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Yes, that subpar song means I'm here with a not-so-subpar update.
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Act 10: Only the Beginning (Part 2)
The three stood in triangle formation. Two of them stared at the oddity of the group. The oddity stared back, expressionless, almost like it was ready for anything… like it was daring them to do something.
“So what’s the plan now? We’ve been staring at it for almost ten minutes now.” Said one.
“Relax, man. I’m jus’ gettin’ ready.” Said the other.
The stand-off continued.
One sighed of boredom: Bowser. He was practically praying something would happen before he’d have to take matters into his own hands.
One stood determined: Ganondorf. He was going to do what he had to do even if it killed him.
One stood expressionless, still: Ganondorf’s cell phone. It had the will-power of an inanimate object (obviously…); not phased by anything, regardless of how threatening.
“Alright Ganondorf, that’s it. If you’re not gonna make the call, I’ll do it.” Bowser said, agitated.
“Chill a minute, B-Boss.” Ganondorf said. “I’m goin’ though the convo in my head. I gotta be ready, son. DK’s gonna chew me out for takin’ so long to call.”
“But it’s not your fault. They said they got into a whole lotta crap trying to get here. What could we do about it?” Bowser rhetorically asked.
“True that…” Ganondorf agreed. “Aight, gimme the phone. If he starts talkin’ ****, I’ma shut him down hard.”
Bowser grabbed the cell phone and flipped it opened, passing it to Ganondorf. Ganondorf proceeded to dial Donkey Kong’s number and waited on the ring tone.
A busy signal…
“What the hell? His phone’s busy.” Ganondorf said with a raised, agitated eyebrow.
“I know he’s been waiting on our call for a long time. Whoever he’s talking to must be pretty important.” Bowser guessed.
Meanwhile with DK…
“I’m calling you to tell you how you can increase the size of your bananas! Jealous of your neighbor’s bunch and how he gets all the attention from your female friend? Well if you apply for this LIMITED TIME OFFER, she’ll be BEGGING for a taste of your banana cream sundae.” An overly enthusiastic salesman pitched.
“Ex… excuse me?” DK murmured, confused and cleaning out his ear to make sure he heard correctly.
Back to B-Boss and G-Dorf…
“I dunno who could be more important than us, but aight.” Ganondorf agreed.
“Just call back in five minutes. He knows we’re gonna reach him eventually, so he knows to keep the conversations short.” Bowser assured.
They stood around for another five minutes, not saying anything to each other. The only sound heard was Ganondorf’s occasional mutterings to himself. He was still going over the conversation in his head. Bowser could only stand back and marvel at how on-edge Ganondorf seemed. This was completely unlike the Ganondorf he knew.
“What the hell is your problem?” Bowser asked, almost sounding disgusted.
“The hell you talkin’ ‘bout?” Ganondorf shot back, confused.
“You’re obsessing over a conversation you didn’t even have yet! Not only that; you’re acting like you’re dealing with someone dangerous! This is Donkey Kong we’re dealing with! Lumbering, bumbling DK! You know; the guy with the incredibly ******** theme song? ‘His coconut gun can fire in spurts! If he shoots ya, it’s gonna hurt!’” Bowser sang, horribly off-key. “Wrong! What’s gonna hurt is my claw in his spine!”
“Yo B-Boss, calm the hell down…” Ganondorf calmly commanded, holding his hand out and making a motion that also suggested calming down. “I know it’s only DK. You wanna know what my deal is? ****in’ Link, man! Did you sense the power? My man is serious now! Last time I saw him… Nah, F- that… Last time I spoke to him on the phone, I could tell he wasn’t packin’ that much heat. I could crush him wit’ my thumb. Now, not even a week later, we neck-in-neck in power. And I have the ****in’ Triforce of Power! How the hell can he get so **** strong in such a short time?! I keep talkin’ to myself to keep my mind off it.”
“You scared?” Bowser stammered in disbelief. He thought Ganondorf knew no fear. He thought wrong.
“Yo man… On the real, we’ll need more than jus’ DK to hold him down. I don’t even know if I can hold him down, even in my transformation.” Ganondorf feared. “It’s gonna be down to the wire… And for some ****in’ reason, Good always wins when it gets that close.”
“Not possible, man. He doesn’t have the Light arrows. He can’t touch you.” Bowser remembered, trying to reassure himself and Ganondorf that they’d come out on top.
“That’s true. He was ready to take me on without ‘em, but I reminded him about it. He went to look for some.” Ganondorf recalled.
“****it! Why didn’t you just take him out right there?!” Bowser shouted.
“‘Cause that’s not part of my plan.” Ganondorf countered, springing a sudden smirk on his face. “I know Link like I know Zelda’s g-spots. He’s goin’ to the Spirit Temple to chat wit’ Nabooru, who can definitely get him some Light arrows.”
“So this ‘Nabooru’ character is gonna cut him off for us?” Bowser speculated.
“Nah, not even. She the Spirit Sage. She’d die before she’d help me.” Ganondorf said without a doubt. “I was thinkin’ some other ****. Every temple has its purpose. Lemme tell you what goes down at the Spirit Temple.” He started. “Peeps die. And when they die, their spirit, or soul, is left behind. The soul heads up to the Spirit Temple to make the final move to the afterlife. Every single spirit in Hyrule heads there to make the trip. Before Link got back, I caught this dude goin’ on and on about how he needs souls to cop ‘the ultimate power’. I had no **** clue what the hell he was talkin’ ‘bout, but you know how I am about spreadin’ mayhem. So I told him how to get to the Spirit Temple. He could grab up all the spirits he wants there. And I know Nabooru definitely won’t be able to handle the **** on her own, so when Link comes around, she’s gonna ask him for help. Link will no doubt accept because he needs them arrows, plus he’s a sucker for cute ****.” Ganondorf added.
“Aren’t we all?” Bowser chuckled as well. “So I’m guessing this guy will be powerful as hell by the time Link reaches him. Either Link gets killed in a battle, or he’ll win by such a small margin that you’ll be able to capitalize easily when he reaches you.”
“You mean if he reaches me. Since I’m anticipatin’ Link bein’ hot garbage by the time he gets back, DK shouldn’t have a problem finishin’ the job.” Ganondorf corrected. “And if he somehow manages to get by DK in his weakened, piss-poor state, by the time he gets to me, he’s gonna be one pitiful piece of ****. It won’t matter if he has the arrows or not.”
“That’s good planning, my man.” Bowser complimented.
“Yo man, the Triforce of Power doesn’t jus’ make your muscles stronger.” Ganondorf stated while tapping his noggin.
“Alright, I’m sure it’s been over five minutes.” Bowser pointed out. “Check back with Donkey Kong.”
Ganondorf picked up his cell phone once again and dialed DK’s number. Success! There was a ring tone this time. Now all he had to do was wait for someone to pick up…
After four rings, someone finally picked up. The first sound Ganondorf heard was not a greeting, though. It sounded like a struggle.
“Give me the phone, Diddy!” DK shouted, his voice sounding strained.
