Welcome to Smashboards, the world's largest Super Smash Brothers community! Over 250,000 Smash Bros. fans from around the world have come to discuss these great games in over 19 million posts!
You are currently viewing our boards as a visitor. Click here to sign up right now and start on your path in the Smash community!
Clearly you don't understand the complex character development that makes brawl such a solid and well-balanced game. Its not spamming, its strategy. Like spawn camping, or punching babies and taking their candy. Stupid babies, you can't even eat candy; you're a baby! You'll choke and die. Who gives candy to a baby, I mean honestly?
perhaps you'll forgive their despicable crime
It called playing to win. I'm the best of all my friends, none of them can beat my MK, I'm just that much better than all of them. They just refuse to play real characters. I'm the best in my area, they all agree. I only play on FD, all other stages aren't competitive.![]()
Ok, I think we agree on this a little. The existence of a higher power is possible, but trying to live for a God and shape your morals around it is foolish. If I dedicated my life to the preservation of homophobic unicorns, nobody would take me seriously, even though new species are are discovered often enough. At least then I'm not stating that these unicorns created life and the universe.
The fact that you said shellshifting was taken away ruined the story for meThe Spacie that Pillared PM
Every Smasher
Down in Smashville
Liked PM a lot...
But the Bird,
Who lived just north of Smashville,
Did NOT!
Thehated PM! All the PM scenes!
Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows what he means.
It could be that his Dair wasn't ported over just right.
It could be, perhaps, that his margin for error has now become too tight.
But I think that the most likely reason of all
May have been that his Up B was two units too small!
But,
Whatever the reason,
His Firebird or his Dair,
He sat there in the thread, hating the affair,
Staring at his monitor with a sour, spacie frown
At the warm hearted comments filling the town.
For he knew that every scrub down in reddit beneath
Was busy now, admiring Marth's fancy new sheath.
"And they're playing on stamina!" he snarled with a sneer.
"The BR said 3.5's the 14th! It's practically here!"
Then he growled, with his blue feathers nervously drumming,
"I MUST find some way to stop 3.5 from coming!"
For,
Tomorrow, he knew...
...All the casuals he'd gauge,
Would stay up all night. They'd rush for the home page!
And then! Oh, the noise! Oh, the Noise! Noise! Noise! Noise!
All the spam posts he'd hate more than that wavedash of Roy's!
Then the players, young and old, would flood the boards where we smash.
And they'd crash! And they'd crash!
And they'd CRASH! CRASH! CRASH! CRASH!
They would crash like a DDOS, a bandwidth-clogging feast
Which was something the Bird couldn't stand in the least!"
And THEN
They'd do something
He liked least of all!
Every Smasher down in Smashville, the tall and the small,
Would gather in the social thread, their notifications ringing.
They'd repeat post after post. And the PMBR's praises they'd be singing!
They'd sing! And they'd sing!
AND they'd SING! SING! SING! SING!
And the more the bird thought of this based-PMBR-sing,
The more the Bird thought, "I must stop this whole thing!"
"Why, for 3.2 versions I've put up with it now!
"I MUST stop this update from coming!
... But HOW?"
Then he got an idea!
And awful idea!
THE BIRD
GOT A WONDERFUL, JANKY IDEA!
"All I need is a scapegoat...:
The Bird looked around.
But, since top tiers were a plenty, any would be sound.
Did that stop the old Bird...?
No! The Bird simply said,
"If I can't pick a scapegoat, I'll make one instead!"
So he called his bud, Fox. Then he took a look at the thread
And he started designing around him instead!
THEN
He loaded some capsules
And an old empty box
And snuck into the BackRoom
and he unleashed Star
The the Bird said, "Dont try me!"
And the update's design started down
Towards a path where the spacies
Would readily keep their crown.
All the character pages were dark. Quiet anticipation filled the air.
All the mains were dreaming of sweet buffs without care
When he came to Mewtwo, who's WOOP wasn't fair.
"This is stop number one," the salty Bird hissed
And he climbed into the files, needless to say Magus'd be pissed!
Then he slid down his range. Which was rather absurd.
But, if StrongBad could do it, then so could the Bird.
He got stuck only once, for an Up air or two.
Then he got in an Fsmash, and past the ledge :mewtwo: flew
Where a plethora of tethers all hung in a row.
"These don't match melee," he grinned, "they're the first things to go!"
Then he looked over to Fox, who was eager to shine,
Around the whole cast, each recovery he'd redesign!
Rocket barrels! And Hang time! Ledge Regrabs! Hovers!
