Ultimate Johns

[_KuyaSombreo_]

Discuss the biggest john you can think of, either from experience or something hypothetical.

Mine:

playing a tournament when suddenly theres a power outage, and all the tv's break....

Got anything better?

 

[UberMario]

My controller fell out in the finals of a real tournament. ._. Bye bye $500.

 

[_KuyaSombreo_]

What do you mean "fell out", like it broke apart? lol

PS cool im a "Smash Cadet" now, i didnt know that was a rank

 

[Fuelbi]

I once complained to my friend that I lost because I was the blue kirby(which is true because for some reason the only kirbys Im capable of proffessionally capable of playing with is yellow and pink kirby...)

 

[_KuyaSombreo_]

nah man you gotta go with green kirby

hulk kirby is the best

 

[Tacel]

The Ultimate John...

Satan comes and tells him/her to let the other player win or he/she will be killed in the most slow and painful manner imaginable, and after he/she finally dies, he/she will be sent to hell to be deep fried in an fiery acid ocean of Captain Falcon-metal-demon sharks and crocodiles with a never ending digestive system with lasers on their heads that Falcon Pawnch for an eternity.

 

[peregrine monkey]

Having the guy who's facing you tell your friend to grab your controller. I had to beat him with it to get him off. Meanwhile, I lost the match.

 

[Pikaville]

My friend: Dude I think the sensor bar is off.

Me: Eh were both using gamecube controllers,what are you talking about?

My friend: ****

 

[mr.fizwidget]

at one tourney in PLUR's apartment a cat jumped in front of the tv and started swatting at a technical falcon...

because of this i got stomp>kneed

 

[GunmasterLombardi]

We both lost, because Chuck Norris always wins.


I was under mind control. I lost the match because Captain Falcon said so.

 

[D13]

But my hands were sweaty!

 

[INSANE CARZY GUY]

The things to john about most for pichu are
1. man I have a moded controller or something man cause I won
2.fair and dair when I try to di with the c-stick
3.Pichu has more taunts than me
4.veitnam like mindgames
5. I missed at picking fox
6.random picking sucks doesn't it.
7. Sorry but, this is a pichu banned tourment
8.No fair pichu flashed me when he used d-tilt(they go to slow-mo, gaint melee to try it again)
9.Dude your a jerk pichu vs pichu is like 10-90 you douche
10. hey you unpuged my controller

And yes I have used most on this list

 

[Эикельманн [РУС]]

You have a seizure mid match.

Ultimate Johns.


More realistic, you say?

Ok.

Arm/Leg cramp mid match.

 

[L__]

4.veitnam like mindgames

john
(noun)

A statement or action that detracts from the validity or quality of a competition (or its implied significance), irrespective of truth.

lol wut?

 

[CRASHiC]

john for not going to Genesis-

"I was so baked I bought a ticket to Cambodia instead of California >_<"

- A Florida player

 

[Fuelbi]

Seriously lol. Id die if I bought the wrong ticket.

ANYWAYS, I got a carpal tunnel in midmatch with a friend and failed to recover with kirby

 

[The Drifter]

Has anyone ever heard the old "Melee is less responsive than Brawl" john. A friend of mie did this when I stomped him in Melee a few days ago...

 

[CRASHiC]

lol what? If he says that, tell him, No, Brawl is more responsive. You can buffer your moves to come out sooner in Brawl.

 

[Chronodiver Lokii]

@Roacherman: Isnt carpal tunnel a disease that takes a few years of stress on your wrists to get? WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING TO YOUR POOR WRISTS? LOL

 

[Dr.Brawl]

@Roacherman: Isnt carpal tunnel a disease that takes a few years of stress on your wrists to get? WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING TO YOUR POOR WRISTS? LOL

It more or less an extreme build up tension and over use on the bones and tendons of the wrist.

Probably the funniest john i have ever heard though was when i brought my friend to a local tournament, and he was playing the worst person in the shop. He lost the match saying " you know if i was using the store's controllers i would have won instead of using your controller. I would have been able to recover but i only missed by one inch." In all honesty i saw the match and no way in hell was he going to recover.

 

[Rain the Link Main]

Has anyone ever heard the old "Melee is less responsive than Brawl" john. A friend of mie did this when I stomped him in Melee a few days ago...

It's not "less responsive". He's just angry because he can't play without any timing in Melee, lol.

 

[mr.fizwidget]

Has anyone ever heard the old "Melee is less responsive than Brawl" john. A friend of mie did this when I stomped him in Melee a few days ago...

i have a friend who plays brawl and he always says melee is too slow for him lol

he is like, "i told it to do down smash and it doesnt even work"

he doesnt understand the lack of buffering

 

[Silk]

If your opponent is playing a top tier character and you whine, that's a john.

If your opponent is playing as the pink/white Captain Falcon and you start drooling, that's legit. Dude is just too sexy.

 

[_KuyaSombreo_]

funny stuff