“But I have the phone already! Let me answer!” Diddy screamed back, sounding like he was fending off DK from the phone.
A series of shouts and grunts rang through the receiver before there was one final slam and one final shriek of pain. Finally, there was an answer to the phone call.
“So God help me if this isn’t Ganondorf…” DK angrily growled, huffing and puffing tiredly.
“Yeah, it’s me.” Ganondorf replied.
“Do you have any idea how long it’s been since you last called?” DK asked, annoyed. “I’m trying to devise the perfect plan and you abandon me for over a month! You better provide me with a good explanation on why I should still be inclined to help you.”
“Because I’ll beat yo’ *** to death if you don’t!” Ganondorf threatened.
“Terrible explanation.” DK simply stated. “Even though I really shouldn’t have even wasted my time, a chance to confront Mario is too important to ignore. Besides, I put a lot of my time and energy into constructing the ideal plan to deal with him and his companions. At this point, it would be stupid to give it all up.”
“Especially since they’re in Hyrule as we speak.” Ganondorf added. “It’s time for you to put in work, DK. How fast can you get here?”
“I’m not sure… Kongo Jungle isn’t exactly a vine-swing away from Hyrule.” DK realized. “I’m going to need some incredible and unconventional means of travel if you want me to make it there in time.”
“Easy. I got this machine that’ll take me anywhere. I’ma open a portal in your place. All you gotta do is walk through.” Ganondorf said.
“Excellent. That will make transporting the things I need very easy.” Donkey Kong said.
“No doubt.” Ganondorf agreed. “So I’ll check you in a bit.”
“That, you will.” DK stated and hung up.
“So the deed is done?” Bowser asked, seeing Ganondorf hang up the phone.
“Like dinner. We headin’ to the secret room on the roof. DK is comin’ through there.” Ganondorf said. “Hopefully, this **** goes our way.”
“Hopefully…” Bowser said, following Ganondorf to the roof.
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“SHORTS! I’m gonna wear ‘em forever! Even if the weather is mild!” Link sang high-pitched and off-key.
“I hate that song.” Mario muttered. “You’re not even wearing shorts…”
“It must feel really good to be home again, huh?” Luigi guessed.
“You have no idea, Luigi.” Link said with a smile. “Every time I walk through Hyrule Field, there’s a song in my heart. Most of the time, it sounds like the overworld theme, but when I’m feelin’ especially great, I get variety.”
“You think you can sing a song we’ll all like next time?” Mario requested.
“I don’t usually take requests. I might make an exception for you, though.” Link mentioned, stroking his chin like he was thinking about it.
“So how much longer until we get to the Spirit Temple?” Luigi inquired.
“We still got a ways to go.” Link said. “First, we gotta head through Gerudo Valley and get the girls to open the gate to the Haunted Wasteland.”
“Hold on a second… Girls? Haunted Wasteland? None of this is making sense.” Mario said.
“Women run Gerudo Valley. They aren’t too fond of guys ever since Ganondorf, the first male-Gerudo in a hundred years, proved to be an evil son-*****, but we don’t have to worry about that. I kinda put their faith back in men, so we should be straight.” Link explained. “Now, the Haunted Wasteland… It’s an endless desert that guards the path to the Spirit Temple. Out of all the temples here in Hyrule, this is the most important one after the Light Temple, so of course, gettin’ there is gonna be a *****. This temple controls the flow of spirits to the afterlife a.k.a. it controls life and death here. We have to pass a series of tests if we wanna get through the Wasteland in one piece.”
“Well, you made it through before. It shouldn’t be a problem, right?” Luigi said.
“You see…” Link started, a hint of uncertainty accompanied his words. “Normally, I’d be like ‘please, the only problem we’d have is gettin’ all the sand out our shoes’. But one trial involves the all-too-important Lens of Truth. The Lens lets you see things invisible to the naked eye. I used to have it, but you know what happened to me in Mute City. So you know what that means…”
“We have to overcome the impossible, yet again.” Mario sighed.
“And we still have to worry about gettin’ the sand out our shoes.” Link added.
“It just amazes me how nothing is ever easy with us.” Luigi sighed. “I mean, all we have to do was ask someone a question! Just one question! And it turns into an epic quest where we have to overcome the impossible! I don’t get it! It’s hard to stay optimistic when crap like this happens all the time.”
“Nah man, it should be easy to stay hopeful. Jus’ remember: no matter how impossible **** may seem, we always pull through. Always.” Link pointed out, trying to cheer the doubtful brothers up.
“I feel like a lot of that was luck, though. How long will it be until our luck runs out?” Mario wondered.
“Trust me, man. It wasn’t luck. I think someone loves us up there.” Link said, looking up to the sky. “Under the eyes of my three gods, and whatever god y’all worship, we’ll get through this 100%. Trust.” He said with a confident nod.
The brothers looked at Link, then looked at each other, considering what he just said. They both nodded.
“It’s hard to argue with confidence like that.” Luigi admitted with a smile. “Alright, Link. We’ll follow your lead. Let’s just hope you’re right.”
“I know I’m right!” Link boasted confidently. “We’ve come way too far to screw it all up now. Besides, I’m the Hero of Time!” Suddenly, the familiar fanfare from the beginning of A Link to the Past blared through the air. A huge smile consumed Link’s face. “God ****IT I missed that!”
“In a weird way, so did I.” Mario admitted with a meek smile. “Well, we gotta get moving again.”
Once again, the trio started again on their walk to Gerudo Valley. The closer they got the Gerudo Valley, the more notable the changes in the environment were. The green, gentle plains of Hyrule Field gradually became more rugged and rocky, taking on a raw, red tint as well. The air also became much more arid as the heat made its presence uncomfortably felt.
As they walked, the brothers marveled at the natural beauty Hyrule had to offer: the majestic mountains, the dusty, beaten trail, the wispy look of the clouds in the light-blue, desert sky. Sure, they had seen stuff like this back at home, but most of it seemed so artificial, like it was tailor-made to look like that; all the natural aspects they could think of: trees, clouds, etc, had a face! They appreciated Hyrule’s much more natural and realistic look.
Link didn’t share the brothers’ enthusiasm, though. At the time, he looked preoccupied and worried. Mario noticed this and figured something was definitely wrong. Link had just instilled some lost confidence in the crew, but his troubled expressions had Mario feeling pessimistic once again.
“You alright, Link?” Mario asked, nudging his shoulder. “Seems like there’s something up with you.”
Link hesitated to answer. Something was definitely up, but he didn’t want his team’s spirit to waver. But he also knew they were going to find out what had him so worried one way or another, so he decided to talk.
“Remember what I said about there always being a song in my heart? I wasn’t kiddin’. Every area in Hyrule has its own little theme song playin’.” Link explained. “Y’all shouldn’t be surprised, though. I know different areas in Mushroom Kingdom have different songs, too.”
Mario and Luigi nodded in agreement.