Landing lag! Jumpsquat! Projectiles, despite all their lovers!
And he nerfed them in droves. Then the Bird, very nimbly,
Buffed his and Fox's, to NTSC, just like Melee!
Then he slunk to the mid tiers. He wanted to nerf the whole field!
He took away shell shifting! He took away PK Fire on shield!
He cleared away "jank" as quick as a flash.
Why, that Bird even changed Fox's Usmash!
Then he touched up projectiles and exclaimed with glee,
"And NOW!" grinned the Bird, "the only cancel-able laser will be me!"
And the Bird took the paralyzer, and locked away the dash
When he heard the charging of a certain Down Smash.
He turned around fast, and saw Zero Suit Samus!
She seemed melee enough, though her tether was a was minus.
The Bird had been caught by this relative newcomer
Who'd been checking her thread, hoping the change won't be a bummer.
She stared at the Bird and said, "Strong Bad, why,
"Why are you taking by Dash Canceled B? WHY?"
But, you know, that old spacie was so smart and so slick
He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick!
"Why, there's not right, a bug with your Blaster!
"So, Im taking it to my BackRoom, here I'll make your grab faster!"
And his fib fooled the girl. Then he patted her head
And he got her some alt costumes that nerds think of in bed.
And when Zero Suit Samus went off, content with her grab,
HE changed all her throws, quite a low jab!
Then the last think he took as he took to the air,
Was some edge off of his lingering Dair!
He said it's to cover his tracks, the old liar.
The top tiers he left looking nothing like prior.
Then
He did the same thing
To the rest of the cast's moves
Leaving buffs
Much too small
A melee bias, he sure proves!
it was quarter past dawn...
All the smashers, still awake
All the PMBR, still working
When he packed up his .zip file he thinks he forgot Snake,
But he got Diddy! Lucas! Mewtwo! Sonic!
The jank! The Autocombos! All those were quite toxic!
Three thousand strangers watching the thread! Up to the recycle bin prepared to dump it,
He cackled with glee as he was finally rid of that dumb Pit!
"No johns to the scrubs!" he was spacily humming.
"They're finding out now that no changelist is coming!
"They're going to bed! I know just what they'll do!
"Their mouths will hang open after the jank of 3.02
"Then all the whiners down in Smashboards will all cry BOO-HOO!
"That's a noise," grinned the Bird,
"That I simply MUST hear!"
So he paused. And the Bird put his hand to his ear.
And he did hear a sound rising up rather slow.
It started in low. Then it started to grow...
But the thread wasn't sad!
Why, the community was merry!
It couldn't be so!
But it WAS merry! VERY!
He stared down at the changelog!
The Bird popped his eyes!
Then he SD'ed,
Taken back from the shocking surprise!
Most every poster down in the social thread, the tall and the small,
Was singing praises! Without hardly any buffs at all!
He HADN'T stopped 3.5 from coming!
IT CAME!
Somehow or another, it came just the same!
And the Bird, with his metal feet ice-cold all alone on his stoop,
Stood puzzling and puzzling: "Mewtwos are fine with the Woop?
"It came with range nerfs! It came without hover nair!
"It came with nerfs to Shadow Ball, utilt and Bair!"
And he puzzled three hours, till he remembered smash four.
Then the Bird thought of something he hadn't before!
"Maybe PM," he thought, "doesn't need to come from a store.
"Maybe PM... perhaps...means a little bit more!"
And what happened then...?
Well... in the PMBR they say
That Falco's spot on the tier list
Grew three sizes that day!
And the minute his heart didn't feel quite so tight,
He whizzed to the thread through the bright morning light
And he brought the people All Star mode! A ton of fun to say the least!
And he...
..HE HIMSELF....!
The Bird was still liked the least!
Marth's arm hurtbox makes me sad
ew not you
this sounds like incredible fun
well **** nigga add me on skype
Why oh why would you
I thought that shell shifting was from side b?
Man that PlateProp sure is cool.
Good. I've always disliked religion's continued existence.
You scrub, no 1 curr about your salt over Christmas~
tl;dr People hate new things, oh the humanity...
you stirred my soul.
TO PROTECT THE WORLD FROM DEVASTATION
TO UNITE ALL PEOPLE WITHIN OUR NATION
TO DENOUNCE THE EVILS OF TRUTH AND LOVE
TO EXTEND OUR REACH TO THE STARS ABOVE
TEAM ROCKET BLASTS OFF AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT
SURRENDER NOW OR PREPARE TO FIGHT
...we're on a roll.
Roll doesn't rhyme with throw
