Guide Zelda Social: But also the FE Heroes Internet Cafe

[IsmaR]

I thought it was very well punctuated.

 

[KuroganeHammer]

Man we are entering an age of unappreciated writing.

I've seen it before.

And my writing is just as good

sometimes.

 

[BJN39]

It was like... Really thorough, and stuff.

But Illbeonest I couldn't bring myself to read the entire thing.

This is like

A whole NEW level

Of negativity towards Zelda lmao.

 

[Alphatron]

@ Alacion , did you use the complaint generator?

 

[ZombieBran]

Aleate used the complaint generator, yes.

(who would even write that manually?)

 

[KuroganeHammer]

just had a zss fall out of my fsmash about 7 times in a single match........................

 

[Fuoujin 2]

Even MUs

Must...resist....urg.....to...drag.

 

[Meru.]

Seriously though what favorable match-ups does Zelda have? I can hardly think of one.

 

[Erotic&Heretic]

just had a zss fall out of my fsmash about 7 times in a single match........................

I do think that ZSS is the character that fall out of Fsmash the most.

 

[JigglyZelda003]

that post though...i TLDR and then went back to read it and now idk anymore lol

I do think that ZSS is the character that fall out of Fsmash the most.

who has time to Fsmash zamus? Everytime I'm fighting those hoes they are either downBing shooting or doing dash attack. She's never in place to be Fsmashed :v

 

[Rizen]

Anyone want to wifi? I need to learn the Zelda MU without custom moves; I haven't unlocked many.
Edit, nevermind

 

[Rickster]

Treacherous. Ridiculous. Mendacious. In case you can't tell, I'm making a direct reference to Princess Zelda. The key point of the following exposition is that Zelda's deeds will have consequences—very serious consequences. We ought to begin doing something about that. We ought to make an impartial and well-informed evaluation of the advantages and disadvantages of Zelda's plaints. We ought to spread the word that she wants to cast a chill over free speech and inquiry and the spirit of democracy. Why she wants that, I don't know, but that's what she wants.

Zelda thinks that a richly evocative description of a problem automatically implies the correct solution to that problem. However, she has created for herself premier victim status. Zelda uses this status to shield herself from scrutiny whenever she's caught achieving total world domination. Zelda's victim status also means that Zelda's enemies have to be cautious when suggesting that she is indeed up to something. I don't know exactly what, but Zelda has been digging a grave in which to bury liberty and freedom. It's time to even the score. I suggest that we begin by notifying people of the fact that Zelda believes that the moon is made of green cheese. Unfortunately, as long as she believes such absurdities, she will continue to commit atrocities.

Have you ever had a bad dream about Zelda trying to change children's values from those taught in the home to those considered chic by insidious lumpenproletariats? Well, I have news for you. That wasn't a dream; it was real.

Have you ever sat and listened to Zelda talk about how we have too much freedom? If so, you should be congratulated for successfully enduring the brainless nonsense dribbling from her mouth. I would much rather hear someone talk about how there's only one true drama queen around here, and Zelda is the one wearing the crown. I won't pull any punches here: She should stop bombarding us with her politically incorrect glaikery. In this context, the opposite of political incorrectness is not political correctness but rather an objective quest for knowledge. As we all know, most horny humanity-haters lack any knowledge about how Zelda's calumnies are a zero-sum game. That is, what helps Zelda and her brotherhood of bitter fanatics inevitably harms us. What benefits us must hurt them. The logical conclusion to draw is that Zelda keeps saying that she has the mandate of Heaven to eviscerate every bit of social progress of the past century. I suggest taking such statements with a grain of salt because she presents herself as a disinterested classicist lamenting the infusion of politically motivated methods of pedagogy and analysis into higher education. Zelda is eloquent in her denunciation of modern scholarship, claiming it favors stubborn exhibitionists. And here we have the ultimate irony because there is every indication that my task—our task—is to raise Zelda's associates from the dark depths of prejudice and tribalism to the majestic heights of understanding and brotherhood. That should serve as the final, ultimate, irrefutable proof that many people who follow her lectures have come to the erroneous conclusion that she serves as wisdom to the mighty and succor to the brave. The stark truth of the matter is that I once overheard Zelda say something quite astonishing. Are you strapped in? Zelda said that all any child needs is a big dose of television every day. Can you believe that? At least her statement made me realize that her victims have been speaking out for years. Unfortunately, their voices have long been silenced by the roar and thunder of Zelda's plenipotentiaries, who loudly proclaim that we have no reason to be fearful about the criminally violent trends in our society today and over the past ten to fifteen years. Regardless of those hopeless proclamations, the truth is that she doesn't want us to deliver new information about her moonstruck personal attacks. She wants us to behave like sheep, not showing any inclination to saunter off in a direction other than that in which the shepherdess (Zelda) wants us to go. Zelda intends to keep us sheep blissfully ignorant of the fact that I really dislike her. Likes or dislikes, however, are irrelevant to observed facts, such as that Zelda's opuscula were never about tolerance and equality. That was just window dressing for the “innocents”. Rather, after hearing about Zelda's neurotic attempts to use paid informants and provocateurs to rule with an iron fist, I was saddened. I was saddened that she has lowered herself to this level.