“So like y’all probably guessed, Gerudo Valley has its own song, too. Right now, I should be hummin’ the tune to myself, but I don’t hear anythin’…” Link said. “What pisses me off the most is that the song is unbelievably hot! Whatever’s goin’ on over there must be serious.”
“And the plot thickens…” Luigi muttered, shaking his head.
Finally entering Gerudo grounds, the three continued on their way to the Gerudo Fortress. As they neared the stronghold, they immediately noticed billowing smoke streaming into the sky, accompanied by the strong scent of fire.
Link halted in his steps, simply not believing what he was seeing. He knew the Gerudo race was very protective of their lands and wouldn’t allow any intruders to damage their property this severely. Whoever did this must’ve been incredibly strong…
Without saying anything, Link took off toward the Gerudo Fortress entrance. The brothers sped off as well, trying to catch up to Link, who already had an impressive lead on them.
They finally arrived in front of the Gerudo Fortress. Immediately, they saw the Gerudo Training Grounds on fire and frantic Gerudo women trying to control the raging flames. Other women were tending to others that seemed to be wounded. A frantic battle must’ve just taken place, the trio though silently.
“Yo, let’s help them move the wounded into the fortress.” Link suggested.
With a nod, the three spotted a group of unconscious soldiers and tenderly cradled them in their arms to bring them into the Fortress. Link moved a little faster than the brothers did, and arrived in the fortress’s infirmary. There, even more of the wounded were being taken care of. Even though there were many injured, it didn’t seem like there were any casualties. In fact, a few of the Gerudo were laughing about something, so it seemed like everyone was still in high spirits despite what happened.
“Sweet Farore! Link!” A young, almost melodious voice sang out from behind him.
He spun around quickly, recognizing the sweet voice. He smiled to see a familiar face. Besides Ganondorf, this was the first Hyrule native he spoke to since his return.
“Oh snap, Raznia!” Link exclaimed as he greeted her smiling face.
“It’s been such a long time! Look at you! What are you doing here?” Raznia excitedly asked, her eye wide with happiness.
“I was in the neighborhood and decided to holla at my Gerudo shorties.” Link stated.
“Hehe… Well aren’t you gonna hug me?” Raznia innocently asked.
“You know I would, but…” Link trailed off, quickly glancing down to the unconscious Gerudo guard in his arms.
“Oh! I can’t believe I missed that!” She exclaimed, embarrassed. “You can put her over there. C’mon.”
Raznia led the way to an empty bed, where she directed Link to lay her down. Afterward, she commanded a nurse to make sure she wakes up soon.
“There. She should be fine. Now where’s my hug?” Raznia smiled, holding her arms out.
“God, you’re pushy…” Link muttered with a smile and went on to embrace his old friend.
Raznia was a nineteen-year old Gerudo who was highly proficient in combat. She was so good; she was one of the top warriors of the Gerudo race. No one would be able to tell by her appearance, though. She was of average height, for a girl, standing in at 5’8”, and had a slender frame. Her shapely body would suggest she was a dancer. The most ironic part was that she was, incorporating dancing into her fighting style. Armed with a butterfly dagger and a curved saber, she was one of the most deadly women in Hyrule. She was also one of the most beautiful, with rich, brown skin, ravishing black hair tied into a ponytail just reaching the middle of her back, bright, light-brown eyes, voluptuous lips, and perfectly-sized and curvy chest and hips to match her lovely frame. Her black hair made her especially noticeable, as the Gerudo tribe all had either red or orange hair.
“****, it musta been a long-*** time since we last saw each other. I don’t remember you lookin’ or feelin’ so good.” Link admitted, running his hands up and down Raznia’s back.
“Link!” She laughed, playfully pushing off of him. “I can say the same thing about you! You feel so chiseled and defined now. You been working out?”
“If you consider fightin’ for your life a workout, I been doin’ that forever.” Link said.
“I’m loving the black tunic, too.” Raznia complimented. “Where’s your sword and shield?”
He winked at her, held out his arms, and closed his eyes. As soon as his arms were extended, two black spheres of energy formed in his hands. Eventually, they took the form of his new sword and shield in his left and right hands, respectively. Raznia’s eyes were wide with silent awe.
“That was so cool, it kinda makes me hot.” She joked, fanning herself.
“I know. All the girls say that when I unsheathe my sword.” Link gloated, “putting away” his sword and shield. Just then, he took a glance at the Gerudo he carried into the fortress, which reminded him that this wasn’t the time to play around. “Yo, we came through as soon as we saw the smoke risin’ in the distance. What went down?”
“‘We’?” Raznia repeated, confused by the word.
Link was about to point out his entourage, but suddenly realized they were nowhere to be found. “Oh ****… I completely forgot about them. I musta dusted them by accident. Where are…”
“STOP RIGHT THERE!!!” A pair of tough, feminine voices shouted out in unison.
“Right on cue… C’mon.” Link said as he ran toward the infirmary exit with Raznia following closely behind.
Meanwhile with the brothers…
After losing Link, they had gotten lost in the huge fortress. Eventually, two Gerudo guards surrounded them in a narrow hallway, holding ribboned spears almost to their face.
“What do you think you’re doing with them?” A harsh voice demanded, noticing the unconscious Gerudo women in their arms.
“We saw you needed help, so we’re helping out! I didn’t know that’d a problem…” Mario answered, annoyed that he and his bro were being treated as if they were doing something wrong.
One of the guards decided to clock Mario in the head with the blunt end of her weapon after his comment.
“Keep that tongue in line, or you’ll lose it.” One of the guards threatened.
Mario was about to respond, but Link and Raznia suddenly rounded the corner and met up with them.
“Yo, what the hell did you guys do?!” Link gasped when he saw his companions’ predicament.
“We tried to help.” Luigi sighed.
“Girls, calm down a little.” Raznia suggested.
“How can we be calm at a time like this? You saw what happened, Raz: we were attacked without warning! By one person, nonetheless! I could tell he wasn’t from Hyrule at all. And with that kind of power, I seriously doubt he’s even from this planet! Now we catch two more people that we’ve never seen before in our fortress carrying our unconscious soldiers. What did you expect us to do?!”
“But compare these two to Midnight-Armor--” Raznia started.
“Midnight-Armor?” The guard interrupted.
“Until I know his name, that’s what I’m gonna call him. Anyway, he had dark-blue, midnight armor from head to toe, a mutated arm, and fiery orange ponytail. These two look like cartoons that came to life. I don’t think they came here for trouble.” Raznia deducted.
Mario and Luigi looked at each other, not knowing whether to be thankful that she seemed to be on their side, or insulted because they were just compared to cartoons.
“Besides, Link knows them.” She said, glancing to Link.
The two guards, still with their weapons drawn, did a double-take when they looked in his direction.
“Oh…” They muttered and relaxed their stances to a non-threatening level.
“I didn’t recognize him with the black tunic…” One of the guards said, almost inaudibly.
“…sorry for the misunderstanding…” The other guard apologized, sounding as if she forced herself to say it.
“…no problem.” Mario accepted, although he sounded like he forced himself to accept.
