SSBM: Academy of smash (Wow! It's updated!)

[NESSBOUNDER]

This Prelude sucks. It is really bad, and completely manky in comparison to the rest of my fic. Do not let first impressions sway you, and keep reading. It gets better, trust me.


PRELUDE

In the middle of all the paralel dimentions of the Nintendo univerce is a big, dark, nothingness that is actually a big, dark, void. It just looks like a nothingness because there is nothing in it.
Anyhow, floating aimlessly in this black void of blackness was one of the most powerfull forms of life ever. The Master hand.
The Master hand could create entire worlds in a matter of days, that was how powerfull it was.
But the hand was getting bored of hanging around in the void doing nothing (would't you?) and began to take some kind of action in order to spice up it's life.

M hand: oh ******** imbecile of a brother of mine, do you
remember the Super Smash tournements we used to
hold? we had so much fun with that last one, didn't we?

Out of the voidy darkness floated another hand, a left one.
The Crazy hand jerked around like a wounded fish of some kind, emitting short bursts of demented energy every now and again.

C hand: WeHEheAHEerH! I lIkE SnifFy BloUsES!

M hand: I'll take that as a "yes"

C hand: yes, the last Smash tourney was runny on
scones :******:

M hand:...er...aaaanyway, I have this brilliant Idea, because I'm
so brilliant, that will possibly eliminate boredome from our
dexterous systems for a very long time...

C hand: WhWEE! RuBBeR DooGiE AnD TEH PHoSSaD SToNeFish!

M hand: I am not going to reveal exactly what I have in mind, but
if you insist on putting it that way, you'll love it I bet you.
Now make yourself usefull and deliver these envelopes
to their respective guests.

C Hand: (has a sudden spaz attack and flops around as if it's
glove is on fire) OoH! LooKie BrOthEr! I hAs To fluff!
(farts out the back of it's glove)

M hand: you sicken me...


What is the Master hand's brilliant idea?
Will it really be as cool as it claims?
Find out in the next chapter, CHAPTER ONE

 

[NESSBOUNDER]

If you like this, please tell me.
This is supposed to be a humerous fic and will include all of the smashers, but "star" my favourites (you'll find out who they are eventually)

 

[megasonic34]

Wo wonder what this is going to be about.

 

[NESSBOUNDER]

Hey! thanks for replying, megasonic34. Don't worry, it is going to have a plot.

 

[NESSBOUNDER]

SSBM: ACADEMY OF SMASH!!! (Rated G8+ Mild course language, mild sexual references, contains material that may disturb some readers.)
CHAPTER ONE

Weeks had passed since the prelude, the Master hand had worked itself to the bone developing its brilliant idea, and Crazy hand managed to successfully deliver all the invitations. (amazing as it seems)
After the Master hand had exercised its amazing talent, the black void was transformed into a beautiful dimension of its own, with green grass, lush fields and wonderful pathways tiled with red tiles.
In the center of this new dimension sat the biggest, most awsome huge building you ever saw.

M hand: isn’t it wonderful, Crazy? I did this all by myself

C hand: it’s great, but what is it for?

M hand: oh, you’ll find out soon enough, now shut up and look smart! the smashers will be arriving any moment now!

Just as Master hand had predicted, a green pipe rose slowly out of the ground before them, a bulge traveled up its shaft, and then the Mario Bros. characters and Donkey Kong where spewed onto the grass in an ungraceful heap along with all their luggage.

Mario: mamma ,mia! I must have hit a my head a thousand times on that trip!

Luigi: hahaa! I got out first, so you’re a rotten-a-egg! PIGGY! (pokes Mario in the stomach)

Mario: DOOH!

Peach: stop this childish behavior at once, you two! the next person to embarrass me will suffer the royal parasol up their pasta hole!

Bowser: bwahahaah! you couldn’t cause pain to a bHAGK!@$ (gets a Parasol shoved down his throat)

Yoshi: ... yoshi

M hand: aah! the early ones, I’ll tell you all what’s to come once the others arrive, until then just make yourselves comfortable…

D.K.: duuh…I thinks Bowser needs help

Bowser: (rolling around, choking on Peach’s brolly) GAAAAGH!

M hand: oh, he’ll be alright

Dr. Mario: he is a sick! he is a sick in the NECK!

C hand: eherherher!

Suddenly a screeching sound filled the air and Captain Falcon proceeded to crash -land his Falcon Flyer into a fountain, filling the air with the smell of burning metal

C. Falcon: Yo! aren’t I just THE stud? (he hops out onto the grass and the Falcon Flyer explodes)

Peach: ha! it’s the “Falcon Fire” now!

C. falcon: Noooooooooooo!

There was a swooping sound as two Arwings shot past and dropped Fox and Falco who used their reflectors to fall slowly to the ground.

Falco: nice entrance, Fox, but you just can’t compete with my style!

Fox: you are so totally up yourself, I bet if I gave you a torch, you could tell us the colour of your kidneys!

Falco: now, now…don’t get aggressive just because I’m cooler than you at all times…

Just then a huge wind rocked the trees as the air was torn apart to form a portal out of which Ness was propelled with so much force that he careered into Falco and knocked him unconscious.

Ness: whoa! s-sorry Mr. Falco!

The small boy from Onett removed his luggage off the limp bird’s chest.

Fox: hah! that was rich!

Dr. Mario: he is a sick! he is a sick in the TORSO!

Kirby arrived on a warp star. Witnesses claimed that he purposely directed his landing so it smashed into Bowser, propelling Peach’s brolly out of his throat like an arrow.
Bowser suffered severe burns and Captain Falcon underwent Dr. Mario’s surgery to remove the parasol from his leg.

The Ice Climbers arrived in a very unspectacular fashion ( they just “turned up” somehow)
and Samus made a graceful landing in her weird space ship.

The ZELDA characters descended from the sky via magic pillar, with the exception of Gannondorf, who did the opposite and rose from the depths of H%ll.

A PC then fell from the sky and broke open on impact, freeing the four Pokemon.

Mr. Game And Watch appeared in a similar fashion to the Ice Climbers, as did Marth and Roy.

All the smashers turned and faced the Master hand.

M hand: greetings, smash brothers! I have called you all here today to offer you the chance to escape from the chaos of your respective dimensions and take a comfortable holiday at the ACADEMY OF SMASH!
I will freeze time in your worlds until you return to them, and you will be living in smash tournament conditions at all times.
That means no injuries, no pain, no dying…and you will all be equal in size. (by smash standards)

The Master hand waved and the smaller characters grew a bit and the big ones shrank. Mario stayed the same.

M hand: Smash tournaments will be held regularly, and you will be able to hold your own at will, I have simulated the levels, so you won’t be needing to adapt to battle conditions at all.

Applause

M hand: your dormitories are especially customized for your comfort, You won’t be able to do anything today so I suggest you all take a good nights rest and I’ll fill you in on the details tomorrow.

