These are so much fun! I found a list I made pre-release:
Mario: “You came up short on dating Peach! I guess the princess’s out of reach!”
Donkey Kong: “I thought the bear extremely dim, but you’re much stupider than him!”
Link: “I haven’t heard you talk all day! I guess you don’t have much to say!”
Samus: “So you’re a woman and not a man? Proving it would please the fans!”
Dark Samus: “Copying Samus is pretty lazy and your dark powers just don’t faze me!”
Yoshi: “Stop that now! Don’t make me beg! I don’t want to watch you lay an egg!”
Kirby: Don’t eat your foes! That’s so obscene! And you don’t know where they have been!
Fox: “Is this a fox dressed like a man? I have to say, I’m not a fan!”
Pikachu: “Your lightning’s fast, your speed astounds, but you can’t hit me in the ground!”
Luigi: “Fighters come from near and far, but none of them know who you are!”
Ness: “This little boy like bats and steak, his psychic powers sure seem fake!”
Captain Falcon: “Your fist-fighting is barely up to par. Did you just forget your car?”
Jigglypuff: “I wouldn’t buy tickets to your show! I think I’ll snooze, your song’s too slow!”
Peach: “There’s nothing much that you can do, without your man to rescue you!”
Daisy: “Yes. I get it. ‘Hi, you’re Daisy.’ You won't shut up! I think you're crazy!”
Bowser: “You’re not too bright, you’re quite a jerk. Your stupid schemes have never worked!”
Ice Climbers: “Vegetables? I’ve had my fill. I think that you two need to chill.”
Sheik: “You were quite a twist in ’98, spoilers to those arriving late!”
Zelda: “You think you’re smart, and if that’s true, I’ve got a quiz made just for you!”
Dr. Mario: “This doctor getup can’t fool me. I bet you don’t have a degree!”
Pichu: “You hurt yourself with every hit! I think it’s time to call it quits!”
Falco: “As a bird I find it jarring, that to fly you need your Arwing!”
Marth: “His hair is blue, he wields a sword. Guys like these make me so bored!”
Lucina: “You’re a her and Marth’s a him, but the differences are very slim!”
Young Link: “You’re not in the right place at all. Finger-painting’s across the hall!”
Ganondorf: “You thought you’d bring Hyrule’s demise ‘til an elf cut you down to size!”
Mewtwo: “You’re striking back? Who would have known? I thought the fan base hated clones!”
Roy: “Another swordsman’s just too much! At least this one has flames and such!”
Chrom: “Another swordsman comes to play, but you won’t get your chance today!”
Mr. Game & Watch: “You’re the oldest in the game: congrats. But as a character, you seem flat!”
Meta Knight: “Your sword and cape and voice won’t curb me, I know that you look just like Kirby!
Pit: “Your legs are short, your wings are wax! Your goddess friend won’t like you back!”
Dark Pit: “Are you a palette swap of Pit? I can’t believe you got away with it!”
Zero Suit Samus: “If bear and bird had lost their game, then you and I would look the same!”
Wario: “You look disgusting and smell quite funny. You’ll give Grunty a run for her money!”
Snake: “Looks like Snake has snuck back in! Let’s make sure to welcome him!”
Ike: “Your sword is big, you’re rather hunky. I’m sure you won’t say no to Grunty!”
Pokémon Trainer: “Team attacks are not quite fair, just like when I fought the bear!”
Squirtle: “Did you leave your squad or disband it? If you left I’ll have you reprimanded!”
Ivysaur: “You mustn’t squirm, you must be still! You’d look nice on my window sill!”
Charizard: “I never thought I’d see the day when Charizard chose to obey!”
Diddy Kong: “You raced the bear in days of yore but he doesn’t like cars anymore!”
Lucas: “What’s wrong, kid? You’re looking glum. Maybe you should see your mum!”
Sonic: “A speedy hedgehog’s not my pick, especially after 2006!”
King Dedede: “March along, King Dedede! There’s no food here, as you can see!”
Olimar: “While your motives seem suspicious, I’ll always find your troops delicious!”
Lucario: “My aura reading’s off the charts! It says I’m beautiful and smart!”
R.O.B.: “You’re not a character, you’re a toy! I think you’re gonna get destroyed!”
Toon Link: “Your boots are small, your head is huge! With those proportions, I’m sure you’ll lose!”
Wolf: “It’s Fox again, this time in gray! I don’t have much else to say!”
Villager: “While you don’t fight, I’d like to bet, you’ll do what you must to pay your debt!”
Mega Man: “You’ve got a wide array of moves, but cross me and you’ll soon feel blue!”
Wii Fit Trainer: “I’m not stepping on the scale! It always lies, it never fails!”
Rosalina & Luma: “You’re very calm, there is no doubt. But maybe you’re just spacing out!”
Little Mac: “If you win, which I doubt, please remember to punch out!”
Greninja: “You wear your tongue like a scarf. It’s pretty gross! I’m gonna barf!”
Mii Fighters: “With so many fighters in the game, playing as yourself is lame!”
Palutena: “After your reboot, I don’t like how, you acted holier than thou!”
Pac-Man: “While it’s true I eat a lot, I’ve never tried to eat a dot!”
Robin: “To win the fight, you have to look, at your foe, not in your book!”
Shulk: “I’ll give to you this failing mission, stop the ‘Grunty’s winning’ vision!”
Bowser Jr.: “Someone kick this screaming brat, I think it’s time he had his nap!”
Duck Hunt: “A dog and duck who fight together? I’m flashing back to eggs and feathers!”
Ryu: “What do you get from fighting streets? If the asphalt’s hard, you’ll break your feet!”
Ken: “A blond Ryu takes the stage. Are you having much more fun this way?”
Cloud: “You think you’re great, but you’re no prize. Your resume is filled with lies!”
Corrin: “The bird becomes a dragon too, but for a longer time than you!”
Bayonetta: “All right, sister, here’s the sitch: Grunty is the alpha witch!”
Inkling: “I had an inkling you’d be in. Get ready now, the game begins!”
Ridley: “How’d you get your Smash Bros. gig? I always thought you were too big!”
Simon: “Dracula was nice and tame, but now you’re playing Grunty’s game!”
Richter: “You’re rather strong, you’ve got nice hair, but your dumbness’s one huge cross to bear!”
K. Rool: “Your votes were heard, here comes the king! Who’d like someone so fat and green?”
Isabelle: “Get those papers on my desk! Grunty’s tired, she needs a rest!”
Incineroar: “You’re a mean one, Incineroar: you really are a heel! You’re not as cuddly as the owl or as charming as the seal!”
Piranha Plant: “A potted plant who spits and bites; I guess anyone can join the fight!”
Joker: “I am thou, thou art I. This joker’s 'lame' personified!”
Hero: “O father of the RPG, why must you dress so stupidly?”
Banjo & Kazooie: “The bear and bird are here at last! But Grunty should’ve been in Smash!”