n00b if they aren't one; as a rule, the guy who just lost is the more n00bish one. The metagame develops when people are trying to find new ways to win. Lots of techniques could be considered "cheap," but that doesn't make them any less valid, not by a long shot.

 

[Kirby Phelps (PK)]

Lol @ the grabbing in the air comments...

Ness isn't that good. No one with half a brain would run into a PK Flash, and the tippered fsmash is not that easy to land. At a first, you'd think that he's a pretty average character, but the terrible grab releases that he suffers from cause in his placement in low tier.

Silly Cacti, Tiers R 4 Queers.

 

[daisho]

Dude, ness clearly isn't cheap. But if you were trying to prove that switching to lucas who is pretty similar to a noob was probably not a good idea.

 

[Revven]

Should've chosen Meta Knight.

Problems solved.

 

[Cerubi]

Is this better?

No items
Fox only
Final Destination

 

[FireKirby7]

If you want to argue about Ness's awesomeness, Ness boards, thata way. >>>>>>>>

I like it when people call Ness and Lucas cheap or annoying, it makes me feel more powerful and menacing when I use 'em.

 

[Collective of Bears]

Should've chosen Meta Knight.

Problems solved.

Actually not a bad idea.

 

[POKE40]

What you should have done:

1) Tell them no johns

2) Pick MK

3) Pick any freakn stage cause MK owns anyways

4) Beat the crap out of them

5) Tell them no johns.

 

[tekkie]

Pick MK. Press buttons. Win easy.

 

[noahbaby94]

Pick MK. Press buttons. Win easy.

Even easier just press B.

 

[Yingyay]

I was once told that my Sheik/Zelda was broken and am a noob for using them both in one match.

 

[Jon?]

While I was still in high school, I would play Melee casually. Someone brought their gamecube to school and I saw their copy of Melee with them. I started a conversation with them about melee and they challenged me to a game during lunch. He claimed that he was gonna beat me and I agreed to this defeat due to the fact I play Melee casually, although I did know some popular combos at the time.

Game time came around and he choose Shiek while I stuck with Fox. The stage was Final-D and I ended up 3 stocking him. He quickly left disappointed and now we are very close friends.

 

[Super Shadow Brawler 99]

Good story Jon, that's the way things are suppose to go. If your bad a brawl, your just bad. It doesn't have to resort to name calling and pointless talk about how some characters are cheap. Maybe Ness and Lucas PK thunder can be cheap sometimes, but they aren't that cheap. In fact, no one really plays with Lucas a lot because they are bad with him and can't get pass his weaknesses. If he really is cheap don't you think more people with use him to their advantage like''other'' characters who will remain nameless. It took me some time to learn to play with Lucas well, I faced many defeats and many SD , but I still kept my cool and didn't complain about it. So yeah Ness and Lucas don't suck, people who make up excuses all the time suck.

 

[Conspiricy]

Now, Being the low tier user that I am, I know about cheap.

Here's the most popular johns I hear:

Capt. Falcon:
"omg, you spammed the PAWNCH/knee/uair/yesz all match"
"The knee is broken, CF is broken, you're a noob"

Ganon:
"Ganon is overpowered, and has too much range. noobs only use ganondorf."
"stop spamming uair offstage"
"Stop ledgehogging me"

Sonic:
"[insert all john about cheapness/speed/stage spikes]"

ike:
"overpowered"

Jiggz:
"too overpowered arials"

...Johns are funny as hell.

 

[Minato]

I've never had a noob challenge me in Brawl.
But I have had one in Melee.

This kid criticized me for picking Roy and said that he was overrated and cheap.
All I did was CG his Fox with Roy, did some U-airs, D-tilts, and F-Smashes.

After the match, he said he'd rage quit if I did that one more time.
Then I picked my main, Marth, and beat him bad.

He kinda disappeared after that...