More applause

C hand: OHOHOOOH! I UNDERSTAND WHAT IT’S FOR! ROTFL!PP!N CHOICENESS!

Dr. Mario: he is a sick! he is a sick in the…

All: SHUT UP DOC!

Dr. Mario: mamma mia!

M Hand: er-hem…now show the smashers to their dorms, please, wireframes!

Two female wireframes walked out of the building and motioned to the smashers to follow them.
Filled with excitement and curiosity, the Nintendo characters did as they where told.


There, I got the boring bit out of the way, hope you liked it.

 

[Murlock]

Wow, I haven't been in Creative Minds for a while.

Anyway, the fic is all right. Since it's a humorous fic it doesn't neccesarily have to make much sense or anything so just go with it. But as always, I'll need to see more of it to tell...

Keep Going!:D

 

[disastermaster link]

This isn't a bad start. In fact, it reminds me of how a fic I wrote a while ago started (in terms of writing quality, plotbuilding). That fic won me a couple Fan-Fic Awards. Keep going!

 

[NESSBOUNDER]

Yay! I got readers! And disastermaster link, I just have to get past the Master hand's rules and boring rehearsed speeches and then this will really get into full fling.

glad you like it!:D

 

[NESSBOUNDER]

Here’s the next update.

RIIIIIING!!!

Fox awoke with a start as the alarm went off. His first Instinct was to grab for his blaster and helmet.
Groping about, he opened his slanted eyes to see that he was not on the Great Fox anymore.

Fox: oh, yeah, I remember. I’m in the Academy of Smash…how stupid of me.

Fox rose up out of his bed, uncurling his body out of his sleeping position. He gazed around the room filled with machinery and things he liked. He noticed Falco sleeping in a straw nest on the other side of the room, snoring like a pig.

Fox: (thinks) just like Falco to be sleeping when there’s business to attend to!

The sneaky vulpine pilot crept to his luggage bag and pulled a pair of bagpipes out of them.
After he trotted stealthily over to his sleeping comrade, Fox proceeded to play “blow the wind southerly” full bull at point-blanc range to Falco’s head.

The effect was instant pudding.

Falco: WHARK! (moults most of his tail feathers off and jumps his high jump, right into the ceiling fan)

Fox: ooh! it appears to be raining down, you lazy excuse for a duck!

Falco: WAS THAT YOUR IDEA OF A SICK JOKE?

Fox: no, but I do think I play the bagpipes well, don’t I? (starts playing again)

Bagpipes: BLOU BLOU BLUO#!%!H!

Falco: AARGH! I’m getting out of here! (runs out in his boxers)

Fox: tut, tut! look at that, he doesn’t even bother to dress properly, shame…

In the main hall, all the smashers where gathered together to listen to the Master hand’s next speech.

M hand: Smash Brothers and Sisters! I must familiarize you all with the rules before I let you all go and have breakfast.
First of all, there will be no beating each other up outside of battle.

Some people in the crowd went “aaaw”

M hand: There will be no crude language or actions permitted that may offend the cute characters, and no discrimination of other people’s worlds.

More “aaaaws” especially from the villains.

M hand: also, I will ask you to group yourselves into “teams” of four. These teams will be your “families” throughout your whole stay. They will be utilized in two-on two tournaments and the members will choose which two fighters will go into these battles. For more details about this, check the pamphlets in your dorms.
I will give you three days to choose your members.
Now have fun!

There was a murmur of excitement from the smashers about this new idea.

M hand: inform me when you have chosen your teams. Now the cafeteria is that way, and…

Everyone had already gone.

Master hand: fine...I won't help then...

 

[NESSBOUNDER]

Here's the next update...


The cafeteria was just as noisy as you would expect it to be, with Mario, Yoshi and Kirby bolting down food in a race to see who the first one to get heartburn was.
So far, Mario was cheating.

Mario: OoooOoOh! My aching heart! it a pains me! itsa making me de WRITHE in agony! hoooo!

Dr. Mario: you is a sick! you is a sick in the HEART! I will need to operate! (shoves a megavitamin down Mario's mouth, causing him to upchuck all his breakfast)

Kirby: Mario has to start from the beginning again!

The three non-psychic Pokemon had all been given translators, and where talking up a storm, And the women sat in a corner, chatting about bras and the perfect boyfriend, Captain Falcon was desperately trying to impress them by standing on his table and doing an Irish jig wearing only his tight undies much to the amusement of the Ice Climers who had begun to scale the cafeteria walls.

Fox sat quietly at his own private table, nibbling on a hash brown.
He was trying to figure out who to team up with.

Falco: feeling left out, Fox?

Fox: wha?

Falco was standing next to his table accompanied by Samus, looking down at him in a smug way.

Falco: Me, Samus and Captain Falcon are teeming up to form the Spacer Team!(points to the lunatic racer on top of his table)
and we only need one more member... ...

Fox: can I be with you guys?

Samus: no

Fox: huh? why not?!

Falco: because we don't need someone who mimics my techneques, only even weaker.

Fox:

Falco: your moves suck, Fox, compared to mine, they are completely useless. All your power is in the wrong place, and you CAN'T SPIKE!

Fox experienced a flashback from the last Smash Bros. tournament, he remembered battling Falco and getting knocked off the edge.
He used a firefox to get back up, but in mid-move Falco jumped up and hit him with the most powerful spiking attack he had ever felt. This lost him the match and the last thing he heard before hitting the bottomless pit was Falco's triumphant laughter.

Falco: I'm thinking of going to ask Kirby, instead! hahaha! see you round, loser.

He spun on his heel and strided off to find the pink puff ball at the heartburn racer’s table.

Fox was devastated. Falco had just told him to his face what he had feared the most.
He was weak…

A hand gently touched his tail and a sweet, unfamiliar voice reached his ears.

???: Fox, don’t listen to them, don’t let them tell you that

Fox spun around and found himself staring into the dot-like eyes of Ness. He had never had much to do with the boy from the start and wondered why he was comforting him.

Fox: Ness?

Ness: I had to go through the same thing after what happened to my yo-yos in Melee. But I soon found out that I was still as strong as ever, if not sronger!

Fox: But Falco is right, I am weak compared to him and his…spike…

Ness: have you seen Falco’s recovery? It is incredibly poor! What good is having a spike when you can’t recover from being knocked off the edge? Falco is also a slow runner, which prevents him from fighting with flow and style. His throws are weak and his up and forward aerial offensive aren’t even worth it! And you think he is strong? You can attack with amazing speed and keep your opponents constantly off balance while racking up lots of damage at the same time. Falco’s high jump is easy to counter and makes his aerial attacks hard to connect, I would say that you are just as strong as that birdbrain if not more so.

Fox: hey you’re right! h-how do you know so much about battle?

Ness: I have been training lately, and since the last tournament I decided to start paying more attention to my moves. Now I have developed lots more combos than I ever had before, and I have discovered a use for every single one of my moves.
And I could do the same for you if you team up with me…

Fox: Right! let’s team up, and we’ll teach each other everything we know. We’ll show Falco who’s weak!

