D
Deleted member
Guest
Greetings everyone. You may or may not know me. I have had many social interactions in the past, and I am looking for advice and a proper place to vent in here. I have been in SmashBoards in the past, and a lot transpired. There has been a lot of toxic and rough drama for years, and I want to share it all in this large essay. One thing to note is that this is all in my point of view. I have listed my grievances of my interactions, and how other people communicated with me. Here is all of the information of myself and my experiences that I can gether, and here are my stories of socializing in the internet. Do I have a life? No. Should I be ashamed? Yes. Socializing is not something I can do well, and it is important to be careful when interacting with people. An important thing to read here is I will keep all the Discord servers and people's names anonymous. The nicknames I have given to the Discord servers and to other people are not their real usernames or just names, they are fake. If I make an error, please let me know so I can fix it. I apologize for any errors I post. No harassing others, please! Be respectful! Now you can continue and read my experiences.
In 2017, I joined SmashBoards for the first time.
I started posting more in 2018 at NintenZone. I started to get a lot of likes, post, and thus transform into a prominent member. People began to become more attracted to me, as I started posting more. However, things weren’t that simple. I used to be more awkward and I would post stupid stuff, and this started to frustrate people. There would be pages of people calling me out. Of course I did some wrong actions, but the callouts became harsher and longer. It even led to half of the thread blocking me at one point. I would make mistakes, but rather than the staff punishing me for them, it led to chaos from the users. It got ridiculous, and everyone was frustrated with me overall. I felt like I made a worse than better impact in NintenZone.I am not saying I am a complete victim, I am just saying I deserved to be treated better.
Around late 2018 or early 2019, NintenZone was slowly being replaced by the Social Thread. This Social Thread was before the one we are in now. It was a mixture of the old NintenZone users, and some new users. It was a fresh experience, and there were many new users. However, of course, drama ensured, and it became worse. Some new users really loved attention or just yelling at people, so they would be quite harsh towards me, and gain a ton of likes. Sometimes, it felt as if complaining about Shiny was used for likes rather than my betterment, but that could be me being a bit salty. Anyways, as more users joined, they all presented harsher attacks. I was even physically threatened by the users. I had to improve, of course, but the hate was too much for me to bear, so as a result, I continued to do stupid things, and everyone continued to be more cruel. Users even started to make fun of me, such as the way I try to communicate with others. They called me a “robot” because of my formal typing. Now I don’t really care, but at the time, I found it offensive. I was also compared to previous problematic users by everyone, and everyone loved to use me as what a person should not be. It hurt me quite a lot.
Then, things started to go REALLY downhill. There was a very problematic user. I will keep them anonymous, so I will just call them Brett. Brett was an interesting user at first. Quite a bit horny. I thought they were a troll at first, and I called them out for it, but they made a wacky “roast”, and of course it gets flooded with likes. Brett was on the rise. Brett would have strange moments, but no one largely called them out for it, because everyone liked them as a friend. If only I was liked as a good friend there… Anyways, Brett started to tell everyone they had tuberculosis and some other disease that I forgot. Many people including I shared our sympathies. It was a tragic moment, and everyone banded together to offer support for Brett.
Then, it happened. It was announced Brett had died of their diseases. Everyone in the thread mourned, and someone even drew a picture to accommodate Brett. This was a tragic moment of SmashBoards, and everyone was hoping they would rest in peace, especially me. We could not believe a user that we all loved perished… It seemed like everyone would respect and remember them forever…
This is where everything goes to ****ing hell. It turns out, Brett faked the ENTIRE thing. Yes, the disease, the death… All just an act for attention. Brett revealed it themselves in a DM. Everyone was infuriated. We were lied to and manipulated… How awful! Everyone was in shock, and it hurt many of us. People were discarding their well wishes, and now everyone was ****ing pissed for a damn great reason. The thread was chaos. People were pissed off at Brett, and they started attacking other things, like the staff. This would be an issue later. We had been lied and betrayed to, and it hurt.