 

[Kirby Phelps (PK)]

Good story Jon, that's the way things are suppose to go. If your bad a brawl, your just bad. It doesn't have to resort to name calling and pointless talk about how some characters are cheap. Maybe Ness and Lucas PK thunder can be cheap sometimes, but they aren't that cheap. In fact, no one really plays with Lucas a lot because they are bad with him and can't get pass his weaknesses. If he really is cheap don't you think more people with use him to their advantage like''other'' characters who will remain nameless. It took me some time to learn to play with Lucas well, I faced many defeats and many SD , but I still kept my cool and didn't complain about it. So yeah Ness and Lucas don't suck, people who make up excuses all the time suck.

Clap clap clap! Well said, well said. Not that many people can use Ness because they dislike his weaknesses and give up on him. While I never gave up on Ness and learned to overcome his weaknesses (sometimes) and work on his strengths. The guy obviously only saw Ness' strengths the entire match and that's why he called Ness cheap.

 

[Pez55]

Ah good old n00bs...they invest every game and we're forced to deal with them

Fun games come at a price

 

[ShinoBee]

I'm the one usually asking for matches lol. Actually, a Ness player beat the living **** out of everyone at my recent school tournament.

At my school, people don't know that Meta Knight is the god tier character (no one used him in the tournament either). They still think it's Snake, or Wolf, Bowser, or some character that's actually easy to beat.

Newbies tend to not piss me off. They're really sweet and adorable, and it's cute when they wanna learn how to play or do a friendly with me. However, the noobs that think they know it all, scream in my ears during my matches (this is true btw, lack of common courtesy much??) and call me cheap (especially when I'm using my ZELDA) tend to piss me off.

Next time I'll consider using Meta Knight next tournament. >:3

 

[REL38]

I remember a few weeks ago my high school's manga club decided to bring Brawl.

When I went to play a match, one of the female club members yelled at me for adding my name/changing the controls for claiming it'll take up space. I already knew where this was going.
To make matters worse, they wanted every match to be FFA and 4 min. time so more people get a chance to play (they at least let me turn off items). I was still beating everyone because they were mostly all newbs. After a match, this one kid walks up to me and says in the most cocky tone of voice, "So . . . you play Snake." He plays in the next match with dark Metaknight and went after only me.

He failed miserably.

The only semblence of any skill was by this one guy who went Ike and was one point behind me after the match was over. He was all like, "Dude, I could so beat you one on one". I told him, "Dude, it was time. You only leeched off my kills."

Needless to say, there was no competition. I won every match with 5-7 points lead and I had only been
playing Brawl for a month.

By the way, I'm not part of the manga club. They're your stereotypical manga/anime geeks. I love manga/anime, but not in excess ~ desu <----- see

 

[TheBlossomingLily]

We have our own Smash Club at our school, and I'm ranked no.2 because of our no.1 player...who mains Ness. Ness is awesome, I'll admit. I guess Pikachu's no match for him (doh! That's why I keep losing to him I guess...)

Actually, we've had moments were people like the previously mentioned barge in and act like the masters of the world or somethin', then start complaining us to death after they lose. They also started calling Pikachu the weakest piece of little--er, I'd rather not finish that sentence.

So I beat them without ever touching the B button (not even to recover!) and they continued to call every character I used cheap (which was Pikachu, Peach, Zelda, and Lucas).

What did I do?

I made them shut up by using the same character that they used. Unfortunately, they started throwing the controllers around and knocked down the Wii System...I ended up getting hit in the head. This is why I never go to tournaments; I get threatened like this a lot...

 

[Jigglymaster]

I wonder why Ness is so low teir then. I mean he does sound pretty cheap.
Anyway, some people at Gamestop who havent even HEARD of the game pick up the game and say that they can beat me because they played Melee before. So he chooses DDD and says, "I heard King DDD is the best character." So I went Samus and started using his aerial side B's. He paused the match and told me to stop "overusing" the missle. So the next few times I used Samus's Zair and he said that it's nt fare because Samus is the only character that can grab in the air.

Ness is bad because he can't hit with most of his strong moves.

1. He can be grab released by the whole cast
2. His recovery is terrible, it gets a small distance and can be gimped
3. Ness' foward smash has a very slow startup and is very hard to hit with.
4. The neutral b move shouldn't even count because theres no way in hell you can hit with it, even PK freeze is hard to hit with.


If they combined Ness's Arieals and Lucas's Ground Game and Special moves together they would make a solid character.