Ness: yup! we sure will!

Fox: so,…what’s your dormitory like?

Ness: come on, I’ll show you! I’d like to see yours, too!

Fox received a warm, tingly sensation on the inside upon hearing these words.
He was not weak.
And he had made a new friend.

 

[PsiFlameMaster]

cool. this is a relativly new fic but i see a bright future for it. Ness is also one of my Fave. four smashers also! :D post the next update soon.

 

[NESSBOUNDER]

WHEW! thank you for replying, PsyFlameMaster...I was beginning to think no-one cared!

Next update around midday(hopefully)

 

[PsiFlameMaster]

can u update ASAP? im getting kinda bored cuz not many ppl are updating. cu later!

 

[NESSBOUNDER]

Sorry that I havn't been able to update for the last two days. Here's the next update finally.

 

[NESSBOUNDER]

CHAPTER 1: PART 1 (the parts start from here, sorry)

It had been three days already and the Master hand realized that the smashers needed a bit more time to select their teams.

The intercom crackled to life as the giant glove prepared to address his guests once more.

M hand: testing, testing… is this thing on? (BOM BOM BOM) oh, yes it is…er-hem…Smash Bros., I have decided that I will give you three more days to get yourselves into teams. And I understand that there will be one of you left over.
whoever this unlucky person is, I will think of something to do with them. Now keep on making friends. Oh, and Bowser will be versing Mewtwo in five hours time. Thank you for listening.

Meanwhile, Fox and Ness where training against a level nine computer Mario.

Ness: watch out for his annoying punches! Keep him away from you with your roundhouse kick!
( > A attack) Now use Fox illusion, great! now hit him with an aerial split kick! Watch out for his firebrand attack, now grab him and use the you-know-what combo!

Fox threw C-Mario onto the ground and used the laser rain throw ( throw \/ ) and immediately followed it up with a flip kick smash, K.O.ing C-Mario into the background of the Pokemon stadium.

Fox: whew! You are one shrewd little strategist, Ness, I would never have thought of any of those combos or maneuvers by myself!

Ness looked at Fox on the screen that showed the battles, It was so strange for him to be talking to an animal which he had grown up knowing as a woodland creature.

Fox: what’s wrong, kid? you look all wound up in something…

Ness: it just feels odd talking to a fox like this…

Fox: oh that’s right, in your dimension, the animals are still unevolved.

Ness: I feel so much better now, kind of.

Fox: I reckon humans look pretty weird myself!

Ness: er…You’ve got the basics down to scratch really well, Fox, but now is the time to work on a maneuver I call the “entrance”

Fox nodded at Ness’s quick change of subject.

Ness: an entrance is a combo of moves to use as soon as the enemy is put in front of you. It is supposed to rack up lots of damage relatively safely without the enemy damaging you too much in the process.

Ness walked into the training room, chose a level nine C-Bowser as his opponent, and entered the final destination level as Fox watched him from the screen.

The first thing Ness did was run up the computer and attacked it with a sparkle rush attack, (running A) sending it into the air , he then side-stepped as C Bowser used a Bowser bomb,and grabbed the Koopa as he got up from the laggy attack.
Ness threw his opponent on the ground and used a PK firestorm attack. ( throw \/ ) Immediately after C-Bowser was sent up into the air, Ness shot a PK fire at him so it connected just before he hit the ground.
As C-Bowser burned, Ness rolled behind him and executed a punch, punch, kick combo and then rapidly hit Bowser with his piston kick. (crouching A)

Fox was surprised to see that this entrance had dealed out a respectable 46% damage.

Ness finished C-Bowser off and stepped out of the simulator.

Ness: see? we’ll work on yours later, I’d like to see the match between the real Bowser and Mewtwo.

Fox: my thoughts exactly, I hope Mewtwo canes his sorry hide.

Fox and Ness raced off down the corridor to the battle stadium, Fox had to deliberately run slowly so as Ness could catch up.

Fox: can’t you run a little faster?

Ness: puff…I cant help it if I , puff, am getting a bit flabby lately.

Fox: eat more mice

Ness: UH?

Fox: er… heh… eat more fruit.

They made it to the stadium in record time, which was mainly due to Fox growing impatient and carrying Ness the rest of the way.
Upon entering the crowded room with the huge hologram projector in the middle of it, their ears where filled with the sounds of cheering crowds, even though there where only about 23 smashers inside it.

Fox: I want to get as close the action as I can (sits in front row)

Ness: let’s sit in the middle, it’s better for my eyes, or so says my mum…

The hologram sprang into action, depicting Bowser and Mewtwo facing off on the Fountain of Dreams, the commentator said a few words before shouting FIGHT! at the top of his lungs.
Fox and Ness watched in anticipation as the first tournament began!

 

[PsiFlameMaster]

Cool! Mewtwo is gonna kick Bowser's ***! can't wait for he next update!

 

[NESSBOUNDER]

CHAPTER 1: PART 2

Bowser eyed his opponent with his evil eyes (his eyes are just as evil as he is) and pointed rudely towards the floating Pokemon with his claw.

Bowser: I’m going to pound you!

Mewtwo: fool

Bowser: I’ve said this stage wasn’t big enough to swing a cat, and now I’m gonna prove my point!

Mewtwo: fool…

Bowser: what are you going to do, think at me?

Mewtwo: fool…

Bowser: COWARD! hAAHAHA!

Mewtwo: your mother was a skink.

Bowser: WHAT? I’ll smash you, boy!

Mewtwo: (thinks) fool…

The battle was on! Bowser charged right at Mewtwo and tried to lunge at him, but the wily Pokemon teleported away and grabbed him from behind.
Bowser was smashed onto the ground by Mewtwo’s brain whacker (throw \/) and then hit by a psychoblast. (smash forward)
Bowser recovered from this assault quickly and blew a fire breath at Mewtwo, stopping him in his tracks.
Mewtwo decided to change his tactics before the demented turtle managed to hit him with any REAL attacks.
Teleporting away, Mewtwo began to charge a shadow ball as Bowser shouted all sorts of things at him.

Bowser: lilly-livered chicken head!

Mewtwo: fool…

Mewtwo dashed towards Bowser and used a dark shove attack, but Bowser blocked it and grabbed him.

Bowser: Raah!(throws Mewtwo behind him)

Mewtwo teleported onto the topmost platform and jumped as Bowser tried to connect a twisted headbutt. (aerial up A) He fell through it on his way down and attacked with a meteor kick, sending Bowser onto the bottom right platform.
As the Koopa got up, Mewtwo sucked him into a stella force (smash up) and propelled him into the air, then whacked him around with some aerial tail whips before dodging a Bowser bomb and finishing his opponent by stunning him with disable and blowing him off the edge of the screen with a half-charged supernova. (smash \/ )

This claimed one of Bowser’s two stock.