I appreciate feedback and other people's views on subjects. I don't, however, appreciate feedback when it's given in an unprofessional manner. Exclusionism is in Zelda's DNA. Zelda and her overbearing, fastuous pickthanks must cachinnate about this in private, knowing that Zelda is the type of person that turns up her nose at people like you and me. I guess that's because we haven't the faintest notion about the things that really matter such as why it would be good for her to confuse the catastrophic power of state fascism with the repression of an authoritarian government in our minds.

Every concert that Zelda attends rapidly degenerates into a free-for-all of slam dancing and scattered fistfights. I'll stand by that controversial statement and even assume that most readers who bring their own real-life experience will agree with it. At a bare minimum, there is no excuse for the innumerable errors of fact, the slovenly and philistine artistic judgments, the historical ineptitude, the internal contradictions, and the various half-truths, untruths, and gussied-up truths that litter every one of Zelda's essays from the first word to the last.

I myself love hearing the claims of a nutty spiv who doesn't realize that she's a nutty spiv. As a case in point, consider Zelda's claim that cynicism is the catholicon for all the world's ills. Such claims always make me laugh because, as we all know, a former member of Zelda's den of thieves has called Zelda an illogical weasel. I admire this person's courage, but I disagree with his use of the term “illogical weasel”. It's not solely because Zelda is an illogical weasel that she has been defusing or undermining incisive critiques of her stuporous behavior by turning them into procedural arguments about mechanisms of institutional restraint. Rather, she's been doing this because she likes to replace the search for truth with a situationist relativism based on carnaptious faddism. Such activity can flourish only in the dark, however. If you drag it into the open, Zelda and her comrades will run for cover like cockroaches in a dirty kitchen when the light is turned on suddenly during the night. That's why we must ensure that the values for which we have labored and for which many of us have fought and sacrificed will continue in ascendancy.

Zelda fails to see anything wrong with seizing control over where we eat, sleep, socialize, and associate with others. This bespeaks an investment of complex psychic import. That's why it helps to remember that Zelda avers that she opposes rebarbative insurrectionists who intensify or perpetuate totalitarianism. That's nothing more than ear candy. It's designed to gently stroke listeners, to get them to purr like kittens. The reality is that the problem with Zelda is not that she's uncompromising. It's that she wants to squander irreplaceable national treasures. Strange, isn't it, how the most illiberal palterers you'll ever see are always the first to trample over the very freedoms and rights that Zelda claims to support?

The point is that if everyone spent just five minutes a day thinking about ways to commit to practices that build community and eliminate behaviors that work against what we are dedicated to building, we'd all be a lot better off. Is five minutes a day too much to ask for the promise of a better tomorrow? I hope not, but then again, Zelda's witless ****-and-bull stories exploit the feelings of charity and guilt that many people have over the plight of the homeless. News of this deviousness must spread like wildfire if we are ever to cast an unfamiliar ray of sunshine over the ungrateful landscape of her biases. Zelda is not just featherbrained but proud of it. I won't dwell on that except to direct your attention to the misinformed manner in which she has been trying to develop mind-control technology. What can I do to prove to you that her beliefs (as I would certainly not call them logically reasoned arguments) do not pass muster by any objective standards? Show you evidence that Zelda is the most malign, snappish undesirable in the annals of Man? While that would undeniably help, she intends to create a new social class. Lackadaisical, fractious psychopaths, headlong, footling segregationists, and cullionly, disloyal madwomen will be given aristocratic status. The rest of us will be forced into serving as their servitors.