It only gets worse from here. I sighed as I typed this. It turns out, a very nice friend who I will keep anonymous and I was in a DM with Brett. I will give my very nice friend the name Dyrotia. Dyrotia is a friendly and sweet girl. Anyways, Brett made us go through sexual roleplay, and it felt very awkward and painful. Dyrotia and I were both victims of pedophilic acts. I couldn’t handle it, so Dyrotia and I revealed it on Discord and in SmashBoards. Everyone showed their sympathies to both of us. It was a very tragic moment. This caused many users to be uncomfortable with the social thread. There were even suggestions that we call the pigs, but Dyrotia and I disagreed. I myself hate pigs. ACAB. Anyways, everyone was exhausted. This Brett drama was too much for us, and we really hoped this would never happen again. Moments like these destroy trust among others, and it was quite tragic. The Brett situation happened around the spring of 2019.
However, more drama ensured. Now it was the summer of 2019. It took way too long for a ****ty transphobe and islamophobe to be banned, and a well-loved administrator was kicked out for a poor reason. More information about staff corruption leaked. Many users including me were furious at the staff, and a lot of anti-staff posts ensured. There were even jokes about us pretending to be Vladimir Lenin against the evil staff. This drama with the staff ushered in a new era of the SmashBoards socialization. Many users in the social thread, especially the old NintenZone users, left the Social Thread to join a Discord server I will mention later. The Brett disaster and the staff drama became too much for them, including me. On 4 July 2019, I was outraged by all of this. I started getting political, I started bashing on America and pissing off many. As a result I was banned. To be fair, it was reasonable. Anyways, I deleted my SmashBoards account, and I left SmashBoards. I would not return for more than a year. I highly doubt I was missed, considering all of the **** I have caused. Right?
Overall, SmashBoards in 2018-2019 was a mixed bag. We had great moments, and awful moments. The awful moments were quite tough on me. I will admit I was quite flawed. I posted a lot of horny content, and I gave stupid advice to adults that knew life better. I have also gotten myself into conversations I do not understand, and that pissed people off. I should have been a better user, and I apologize for my previous actions. Some people even complained that I was not myself, or some people claimed I was overreacting and I was just fine. I really should have tried better. I should have gone to evolving myself, like reading or studying a new language, or actually thinking before posting, rather than being my dumb self. I have failed. My “failure” of being what I wanted to be is another issue that makes me depressed.
I started posting more in 2018 at NintenZone. I started to get a lot of likes, post, and thus transform into a prominent member. People began to become more attracted to me, as I started posting more. However, things weren’t that simple. I used to be more awkward and I would post stupid stuff, and this started to frustrate people. There would be pages of people calling me out. Of course I did some wrong actions, but the callouts became harsher and longer. It even led to half of the thread blocking me at one point. I would make mistakes, but rather than the staff punishing me for them, it led to chaos from the users. It got ridiculous, and everyone was frustrated with me overall. I felt like I made a worse than better impact in NintenZone.I am not saying I am a complete victim, I am just saying I deserved to be treated better.
Around late 2018 or early 2019, NintenZone was slowly being replaced by the Social Thread. This Social Thread was before the one we are in now. It was a mixture of the old NintenZone users, and some new users. It was a fresh experience, and there were many new users. However, of course, drama ensured, and it became worse. Some new users really loved attention or just yelling at people, so they would be quite harsh towards me, and gain a ton of likes. Sometimes, it felt as if complaining about Shiny was used for likes rather than my betterment, but that could be me being a bit salty. Anyways, as more users joined, they all presented harsher attacks. I was even physically threatened by the users. I had to improve, of course, but the hate was too much for me to bear, so as a result, I continued to do stupid things, and everyone continued to be more cruel. Users even started to make fun of me, such as the way I try to communicate with others. They called me a “robot” because of my formal typing. Now I don’t really care, but at the time, I found it offensive. I was also compared to previous problematic users by everyone, and everyone loved to use me as what a person should not be. It hurt me quite a lot.
Then, things started to go REALLY downhill. There was a very problematic user. I will keep them anonymous, so I will just call them Brett. Brett was an interesting user at first. Quite a bit horny. I thought they were a troll at first, and I called them out for it, but they made a wacky “roast”, and of course it gets flooded with likes. Brett was on the rise. Brett would have strange moments, but no one largely called them out for it, because everyone liked them as a friend. If only I was liked as a good friend there… Anyways, Brett started to tell everyone they had tuberculosis and some other disease that I forgot. Many people including I shared our sympathies. It was a tragic moment, and everyone banded together to offer support for Brett.