Bowser got his revenge three seconds later by smashing Mewtwo with a hornsmash (smash foreward) as the Pokemon taunted, carting him into the sky.

Mewtwo fell off his little cloud while Bowser made the same mistake of taunting after a K.O., and charged a vengeful shadow ball right against Bowser’s scaly hide.

By the time Bowser managed to escape from the shadow ball’s wrath, he was on enough damage to be K.O.ed by a powerful attack. Which was unfortunate, as he didn’t see Mewtwo’s hand shoot out before he was grabbed.

The genetically engineered Pokemon hoisted Bowser into the air and shot heaps of tiny shadow balls at him. (I call this shadow gun attack)
Bowser was going to slash Mewtwo as soon as he landed, but he didn’t expect to have the aforementioned shadow ball slammed into his stomach.

Bowser flew off the stage, and Mewtwo won the battle.

Mewtwo: fool…


As the two combatants where teleported back to the Academy, Fox glanced to his right to see who was sitting next to him. He saw a white outline that could only belong to Mr. Game and Watch, and he was bolting down 2D popcorn with such ferocity that Fox could clearly see that he was upset about something.

Fox: what’s up, flatso?

G&W: nobody likes me. The only people who have talked to me since I got here are you and Pichu. But even Pichu turned out to be too good for me and went to talk to Gannondorf instead. Why does everyone hate me so?

Fox: because you’re boring and you’re 2D?

G&W: exacly!

Fox felt sorry for the little black man and leaned back over to Ness.

Fox: psst, Ness, do we want Mr. Game and Watch on our team?

Ness’s little black eyes lit up like little black eyes that have lit up. He tried to talk with a mouthful of chips, spraying crumbs every which way.

Ness: (with full mouth) HEWW YHEAH!

Fox, taken aback from Ness’s enthusiastic reaction, turned back to Mr. Game and Watch and asked him if he wanted to join their team.

G&W: (spraying shards of 2D popcorn all over Fox) HEWW YHEAH!

Fox flicked the crumbs of chips and popcorn out of his fur and grumbled something about shampoo, whereas Ness literally pounced on Mr. Game and Watch and smothered him with greetings and tips.

Three down and one more to go.

 

[PsiFlameMaster]

cool! 2D popcorn... and ness talking with his mouth full... hahahhaahhahaahhaah!!!!!!!!! Mewtwo rules!!! wonder who will be their last team mate?
*crosses fingers and chants*
Please be Mewtwo...
Please be Mewtwo...
Please be Mewtwo...
Please be Mewtwo...
Please be Mewtwo...
Please be Mewtwo...
Please be Mewtwo...

 

[disastermaster link]

This story is quite entertaining. It is obvious that you are British, nessbounder, but those quirks in your language make it even more entertaining. I like the way this is going. Keep it up, you'll eventually get plenty of readers.

 

[NESSBOUNDER]

I am definately not British, old chap.:D
I'm Australian, but I'm glad you like my writing style!

PsyFlameMaster, I'm sorry but Mewtwo is not the fourth member. however, I'm going to include him as an "almost" main charachter. (I like him too, he's cool)
Next update sometime today, unless something happens.

 

[NESSBOUNDER]

CHAPTER 1: PART 3

Days passed and Mr. Game and Watch took Ness’s tutorial and was turned into a deadly fighter in no time, Most of the teams had fully or partly gotten together. So far there was:

The Mario Brotherhood ( Mario, Doc Mario, Luigi, Yoshi.)

The Spacers (Falco, Capt. Falcon, Samus, Kirby.)

The Swordsmen (Link, Young Link, Marth, Roy.)

Magic Mystics and co. ( Mewtwo, Zelda, Ice Climbers, Pikachu.)

Bowser, Gannondorf, and D.K. had gotten together to crate the three-quarters-complete Ten Ton Team.

Bowser: bah! We only have one more member to go, and none of the left-overs are heavy enough to qualify as a Ten Tonner. I should have grabbed Adult Link.

Gannondorf: er… I have been looking around, and I think I have someone who might fill our gap…

Bowser: It had better not be Peach.

Gannondorf: almost, Bowser, not PEACH…

The dormitory door swung open to reveal…

Bowser: PICHU?!?$

D.K.: duuh…pICHU?

Gannondorf: hehe…Pichu…

Pichu: hewo! I wanna join up wif you guys!

Bowser: ARE YOU CRAZY? THIS IS PICHU! WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?!

Gannondorf: well…look at us, big, slow, lag on almost all of our attacks…what if we had to face a really fast team? I think Pichu is a great backup. And besides, he’s so cute…

Bowser: grrr…fine! Let’s call ourselves the Ten Tonners with backup

Pichu: wheee! I get to be a Ten Tonner! isn’t dat gweat Mr. Dorf?

Gannondorf: please don’t call me that.

Pichu: O.K. O.K… Now beat me up.

All: uh?

Pichu: beat me up! I wanna be hurted!

Bowser: you like being bashed?

Pichu: oh, yeah! Now pummel me blue!

Bowser: …No.

Pichu: I WANT YOU TO SMASH ME! THAT’S WHAT I CAME HERE FOR!

Gannondorf: oh alright, I’ll beat you up. but only if you wash my dormitory and polish my boots and armour.

Pichu: it’s a deal! now kick my hiney!

On the other side of the Academy, Fox was sprinting back to Ness’s dorm with grave news.

Fox: Ness! there’s only two smashers left!

Ness: (building card tower with baseball cards.) oh, who?

Fox: they both suck, but choose between Peach or Jigglypuff.

Ness inhaled several baseball cards with excitement.

Ness: JIGGLYPUFF! koff, hack, snort, GET JIGGLYPUFF, HURRY!

Fox: huh? But Jigglypuff is a wimp!

Ness: DON’T ARGUE WITH ME, GO AND GET JIGGLYBLEAH! wheeze, koff, hargk!

Fox: whoa, whoa! I’m going!

Fox ran back towards the main hall, wandering all the time if jigglypuff was really as weak a he thought, Ness was never wrong.

The last two smashers sat unhappily in the great hall, waiting to be asked into a team. Jigglypuff was sitting on the floor, looking sad, and Peach was sitting on Jigglypuff, also looking sad.

Fox sprinted up to both, and Peach smiled, knowing that she was going to be chosen. Fox reached down and yanked jiggly out from under the princess, causing a royal to fall.
Peach: how dare you! I won’t forget this, Fox! I won’t rest until I wear you around my neck! The curse of Peach Toadstool is upon you! AHAHAHAHAHAHAAAH! (flies off on a broom)

Fox: Jigglypuff, do you want to be on our team?

Jigglypuff’s eyes began to fill up with tears and she shoved her hand into her mouth.

Jigglypuff: HEWW YHEAH!

Fox: how did I know that was coming?

Upon returning to the dorm, Ness explained to Fox about Jigglypuff’s incredible combo potential and powerful smash attacks.

