All together now!
I'd wonder how I got so thin and gorgeous, check myself out in the mirror, then go lightning-kick Mary-Sues and set stuff I hate on fire, then rush to Nintendo to demand my own d*mn game. Then I'll transform and go around flashing annoying yaoi fangirls to prove a point before changing back so the fuzz doesn't catch me.
After that? I'd make out with Link.
OR
After getting over the horrifying gender change, I'd blow up Krystal and prevent Fox from doing things, fly to the airport and show off my sweet ride, then spend the evening howling up a storm with the neighborhood dogs and keeping all the conservative old people awake.
OR
I wouldn't be bothered by the gender change because Pit is a pantywaist anyway. I'd fly everywhere and save my family a lot on gas, alighting at the top of a tree where, for S's and G's, I'd snipe squirrels with my light-bending arrows.
OR
I'd waste 30 minutes unsuccessfully trying to investigate how my body manages to support my head. After I surrender to the strange whims of gravity, I'll try out all my crazy equipment before going to Pennsylvania to check on my grandmother...aboard a talking boat with whom I have very bizarre conversations.
OR
I'd talk to myself all day just to hear my smexy voice, warp from place to place, maybe beat up some posers who woke up as Captain Falcon. If I'm feeling mischievous I'll claim that I'm the buttchild of Batman and Zorro and start a big ol' sex scandal.
OR
Breathing a sigh of relief at getting to keep my gender, I'd keep away from bodies of water (not easy in Norfolk) lest I accidentally electrocute a flock of ducks. Oh yes, and eat apples. Apples are always good.
OR
I'd FIRE MAH LAZORZ at all those naysayers who say I shouldn't have been in Brawl, then go to my best friend's house where she compliments me on my new asexual look.
OR
Every time I have to take a dump I'll lay an egg. Thus, by the time I go back to bed I'll have one to three kids. Yikes.