Then, it happened. It was announced Brett had died of their diseases. Everyone in the thread mourned, and someone even drew a picture to accommodate Brett. This was a tragic moment of SmashBoards, and everyone was hoping they would rest in peace, especially me. We could not believe a user that we all loved perished… It seemed like everyone would respect and remember them forever…
This is where everything goes to ****ing hell. It turns out, Brett faked the ENTIRE thing. Yes, the disease, the death… All just an act for attention. Brett revealed it themselves in a DM. Everyone was infuriated. We were lied to and manipulated… How awful! Everyone was in shock, and it hurt many of us. People were discarding their well wishes, and now everyone was ****ing pissed for a damn great reason. The thread was chaos. People were pissed off at Brett, and they started attacking other things, like the staff. This would be an issue later. We had been lied and betrayed to, and it hurt.
It only gets worse from here. I sighed as I typed this. It turns out, a very nice friend who I will keep anonymous and I was in a DM with Brett. I will give my very nice friend the name Dyrotia. Dyrotia is a friendly and sweet girl. Anyways, Brett made us go through sexual roleplay, and it felt very awkward and painful. Dyrotia and I were both victims of pedophilic acts. I couldn’t handle it, so Dyrotia and I revealed it on Discord and in SmashBoards. Everyone showed their sympathies to both of us. It was a very tragic moment. This caused many users to be uncomfortable with the social thread. There were even suggestions that we call the pigs, but Dyrotia and I disagreed. I myself hate pigs. ACAB. Anyways, everyone was exhausted. This Brett drama was too much for us, and we really hoped this would never happen again. Moments like these destroy trust among others, and it was quite tragic. The Brett situation happened around the spring of 2019.
However, more drama ensured. Now it was the summer of 2019. It took way too long for a ****ty transphobe and islamophobe to be banned, and a well-loved administrator was kicked out for a poor reason. More information about staff corruption leaked. Many users including me were furious at the staff, and a lot of anti-staff posts ensured. There were even jokes about us pretending to be Vladimir Lenin against the evil staff. This drama with the staff ushered in a new era of the SmashBoards socialization. Many users in the social thread, especially the old NintenZone users, left the Social Thread to join a Discord server I will mention later. The Brett disaster and the staff drama became too much for them, including me. On 4 July 2019, I was outraged by all of this. I started getting political, I started bashing on America and pissing off many. As a result I was banned. To be fair, it was reasonable. Anyways, I deleted my SmashBoards account, and I left SmashBoards. I would not return for more than a year. I highly doubt I was missed, considering all of the **** I have caused. Right?
Overall, SmashBoards in 2018-2019 was a mixed bag. We had great moments, and awful moments. The awful moments were quite tough on me. I will admit I was quite flawed. I posted a lot of horny content, and I gave stupid advice to adults that knew life better. I have also gotten myself into conversations I do not understand, and that pissed people off. I should have been a better user, and I apologize for my previous actions. Some people even complained that I was not myself, or some people claimed I was overreacting and I was just fine. I really should have tried better. I should have gone to evolving myself, like reading or studying a new language, or actually thinking before posting, rather than being my dumb self. I have failed. My “failure” of being what I wanted to be is another issue that makes me depressed.
Now that I left SmashBoards, rather than fix myself heavily, I settled on a Discord server. I will keep this Discord server’s name anonymous and call it The Old Hangout. Better to give it a nice nickname rather than “Discord Server A”, right? Anyways, the Old Hangout consisted of the mostly old SmashBoards members that left after the whole Brett and staff fiasco. They were trying to avoid the drama that was rampant in the social thread of SmashBoards, and I respect that. It was a fun, nice server with ****posts, Smash discussion, and just a chill atmosphere. It was quite relaxing and enjoyable! I could even ****ing swear! I joined this server way before I left SmashBoards, but I fully dedicated myself to it after the staff meltdown. I was one of the first members. Things seemed like they would go great afterwards, but… It didn’t…
As I dived into the Old Hangout, I found myself experiencing drama once again. I got into heated debates over video game characters, which was awkward, and I often overreacted to jokes and posts. However, as usual, the responses were harsh. Now that the old SmashBoards users had more control over me, they would give me a lot of mutes and warnings, even if some of them seemed unfair. Everytime I made a stupid random post, or got angry at someone’s opinion, it was straight up a warning. I get that I deserve to be punished at times, but I felt like it was easier for me to get in trouble than the other users. I feel like because I was ShinyLegendary who has caused drama in SmashBoards, the old users would finally be able to release their rage onto me by giving me harsh punishments. I felt like there was a large distance between The Old Hangout users and I, and I got frustrated, as I felt like there was bias against me in the Old Hangout. People also got my pronouns wrong and called me a male, which really hurt me. I vented my frustrations, and I continued to rack in punishments. When I spoke out against being bullied by some of the members in the Old Hangout, some people thought I was lying, and that really frustrated me. I was bullied, and if you disagree, either point out valid facts that I can debate, or leave me alone.