Ness: and blah blah blah etc etc and then she finishes them off with the fully charged rollout.

Fox: hmm!

Jigglypuff: can I really do all that?

Ness: of course! get into the trainer and I’ll show you.

Fox: wait up Ness… what will our team name be?

Ness stopped and racked his brains before Mr. Game and Watch spoke up.

G&W: the Outcasts!

Ness: hey! I like it

Fox: I don’t

Ness: well it suits us. I am considered cr*ppy because of my wonky jump, no-one likes Mr. G, you where accused of being weak and where rejected by Falco, and Jigglypuff is underestimated.

Fox: yeah, whatever, we could be called the Floppy Cake Bakists for all I care.

And so the Outcast Team are finally together and out to show the world that they really are strong fighters. ( you also know who my favorite characters are now, so there. Make me a banner.)…( only joking, hahaha!, not funny.)

 

[NESSBOUNDER]

by the way, this fic is not just going to be about Ness, Fox, Mr. Game and Watch and Jigglypuff bashing everyone up.
As it progresses some very weird things are going to happen.
MUHAHA!

 

[NESSBOUNDER]

CHAPTER 2: PART 1
A strange turn of events.

Mr. Game and Watch was woken by the alarm. He beeped and got out of his “bed” that was actually a thick piece of cardboard.
Turning the flat side of his body to face the North, he walked out his door to the hallway.
Mr. Game and Watch could move in any direction, but his edges always stayed in one position. He could turn the flat side to suit his needs. (I don’t want to explain this, but if you really want to know what I mean, play as him and pick up a hammer, then turn around. There, that’s what I’m talking about.
If you still don’t get it you can drink soap and die. (um, that would be all of you?)
Anyway, Mr. Game and Watch went to see if Ness or the rest of his friends wanted to walk with him.

Fox’s dorm was interesting, Falco was standing in a doorway, wearing boxers and shouting to Fox who was also shouting about something.

Falco: stop hogging the shower!

Fox: get lost! I still have to condition my tail!

Falco: gawd! how long does it take to wash one stupid tail?

Mr. Game and Watch silently closed the door and went to see Ness.
He had to turn his edge 80 degrees to the right in so his arms actually protruded from his body enough to grab the door knob. (his arm won’t come out of his “body” unless it is aligned with his edge, think about it.)

Ness was talking to Jigglypuff while tying a ribbon onto her back, she couldn’t reach.

G&W: did you hear the alarm?

Ness: yeah, it sounded loud so it must be really important.

Jigglypuff: where’s Fox?

G&W: he’s still washing up.

Ness: I get up at quarter to six in the morning and do push ups, I showered long ago! Why is he so fit?

Fox burst through the door, smelling like a rhododendron.

Fox: hehe! I used up all the hot water and soap!

Ness: so I smell…

Fox: I stole Falco’s towel and hid it under the bed! He’ll never look for it there!

Ness: …Let’ get to the great hall.


The great hall was filled with smashers and wireframe servants. Master hand floated gravely above the scene.

M hand: Smash Bros., I have some terrible news. The tournaments may not start yet due to a mistake made by my stupid brother who is ********.

C hand: I aM nOt ReTaRTEd! (repeatedly bashes himself against a pillar)

M hand: Anyway, my silly brother has accidentally released the ten Smash spirits kept within the core of Final Destination. These spirits are highly dangerous and will no doubt try to harm anyone engaging in combat on any stage at any time.

Silence.

M hand: The spirits are very, VERY, powerful, and usually create the surreal backgrounds of the Final Destination stage. They like to hide in small cracks and spaces. I will have a reward for any team who manages to defeat one.

Interested mumbles.

M hand: If you encounter one of these ghosts it will try to trap you in a dream world, to escape is easy, you must simply yell “abort me” but to defeat them one must face the dream and conquer it.

Fox’s bounty hunter instincts filled him. He took a sideways glance at the Spacer Team, who smiled at him in a sly fashion.

M hand: on the other hand, (ha ha bad pun) Peach is now officially second in command. Give her a clap.

Everyone: no WAY!

Peach: I may not be in any tournaments, but I would rather order you all around…hahaha!

She shot a decidedly evil glare at Fox, who began to sweat, visibly.

Fox: I will not let her scare me, I will not let her scare me, I will not etc, etc.

M hand: well, that’s all, be on the look out and be careful. Now go have breakfast.

Breakfast was very tense for Fox. He kept glancing at Samus, who he was sure, under her helmet, was watching him too.

Ness was bolting down food like there was no tomorrow. He even stole one of Mr. Game and Watch’s 2D hash browns and cut his tongue on it.

Jigglypuff: so,Fox, are we going to hunt these spirits?

Fox: Ness says he’s game and so does Flatman.

Jigglypuff: I was hoping we’d do it! it sounds like fun!

Fox: this egg is bad! I’m going into the kitchen to give whoever cooked this a piece of my mind!

Ness: me too! the eggs are terrible!

G&W: I’m coming with you, I want to see the kitchen…

Jigglypuff: me as well!

Two minutes later they where in the kitchen, and it was completely machine operated.

Fox: huh! I should have known this place was run by a computer!

Jigglypuff looked at her reflection in the glass door of a shiny oven

Jigglypuff: HEY! There’s something purple in here!

All four members of the outcast team bent down and stared into the oven.
Sure enough, a swirly vortex of purple energy was thrashing around behind the glass.

Ness: what is that?

Fox: NESS! DON’T OPEN THE DOOR!

Too late, Ness screamed as the purple energy engulfed him, he reached out and grabbed Fox’s tail, Fox grabbed Jigglypuff’s bow and Jigglypuff grabbed Mr. G by the nose.
They where being sucked into an oven!

Ness: AHHHHHHHHHHH!

Fox: AHHHHHHGGGGGG!

Jigglypuff: JIIIIIIIIIIIIIIH!

G&W: BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Everything faded into purple as the sinister appliance dragged them into a void of swirling colours.

Please reply, people and tell me what you think.

 

[PsiFlameMaster]

cool! i told you all that the puff is extremly powerful! cut his tounge on a flat hash brown... getting sucked into an evil oven... BRILLIANT!!! post more! btw, whats rhododendron? iv heard of it b4 but never found out what it was. is it some kind of flower? probably is...

Pichu: O.K. O.K… Now beat me up.

WHY'D YOU DO THAT!?!?!?! pichu isnt my fave character, but hes not ******** like that! dont do that!!! also, at least Pikachu and Mewtwo are on the same team. yay! :D

 

[NESSBOUNDER]

There is method to my madness

Chill out! Pichu is like that because I want him to be, I like him too, and he will still kick *** but I thought it would be funny to have him ENJOY being smashed around
A rhododandron is a flower, I just liked the name, it sounded good in that sentence.
Enjoy the nex update and FOR GOODNESS SAKES, people!
please reply!

