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You Laugh You Lose: Gentlemen's Club Edition

NinjaFoxX

NinjaFoxX

Banned via Warnings
Joined
Nov 16, 2005
Messages
6,035
Location
Small hole, looks nice though~


Dear Make-A-Wish Foundation:
My name is Billy Cavender, and I am fifteen-years-old. Earlier this year I was diagnosed with Acute lymphocytic leukaemia, a cancer of the white blood cells. My disease has progressed swiftly, and has already affected my bloodstream and many of my vital organs. I have been told that my condition is terminal.
My parents are in complete shock over the news of my impending death and they spend a lot of time crying and hugging me. It seems a cruel fate to have my life taken away from me at such an early age. But I accept God's decision, and I am doing my best to cherish every living day that I have left on this Earth.

When I heard about your organization, I was excited! I have read so much about how you helped grant other young people their one true wish, the one achievable goal they could obtain before passing away from a life-draining condition. I thought perhaps you could take the time to consider my simple request, so that when I die, I will have left this Earth fulfilled, having lived each day to its fullest.
I only hope that you will read my letter and be able to help me with my small wish, the one and only thing I would wish for before the cancer robs me of my precious existence.
You see good people of the Foundation, all my life, I have dreamed of the opportunity of participating in a threesome. Yes, Make-A-Wish Foundation, before I die, I wish to have sex with two women at the same time.
Now, since I am only a fifteen-year-old with terminal cancer, I have not had a chance to live the way most teenagers do. With my deteriorating condition, I've never kissed a girl, and therefore I haven't had the chance to have sex with one woman, let alone two!
All of my guy friends have tried and tried and tried without success to get a second woman to engage in a sexual act where there is already one woman involved. This wish that you would grant me would make the envy of my peers, where before all I got was their pity. And I will die happy, knowing that I was able to participate in a sexual act with multiple partners, in this case two (at the very same time).
I don't see where this would be a problem to you and your atruistic people, knowing what amazing resources you have at your disposal. I read about the young girl with leukemia who got to skydive for the very first time, and I read about the burn victim boy who got to play ice hockey with his idol, Wayne Gretzky. I even read about the visually-impaired girl who got to go to Disneyworld.
Now if you can send a blind kid to Florida, my request for group sex shouldn't be that hard to fulfill. The girls in my threesome don't even have to be pretty, although that would be a plus. It wouldn't even need to cost your organization any money--you could probably get a couple of the volunteers to jump into bed with me, as long as it was two and not only one. I'm sure there are some adventurous foundation staff members that would jump at the chance to serve and service a young man desiring to be intimate with a couple of girls at once.
What about about other Make-a-wishers? There must be other needy people out there who could help, while fulfilling their own wishes. Maybe there are a couple of twin sisters in Dubuque, Iowa with brain tumours, whose only wish was to make it with a teenage cancer victim. You could check your database.
**** it Make-A-Wish, I'm a horny teen who only wants to get ****ed by two chicks at the same time! How hard can that be? Just send me the money, and I'll hire a couple of sympathetic hookers to do it. You can tell the foundation executives you spent the money on a Sony Playstation II! Yah, that's it. My only wish is for my very own console gaming system!
I'm sorry, the chemotherapy leaves me weakened and emotional, so I tend to lash out. Please forgive my outbursts--the sickened cries of a sexually-inexperienced young man on his last leg of life.
So please, Make-A-Wish, I hope you consider my request, the request of a dying teen who has never felt the intimate touch of two women simultaneously.
-Bobby Cavender



"Sex is like Oxygen, it's only a big deal if you aren't getting any."
snip

















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Ocean

Ocean

Smash Master
Joined
Nov 19, 2007
Messages
3,810
Slippi.gg
OCEAN#0
MarsFool! said:
This thread sucks

Its just 4chan **** from 100 years ago.
Click to expand...
oh look someone who thinks they are cool because they visit 4chan. I'm glad that you are superior to everyone because you have seen more stuff on the internet than we have, congratulations. I bet your parents are proud.

on a more serious note;







 
BunBun

BunBun

Smash Master
Joined
Jan 12, 2008
Messages
4,772
Location
50 Terranite? Really?
mc-killa said:
Click to expand...
Haha, I remember middle school.

My laptop had something like this, except unnecessarily hidden deep within my sys folder in WinME.

And hidden.

And the icon was replaced.




To be fair, our school had a laptop program where we used our own laptops, but they could be randomly checked.
And they were.
A lot.
 
@TKbreezy

@TKbreezy

Follow me on Twitter!
Joined
Aug 7, 2008
Messages
4,982
Location
Nottingham, MD
NNID
TKbreezy
Yee My first Submission



I don't expect anyone to lose on this more so just a couple of smiles...ill be moving up the tier list soon tho
 
BunBun

BunBun

Smash Master
Joined
Jan 12, 2008
Messages
4,772
Location
50 Terranite? Really?
WEZL said:
Click to expand...
We all know that the attack wouldn't hit.



Sand Attack Sand Attack Sand Attack Sand Attack Sand Attack Sand Attack Sand Attack Sand Attack Sand Attack Sand Attack Sand Attack Sand Attack Sand Attack Sand Attack Sand Attack Sand Attack Sand Attack Sand Attack Sand Attack Sand Attack Sand Attack Sand Attack Sand Attack Sand Attack Sand Attack Sand Attack Sand Attack Sand Attack Sand Attack Sand Attack Sand Attack Sand Attack Sand Attack Sand Attack Sand Attack Sand Attack Sand Attack Sand Attack Sand Attack Sand Attack Sand Attack Sand Attack Sand Attack Sand Attack Sand Attack Sand Attack Sand Attack Sand Attack Sand Attack Sand Attack Sand Attack Sand Attack Sand Attack Sand Attack Sand Attack Sand Attack Sand Attack Sand Attack Sand Attack Sand Attack Sand Attack Sand Attack Sand Attack
 
X the Derp

X the Derp

Smash Apprentice
Joined
Jul 23, 2008
Messages
90
Location
MIA
Maybe if an electric pokemon was out before and paralyzed Gyrados with Thunder because somehow the Gyrados lived through it because he is ****ing broken and killed the electric type pokemon with earthquake (Hmm)
 
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