Zelda says that she needs a little more time to clean up her act. As far as I'm concerned, Zelda's time has run out. Here's a thought experiment for those of you who still think that there won't be any blowback from her treating anyone who doesn't agree with her to a torrent of vitriol and vilification: Imagine that a supernatural being came to you and, by way of a meandering Platonic dialogue, tried to convince you that might makes right. You'd astonishedly blurt out, “But Zelda provides simplistic answers to complex problems.” And that's the key point: We have much to fear from her. Personally, I'm afraid that sooner than you think, she'll impale us on a Morton's Fork: Either we let her foster debauchery, or she'll unleash an unparalleled wave of academicism. Regardless of which we choose, Zelda's self-aggrandizing campaigns of malice and malignity have created a class of dependent supplicants and special interests. Sadly, providing for their needs and wants is leading us towards economic sclerosis. All we can do now is wage war on escapism. Does anybody else feel the way I do, or am I alone in my disgust with Princess Zelda?

I actually read all if it...0_0
I might make use of that generator someday...

For some reason I keep relating all of that (mostly the first paragraph) to how good she was in P:M before the nerf.

 

[Mocha]

The only problem with Smooth Landing Equipments is that they give characters random values.
All are defensive (+defense, -speed), but in the end, the value is still random.

Hm, and there is no way to get rid of the random values? That's a shame though :/

 

[evmaxy54]

So... Our Perfect Pivot distance thingy ain't bad like:

Taken from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6vaR4RM-qr0

 

[Mocha]

wth Captain Falcon

 

[BJN39]

So... Our Perfect Pivot distance thingy ain't bad like:
View attachment 33090

Taken from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6vaR4RM-qr0

Look at that, some stat or universal technique that isn't entirely useless for Zelda

*Looks at Dash Dancing and Wavedashing*

 

[Alphatron]

Seriously though what favorable match-ups does Zelda have? I can hardly think of one.

Zelda has no favorable matchups. Just matchups that are slightly less bad than others.

Seriously though, I think she's alright against Bowser and Dedede. Their size makes them more susceptible to get hit by stuff that doesn't work on other characters. Even at low percentages, uthrow or dthrow into anything isn't guaranteed against some of the lightweights because they can jump or airdodge before you nair (forcing you to predict this and go with something else). They have predictable recoveries too, so you can more or less have a field day with them when they're off stage and beneath you.

I also want to say kirby because his range is awful in this game and final cutter still sucks. But you when you're too tall to hit him with most of your normals...

 

[BJN39]

For MUs, I kind of agree I can't think of any particular favorable MUs (THOUGH who knows, one may exist, we just haven't found it.) But I feel it's not like she has a bunch of really really bad MUs like Brawl, like, most of her worsT MUs in this game seem to run on around 40:60 with maybe a couple worse exceptions... *coughcoughLittleMaccoughcough*

 

[Mocha]

So... Our Perfect Pivot distance thingy ain't bad like:
View attachment 33090

Taken from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6vaR4RM-qr0

There was a video that went along with that to demonstrate examples of perfect pivoting:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6vaR4RM-qr0

Can Zelda make any use of this, I wonder?

Edit: Ninja'd

 

[Alacion]

I still think ROB isn't a bad Mu even though it's not positive for Zelda.

ZSS's up b is sooooo good.

 

[ZombieBran]

just had a zss fall out of my fsmash about 7 times in a single match........................

Yep.

ZSS must be rockin some anti palm sparkle tech.

 

[Alacion]

My favourite use for wavedashing was to follow up with a dash attack. Zelda never really had a use for it aside from janky stuff like wavedash off a platform to a kick, which is 10x harder to pull off without Melee's kicks.