 

[NESSBOUNDER]

CHAPTER 2: PART 2

The Outcast team where floating in darkness, flying around for no apparent reason. Bits and pieces of matter whizzed past them at incredible speeds.

Ness: WHAT IS THAT?

Everyone looked up to see a giant translucent baker’s hat with wings floating just meters from them.

Fox: it looks like a giant translucent baker’s hat with wings floating just meters from us.

G&W: you don’t SAY…

Fox didn’t get to say anything because suddenly a floor materialized underneath them and they all landed with a thump.

Ness: where are we?

Jiigglypuff: it looks as if we are inside a giant oven.

Sure enough, they where inside a giant oven. it was so big that they where dwarfed by the huge tray in the middle. In the tray was a giant turkey (a dead one of course, like, plucked and everything) and around the tray where four super hot giant hot plates.

Jigglypuff: it’s like a cross between a stove and an oven!

Ness: I’m surprised we aren’t all cooked yet…

Fox: are you guys stupid? this must be one of the Smash spirits. It must have been hiding in the oven.

Just after Fox made this helpful comment, there was a rumbling sound and a blood-curdling gobbling sound filled the air.

The frightened foursome stared in awe as the gigantic Christmas turkey rose from the tray and jumped out onto its drumstick legs, towering over them.

A blue force-field surrounded the tray, making it impossible to climb into it.
The turkey gave another screeching gobble.

Ness: oh sh…ishkabob

GIANT ANGRY UNDEAD TURKEY: GOBBLOURGH!

The massive fowl charged towards them on its huge drumstick legs, gobbling like a ******.
The four smasher’s first reaction was to scream and run like h*ll.
They had to triple jump over the hot plates in order to make it over to the next corner of the oven.

Ness: hah! it won’t be able to make it over the hot plates!

The deadly dinner flopped its floppy wings and gobbled as mounds of turkey fat rippled under its pink and juicy flesh.
Suddenly it made a huge jump and cleared the hot plate with a single bound.

Ness: AAAAH!

Fox: this reminds me of when I fought that giant redeye dinosaur in Walled City on Dinosaur planet! But I can’t see any way to beat this thing!

G&W: we have to stand and fight it!

They all got into fighting stances.
The persistent poultry dinner roared and charged at them again.

Fox: eat lasers!(fires blaster)

The turkey wasn’t effected by the lasers.

Ness: PK thunder!

The attack made the turkey flinch back slightly

G&W: beep, beep, beep (uses chef)

Gobblourgh didn’t even slow down.

Jigglypuff attacked the creature with rest, connecting the attack with ease.
It fell over on fire.

Ness: I’ve got it! it doesn’t like heat!

It was clear that they couldn’t destroy the turkey by just using fiery attacks on it, and it was then that Ness had a brilliant brainwave.

Ness: quick! Jump over the next hot plate!

They all did as they where told, triple jumping over the nearest hot plate.

Mr. Evil Dinner tried to leap over the after them, but just as it was halfway over the hot plate, Ness jumped up and shot it in the breast with a PK fire.
The turkey’s jump was cancelled in mid air and it fell straight down into the hot plate.

Gobblourgh: Golbloblblblbl!

Ness: yaay! we did it!

He was wrong. Gobblourgh got up again, looking slightly more crispy than before, and charged across the hot plate to stand before them once more,

Fox: ****! we’re going to have to cook it right through!

The turkey decided to use a different attack.
It turned around, chucked them a perfect moonie, and farted out a huge devilled egg at them.

Ness: AAAAAAH!

Fox jumped in front of the little boy and reflected the egg back at the turkey, stunning it.

Jigglypuff: now’s my chance! (uses rest, sending the scary Sunday roast back onto the hot plate.)
As Gobblourgh burned on the hot plate once more, the smashers ran and triple-jumped the fourth hot plate. When they got to the other side, however the giant turkey stayed on the other side and gobbled at the hot plate between them.

Fox: why isn’t it jumping?

The massive munchie monster was beginning to get wise about the hot plates. Instead of jumping, it stood there and started shooting blasts of microwaves from its flubbery armpits.

Jigglypuff: look out!

G&W: beeep!(uses oil panic)

The big fowl shot microwaves at them until Mr. Game and Watch’s bucket was full, then it decided to jump after all.

Mr. Game and Watch intercepted the jump with the oil panic, covering Gobblourgh with oil, and Fox used a final firefox on it when it landed.

A massive explosion blew the turkey onto the last hot plate, where it was burned to smithereens.

Fox: whoah! that was totally dementedly strange!

Ness: I have to agree with you there…

From the smithereens of the turkey rose a baker’s hat with wings, this was the Smash spirit of food.
It turned into a glowing orb and floated over and placed itself into Ness’s hands.

The oven dissolved into a mass of swirling colours and they found themselves back in the kitchen, Ness holding a blue glowing ball of energy in his hands.

Fox: hey! we captured a spirit! let’s take it back to General Pe…I mean Master hand and claim our reward!

Ness: oh, yeah, I forgot.

G&W: Last one to Master hand’s office is a falling tool!

Fox:

THe Outcast team have manaaged to capture one of the ten Smash spirits, but will they beat the other teams to the remaining nine? to find out, please keep reading this fic.

 

[PsiFlameMaster]

Ness: WHAT IS THAT?

Everyone looked up to see a giant translucent baker’s hat with wings floating just meters from them.

Fox: it looks like a giant translucent baker’s hat with wings floating just meters from us.

G&W: you don’t SAY…

stupid turkey... hehehe... post more!

 

[NESSBOUNDER]

Yes, that bit with the giant turkey was interesting, I have no idea how I come up with these things...

Can some other people post, too?

My next update should be sometime tonight.

 

[NESSBOUNDER]

CHAPTER 2: PART 3

The Outcast team bolted up to Master hand’s office at the other side of the Academy. It was dark and spooky and the Master hand was floating around carrying Peach in it’s palm.

Peach: why do you bother the Master? (takes out a whip and lashes at them)

Ness: w-w-we where just handing in this Smash spirit, Ma’am…

Jigglypuff: yeah! We caught it all by ourselves!

Master hand dropped Peach, who swore loudly.

M hand: you captured a spirit? well done! hand it over.

Ness threw the glowing orb at Master hand, who caught it in his palm.

M hand: aaah! the food spirit, excellent, well done…

Fox: where’s our reward?

M hand: oh…the reward, hahaha…you see…that was just an excuse to get you all looking for the spirits…heh!

Fox: WHAH?

Master hand quickly flew over to the intercom and switched it on.

M hand: Smash Bros., There is no reward for capturing the spirits, but if you want to battle on all the stages, you’d better get your posteriors into gear and catch them! The Outcast team have already got one and are rewarded 50 house points for their efforts! Now will everyone please report to the boiler room.

The big glove swung around and faced the angry Fox.

M hand: um…by capturing the spirit, you have enabled single battles to take place on Past Dreamland, Hyrule temple and Rainbow Ride. As you probably heard, I am rewarding you with 50 points, putting your team into first position.

