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Something bothering you?

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~N9NE~

Smash Master
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Jam chin up bruh! It's better that you told her! Yaowa!

Lash, just talk to her, but are you sure things will work out with the other girl? Do you know she likes you?
 

Dru2

Hail to the King
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I don't think my friend has ever had any romantic interest in me...but hey, it doesn't hurt to try. And besides, even if she says no, i'll be fine without a girlfriend.
 

Dru2

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K, so i think i'll break up with my gf tonite. I have a problem though.
What should i say? (yes i'm asking random people on the internet who i've never met before. no, i don't know why) Seriously, i have no idea how i'm supposed to tell her why i'm breaking up. Yall told me if i tell her there's someone else that would make her angrier.
 

Dru2

Hail to the King
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K, so i broke up with my gf. She took it alot better than i thought i would. Thanks for the help guys!....even though yall didn't really do anything to help.
 

The Cutting Edge

Smash Apprentice
Joined
Sep 4, 2007
Messages
91
Well, guess it wouldn't hurt to try this. I don't really know how to start this..so I'm just gonna flat out say it. It's a bit of a relationship/best friend type issue..hopefully no one judges or anything though I have a feeling it'll seem stupid or pathetic in some sort of sense..anyways..

So I have these two friends that are a couple. Name of the guy is Dolan, name of the girl is Vanessa. I met them both not too long ago, Dolan is the brother of my other friend Kayla, who introduced me to him. And Dolan got with Vanessa in about February who I didn't meet until about 2 1/2 months ago. Cause apparently I used to have a crush on Kayla but that died out after a while, just didn't seem worth it. Anyways, Dolan apparently started having issues with Vanessa in their relationship and Kayla recommended him to ask me cause apparently I've had my share of relationships and I can give my advice and help to provide best I can to have him benefit with Vanessa. And Vanessa too, came to me for advice and I did my best to help. What surprised me is that Dolan listened to me but only for so long and so did Vanessa but she actually put effort. Thing is, that Dolan claims this is his "first real relationship." but that excuse only lasts for so long. Because over time he became a jerk to her and still is but she won't break up with him. (Plot twist is on it's way.) Again, I didn't know what was going on until Vanessa planned on taking a break from Dolan one day, but being friends with them both I kept them both company so that they didn't feel "lonely." So I was chillin' with Dolan during the day for a bit, but spent most of the day with Vanessa. And we really, really got to know each other. Cause apparently that's what Dolan wanted, he wanted Vanessa and I to become good friends, and that night, her and I did. We talked, we found out we had a lot of common interests and whatnot. What I didn't know at the time was how I felt. =/ Cause I guess I felt something there, like I liked her. Though I didn't think about it much until a few days later, so I decided to find out for myself. And I asked her "If you weren't with Dolan, would I have a chance?" She said yes, I would. Which did put my mind at ease. For the time being. Until a few days later she asked me why I asked her that question, if it was because I liked her or if it was because I just wanted to ask. I told her I didn't know at the time and I needed to think. So she let me think for a bit, and over the time I was thinking Vanessa and Dolan were still having their arguments because one afternoon, I got a call from Kayla asking me if I was "trying to steal Vanessa from Dolan" and I have no freakin' idea where she got the idea. So I told her no, cause during the conversation Kayla heard me being brought up and Vanessa telling Dolan "I wish you were more like Andrew!" or something..I dunno. Cause she let it slip that I asked her that question. Pressing on, I told her sometime in the next week why I really asked her that, and yes it was because I liked her. And we had a long conversation as to why, and yeah, she admitted she liked me too, but didn't know what kind so she thought about it too. That was the monday of a week long break between them again. Before it was just a day long break. Anyways, that Thursday came and she felt she was gonna give it another shot with him cause she wanted to "try everything" before being sure..and I accepted it, still being her best friend. I wasn't so disappointed, and I guess I was starting to get over it until the next Monday came again and I guess she was still confused so she asked me again why I like her, the reasons, and she asked me questions..and I answered them truthfully. Most of them were yes or no questions. And she said she'd think about things, so after that while, I let things sit and play out, everything's normal again, though I still have feelings for her, and I don't know what she's thinking. Until about 2 weeks ago..she admits to me she has "good/weird" feelings around me now..and I don't know what to read from it so I just go on about everything normal. Then that Saturday Vanessa apparently gets pissed at Dolan more than ever before and sounds so sure she's gonna break up with him, which was last weekened. Er..2 weekends ago. So she takes a break from him that whole week..spending it with me, cause apparently her and I are supposed to have a "secret friendship" because for some reason me liking Vanessa takes away my freedom of talking to her as my friend according to Dolan and Kayla. And to this day it's still a secret friendship, only to avoid the drama and b****ing from Dolan. Thing is, I've done more for her as a best friend than he has as a boyfriend. She comes to me telling me he's being a jerk, pissing her off, lowering her self-esteem, being unappreciative, and the whole week we were chilling, away from all the drama she got happier and all that. Surprisingly she seemed really sure to break up with Dolan last weekened(This past Saturday.) and I didn't know she was trying..cause she's told me she's tried so many times to break up with him but always falls short because of guilt.(Through out all this Vanessa and I have shared a lot more time together than her and Dolan.) Come Sunday, I hear from Vanessa that Dolan wants to talk to me cause apparently he "missed me" and wanted to talk to me cause him and I haven't chilled in a while..so I get on the phone with them both..we start talking, but over 2 1/2 hours..barely anything is said, they're playing xbox, and I'm just sitting there feeling like the third wheel which made me feel pretty freakin' stupid but yeah, and Vanessa knew why I was really mad. Cause she knew I was pissed that her and Dolan haven't broken up cause she always says she's going to but her actions speak differently. And we had a long talk that night, cause she wanted to know what I wanted. I told her I just wanted her to make the best choice but deep down inside I wanted to tell her I wanted them to break up so the drama, guilt, and negativity to end..but she always she can't let him go because he's like a "lost puppy", cause honestly, Dolan hasn't lived the greatest life, the kid is 15. Plus, what I don't get is that he's a jerk and all that to her, and she keeps threatening to leave him but he always somehow guilts her into staying.(I have a feeling most people will say she's into jerks, stuff like that.) but she's not, she's talked about how most of her ex's(she's had 2 or 3.) were always jerks, and right now Dolan's no different. That's why I've been trying to show her that I'm different, how I can be better than them. Cause she said a small part of her wants to be with me, she wished she met me before him and wasn't involved, and that she wishes things could be different. Thing is they can but it feels like I'm the only one putting effort into it. Because I'm not going to wait around for her forever. And she keeps saying she "loves" him but..hard to believe when she says she feels bad for him and sorry for him, that's not love, that's pity, isn't it? And she says just to enjoy what we have right now, and let time decide what's in store for us, as well as forget all the drama and have everything go back to normal. I don't know what she means..but I guess I'll just act like everything's ok, and one thing she told me is that "Andrew, you have a shot, take advantage of it." which..really confuses me and all that.