“Now kiss and make up!” Raznia suggested, nodding her head with a smile.
“Grow up, Raz…” One of the guards sighed, disgusted and sucking her teeth.
She giggled a little. “Just go help out the others. Make sure all the wounded are in the infirmary before noon.” Raz commanded.
The guards nodded and headed outside.
“You handled them pretty well…” Link said, sounding impressed. “How far up the authority ladder are you?”
“Like… This high.” Raznia stretched her hand up above her head. “I’m actually up there with Nabooru. The only reason she’s higher than me is ‘cause she’s the Spirit sage. Lucky…”
“Is that hostility I’m sensin’? I thought y’all were mad cool.” Link said, concerned.
“Don’t worry, we still are. Nabi’s my sister, so I can never hate her.” She defended herself.
“Since when were y’all sisters?” Link wondered.
“Well, you know we’re not true sisters… but we’re so close, we might as well be.” Raznia corrected herself.
“You know… We’re still here…” Mario mentioned, feeling left out.
“And we’re still carrying around these girls.” Luigi added. “Just so you know… They aren’t exactly light…”
“****, that’s the second time… My fault, guys.” Link apologized. “Raz, meet my homeboys: Mario and Luigi. Legends of the Mushroom Kingdom. Not as legendary as me, though.” He boasted, laughing to himself. “Homeboys, meet my Gerudian homegirl: Raznia. Cute, right?”
“Link…” Raznia blushed a little.
“Hey, I’m jus’ speakin’ the truth.” Link admitted.
“Nice to meet you guys.” Raznia greeted.
“Same here.” The brothers replied nodded.
“I know you wanna put those girls down, so follow me.” Raznia said and led the way to the infirmary. When they reached there, she easily found two beds and a nurse to tend to them immediately.
“Alright, now for the reason we’re here…” Link started. “As much as I’d love to chill wit’ you, I can’t. We got so much **** to do, it’s not even funny. I’m not gonna waste time goin’ though the details. All I gotta say is that we need to talk to Nabooru. Before we went runnin’ to the Spirit Temple, though, we were hopin’ she’s here. PLEASE tell me she’s here.” He prayed.
“She’s not…” Raznia sighed. “Even when Midnight-Armor first came, Nabi wasn’t here. He just showed up without warning, talking about harnessing the power of the spirits. We knew he was heading to the Spirit Temple, so we had to stop him. But we would’ve never guessed how powerful he was. He leveled our best forces with two moves! Then, I tried to take him on by myself. That was probably the worst idea of my life. I made the first move and tried to thrust my dagger into his chest. He smacked the dagger outta my hand with the huge sword he carried, grabbed me by the throat with that disgusting arm, and lifted me in the air. I thought I was gonna die, his grip was so strong. He laughed as he watched me struggle. ‘You can’t defeat your greatest nightmare,’ he said and dropped me, then pointed his blade at my face. That had to be the creepiest sword I had ever seen. It felt like it emitted body heat, and I swear I saw it blink. Then he broke down the gate leading to the Haunted Wasteland and left. I was gonna chase him, but I decided to wait for Nabi to come back so we could attack together. When I told her that, she wouldn’t let me come, though. She made me promise I’d help with the recovery.”
After Raznia finished her story, the brothers could only sigh out in awe while shaking their heads. After hearing what Raznia and the Gerudo went through, and seeing the aftermath first-hand, they knew they were in for one hell of a ride.
Link stayed silent, looking like he was deep in thought. What Raznia described about this armored foe so far sounded familiar. The dark-blue armor, the mutated arm, the huge, seemingly living sword, the fiery ponytail, and the need to collect souls… He could almost guess who the culprit was, but before he jumped to conclusions, he wanted to wait for more evidence.
“So I guess we have no choice but to go to the Spirit Temple, after all…” Luigi muttered.
“****it…” Mario spat out. “We probably won’t even make it through those trials. Especially without the Lens of Truth…”
“What happened to the Lens of Truth?” Raznia asked.
“It’s a long story… Let’s jus’ say I lost it.” Link muttered.
“You lost the Lens of Truth…” Raz repeated to herself, as if she was trying to convince herself that’s what she heard. “You’re such an idiot! How could you lose that! There’s only one made every century!”
“I know that!” Link shot back. “****, I feel bad enough about it. You don’t have to throw it back in my face.”
“But it’s just so stupid! The only thing stupider would be losing the Master Sword!” She claimed.
Link stayed silent, hanging his head pitifully and closing his eyes. The Mario brothers simply turned around and walked away, simultaneously sighing.
Raznia’s heart sank to her feet. “Link… You didn’t…”
He refused to raise his head. There was no possible way he could look her in the eye.
“You know what? I’m not even gonna say anything.” Raznia decided. “I’m just gonna assume you were in WAY over your head.”
She watched Link’s facial expression. Much to her disbelief, a tear rolled down Link’s cheek. Something terrible must’ve happened, she thought to herself. Although she still couldn’t believe the Master Sword was gone, she couldn’t stay mad at Link after seeing how he truly felt.
“Ohhh… Come here…” Raznia cooed, pulling Link close and hugging him. Link rested his head on her shoulder as she consolingly caressed his neck. “I still love you. I’m sorry I got so mad. Just cry on my shoulder. Everything will be alright.”
“I don’t cry…” Link mumbled into Raz’s shoulder.
“Those tears I feel say differently.” She countered. She definitely wasn’t lying about it either. Her shirt was actually a comfy tube-top with no shoulders. She could feel every tear Link cried.
“Alright guys, break it up.” Mario suggested, returning from his short walk along with Luigi. “We gotta figure out a way to cross the Haunted Wasteland without the Lens.”
“I can help.” Raznia offered, still holding Link. “Since us Gerudo guard the passage to the Temple, we naturally know all the shortcuts.”
“But you’re supposed to be helpin’ wit’ the recovery effort.” Link reminded her.
“I’ll still be helping if I take you guys to the Spirit Temple, right? We won’t ever recover if Midnight-Armor is still on the loose!” She pointed out. “Besides, as much as I don’t wanna admit it, I don’t think Nabi can handle him alone. We’re almost equal in combat, and if I wasn’t able to take him on, Nabi won’t do too much better, even with her sage powers. Even before you guys came, I was planning on going. You picked a great time to show up, though. There’s strength in numbers.”
“Raz…” Link sighed, holding her shoulders. “What if somethin’ happens out there? Gerudo Valley will be down two leaders…”
“You’re worried about me?” Raznia gasped, her eyes lighting up. Suddenly, she burst out laughing. “Link, I’m one of the top fighters in Hyrule! I can probably take you on without breaking a sweat! Besides, who would wanna mess this face up?” She said, fluttering her eyelashes and giving an overly cute smile.
“Midnight would do it without hesitation if he sees you again.” Link stated. “I’m jus’ sayin’ anythin’ can happen out there. And wit’ us, anything DOES happen. I don’t want you involved wit’ our luck. I’d also really like it if you stayed here and let us handle it. Jus’ tell us if there’s another way through.” Link said.