Eventually, this led to me getting banned from the server. All of this drama resulted in my ban from the Old Hangout. It was a very nice server, but the bullying was too much. I was bullied by harsh punishments compared to other users, harsh words against my views and tastes, and making fun of me because of how I type or how I function. I am not a normal human being, and I was made fun of because of this. The ban made me quite bitter. It felt like a humiliation. It feels like I would be less respected on the internet overall. The Old Hangout felt like a tick or a curse that stuck onto me, to remind me that I am a horrible person, and settling into communities will eventually cause drama or get me banned. It also made me feel like a failure, and it is one of the reasons why my self-esteem is so low, and why I wish for death. I admit I deserved to be punished on some fronts, but my main complaint is my punishments were quite unfair.
Before you complain that I am victimizing myself, I did things wrong. I did horny post at times, but not as much thankfully, I spammed unnecessary random stuff, and I did not think before posting enough. I overreacted to dark humor, and that frustrated some people. I should have improved and learned from SmashBoards rather than jumping into another community like that. The Old Hangout has positively affected me in certain stances, like helping me to increase my pool of knowledge in entertainment, and it made me seek therapy, which was very kind of them. Even if some of them got my pronouns wrong, they still accepted me overall in terms of my self-identification, which was great! However, the bullying was too much of an enormous burden for me to handle. Overall, my experience with the Old Hangout felt quite bitter, and I felt like the negative memories of me getting banned and yelled at overrode the positive memories. This tragic moment happened in November of 2019. After that, I quit Smash speculation all together, and I felt demoralized and mentally exhausted and in pain.
As I dived into the Old Hangout, I found myself experiencing drama once again. I got into heated debates over video game characters, which was awkward, and I often overreacted to jokes and posts. However, as usual, the responses were harsh. Now that the old SmashBoards users had more control over me, they would give me a lot of mutes and warnings, even if some of them seemed unfair. Everytime I made a stupid random post, or got angry at someone’s opinion, it was straight up a warning. I get that I deserve to be punished at times, but I felt like it was easier for me to get in trouble than the other users. I feel like because I was ShinyLegendary who has caused drama in SmashBoards, the old users would finally be able to release their rage onto me by giving me harsh punishments. I felt like there was a large distance between The Old Hangout users and I, and I got frustrated, as I felt like there was bias against me in the Old Hangout. People also got my pronouns wrong and called me a male, which really hurt me. I vented my frustrations, and I continued to rack in punishments. When I spoke out against being bullied by some of the members in the Old Hangout, some people thought I was lying, and that really frustrated me. I was bullied, and if you disagree, either point out valid facts that I can debate, or leave me alone.
Eventually, this led to me getting banned from the server. All of this drama resulted in my ban from the Old Hangout. It was a very nice server, but the bullying was too much. I was bullied by harsh punishments compared to other users, harsh words against my views and tastes, and making fun of me because of how I type or how I function. I am not a normal human being, and I was made fun of because of this. The ban made me quite bitter. It felt like a humiliation. It feels like I would be less respected on the internet overall. The Old Hangout felt like a tick or a curse that stuck onto me, to remind me that I am a horrible person, and settling into communities will eventually cause drama or get me banned. It also made me feel like a failure, and it is one of the reasons why my self-esteem is so low, and why I wish for death. I admit I deserved to be punished on some fronts, but my main complaint is my punishments were quite unfair.
Before you complain that I am victimizing myself, I did things wrong. I did horny post at times, but not as much thankfully, I spammed unnecessary random stuff, and I did not think before posting enough. I overreacted to dark humor, and that frustrated some people. I should have improved and learned from SmashBoards rather than jumping into another community like that. The Old Hangout has positively affected me in certain stances, like helping me to increase my pool of knowledge in entertainment, and it made me seek therapy, which was very kind of them. Even if some of them got my pronouns wrong, they still accepted me overall in terms of my self-identification, which was great! However, the bullying was too much of an enormous burden for me to handle. Overall, my experience with the Old Hangout felt quite bitter, and I felt like the negative memories of me getting banned and yelled at overrode the positive memories. This tragic moment happened in November of 2019. After that, I quit Smash speculation all together, and I felt demoralized and mentally exhausted and in pain.
