so like 4 years ago I was living in the cold desolate wasteland known as Calgary and working for a moving company and I haven't got paid in awhile but my company tells me they have a check for and there office is on the other side of Calgary in the industrial section of Ogden, and I don't have a car or very much money so I usually walk to a c-train station which are technically 2.25 for a ticket but if you watch for c-train officers who check for tickets you can get off when they get on and you don't have to pay. so I take a c-train to some stop and walk like 5km to this office pick up a check and then walk back, which took me a few hours, so I'm pretty tired at this point and when I get to the c-train station and super relieved when a c-train pulls up I get on and lay back on a seat pretty pleased with myself and my new paycheck throw on my headphones and listen to some music, (this is in January by the way) ready to go buy some food and herb and relax.
now keep in mind I haven't bought a ticket on the c-train coming back either and I hadn't really been paying attention watching for officers, so at some c-train s top near the saddle dome these c-train officers get on and usually they look like old fat security guards, but this one looked early 20's bald head wiry physique sort of looked like he was fresh out of the military, and asks me for my ticket, and immediately my heart starts pounding cause I really can't afford to pay for a 150 dollar ticket but one of my friends friends had told me that the c-train officers don't have any jurisdiction off of the c-train platform and if you can outrun them and get off of the platform they can't chase you, so believing this to be true I say to the officer ah hold on I have to look for it, and I'm wearing a big dirty parka with lots of pockets and start fishing papers and receipts out of my pockets pretending to look for it, and the officer says ok hold on I'll come back to you and then proceeds to check other peoples tickets, so as the train is just about to leave again, I walk over to the door all confident look at this fat lady who is sitting next to the door wink and smile at her and press the button to open the door, the bald headed officer looks back at me and shouts HEY STOP and I take off out the door onto the crowded platform. now I consider myself to be fairly athletic and a pretty fast runner so I'm confident I can outrun this dude, so I just start sprinting up these stairs into the main station but when I'm running up the stairs my headphones are pulled from the inertia of me sprinting up the stairs off my neck and start dragging behind me going up the stairs and they are big headphones not ear buds, but they're pretty old duct taped up headphones and im not really too worried about losing them if it means getting away without a huge fine, so I just think that they will eventually be ripped completely out from my discman, but this isn't what happens, as I get to the top of the platform and sprint across to go down the opposite staircase the headphones are still being pulled behind me and then when I hit the declining staircase and my momentum is halted they are snapped from dragging behind me forward , swing around my feet consecutively tying them together, so my feet are basically tied together with my head phones, meanwhile this officer is constantly yelling STOP RIGHT THERE, STOP RIGHT NOW sprinting behind me. so when I get to the bottom of the staircase which leads onto the opposite platform I make a split second decision to run in front of the slowly starting to move ctrain and jump the chain link fence on the other side thinking that the officer wouldn't follow me. and I can barely move my feet at this point more than a foot and a half apart because of my headphones which are wrapped around them.