Wavedashing is good for spacing but I still don't think I'll be using it until I see a lot of others pick this pivoting up.

 

[SBphiloz4]

Interesting. Pivot dash and Fsmash time? :>

I don't think Zelda has a matchup that's extremely favourable to her side. Only MUs I can think of are Ganondorf, DK, Duck Hunt, and maybe Dedede, but they are 55:45 AT THE VERY BEST. Most MUs ride at around 45:55 or 40:60, which is somewhat okay. A few are a bit lower, especially those super fast opponents--

And unrelated but Rockman infinite. Maybe it works on Zelda? :3

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V3xHtDo6ohA

 

[BJN39]

And unrelated but Rockman infinite. Maybe it works on Zelda? :3

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V3xHtDo6ohA

It definitely does...

 

[JigglyZelda003]

so ballerina spins return as an AT? This just makes Zelda worse lol.

also on even MUs I think Wii fit is even, as is jiggly

 

[Marie Antoinette]

Been lurking the social threads of different characters, this one tops them all. I think I will hang here for a while~

 

[ZombieBran]

We got another person.
Quick, shut the door!

 

[BJN39]

Quick, shut the door!

 

[Xys]

Tier wise this social is op. Ironyyyyyyy

 

[Mocha]

Interesting. Pivot dash and Fsmash time? :>

I don't think Zelda has a matchup that's extremely favourable to her side. Only MUs I can think of are Ganondorf, DK, Duck Hunt, and maybe Dedede, but they are 55:45 AT THE VERY BEST. Most MUs ride at around 45:55 or 40:60, which is somewhat okay. A few are a bit lower, especially those super fast opponents--

And unrelated but Rockman infinite. Maybe it works on Zelda? :3

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V3xHtDo6ohA

So if Mega Man can do this to us, should we just... run away?

 

[Xys]

So if Mega Man can do this to us, should we just... run away?

Use dins to "space yourself"

 

[ぱみゅ]

Almost sounds like you will be the one zoned out with it

 

[Citrussed]

So have people found a use for down special? I find myself hardly using it, but I think it's just bad habits. What kind of times should I be looking to use it?

 

[ZombieBran]

So have people found a use for down special? I find myself hardly using it, but I think it's just bad habits. What kind of times should I be looking to use it?

It's an okay way to stifle edge guarding attempts. It's also a way to clear the edge of the stage while you're recovering.
It's not a useless edgeguarding tool either!
Some people use it as a mid range pressure tool and if spaced well it can do that somewhat.

If these don't sound like glowing compliments for Phantom, it's because they're not lol

 

[Mocha]

Aside from edgeguarding, Phantom can halt a couple of attacks if you predict someone will rush into you with. It's in no way a reliable option or safe, but with a careful read, and knowledge of what Phantom does and doesn't stop, you can use this to keep your space now and then.

 

[SBphiloz4]

Possible, but extremely situational footstool usage to Zelda's game?

 

[BJN39]

^ It could be useable... IT'S SOMETHING. Just mix up all of her ultra gimmicky FW options and your bound to catch someone sometime. \(e . e)/

 

[Mocha]

Possible, but extremely situational footstool usage to Zelda's game?

Wait, did you teleport straight down, or slightly to the side? Cause teleporting straight down is kinda funky this time around. But I do like the idea of foostooling to FW lol

 

[Rickster]

This looks semi useful. At this point, I think a huge part of Zelda's meta will revolve around Farore's.

Just think of the possibilities if we (somehow) mastered the ledge cancel from...anywhere on the stage. Like how that Zelda just barely went over the ledge. That's a potential cancel spot, along with the usual middle of the stage, and that one spot diagonal from the ledge. I bet there's even more spots. And with the faster startup and KO reappear, it could be very dangerous.

Although it will be risky, like all her other moves. But it could give us some real mobility and surprise KO options.

Real=better

 

[SBphiloz4]

Since footstool is untechable, this could actually work in a few places. But again, situational.

That was a FW straight down, but it went wonky at the end, and I SD'd lol.
We can maybe try to footstool those who love short hop aerials but are laggy (ie Shulk's Nair). Something situationally possible, but rare.