Now that I was banned from the Old Hangout, I had to migrate to another community. I was already on multiple servers, but the one I decided to settle into was different from SmashBoards. It had a few members already present in here, but it was quite different from SmashBoards and the Old Hangout. I want to keep Discord server names anonymous, so I will nickname this one The Colorful Umbrella. I was already in the Colorful Umbrella before, but I increased my presence. The Colorful Umbrella was a server that was not based as hard on SmashBoards, which was a new experience for me. New topics for me to talk about? New people? The Colorful Umbrella had some new friendly people that I can communicate with, and they seemed quite nice! Basically all of them were a part of the LGBTQ+ community, and it made me feel home. What could possibly go wrong? Everything went wrong…
As I started to settle in the Colorful Umbrella, people started to become more connected to me. However, as people started to learn about me, they slowly saw my glaring flaws and became frustrated with me. Slowly I started to realize that this was going to be a repeat of SmashBoards and the Old Hangout. I vented a lot in the support channel, and I was met with harsh criticism on my ventings. They wanted to see me dramatically improve right now, and any criticisms I offered of other past experiences, they were beaten down and I was told to improve right now or else. The advice they granted was great, but I felt like it was harsh. When I continued to question others, I was accused of being “combative in the supportive channel. I felt like I was not being combative, and I was very open to peoples’ ideals. However, I did cause a lot of drama in the support channel, and rather than me becoming closer with the community, I felt like I was the villain. It felt like me versus the entire community, as usual. It felt like everyone hated me and they felt that I was this horrible villain spreading drama and evil in a peaceful area. I hated this villinization, and no one ever saw my point of view. Anyways, there wasn’t just drama in the support channel. Some jokes I made that were not breaking the rules were met with harsh criticism, because the staff didn’t like my way of humor. When we talked about politics, I vented about politics, and people told me to be complicit with their views. They wanted me to be a Democrat rather than being a die-hard leftist, like a Leninist or anarchist. I started a lot of political debates, and some people attacked me because of my views and my fiery speeches. It made me a bit upset, and eventually I stopped getting into political debates there. I would often make an error, and then rather than calm criticism of how I can approve, it was attack upon attack, and these attacks were breaking my happiness. My self-esteem was never increased. Things were not going well…
Basically, you know what happens next. I was banned. I continued to vent about the Old Hangout, as I was bullied, but then someone from the Old Hangout came in to stop me right there. I will keep their name anonymous and call them Yakuza. I respected Yakuza, and I was even afraid of them, but this did not help. I could tell Yakuza held a large grudge against me after the drama I caused in SmashBoards and the Old Hangout, and they found their perfect opportunity. I was venting about the Old Hangout once again, and then they rushed into the scene. They used a claim that I was in trouble for arguing about a video game character. Yes, it was a part of it, but they did not understand there was a huge staff bias problem in the Old Hangout. They also accused me of stalking a user via an alternate account on Twitter. I did have an alternate account, but I did not use this for spying! This was my personal venting account. I admit I interacted the wrong way with the user on Twitter, but I thought they would be friends with me, because they were friends with me in the Old Hangout. I did not spy on their every move, I just followed them on Twitter, because I thought they would be okay with that. They claimed that their account was “18+”, but they never had an indication on their account, and never told me until just now. I was not stalking them, I just wanted to follow them. Trust me, I am seventeen as of this post being created, and I never go into NSFW splaces. Yakzua claimed there was no evidence of me being bullied in the Old Hangout, but I could not get the evidence, and they never fully saw my story. They never knew about the times I was physically threatened in SmashBoards because of some silly drama I caused. They thought I was the evil villain, and I did some things wrong, but I hated this. This was a repeat of SmashBoards and the Old Hangout, and it was obnoxious. When I presented facts defending me, the members in the Colorful Umbrella did not buy it. I was immediately attacked by many of the users. I was ganged up upon, yelled at, and eventually, I was banned. I was accused of lying to everyone when I wasn’t, I was accused of being combative in the support channels when I was open as hell, and they claimed I needed a break from social media, and which hey, I did. Did it really warrant a permanent ban though? I just want to say that I immensely respect Yakuza, but I am a bit sad they did not see my point of view on the situation. Yakuza, if you are reading this, please do not get upset. You can disagree with me, but no attacks please. I know I did the same song and dance over and over, but I wish people in SmashBoards, the Old Hangout, and in the Colorful Umbrella were respectful and more calm. It was a sad conclusion, and it was just like SmashBoards, and the Old Hangout.
