Zero_Gamer
Smash Master
A lot of you might be wondering, “What sorts of adventures go on in the legendary Car of Greensboro?” Well, here is just one adventure that occurred not too long ago…
The day was February 7th, 2009, and there were quite a few bros having a fine time at Foxy’s Smashfest in Raleigh. As per Raleigh regulations, Foxy’s sister totally S’d some D and welcomed everyone to the lair of the Thundercats. We had a great time, although Snarf had to leave early to embark upon his journey for the knowledge of the Leave Your McDonald’s at Foxy’s Technique.
The Melee tourney was yet another work of sheer beauty. Of course, all good things must come to an end, so we started the Brawl+ tourney. Few bros had participated in the Brawl+ tourney so things came to an end quickly… oh wait… this is Brawl. Anyway, there were still some players who stood out from the bunch. Lord_Karn, the crowd favorite, was ******/consensual sexing people left and right with his Yoshi. His tournament experience, however, came to an undeserved end, at the knees of Rolly Spammy Lucario Guy, the master of the f.ag techniques. Foxy, the master of f.ag characters, had subsequently gayed Karn out of the Loser’s Finals with Meta Knight and progressed on to the final battle against Rolly Spammy Lucario Guy. You should have seen the battles. Rolly Spammy Lucario Guy rolled and spammed, Foxy did Meta Knight stuff. These battles were so intense that we couldn’t help but do the same thing over and over and over and over and over and over and over. The battle came to a quick and decisive end with Foxy on top, finishing in a mere 72 minutes. With the tourneys now over, GreensBoRO Love had to make a hasty departure.
And so, the real story begins:
Raleigh, North Carolina, is a zone filled with danger. It has fire-breathing mahogany trees that stand 300 feet tall, locomotive anti-bros, and Jungle Japes. Of course, none of these things were enough to faze the legendary Car of Greensboro, and we progressed smoothly onward to our hometown.
But little did we know:
Vilt, the pilot of the Legendary Space Car of Greensboro, was fighting a difficult battle of the wits with the River God of Jungle Japes, slowly diminishing his focus to the road. The fact that BEHR, being a professional wizard, summoned a stench spell (twice) wasn’t helping either. The River God was controlling Vilt, trying to make him miss the right exit off the highway, but Vilt was resisting the possession and tried to force his way to the exit, producing a sort of tug-of-war effect… with a huge metal railing coming our way! But BEHR’s amazing hawk eyes saw the railing before I or Onlymaskde could, and he shouting a warning to Vilt,
“WHAT DUH HAYL!?”
Suddenly, all of our attention was centered on the railing. Zero_Gamer was screaming at the top of his lungs going, “WHAT DUH HAYL?! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!?” Onlymaskde dropped his Pokemanz and hid behind BEHR’s Biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig Diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick for safety, and Vilt was saying something about Samus while slamming the breaks, as BEHR’s words of wisdom allowed him to regain control of his consciousness.
There we lay:
On the side of the highway, after narrowly avoiding death at the hands of the River God, but, since we are from Greensboro, we got over the near-death experience rather quickly and we continued onward to Greensboro, talking about how awesome and manly we were when we cheated death.
But this was not the end:
The River God, feeling sorry for invading Vilt’s mind, offered him some sound advice: To stop at the next gas station we see. It was there that we saw some chick with a giant booty that was just asking to be smacked (BEHR and Mask both shouted in unison, “Holy Sh**********************t!” at the sight). We were all thankful for the River God’s advice and accepted his apology.
and we made our separate ways.
The End.
The day was February 7th, 2009, and there were quite a few bros having a fine time at Foxy’s Smashfest in Raleigh. As per Raleigh regulations, Foxy’s sister totally S’d some D and welcomed everyone to the lair of the Thundercats. We had a great time, although Snarf had to leave early to embark upon his journey for the knowledge of the Leave Your McDonald’s at Foxy’s Technique.
The Melee tourney was yet another work of sheer beauty. Of course, all good things must come to an end, so we started the Brawl+ tourney. Few bros had participated in the Brawl+ tourney so things came to an end quickly… oh wait… this is Brawl. Anyway, there were still some players who stood out from the bunch. Lord_Karn, the crowd favorite, was ******/consensual sexing people left and right with his Yoshi. His tournament experience, however, came to an undeserved end, at the knees of Rolly Spammy Lucario Guy, the master of the f.ag techniques. Foxy, the master of f.ag characters, had subsequently gayed Karn out of the Loser’s Finals with Meta Knight and progressed on to the final battle against Rolly Spammy Lucario Guy. You should have seen the battles. Rolly Spammy Lucario Guy rolled and spammed, Foxy did Meta Knight stuff. These battles were so intense that we couldn’t help but do the same thing over and over and over and over and over and over and over. The battle came to a quick and decisive end with Foxy on top, finishing in a mere 72 minutes. With the tourneys now over, GreensBoRO Love had to make a hasty departure.
And so, the real story begins:
Raleigh, North Carolina, is a zone filled with danger. It has fire-breathing mahogany trees that stand 300 feet tall, locomotive anti-bros, and Jungle Japes. Of course, none of these things were enough to faze the legendary Car of Greensboro, and we progressed smoothly onward to our hometown.
But little did we know:
Vilt, the pilot of the Legendary Space Car of Greensboro, was fighting a difficult battle of the wits with the River God of Jungle Japes, slowly diminishing his focus to the road. The fact that BEHR, being a professional wizard, summoned a stench spell (twice) wasn’t helping either. The River God was controlling Vilt, trying to make him miss the right exit off the highway, but Vilt was resisting the possession and tried to force his way to the exit, producing a sort of tug-of-war effect… with a huge metal railing coming our way! But BEHR’s amazing hawk eyes saw the railing before I or Onlymaskde could, and he shouting a warning to Vilt,
“WHAT DUH HAYL!?”
Suddenly, all of our attention was centered on the railing. Zero_Gamer was screaming at the top of his lungs going, “WHAT DUH HAYL?! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!?” Onlymaskde dropped his Pokemanz and hid behind BEHR’s Biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig Diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick for safety, and Vilt was saying something about Samus while slamming the breaks, as BEHR’s words of wisdom allowed him to regain control of his consciousness.
There we lay:
On the side of the highway, after narrowly avoiding death at the hands of the River God, but, since we are from Greensboro, we got over the near-death experience rather quickly and we continued onward to Greensboro, talking about how awesome and manly we were when we cheated death.
But this was not the end:
The River God, feeling sorry for invading Vilt’s mind, offered him some sound advice: To stop at the next gas station we see. It was there that we saw some chick with a giant booty that was just asking to be smacked (BEHR and Mask both shouted in unison, “Holy Sh**********************t!” at the sight). We were all thankful for the River God’s advice and accepted his apology.
and we made our separate ways.
The End.