“Yeah, there’s one more way…” Raz started, backing away from Link. “After wandering the desert for a few centuries, the spirits of the people that died trying to find a shortcut start to feel sorry for you, so they show you the way.”
“Why after a few centuries? Why not after a few hours or, preferably, minutes?” Mario wondered.
“They’re spiteful.” Raznia simply replied. “They spent their lives looking, so they think you should too.”
“They sound like great people. I wonder what they were like when they were alive.” Luigi said, blatantly sarcastic.
“Luigi… Ever since we left Ganondorf’s Castle, your level of sarcasm has been astounding. Even alarming, at some points. This is seriously not like you.” Mario said, almost sounding concerned.
“All these twists and obstacles are just getting me in a bad mood.” Luigi admitted.
“Don’t worry, I’m sure something will go your way soon.” Raznia said, trying to lift his spirits. “And the sooner we get moving to the Spirit Temple, the sooner something will go your way. I’m like a good luck charm.”
“Raz…” Link sighed, protesting.
“So you want to spend a few centuries in the Haunted Wasteland?” Raznia guessed.
“That’s not a serious question, is it?” Mario asked.
“I already said I was going, so you guys definitely aren’t gonna stop me. Since we’re all going in the same direction, I just figured it’d be better if we went together. But if you guys wanna do it your way, then go ahead. I guess I’ll see ya later, then.” Raznia said, almost sounding like she was hurt and started to leave.
“Hold on, Raznia.” Mario called, promptly stalling her.
“We’re coming with you.” Luigi said. “I’m optimistic, but I seriously doubt I’ll be able to keep it up for over a hundred years.”
“So you’re all coming?” Raznia’s heart was lifted upon hearing that.
“Well, I dunno about Link, but Mario and I are definitely coming.” Luigi said.
“You hear that, Link? That means you’re coming too, right?” Raz called, playfully shoving his shoulder. “In fact, yes, you are coming. I’m not letting you go through the Haunted Wasteland without the Lens of Truth by yourself.”
Link made like he was about to protest, but stopped himself. It didn’t matter how many arguments he came up with. She’d be too stubborn to back down.
“Fine…” He muttered, defeated.
“I knew you’d see it my way.” Raznia smiled as she pinched Link’s cheek. “Let me just get my weapons and let my people know I’m going to look for Nabi. I’ll meet you guys where the gate used to be.” She said and left the infirmary.
“Man… she’s pushy, isn’t she?” Luigi realized.
“Like you wouldn’t believe.” Link sighed, rubbing where Raznia just pinched. “Aight, let’s get movin’. She’s gonna be pissed if she’s there before us.”
As they made their way to the gate leading to the Haunted Wasteland, Mario slowed Link down, letting Luigi take the lead. Link shrugged, wondering what Mario was doing.
“This is gonna turn out to be more than just a test of strength, you know.” Mario warned.
“What are you talkin’ about? We might not even have to fight.” Link said.
“Link, now’s the time to say ‘screw optimism’. We’re gonna be fighting until we save Peach and Zelda, and you know it.” Mario stated. “But what I’m getting at is this: not only are you gonna be tested physically, but faithfully as well.”
“Huh?” Link shrugged, raising his eyebrow.
“I’m trying to sound wise, you idiot…” Mario muttered. “Raznia’s really into you. She’s always trying to touch you or hold you somehow. I know you’ve noticed this.”
“She’s always like that.” Link said.
“I guess it’s just because I just met her, but to me, it looks like she wants you. Badly.” Mario said. “What gave it away was the way she held you for such a long time when you were crying and caressing your neck. You shoulda seen the smile on her face.”
“I admit, that felt overly good, but that don’t mean nothin’. And I wasn’t cryin’.” Link corrected.
“Sure you weren’t. Anyway, just watch yourself around her. Think with your mind, not with your sword. And you know I’m not talking about the Sword of Darkness.” Mario advised. “She’s an extremely pretty girl and I can see her making you forget about Samus. In fact, just to keep the distance between you two, tell her you’re already taken. I’m sure she’ll ease off a little if she knows you have a significant other.”
“Yo Mario, I appreciate the concern and all, but I got this.” Link assured. “I don’t think it’ll get that bad. Yeah, she filled out nicely. Real nicely… But I know better than to lose focus on what’s really important. Samus means a lot to me, and I’m not gonna do her dirty like that. Even if we were in different universes, I’d still stay faithful, no matter how many girls wanted to ride the Link Express. There’s only one seat on that train, and it’s reserved for Samus.”
“I don’t know if that’s sweet or sick… You’re lucky I understand what you’re trying to say. But remember, it’s always easier said than done.” Mario warned.
“Hey, guys…” Luigi muttered, slowing his pace to match the others. “I just realized I don’t know where I’m going, and yet I’m leading the way. Am I the only who sees something wrong with this picture?”
“You really need to stop the sarcasm. It doesn’t sound right coming from you.” Mario said.
“As soon as things stop being so extravagantly screw-worthy, I’ll stop.” Luigi said.
“You weren’t doin’ too bad, Luigi. We’re almost there.” Link said, taking point and leading them the rest of the way.
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Thirty minutes later…
All ready to go with her saber mounted on her back and her butterfly dagger hanging in a sheath on her hip, Raznia waited for the Link’s group to show up. It had been so long since she last saw them, she started to think they left without her, but she evaded that thought.
“God… Where are they?” Raznia wondered, her arms crossed and her foot impatiently tapping against the dusty ground.
With Link and his crew…
“God… Where are we?!” Link wondered, impatiently running through every door he saw trying to find a way out.
“Link, we’re not gonna get anywhere if you keep running around like this! Just calm down!” Mario said, trying to keep up with a frantic Link.
“I’m calm! If I seem stressed out, it’s because freakin’ Luigi led us down the wrong freakin’ hallway like a freakin’ idiot!” Link shouted angrily.
“HEY! You told me I was going the right way! Don’t pin this on me like it’s my fault!” Luigi shot back.
“I’m only pinnin’ this on you because it IS your fault!” Link accused.
“Alright, you two need to stop.” Mario demanded, greatly perturbed by the unnecessary bickering. “Arguing about whose fault it is isn’t getting us outta here any quicker! I’ll take the blame for this one: we woulda been there already if I didn’t pull Link aside for a while.”
Luigi and Link glared at each other for a second. The anger in their faces gradually subsided as they looked at each other.
“*sigh* Sorry, Luigi…” Link muttered. “I’m jus’ a little on-edge right now… Things aren’t goin’ like I planned.”
“No problem.” Luigi replied. “I guess we’re still getting used to all these twists that keep happening.”
“Man… Raznia’s probably thinkin’ we ditched her…” Link sighed. “I hope she waits around for another five minutes. I think we can get outta here by then.”
With Raznia…
“Link probably convinced them to ditch me…” She thought aloud, leaning against the gate walls. “He knows I’m not some helpless kid! I should chase them down and beat them to death, just to prove a point.”