Was I in the wrong at times? Of course. I did cause way too much drama in the support thread, and I felt like I was quite annoying to people. I can say I did not improve as much as I wanted to, and I can see why people were frustrated with me. I also caused some users in there to block me, which is reasonable. It is tragic that I was banned from a seemingly nice server, but I had to move on to another server. I will just say that I was not the complete victim nor villain, but I wish the response from others was more soothing and respectful.
As I started to settle in the Colorful Umbrella, people started to become more connected to me. However, as people started to learn about me, they slowly saw my glaring flaws and became frustrated with me. Slowly I started to realize that this was going to be a repeat of SmashBoards and the Old Hangout. I vented a lot in the support channel, and I was met with harsh criticism on my ventings. They wanted to see me dramatically improve right now, and any criticisms I offered of other past experiences, they were beaten down and I was told to improve right now or else. The advice they granted was great, but I felt like it was harsh. When I continued to question others, I was accused of being “combative in the supportive channel. I felt like I was not being combative, and I was very open to peoples’ ideals. However, I did cause a lot of drama in the support channel, and rather than me becoming closer with the community, I felt like I was the villain. It felt like me versus the entire community, as usual. It felt like everyone hated me and they felt that I was this horrible villain spreading drama and evil in a peaceful area. I hated this villinization, and no one ever saw my point of view. Anyways, there wasn’t just drama in the support channel. Some jokes I made that were not breaking the rules were met with harsh criticism, because the staff didn’t like my way of humor. When we talked about politics, I vented about politics, and people told me to be complicit with their views. They wanted me to be a Democrat rather than being a die-hard leftist, like a Leninist or anarchist. I started a lot of political debates, and some people attacked me because of my views and my fiery speeches. It made me a bit upset, and eventually I stopped getting into political debates there. I would often make an error, and then rather than calm criticism of how I can approve, it was attack upon attack, and these attacks were breaking my happiness. My self-esteem was never increased. Things were not going well…
Basically, you know what happens next. I was banned. I continued to vent about the Old Hangout, as I was bullied, but then someone from the Old Hangout came in to stop me right there. I will keep their name anonymous and call them Yakuza. I respected Yakuza, and I was even afraid of them, but this did not help. I could tell Yakuza held a large grudge against me after the drama I caused in SmashBoards and the Old Hangout, and they found their perfect opportunity. I was venting about the Old Hangout once again, and then they rushed into the scene. They used a claim that I was in trouble for arguing about a video game character. Yes, it was a part of it, but they did not understand there was a huge staff bias problem in the Old Hangout. They also accused me of stalking a user via an alternate account on Twitter. I did have an alternate account, but I did not use this for spying! This was my personal venting account. I admit I interacted the wrong way with the user on Twitter, but I thought they would be friends with me, because they were friends with me in the Old Hangout. I did not spy on their every move, I just followed them on Twitter, because I thought they would be okay with that. They claimed that their account was “18+”, but they never had an indication on their account, and never told me until just now. I was not stalking them, I just wanted to follow them. Trust me, I am seventeen as of this post being created, and I never go into NSFW splaces. Yakzua claimed there was no evidence of me being bullied in the Old Hangout, but I could not get the evidence, and they never fully saw my story. They never knew about the times I was physically threatened in SmashBoards because of some silly drama I caused. They thought I was the evil villain, and I did some things wrong, but I hated this. This was a repeat of SmashBoards and the Old Hangout, and it was obnoxious. When I presented facts defending me, the members in the Colorful Umbrella did not buy it. I was immediately attacked by many of the users. I was ganged up upon, yelled at, and eventually, I was banned. I was accused of lying to everyone when I wasn’t, I was accused of being combative in the support channels when I was open as hell, and they claimed I needed a break from social media, and which hey, I did. Did it really warrant a permanent ban though? I just want to say that I immensely respect Yakuza, but I am a bit sad they did not see my point of view on the situation. Yakuza, if you are reading this, please do not get upset. You can disagree with me, but no attacks please. I know I did the same song and dance over and over, but I wish people in SmashBoards, the Old Hangout, and in the Colorful Umbrella were respectful and more calm. It was a sad conclusion, and it was just like SmashBoards, and the Old Hangout.