I guess what I'm trying to get at is that..she told me she told him the other day "I wish you could act more like another friend of mine, who's caring, and appreciative."..which made me confused. Cause I don't know if she's trying to make him jealous, mess with his head, or make him try harder. Cause if he's just going to try harder..then what the hell am I doing? Because she said herself she knows he's not the right one for her, but why doesn't she DO something about it instead of just sitting there TELLING me about it! It honestly does hurt me to see her like this but god ****, do something, don't just sit there and wait for things. It just feels like I'm the example for Dolan to be better, which makes me wonder if I should try harder or just..let them be. Because at this point I honestly know what I want, but she sure as hell doesn't know what she wants. She tells me I can do anything I wish to have that part of her to grow to want to be with me more but it won't be easy, which I don't doubt. And as for the friendship, it still has to be a secret from Dolan and Kayla, I just don't know what's going on anymore. I guess, I like her a lot, I want to give her and I chance, but I don't know when to take it or how, or when or what type of opportunity it will be.. All I can say is that she wants to break up with him, willing to, but always backs out because of him guilting her. She's told me she enjoys spending time with me, enjoys being around me, and is spending more time with me than with Dolan, which is my goal. In this situation, it seems to make sense that there's no right or wrong thing to do, it's matter of choice, right? I just don't know if I'm making the right choice here, cause I did all my best to help them, especially Dolan, it worked, but only for so long and he has not benefited at all, neither has Vanessa. She needs out but doesn't do anything about it. All she does is take breaks or tries to get rid of him to talk to me. That doesn't do much good cause you're still with them. And should I take advantage of my shot with her, how and exactly can I do to help that part of her grow to want to be with me. I'm already there for her, listening to her problems, helping her, hanging out with her, what more can I do..=/

I just don't know what to do right now, just to sit back and wait, make something happen, force something to happen, or just move on to someone else. Cause I know I really feel for her, and I enjoy everything and time spent with her, I just don't know what to adout her and Dolan as well as her and I, cause I really don't know if I could tell her how I really do feel. Thing is that as long as she's with him, I've got to keep my emotions at least at minimum when telling her cause if I go all out and find out it's not mutual that'll be a lot of heartbreak and disappointment which would just piss me off and I'd rather save that moment until I have to. There's much more I want to tell her but I've only told her so much to this point. All she said is to enjoy what we have, which I do, but I do want more, I'll admit it, I'm selfish, she needs to be with someone that can treat her right, and respect her. But she's not realizing it, at least not as fast as I thought she would..

I truly apologize if this rant/issue pisses anyone off. =/
 

RATED

Smash Lord
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idk... I am thinking about

1. he's really your friend?
2. if you want to continue without giving a ****, then if she doesnt do... forget her since she could play with both of you without even knowing it herself and she gets stupidly confused at a point where you get nothing and lose a friend. if u want to try then do it.

3. Dolan is a real name? since is really weird.

4. u could also get "your time" and think about it and watch as a 3rd person point of view to see how it goes.

but in the end you could be selfish.
 