so I jump down onto the tracks hobble across them jump onto the fence and do this crazy ninja flip over it just basically hurling the bottom half of my body over the top half and letting momentum do the rest, and then start sprinting across an open field on the other side, and to my horror the officer follows me in the exact same way jumping across the tracks and flipping over the fence and then starts to chase me across this field, now I'm not really sure where I am going at this point I was in this semi industrial section with hardly any buildings or places to hide were just running across this open field and I can barely move my feet cause of the headphones so I'm starting to think about what I'm gonna say to this guy when he catches me just basically losing all hope, and then all of a sudden the wires between my headphones snap due to the strain of me pulling them apart and I can run at full speed again, but by this time the dude is like ten feet behind me screaming for me to stop, so I just start motoring thinking that I'm not stopping so this is basically just a cross country race now, and I kid you not we run like this with him behind me yelling at me to stop and me just ignoring him running as fast as I can for at least 3-5 minutes, across this deserted industrial section, and then finally I get to some buildings and streets and he all of a sudden gives up and pulls out his radio, and all I hear is "Suspect is traveling into 4th and 4th wearing a brown jacket, All Available units respond" and right as I hear this I'm think "all available units"?? that must mean all available c-train officers. and so I run into this parking lot and there is nowhere to go there is a large fence at the end of it and across that a huge open gap with some train tracks which I would be easily spotted crossing, and this c-train officer had seen me run into this general area but I couldn't see him anymore so I walk through this parking lot looking for a spot to hide and just end up crawling underneath a car near the end of the parking lot with the fence, just ready to wait this dude out. This parking lot is right on the outskirts of "the downtown" of Calgary right where the ctrain goes through and where all the tall buildings and whatnot are so I'm pretty close to the main city and right as I crawl under this car I hear the whole city of Calgary light up with sirens, but don't really think too much of it, I mean, I didn't pay 2.225 for a ticket right? but I hear these sirens getting closer and closer to where I am and I remember what that dude said on the Radio "All Available units respond" and I realize that he didn't really specify the crime I committed he just called me a suspect or something so all these dudes know is that I'm resisting arrest, and sure enough in my hiding spot looking under I can see 4th and 4th and all of a sudden 6 squad cars 4 police SUV's and 3 Police vans all rip by and start patrolling the surrounding area, the vans enter the parking lot I'm in and start circling it(it was a pretty big parking lot and I see people getting out of the squad cars going into the building the parking lot was for looked like a TV station or radio station, but they circled that parking lot would leave circle the block and then comeback and circle the parking lot again, and every time they pull by the car I'm under I grab the bumper and press my legs against the underbelly and pull myself up so that they couldn't see me if they looked under and they just kept circling and circling the parking lot. which was about 200m long maybe 50 m wide, and they did this for hours. now keep in mind this is January and there is snow on the ground so I'm lying in snow for hours and its starting to get dark, they eventually stop patrolling the area and I just keep waiting not wanting to stand up just to come face to face with a squad car, but after about 6 hours and ready to wait longer the dude whose car I'm laying under I guess has gotten off from work gets into the car starts it up and pulls out with me underneath the back end, which was kind of scary in itself but anyways he doesn't notice me and I'm left lying in the snow in an empty parking spot, so I stand up slowly look over the hood of a nearby car see, no squad cars and slowly make me way out of the parking lot, I take my parka off and turn it inside out so that it is a different color, and then walk into a nearby alleyway not sure where to go, and I see this hooker with long leather hooker boots on and so I yell quietly hey come over here, and so she walks over land looks at me, and I ask her where the nearest place to eat is and she laughs and says yea there's an italian place just down the street a block, is that all you want to ask me, im like "yea thanks" she laughs again like what I just asked her was the craziest thing she's ever heard. and I sneak away in the direction she pointed me in, and on the way there I see a sqaudcar parked on the side of the street and I'm as you can appreciate super paranoid of cop cars at this point so I try to act calm and just walk into this italian restaurant and this was around 5:30 I guess and the didn't officially open till 6 but they were getting everything ready in the kitchen and had all the tables setup so they said they would serve me, the whole left body part of my body is soaked and freezing I look down at my ankles and there is the headphone wire still wrapped tightly around my left ankle. so I sit down at this restaurant they turn on some music for get me appetizers I order an enormous fettuccine Alfredo with a Caesar salad and few glasses of wine, needless to say it was delicious in more ways than one.
after my meal around 6:20 I pay and leave and then take a massively out of my way route to get back to where I live in kensington which bypasses the city entirely crossing a river and takes me many hours on foot, through parks and under bridges, I meet a guy in a park with a giant knife who says he's looking to cut up some ******s, basically this walk home was an adventure in itself but when finally arrive home I walk into my place shout something nonsensical to my roomate jump onto my bed and have the biggest grin on my face for the next hour while i tell this story to my roomate.
but yea it was pretty epic when it happened at the time.