Fox: that isn’t that bad, but I was expecting cash…

M hand: now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go and sort out a brief problem at the boiler room, you must come too.

The boiler room was packed with smashers and wireframe servants. On the wall, scrawled in white chalk was a large message:

CrAyZy HaND Is AN SpeD

Master hand floated angrily over the heads of the masses, brandishing what looked like a giant toilet cleaner.

Peach: This is about this disgusting show of disrespect for the Crazy hand, knowing that there are only two of you who write so badly, I have come to the decision that the culprit is ether Donkey Kong or Pichu.

A little voice at the back row squeaked up.

Pichu: it was me! I wote that message, And I deserve to be spanked this instant!

M hand: UH?

Pichu: I did it! I’m a vewy bad bugga and deserve a trouncing wif that dunny brush!

M hand: Pichu! I can’t believe that you defaced Academy property just to get attention, I always thought Pokemon where nice and trustworthy and…

Pichu: I DEMAND TO BE CANED WITH THE DUNNY BRUSH THIS INSTANT!

M hand: I beg your pardon?

D.K.: der, calm down, Pichu…

Pichu: I WANT TO BE WHUPPED! AND WHEN I DON’T GET MY WAY, I THWOW WOBBLIES! (bashes himself senseless against a wall.)

Kirby: wow! he really is desperate.

Picachu: poor little Pichu, he can't help that he’s a masochist.

Mewtwo: fool…

C hand: HeY! ThaT LO0Ks LiKe fUn! (ties own fingers into a knot and rams into the boiler)

M hand: DON’T DO THAT, YOU ******!

Crazy hand flung himself against the boiler, making a huge crack in the side. Hot steam spewed all over the place.

Mario: SHE’S A GONNA BLOOOOW!

Dr. Mario: she is a sick! She is a sick in the SIDE!

Young Link: why am I always surrounded by idiots? Keep calm you guys!

BLAM! the boiler exploded, violently propelling the closest smashers (everyone) in random directions at mach 2!

Master hand was the first to recover from the steam explosion.

M hand: darn it! I should have known better to have brought Crazy with me, as he is mentally out of it and he is a sped.

Pichu: (embedded halfway through a stone wall) wheee! I told you! I told you all! but you wouldn’t listen, would you? Let’s do it again!

Are the smashers going to be fit enough to continue the hunt for the Smash spirits? Find out by tuning in to the next warped update.
(can someone rate my fic?)
See you all in CHAPTER 2: PART 4!

 

[PsiFlameMaster]

Pichu: I WANT TO BE WHUPPED! AND WHEN I DON’T GET MY WAY, I THWOW WOBBLIES! (bashes himself senseless against a wall.)

Kirby: wow! he really is desperate.

Picachu: poor little Pichu, he can't help that he’s a masochist.

Mewtwo: fool…

C hand: HeY! ThaT LO0Ks LiKe fUn! (ties own fingers into a knot and rams into the boiler)

M hand: DON’T DO THAT, YOU ******!

Crazy hand flung himself against the boiler, making a huge crack in the side. Hot steam spewed all over the place.

Mario: SHE’S A GONNA BLOOOOW!

Dr. Mario: she is a sick! She is a sick in the SIDE!

Young Link: why am I always surrounded by idiots? Keep calm you guys!

BLAM!

hehehe... ******** hand... update!

 

[Master Hand 4561]

Ah, My brother, Master Hand, I feel your feelings, for I have Crazy Hand 3476, MY Idoit Left hand.

 

[NESSBOUNDER]

Sorry you guys, I probably won't be able to update today and if I do, it will probably be short.

In the mean time, you could rate this fic...

 

[Aruun]

lol, this is funny. ^_~ Your grammar could some work, and I hate script-format, but it's still good. Hmmm, too bad I like Falco... ^_^'

Keep it up!

 

[NESSBOUNDER]

I changed my mind, I will try make this update long
CHAPTER 2: PART 4

After the unfortunate incident with the boiler, Ness was suffering from some nasty burns and Fox was recovering from a heart attack.
Almost every smasher was disabled in some way and the only one who was enjoying it was Pichu.

This, as you would expect, was heaven for Dr. Mario who raced around the dorms giving his opinion as to what he thought the problem was, sometimes he visited one dorm several times,
almost driving the occupants insane.

Mr. Game and Watch, Samus, Peach, Dr. Mario, and Roy where the only ones who didn’t get hurt during the explosion.

G&W: so… how are you feeling?

Jigglypuff: boiled

G&W: and you?

Pikachu: I’ve had worse

Pichu: absolutely super! I can still see all da widdle stars flying awound!

Mewtwo: fools, I let no pain bother me, mind over matter, you feeble, weak-brained individuals! (tries to get up and screams dramatically before flopping back down as if nothing happened)

Game and Watch looked around the colorful Pokemon dorm before speaking to Jigglypuff again.

G&W: I went to see Fox but Falco didn’t want me in the dorm, Ness is getting better.

Jigglypuff: I hear Samus is still O.K., she’s a pretty good bounty hunter, are you sure you can capture spirits on your own until we get better?

G&W: don’t worry your head, Samus is battling Roy this afternoon, I can look for spirits then.

Jigglypuff: be careful…

Mr. Game and Watch waved to her in acknowledgment and walked off down the hallway.

The battle between Samus and Roy was actually quite boring and cheap. Samus resorted to cowardice tactics on Hyrule temple, firing off gazillions of missiles and charge shots. Roy was eventually defeated, but the good thing was that it took AGES before this happened.
Mr. Game and Watch had been given heaps of time to search the passages of the Academy and look for some spirits.

G&W: I’ve tried everywhere in the hallways and still have found nothing! I need to think.

When Mr. Game and Watch was in doubt, he liked to sit in a sink for some bizarre reason, as there was no sinks in the hallway, he decided to go into the MEN’S for a refreshing thinking session.

The toilets where quite empty, except for someone in a cubicle, singing.

G&W: (thinks) it must be Dr. Mario…

He jumped up into the sink and began his brainstorm.

The dunny door swung open and the occupant came humming over to the sinks.

Mr. Game and Watch stared blankly at the person, struck dumb, and the person did the same.
They stood there staring at each other for quite some time before Peach let out a scream and bashed Mr. Game and Watch over the head with the closest thing she could grab, a stuffed haddock mounted on the wall.

G&W: OWW! WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THE MEN’S TOILETS?

Peach: THIS IS THE LADIE’S, YOU FREAK! HOW DARE YOU ENTER INTO AN UNORTHERISED SPACE PARTICULARLY CONSTRUCTED FOR THE BENEFIT OF THE OPPOSITE GENDER WITHOUT ANY REASON BUT TO SIT IN THE SINK!(bashes Mr. G three more times with the fish)

G&W: this is the MEN’S! There is a urinal over in the far corner!