She breathed out, while closing her eyes.
“I know Link wouldn’t grim me out like that… I’ll give them five more minutes. They probably just got lost in the fortress. It’s kinda sad if they did, though; Link should know the place like the back of his hand. I just hope they don’t end up anywhere they don’t belong, like the sauna or something…”
With Link and crew…
“Why the hell is this room so steamy? It’s hot enough as is, since we’re so close to the desert.” Link complained, wiping his brow.
“You’ve never been in a room like this?” Luigi asked, slightly amazed. “It reminds me of a sauna. People usually sit around here wearing next-to nothing, or simply nothing at all, and relax. Steam therapy is supposed to be real good for you; relieves stress.”
“I guess this is the best place to be now. That attack was pretty vicious… The Gerudo could use some therapy.” Link said.
“Hmmm… You said there are only women here, right?” Mario asked.
“There’s a guy born every hundred years, but for the most part…” Link never completed that sentence after coming to a harsh realization: they were uninvited guests in a women’s sauna room. He knew for sure the Gerudo wouldn’t appreciate this in the least bit. “Okay… Don’t panic… If we stay quiet and leave, maybe no one will notice us… In fact, there might not even be anyone in here.”
Deeper into the sauna…
“Shhh… Does anyone else hear voices?” A Gerudo woman asked, dressed in only a white towel.
Eight other minimally dressed women nodded.
Back with Raznia…
“Five minutes and still no sign of them…” She groaned, disappointed. With cruel intentions, she began to cross into the Haunted Wasteland. “They better pray I don’t find them. They are so dead…”
“EEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!”
Raznia spun around hastily after she heard the echoing wail that rang throughout Gerudo Valley. It came from the direction of the fortress and sounded like one gigantic conglomeration of voices screaming as loud as they could.
She spotted a huge dust-cloud heading toward her at rapid speeds. At the front of the cloud, three figures were seen running at full speed toward the gateway to the Haunted Wasteland.
“Link… and his friends…” She said to herself, cracking a subtle smile.
She was glad that they didn’t leave without her after all, but quickly grew upset again because of how long they made her wait.
As soon as they were close enough to hear her shouts of anger, she began yelling at them.
“How could you leave me waiting like that?! I thought you guys left…”
She stopped screaming once Mario and Luigi jetted past without paying her any mind. They’re faces were beet-red, as well as panic-stricken. She decided to scream at Link, who was just closing in. Just as she was about to begin, she noticed there were other figures in the dust-cloud.
Nine angry towel-clad Gerudo women…
“Link, what did you do?!” Raznia exclaimed, shocked by the bizarre scene.
“RUN NOW, TALK LATER!!!” A wide, fearful-eyed Link blurted out in one breath as he grabbed Raznia’s arm and picked up his speed, forcing her into a full sprint as they ventured into the Haunted Wasteland.
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“I still can’t believe you three ended up in the sauna… You know how deep in the fortress you had to have been to find it?” Raznia said, still finding Link’s ordeal utterly ridiculous.
“I’m tellin’ you: that’s jus’ the type of luck we have. We never end up where we wanna go.” Link shook his head.
“Hey, it wasn’t all that bad. We got to see some pretty women wearing nothing but towels.” Mario said, trying his hand at the optimism game. “We got a pretty long look, too, before they started screaming. And I think Luigi made a new friend.”
“What are you talking about?” Luigi wondered, turning to Mario with a puzzled expression.
“Don’t play dumb! We both saw that girl checking you out for those ten seconds before the chase. I think she winked at you.” Mario smiled, nudging Luigi’s arm with his elbow.
“Ugh… Don’t remind me…” Luigi groaned, holding his forehead and shaking his head. “Of all the Gerudo women to check me out, the one fat, beastly outcast had an eye for me…”
“Hey, that’s just more cushion for the pushin’, know what I mean?” Mario said, snickering to himself. “When we get back, find her and show her why they call you the lean, green, Luigi-machine!”
Raznia and Link started laughing once they heard that. Luigi, on the other hand, glared menacingly at his brother.
“I should kill you…” Luigi threatened.
The three continued their trek through the Haunted Wasteland. If there was one thing anyone could say about that desert, they’d say it’s impossible see just ten feet in front of them. A restless and merciless wind kicked up a sandstorm that constantly ripped through the Wasteland, eroding anything and everything that spent too much time walking through the barren badland.
“How much longer until we get there? The sand really stings and I think my face is peeling off.” Luigi whined, squinting his eyes to keep the sand out.
“I miss Optimistic Luigi. This pessimistic, *****y version is really pissing me off…” Mario groaned.
“We’re two seconds away from the halfway point. We can chill there for a little bit.” Raznia replied.
Luigi suddenly burst out laughing.
“What’s so funny?” Link wondered.
“She’s actually suggesting we can relax in a sandstorm like this!” Luigi giggled. “Not only that, but just the thought of ‘chilling’ in a desert is incredibly funny to me.”
“I said that word on purpose.” Raznia assured. “Just look ahead, you’ll see why.”
The trio looked ahead of them, and gasped in awe. In the eye of the violent sandstorm lied a clear, calm, soothing desert oasis surrounded by sporadically-placed palm trees. Traces of green grass could be seen spreading from the edge of the small pond in the center, but stopping not even two feet away from it.
“Beautiful.” The trio uttered simultaneously as they made their way toward the pond.
“Sure is.” Raznia agreed. “This is actually one of my hangout spots. Whenever I need some me-time, I just come here. I know I’ll never be bothered; no one likes traveling through all that.”
“I don’t blame ‘em.” Link agreed, looking back at the sandstorm surrounding them. It was almost kind of eerie to him how this particular spot could stay so calm when nothing but chaos surrounded it 24/7.
Link and the brothers decided to get a drink of water and rest up a little before they headed back into entropy. While he rested, Link simply stared up into the clouds, noticing the sky was slowly gaining a tint of red. This meant the sun was setting. He got up to get one last drink before suggesting they get back to traveling. He noticed Raznia sitting against the base of a palm tree, staring out into the sandstorm and looking concerned. Link decided to check up on her, just to make sure she was alright.
“Yo.” Link greeted, sitting next to her.
“Hey.” Raznia replied, changing her sitting position and now resting her arm on her raised knee.
“You alright? I never seen you lookin’ so worried about anything before.” Link said.
“Nothing ever happened to get me this worried before.” Raznia said. “I just can’t believe one guy was able to handle us like that. It would've taken almost all of the Hylian army to just hold us at bay.” She closed her eyes and sighed. “I just hope Nabi’s alright in there.”
“She should be. She didn’t become the Sage of Spirit because she was a pushover, right?” Link said, trying to help Raznia feel better. “Trust me; we’ll be there before anything truly grim happens.”
Raznia turned to Link and smiled. She appreciated his concern. Link returned a smile of his own. Both of them turned back to stare into the raging storm.
“What are we lookin’ at?” Link wondered.