Was I in the wrong at times? Of course. I did cause way too much drama in the support thread, and I felt like I was quite annoying to people. I can say I did not improve as much as I wanted to, and I can see why people were frustrated with me. I also caused some users in there to block me, which is reasonable. It is tragic that I was banned from a seemingly nice server, but I had to move on to another server. I will just say that I was not the complete victim nor villain, but I wish the response from others was more soothing and respectful.
This part happened from my time in the Old Hangout to my time after my ban from the Colorful Umbrella, but now it is time for my experience on Twitter. I started to turn to Twitter after wanting to experiment more. It was quite unique from SmashBoards and the Discord servers, and there were a lot more people I could communicate to and follow. It was quite nice! I retweeted a lot of leftist and LGBTQ+ points. It helped me from my ideologies today. I talked with a lot of LGBTQ+ people, and a lot of different leftists, mainly left communists and anarchists. I started to share their ideals and opinions. I started to gain a lot of followers! It seemed things were going to go great, right? No… As usual, it did not.
Twitter had many issues. You had awful people posting there every day of their lives, and you had nasty people that would react to your posts on a daily basis. There was an enormous amount of infighting in the LGBTQ+ and leftist communities, and I got pulled into that, and it ****ing exhausted me. I also tried to dunk on right-wing assholes, and I caused a lot of drama as a result. The leftist and LGBTQ+ infighting really made me dread Twitter in the later stages. I was even blocked by over five hundred people on Twitter. I felt like I was quite hated on Twitter. I made a personal venting account to vent out my frustrations, but I felt like it was not working. Twitter was becoming stale, and I heard about these many cases of malicious acts. There was a ton of drama on Twitter, and it was not for me. For example, on the left people were threatening each other whenever they would vote for Joe Biden or not, because I remember being on Twitter when Bernie Sanders lost the nomination. The LGBTQ+ infighting was very painful, and it made me realize that it was a lot more divided than I thought. This division and drama was too much for me, and eventually, I deleted my account right after I was banned in the Colorful Umbrella. After being blocked by many of my former friends and people I heavily admired, and being **** on by leftists and right-wing idiots, I had enough of Twitter. I can confidently say I will never return to Twitter ever again.
Was I problematic on Twitter? Yes I was. I fell for the trap of the right-wing by arguing with them a lot rather than blocking. I did block thousands of people, but I still argued way too much. I also wish I did not dive in the LGBTQ+ and leftist infighting, and now I feel ashamed as to what I stand for. I admit I could have been a better person, and it is a shame I have failed to be peaceful, and it is a shame a lot of drama occurred.
Twitter had many issues. You had awful people posting there every day of their lives, and you had nasty people that would react to your posts on a daily basis. There was an enormous amount of infighting in the LGBTQ+ and leftist communities, and I got pulled into that, and it ****ing exhausted me. I also tried to dunk on right-wing assholes, and I caused a lot of drama as a result. The leftist and LGBTQ+ infighting really made me dread Twitter in the later stages. I was even blocked by over five hundred people on Twitter. I felt like I was quite hated on Twitter. I made a personal venting account to vent out my frustrations, but I felt like it was not working. Twitter was becoming stale, and I heard about these many cases of malicious acts. There was a ton of drama on Twitter, and it was not for me. For example, on the left people were threatening each other whenever they would vote for Joe Biden or not, because I remember being on Twitter when Bernie Sanders lost the nomination. The LGBTQ+ infighting was very painful, and it made me realize that it was a lot more divided than I thought. This division and drama was too much for me, and eventually, I deleted my account right after I was banned in the Colorful Umbrella. After being blocked by many of my former friends and people I heavily admired, and being **** on by leftists and right-wing idiots, I had enough of Twitter. I can confidently say I will never return to Twitter ever again.
Was I problematic on Twitter? Yes I was. I fell for the trap of the right-wing by arguing with them a lot rather than blocking. I did block thousands of people, but I still argued way too much. I also wish I did not dive in the LGBTQ+ and leftist infighting, and now I feel ashamed as to what I stand for. I admit I could have been a better person, and it is a shame I have failed to be peaceful, and it is a shame a lot of drama occurred.