Peach turned a bright shade of pink that almost matched her dress.

Peach: err..I could have sworn the LADIE’S was here yesterday…(runs out)

Mr. Game and Watch walked dizzily over to center of the room, next to the urinal. His head was all hurt from the assault with the stuffed haddock.

G&W: oooh, I don’t feel good…

Suddenly a throbbing purple light exploded from a drain-hole in the ground and engulfed Mr. Game & Watch in it’s sinister grip.

Mr. G found himself floating through a void with a flying, translucent pair of porcelain-framed glasses with wings hovering just over his head before all went dark.

Has Mr. Game and Watch discovered another spirit? why is Peach such a *****? find out in the next action-packed and thrillsome update of SSBM: Academy of Smash!

(please tell me what you think)

 

[Master Hand 4561]

I give this story a FIVE! *Holds up five fingers* :D
Crazy Hand 3467: Me two! *Holds up two fingers*
Me: You never learn.
CH 3467: But I rate it a two!
Me: That's because you can't read!
CH 3467: Oh.
Me: *Thinks: Idoit*

 

[MasterOfFlames]

Sweet

This is really cool, please update!

 

[PsiFlameMaster]

When Mr. Game and Watch was in doubt, he liked to sit in a sink for some bizarre reason, as there was no sinks in the hallway, he decided to go into the MEN’S for a refreshing thinking session.

Mr. Game and Watch stared blankly at the person, struck dumb, and the person did the same.
They stood there staring at each other for quite some time before Peach let out a scream and bashed Mr. Game and Watch over the head with the closest thing she could grab, a stuffed haddock mounted on the wall.

G&W: OWW! WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THE MEN’S TOILETS?

Peach: THIS IS THE LADIE’S, YOU FREAK! HOW DARE YOU ENTER INTO AN UNORTHERISED SPACE PARTICULARLY CONSTRUCTED FOR THE BENEFIT OF THE OPPOSITE GENDER WITHOUT ANY REASON BUT TO SIT IN THE SINK!(bashes Mr. G three more times with the fish)

G&W: this is the MEN’S! There is a urinal over in the far corner!

Peach turned a bright shade of pink that almost matched her dress.

Peach: err..I could have sworn the LADIE’S was here yesterday…(runs out)

hehehe... sit in a sink???... peach in the mens room???... that was funny! keep at it!!! hahahaha!!!! this is BRILLIANT matterial!!!

 

[Master Hand 4561]

PLEASE UPDATE!

 

[NESSBOUNDER]

CHAPTER 2: PART 5

Mr. Game and Watch awoke to find himself in the toilets again, nothing was different and it looked like everything was normal.
There was no sign of a Smash spirit anywhere.

G&W: m-m-maybe I dreamed it all?

He walked over to where the exit was and recoiled in horror.
There was no door!

G&W: oh no! I’ve been bricked up in the MEN’S!

A horrible slithering sound echoed out from behind one of the cubicle doors.
Mr. Game and Watch almost wet himself.

G&W: BEEP! WHO’S THERE!?

The cubicle door flew open by itself, there was nothing in there.

G&W: this is starting to freak me out! I want to get out of here!

As much as he wanted to run, a strange force seemed to be dragging him towards the now exposed toilet. His 2D heart beating hard in his 2D chest, the little black sprite gingerly entered the cubicle and advanced towards the gurgling loo.

BAM! The cubicle door slammed behind him and fused into the wall. He was trapped in the cubicle with no where to run.
But being trapped wasn’t what scared Game and Watch the most, it was the arm that had suddenly come grasping and groping from out of the bowl.

Panic stations went into overdrive.

G&W: HELP ME! IT’S GONNA GET ME! I’M A DEAD MAN! HELP HELP HELP HELPHELP! (bangs on the wall with his fists)

The arm was followed by a head.

Mr. Game and Watch had never seen such a festy old fart in his entire life.
This guy had wrinkles on his wrinkles and rolls of fat hanging off his tubby face. He had very little hair and it formed a semi-circle around the back of his bald head. his eyes where small and creepy and he had one of those pointy, small noses that reminds you of someone called Uncle Sam. Even if you don’t have an Uncle Sam.
He had a mole just under his eye and big, ugly eyebrows, and a big mouth with lots of big teeth.
His body was next out, and it was so fat, it couldn’t get passed the dunny rim and had to stay in there like a cork in a bottle. he had a very hairy chest.

???: Ello! quite clever of ye teh find me in ‘ere! I was gettin bored!
I tell you, it's dark down there and it's been givin' me a bl**dy itchy crack! (scratches his bum like a posessed monkey on drugs)

Mr. Game and Watch looked at the old, naked guy wedged halfway down a toilet and said:
“Are you Uncle Sam?”

???: Neh! I’m da shpirit of thought! Yer theh only one the find me cos ye thinks in porcelain!

G&W: huh?

Spirit: ye sits in the sink teh think! Dunnies and sinks are breeding spots for good ideas! Issac Newton thought up de theory of reletivettyy on ‘is bog catcher! Yer the only one ‘oo found me, laddie, cos you does it right!!

G&W covered his face from the bits of spit that flew from the old guy’s mouth as he talked.

G&W: how am I supposed to get out of your dream world and back to reality?

Spirit: hows about playing a little game? Choose how many shcarabs you wish to gamble, and I’ll then throw them into this…

G&W: hey! there’s something familiar about those lines!

Spirit: ****! you found me out! I hate it when people catch me copying stuff! Paper, scissors, rock!

G&W: I’ll play!

they both shook their fists at each other then showed their chosen object.

Spirit: Dang! yer paper wraps up my rock!

Round 2:

Spirit: Dang! yer paper wraps up my rock again! But you won’t be so lucky next time!

Round 3:

Spirit: What? I can’t believe ye won! Theh old three-times-the-same-thing-in-a-row trick never fails!

If Mr. Game and Watch had been a fair player, he would have told the spirit that he had actually used scissors all three times only his flat hands always looked like paper. But he was a dirty player and simply nodded in reply.

Spirit: I guess ya earned me. I’ll go quietly.

There was a blinding flash of light and the old man disappeared with a squelching noise, and off his nose floated a winged pair of porcelain rimmed glasses.

Another flash of light occurred and Mr. Game and Watch was back lying on the ground, holding a glowing ball of energy in hands.

G&W: I did it! I captured a spirit all on my own! I’M so cool, do it old school, I’m so cool, do it old school, etc etc.

It just so happened that Dr. Mario was passing by the MEN’S at that very moment, and upon hearing the cries of “Game and Watch forever!” coming from the bathroom commode, he shook his head and uttered this wise statement:

Dr. Mario: I am a DOCTOR!

(I bet you thought he was going to say something about him being a sick, didn’t you? Well HAHAHA! I TRICKED YOU ALL!)

 

[Master Hand 4561]

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAAH! Dr. Mario would have said: He is a sick! He is a sick in the COMMODE!