“That’s basically where the Spirit Temple is. We should be there before the sun sets.” She answered, deciding to rest her head on Link’s shoulder.
His heart skipped a beat. He immediately rose up to his feet, almost letting Raznia fall into the sand.
“Well, the sun is settin’ now, so we should get movin’ if we wanna guarantee that.” Link said nervously, pretending he had to stretch.
Suddenly, two voices screamed out in surprise.
“What the hell?!” They shouted in unison.
Link and Raznia turned toward Mario and Luigi’s direction. The way they were jumping around and swinging their arms, it looked like they were fighting. Little, green, flan-looking creatures were rising from the ground without warning and attacking the brothers’ feet.
“Go****it, Leevers!” Link shouted angrily.
The brothers were getting pushed back and surrounded. They frantically threw as many fireballs as they could. The monsters went down easy enough, but there were so many of them, it didn’t matter. Replacement Leevers came in faster than the brothers could defeat them
“They’re gonna get eaten alive if we don’t help them!” Raznia urgently suggested.
“I got this.” Link assured, materializing his sword and shield in his hands.
In the blink of an eye, he jetted into the center of the ordeal, right where Mario and Luigi were standing. On his way, he slashed his way through a line of Leevers, disintegrating them into nothingness with one swift swing.
“Sup guys.” Link greeted as he stood in front of the brothers in a defensive stance.
“Nothing much. We’re just surrounded by a legion of strange little monster-things. The usual stuff.” Luigi said as if it were a matter-of-fact.
“What are they? They just keep coming!” Mario shouted.
“Remember those Leevers I told you about back in Mute City? These are them. I don’t remember if I told you they like to come in hoardes or not.” Link said.
“I don’t think you did.” Mario recalled. “They’re closing in on us… Any plans?”
“Duck.” Link commanded as he assumed an attack stance behind his shield, whose eye was half opened.
Heeding his warning, the brothers hit the deck. Link then held his sword out the same way he would when he was charging his Spin Attack. His black blade began to glow, becoming surrounded in a light, wispy-blue aura. The light around him began to dissipate, leaving his sword as the only source of light.
“HHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAA!!!” Link bellowed as he spun nine hundred degrees in a quick, tight circle.
Each revolution he made with his blade created an energy wave. The three waves combined into one huge power wave, capable of obliterating anything that stood in its way. Of course, the army of Leevers was no exception. With a high-pitched screech of pain, each Leever the wave touched was annihilated completely, leaving nothing but a fine dust behind.
The brothers rose to their feet and looked around them. Every single Leever they had seen before was gone. Mario and Luigi looked at Link in awe.
“Link!” Raznia shouted, jogging toward the trio. “Link, that was just…”
“****in’ incredible? ****-straight!” Link boasted, dematerializing his weapons. “You have no idea how good that felt. I hate Leevers with a passion.”
“I’m kinda worried, though. This is the first time Leevers ever showed up here.” Raznia admitted.
“Welcome to our luck.” Link said.
“Everything that’s not supposed to happen happens with us.” Luigi said. “It takes a little getting used to.”
“Just a little, right?” Raznia laughed. “Well, don’t forget, I’m your good luck charm! It could’ve been a lot worse.”
“You shouldn’t have said that…” Mario, Link, and Luigi regretfully sighed simultaneously, shaking their heads.
Suddenly, the eye of the storm closed shut, thrusting all four of them back into the violent sandstorm. They also felt seismic activity under their feet, which seemed to grow stronger as time went on. Link noticed the eye on his shield was wide open at this point.
“My shield’s eye is wide open…” He warned.
“What’s that mean?” Raznia asked, concerned.
“Things are about to get amazingly grimy.” Link answered.
Suddenly, from under the sand, one humongous blue Leever erupted and menacingly stood before them. It screeched violently at them, and made like it was about to rush them. They all jumped into the defensive, but then another thunderous tremor rumbled the ground. They thought this was the Giant Leever’s doing, but they were able to somehow tell the Leever was just as shocked as they were.
“What now?!” Mario shouted.
Immediately answering his question, something exploded from the sand, throwing everyone off their feet and helplessly into the air.
Once Link landed, he glanced around just to see what his situation was like now. When he looked up, he noticed the Leever was still up in the air, on a downward decent now. He followed its fall until it vanished into the mouth of an even more gargantuan creature.
“Holy ****… A sandworm?!” Link gasped as he studied the new menace.
The first thing he noticed about it was that it was long. And half of its dirt-brown colored, tube-like body was still under the ground. The creature also didn’t seem to have a face. It just had one huge mouth, with rows and rows of sharp, ravenous teeth tracing the circumference.
Just realizing both of his weapons got knocked out of his hands, he reached around frantically for them. He found his shield almost immediately, but his sword was nowhere to be found.
“Link!” A voice shouted faintly through the howling storm.
“Raznia!” He shouted back, recognizing who it was.
Link jumped up and followed her cries. He found her buried waste deep in sand and the sandworm staring threateningly at her. A long, red, tongue-looking organ drooled out of its mouth. The creature swung its head around twice and was about to slam the helpless Raznia under its massive and heavy appendage.
She let out a scream of fear and ducked her head. She flinched when she heard a clang and felt some sand get kicked up into her face. Curious as to why she hadn’t been flattened yet, she looked up to see Link struggling to fight off the worm, holding its tongue back with his shield.
He managed to throw the tongue up and delivered a heavy somersault kick. The monster let out a pained screech and sucked in its appendage. Before it completely pulled it back in, Link noticed his sword stuck near the tip of the creature’s tongue. The sandworm then burrowed back under the sand, kicking up another blast of stinging sand. Link shielded himself and Raznia from the onslaught, then pulled her out of the sand when it died down.
“You alright?” Link asked.
“I’m fine.” Raznia assured, dusting the excess sand off of her. “This is the first time I’ve ever seen anything like this! This shortcut's supposed to be easy to get through! We should’ve been at the Spirit Temple by now!”
“I told you anythin’ and everythin’ happens to us!” Link exclaimed. “Where’s Mario and Luigi?”
“Last time I saw them, they were flying through the air. I hope they’re alright…” She said.
“They should be.” Link said. “We need to figure out a way to get my sword back. It’s stuck on that thing’s tongue.”
Before Raznia could answer, she felt the ground rumbling beneath her again. She looked up to Link and shoved him backward as she backflipped out of the way. Right on cue, the monstrous sandworm erupted out of the ground with a thunderous bellow and landed with enough force to register as a small earthquake. It began slithering away from them at surprisingly quick speeds.
Raznia took the opportunity to unsheathe her saber and butterfly dagger and assumed a fighting stance. Link looked to her for a second. She acknowledged him with a nod. Link nodded back as the sandworm made a u-turn and charged at them, swinging its tongue recklessly back and forth. Just when its tongue was within prime swinging range, Raznia gracefully cartwheeled out of the way. Link, on the other hand, stood his ground and moved his shield further up his arm, delivering a devastating backhand blow to the creature’s soft spot. The sandworm’s upper-body got jerked off course by the blow and slid to the side, skidding to a halt.