Reizilla

The Old Lapras and the Sea
Joined
Mar 20, 2008
Messages
13,676
You should have a 3-person, 3-stock Brawl between the 3 of you and the two that aren't knocked out first should be in a relationship.
 

The Cutting Edge

Smash Apprentice
Joined
Sep 4, 2007
Messages
91
idk... I am thinking about

1. he's really your friend?
2. if you want to continue without giving a ****, then if she doesnt do... forget her since she could play with both of you without even knowing it herself and she gets stupidly confused at a point where you get nothing and lose a friend. if u want to try then do it.

3. Dolan is a real name? since is really weird.

4. u could also get "your time" and think about it and watch as a 3rd person point of view to see how it goes.

but in the end you could be selfish.
Good points, Rated. Well let's see..

1. Yeah, he's my friend, he considers me a close friend, but since he knows I like Vanessa, he doesn't want us talking, so her and I have to keep a "secret friendship" which pisses me off..just to avoid drama. So he doesn't know we're still talking.

2. Well, that's for time to decide, I have no idea what's in store for me there.

3. Yeah, Dolan is a real name, I'm as surprised as you too, trust me. Lawl.

4. I've been watching from 3rd person view for the past 2 1/2 months and their relationship has gone to hell while her's and mine has evolved into something better than him and her have. Not gonna lie about it.

@jamlosingthegame: Exactly what do you recommend in that situation? Cause it's something I've been thinking about doing, I just never knew what exactly TO do.

@Rei-Gun: I've actually thought about that. Except wouldn't it make more sense just to have me vs. him? And yeah, it'd be 3 stock. Tourney rules, counter picks, etc. But to be fair I'd make it either best of 5 or 10. He main's Olimar..so..that'll be interesting should it happen.

@Mota: Elaborate please? D:
 

Reizilla

The Old Lapras and the Sea
Joined
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Messages
13,676
Good points, Rated. Well let's see..

1. Yeah, he's my friend, he considers me a close friend, but since he knows I like Vanessa, he doesn't want us talking, so her and I have to keep a "secret friendship" which pisses me off..just to avoid drama. So he doesn't know we're still talking.

2. Well, that's for time to decide, I have no idea what's in store for me there.

3. Yeah, Dolan is a real name, I'm as surprised as you too, trust me. Lawl.

4. I've been watching from 3rd person view for the past 2 1/2 months and their relationship has gone to hell while her's and mine has evolved into something better than him and her have. Not gonna lie about it.

@jamlosingthegame: Exactly what do you recommend in that situation? Cause it's something I've been thinking about doing, I just never knew what exactly TO do.

@Rei-Gun: I've actually thought about that. Except wouldn't it make more sense just to have me vs. him? And yeah, it'd be 3 stock. Tourney rules, counter picks, etc. But to be fair I'd make it either best of 5 or 10. He main's Olimar..so..that'll be interesting should it happen.

@Mota: Elaborate please? D:
But if she's in there, you'll get to see who she gangs up on more and thus know who she really wants, eh?
 

The Cutting Edge

Smash Apprentice
Joined
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Messages
91
But if she's in there, you'll get to see who she gangs up on more and thus know who she really wants, eh?
Hm.. well when you put it that way, it works. But what if it's evenly balanced? Like half the time it's ganging up on me, or half the time it's on him? Plus FFA's take forever. And I wouldn't know what items to use if any..lol I'm thinking just Smash Ball to speed things up. Lol, again, he mains Olimar, she mains Wolf. I split between Falco, Marth, and MetaKnight.
 

Pikaville

Pikaville returns 10 years later.
Joined
Feb 16, 2006
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Cutting edge you need to tell your friend to stop being such an immature baby.

Your friends with both of them right?

He shouldn't be reacting this way at all.
 

Dru2

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I didn't see the word "a" in that whole story.

Anyway, how do yall keep a "secret friendship" from him?
Does he seriously know nothing about yall chillin with eachother?
 

Sephiroths Masamune

Shocodoro Blagshidect
Joined
Nov 21, 2008
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7,683
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In Sephiroth's hands.
@The Cutting Edge:I have a few problems/answers

1.If you get the girl and he doesn't, You better be a more greatful/loving person than he is. If you take her from someone else just to put that person in the same situation that she's already in isn't just trading off. You hurt more than one person in taking that path.

2. If she's just ****ing around like I think she is, give her an ultimatum. Meaning tell her it's either you or him and threaten to leave her. If she chooses him just walk off leave and find someone else, because thats better than dealing with the crap at hand.

3. Don't use Love so loosely at all, if she asks if you love her tell her you like her. Love is too strong of a word to say just openly, I don't even use love in my relationships.
 

The Real Gamer

Smash Hero
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I HATE the feeling you get in your stomach when you send a risky text message. I just told the girl I've liked for a while that I want to be with her and I'm not sure if it was the right move...

Oh well that's life I guess. Living through the highs and lows.
 
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