After years of this ****ing life-draining and idiotic drama, I moved to somewhere else. I moved to a new Discord server. I will keep the name anonymous. I will name it the Beehive. The Beehive is a very huge server, and it had hundreds of thousands of members, unlike the previous server. This was when I got attached to a game that received a major update. However I slowly started to get familiar with the prominent members of the Discord server, and they started to understand me. What is great is unlike before, there is extremely little drama. I may get a few criticisms from here to there, but they are respectful and civil. They also tell strange jokes, and I related to that heavily. I even became friends with some of the staff. I even met a popular developer, and we had many fun interactions! It was going great!
Of course, there were flaws. There were some users that had ****ty opinions, and there were many right-wing ****heads and spammers, which is very annoying, but thankfully they will most likely be taken care of. The server I am in is a lot more young, and I am older than most of them. In SmashBoards, the Old Hangout, the Colorful Umbrella, and Twitter, I was quite young compared to my friends. Now I am a lot more responsible and older, and it was strange I was older than them. The flaws is that they tended to do some stupid things or make stupid posts, and it reminded me of myself in SmashBoards. Some people also claimed the Beehive was in decline due to the homogenization of the Beehive, considering the massive influx of users from an update. Despite these flaws, there was not as much painful drama. Will things go wrong in the future? Of course. Is the lack of drama relaxing? Absolutely!
I have also returned back to SmashBoards after a year of hopping around Discord and Twitter. I found myself missing the expression and peace of SmashBoards, thus I migrated back in. I was welcomed warmly, and I heavily appreciate that. I can only think of a few awkward instances, but everything is nice and peaceful. There are some old friends that are treating me quite warmly in SmashBoards, and I am happy as hell to be back. Thank you SmashBoards for making me feel welcome! I will always appreciate that! I hope excessive and brutal drama does not creep back in, and may peace continue in SmashBoards.
Of course, there were flaws. There were some users that had ****ty opinions, and there were many right-wing ****heads and spammers, which is very annoying, but thankfully they will most likely be taken care of. The server I am in is a lot more young, and I am older than most of them. In SmashBoards, the Old Hangout, the Colorful Umbrella, and Twitter, I was quite young compared to my friends. Now I am a lot more responsible and older, and it was strange I was older than them. The flaws is that they tended to do some stupid things or make stupid posts, and it reminded me of myself in SmashBoards. Some people also claimed the Beehive was in decline due to the homogenization of the Beehive, considering the massive influx of users from an update. Despite these flaws, there was not as much painful drama. Will things go wrong in the future? Of course. Is the lack of drama relaxing? Absolutely!
I have also returned back to SmashBoards after a year of hopping around Discord and Twitter. I found myself missing the expression and peace of SmashBoards, thus I migrated back in. I was welcomed warmly, and I heavily appreciate that. I can only think of a few awkward instances, but everything is nice and peaceful. There are some old friends that are treating me quite warmly in SmashBoards, and I am happy as hell to be back. Thank you SmashBoards for making me feel welcome! I will always appreciate that! I hope excessive and brutal drama does not creep back in, and may peace continue in SmashBoards.
This was my experience of years of social interaction. Have I committed many wrong actions in circumstances? Absolutely. I have caused many drama, some awkward moments that I still heavily regret to this day, and I deserved to be punished for them. I will say I am not the complete victim nor the complete villain. What I can learn is that improvement is something we should strive for more often. Unfortunately, I failed to improve. I made a ton of empty promises. This whole interaction of drama and my failure to improve as a human being has caused a heavy decrease in my self-esteem. I tend to say I hate myself frequently, and sometimes, I even wish for death to come upon me to end my existence. The year 2020 has been quite awful for me, and I am dreading the 2020 election, as both Trump and Biden are ****ing ****ty. COVID-19 has also been rough, as I know people who have been devastated by it. I hope everything goes better in the future. There have been many other interactions in social areas I have not mentioned, but those are very minor compared to these social interactions listed. Thinking before posting is more essential than we think, and we must be careful. I can say I am a failure, and do not be like me. It is impossible from me to move on from this drama. While I was bullied heavily, I will say that I have also done things wrong. Here is the final question. Was I a victim of bullying, or am I victimizing myself heavily? Please list your thoughts below! :3
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