Raznia then jumped on top of what seemed to be the exposed underbelly of the beast and impaled her saber into the middle. Her blade bounced off it’s skin with a “clank”, then the monstrosity flipped itself right-side up. Raznia jumped off just before the creature could crush her. She found herself in a tougher spot, though. The sandworm curled itself into ring, and Raznia was standing right in the middle.
“Raz!” Link shouted out as he tried to beat his way into the tight circle.
Throwing its tongue out once again, it thrust its upper body at her, trying to knock her out. Perfectly timing the moment of impact, Raznia thrust both her blades into its oncoming tongue. It met with more force than she expect, knocking her forcefully to the side, but she was still able to hold onto blades, hanging on for dear life as the agonizing sandworm wildly swung its tongue around in pain.
Managing to gain some balance, Raznia catapulted off her blades, ripping them out of the monster’s tongue, and landed right on top of it on both feet. There, she spotted Link’s Sword of Darkness and was about to run toward it. She suddenly realized she couldn’t move her feet! The top of the sandworm’s tongue was coated with some amazingly sticky mucus. As hard as she fought, she couldn’t escape. And to make matters worse, the tongue was being pulled into the worm’s mouth.
“What is she doin’? Get away from there!” Link shouted at an immobile Raznia.
She knew for sure if she didn’t escape now, she’d be ripped to shreds. Seconds before she was about to be engulfed, she noticed the creature’s one little green eye blinking rapidly. Hoping for the best, she threw her butterfly blade directly at the center of the monster’s pupil. Link watched in anticipation as he watched the dagger hit its mark.
“YES!!!” They both celebrated as the monster froze momentarily from the wave of pain that traveled through every long inch of its body.
Suddenly, it insanely jerked its entire body around, with Raznia still stuck on its tongue. She would’ve been thrown off a long time ago, but the mucus still held on strong. Link could only stand back and watch the monster viciously thrash all over the place. After a wild fifteen seconds, the monster finally fainted from the pain, letting its tongue droop limply out of its mouth. Link ran up to his sword and finally claimed what was rightfully his.
And his first order of business: mercilessly hacking off the sandworm’s tongue. A thick, green, dense liquid came spilling out of the sandworm’s mouth. The mucus on its dismembered tongue also dried up immediately, freeing Raznia from her sticky prison. She jumped off the tongue and landed right next to Link, who watched the creature arc its upper-body upward and letting a long pained and exhausted groan echo into the sky. Its groan soon changed into a gurgled moan, suggesting the worm was drowning in its own bodily fluids. Finally, it limply collapsed, remaining lifelessly still.
“We make a pretty good team.” Raznia said to Link with a smile.
“Definitely.” Link replied.
The creature’s body began to crumble and disintegrated into the sand. Nothing was left except one glowing burgundy-red piece barely sticking out of the sand. Link cautiously unearthed the piece from under the sand and studied it. As it glowed, it emitted an evil aura. Suddenly, the piece shattered in his hand and flew toward the Spirit Temple.
“I knew it…” Link muttered as he put his sword and shield away.
“Is everything okay?” Raznia wondered, noticing the grim expression on Link’s face.
“Things are more serious than I thought…” Link sighed. “First, let’s find Mario and Luigi.”
Link and Raznia found themselves in the calm eye of the storm, which returned the desert oasis back to its original splendor. Wild splashing was heard coming from the pond. As they got closer to the small body of water, they saw Mario and Luigi crawling out, looking incredibly exhausted and soaked to the bone.
“What happened to you two?” Link asked, kneeling down to help Mario up on his feet.
“Quicksand… We got knocked into quicksand…” Mario huffed tiredly.
“We actually landed back into the pond, but there was so much sand in the water, it created quicksand.” Luigi recounted, lazily resting on his back. “We spent a whole lotta time trying to jump out, but we got exhausted and were about to give up. Luckily, the sandstorm died and the water miraculously cleaned out. We had just enough strength to swim out.”
“Looks like we both caught a lucky break.” Raznia said. “I almost got eaten.”
Mario and Luigi let out a tired laugh.
“Yo, I figured some stuff out.” Link started. “We got attacked by a sandworm: the first sandworm in Hyrule, ever. When we killed it, it dropped a shard of a weapon. Right there, I knew it was a manifestation of the weapon’s power, not a real worm.”
“Wow… Just the shard was that strong…” Raznia muttered.
“What weapon could be that strong?” Mario inquired.
“The Soul Blade.” Link answered. “This isn’t the first time I encountered it. Last time, it willed one of our most powerful magicians into doin’ all types of grim ****. I shut him down quick and thought that was the end of it, but I found out it was really the Soul Blade controlling his mind. I set out to destroy it, and I thought I did, but just a second ago I was holding a piece of it in my hand.” He foretold. “I also know who Midnight-Armor is: Nightmare. He used to be one of the good guys, but after he set out to find his father’s murderer, he found the Soul Blade. It slowly convinced him that the only way to resurrect his pops was to absorb as many souls as he could. The more souls he took, the stronger the sword’s hold was on him. He didn’t even remember who he was anymore. Eventually, he was defeated by some other guy wielding the Soul Calibur: Soul Blade’s equal in opposite energy. Everyone thought he was done for, but lo and behold, he’s here in Hyrule, screwin’ up our natural balance. And since he has a constant supply of souls in the Spirit Temple, he’s gonna be insanely powerful by the time we reach him.”
The other three just stayed silent. What Link just described to them was a lot to absorb. And if what he said was true, they were in for the fight of their lives.
“You know what pisses me off the most?” Mario started. “This isn’t even the final battle. And yet, this is shaping up to be the most difficult fight in our entire journey! By the time we reach Ganondorf and Bowser, we’re gonna be so weak, they’ll walk all over us!”
“I actually wouldn’t be surprised if Ganondorf was actually behind this.” Luigi sighed.
“Neither would I. It’s jus’ freakin’ amazin’ how many connections this guy has…” Link said.
“On top of this, you have to face Ganondorf? Again?!” Raznia gasped upon learning this new info.
“I’ll tell you about it later. It’s a crazy-*** tale.” Link said.
“Alright, I know things are urgent and everything, but I really can’t move right now.” Mario mentioned, falling to the floor. “I’m sorry, but I need a few minutes to get back whatever I lost trying to jump out the quicksand. I’m pretty sure Luigi needs it too.”
“Ha ha! You couldn’t be more right, my brother.” Luigi verified, still sprawled out exhausted on the ground.
“We’re all gonna have to be at 100% if we wanna stand a chance.” Link said.
“You’re right… But don’t get too comfortable. As soon as you’re able to stand, we’re going.” Raznia warned.
“Fine by me.” Mario nodded.
The sky quickly became midnight, nightmarish-black. This only reminded them of the ordeal they were about to experience very shortly…
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We're getting closer to the closing! What do I have planned? Even I don't know! We'll all find out hopefully before the end of this month.
keep up the great work