Spadefox's MYM4 Story Mode - The 13th Hour ~ It's over, it's done... moving on.

Red Arremer · Dec 8, 2008

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The 13th Hour - a Story Mode for MYM 4 by Spadefox

CHAPTER 0 - INTRODUCTION
The screen first is black, and then slowly lightens up. We are in the interior of a rather dark castle and see a door. The camera focusses on the door, which slowly opens. Out of it comes a person, shrouded in the shadows of the little light. He slowly steps into the shine of one of the few candles, opens his eyes...

ALUCARD

MasterWarlord · Dec 8, 2008

I'm liking how this is coming up so far. . .A lot. You basically going to have Aeon bring everybody to this little world of his or something or other? In any case, you've intruiged me with this basic preview, and it's fitting there's a mention of Dracula so early, whether or not he's playable. Not really that much to comment on so far, but I'm eagerly awaiting more.

Mind actually reading/commenting my SSE?

Tanookie · Dec 8, 2008

Yay you got it up! Excellent work; I'm especially looking forward to watching Maria's part.

Red Arremer · Dec 8, 2008

MasterWarlord said:
Mind actually reading/commenting my SSE?

I am reading it, but I haven't commented on it so far, yes... I wasn't able to read the newest chapter until now, which I will do.

As for the other questions - I won't spoiler anything. ;3

Hyper_Ridley · Dec 8, 2008

Instant win for including one of my move sets in the first chapter.

>_>

<_<

But seriously, that was a fun chapter. Another strong SSE prolouge. I've really got to start work on mine soon. :laugh:

TWILTHERO · Dec 8, 2008

Nice SSE so far Spadefox!! I think that you captured Ilyana's personality perfectly.

Now to get my own SSE started.....

Hyper_Ridley · Dec 12, 2008

Gee, that was a short chapter. There were only two real levels in it, lol. But eh, quality over quantity, I suppose. I suppose you're breaking it into many small chapters to make it easier to read?

Red Arremer · Dec 12, 2008

Hyper_Ridley said:
Gee, that was a short chapter. There were only two real levels in it, lol. But eh, quality over quantity, I suppose. I suppose you're breaking it into many small chapters to make it easier to read?

YES!

MasterWarlord · Dec 12, 2008

Aeon being the only one to have dialogue (Or at least significant dialogue) seems a bit awkward, considering he's a normal VG character like the rest of them. Still, this could be used to good effect, and the SSE is coming together alright so far. It'll be kinda awkward if the whole SSE takes place in this time rift place though. :psycho:

Red Arremer · Dec 12, 2008

He was the only one who had lines, though. Those which he said in the beginning were the only ones he will say, as well. ;P

And no, the Time Rift will be left soon-ish.

Akiak · Dec 12, 2008

Hey Spade is this one of those SSEs where you have to request the inclusion of one of your movesets? In that case then can you include Dexter plz?

Red Arremer · Dec 12, 2008

Akiak said:
Hey Spade is this one of those SSEs where you have to request the inclusion of one of your movesets? In that case then can you include Dexter plz?

There'd be the Roster-thread for this reason, but alas, Dexter is too toony for it, sorry.

Akiak · Dec 16, 2008

Thats okay I understand. When is it gonna be ready?

SkylerOcon · Dec 20, 2008

Cool. But, the writer in me is seeing one major recurring mistake:

SHOW DO NOT TELL.

Many times in your SSE, you had stuff like 'Krusha tried to explain blah blah blah'. That's obviously not exact, but you need to put in the dialouge of Krusha trying to explain everything. It's much more interesting that way =D

Red Arremer · Dec 20, 2008

The only dialouge in my whole SSE will be Aeon's first lines. That's it.

SkylerOcon · Dec 20, 2008

Alright. Your call on that one. Just throwing out advice =D

Red Arremer · Dec 20, 2008

I dislike the use of dialouge in stories like that, especially when I'm going to use characters I hardly or don't know. I can stay at least partly in character when giving them no dialouge. Otherwise my roster would be cut in half - and still keep all Castlevania characters in. So you can imagine what that'd mean.

Hyper_Ridley · Dec 20, 2008

MUCH better than Chapter one. This time it actually felt like a complete update. Yay at 2 of my move sets debuting in the new chapter, but then again, I had 3 of yours in my chapter 1. :laugh:

Walter was a cool boss, I like seeing smaller bosses in addition to big ones.

One question though: Was this also in the time rift? You mentioned Mach Rider at the end, so I wasn't sure.

Red Arremer · Dec 20, 2008

@Hyper_Ridley:

Actually, at the (real) end of Chapter I, Aeon merged the Time Rift with the worlds surrounding it by altering the flow of time and space. Everything is still somehow in the Time Rift, but somehow not, though. It's hard to explain. But it's not in the actual rift.

Tanookie · Dec 20, 2008

Yay for Fiona! ^_^

I especially liked her being paired with Henry. The whole thing was very nicely put together, and I liked your choice of bosses. I'm excited for what's to come!

MasterWarlord · Dec 20, 2008

The update to chapter 1 helped it feel a good deal more complete, especially with the boss. Chapter 2 was also good. Thanks for including Klump/Krusha and AI Colonel, although I don't recall them being listed on the roster. In any case I'm surprised K&K made it, but AI Colonel would be an excellent fit for your SSE if you utilize him well.

And to comment on what SkylerOcon pointed out. . .How do they "explain" what went on, much less without dialougue? When it comes time for my characters to do something on that, I rely heavily on thought bubbles to illustrate. It makes everything much easier. When it gets a bit too awkward to use them I use a couple one liners of dialougue, but it's nothing serious.

Although if you just want to leave it be, that's fine too.

Red Arremer · Dec 20, 2008

Gestures. In my Japan vacation (yes I've been there once) I haven't used a lot of English, and my Japanese is not really usable. So I had to communicate with hands and feet. In most cases I got what I wanted.

And I updated the roster.

Hyper_Ridley · Dec 21, 2008

Chapter 3 already?!?!? Whatever, it's a Metroid chapter so I can forgive you this one time.

Lesee, I like how you made Tails Doll into a good guy, it worked rather well. Raptors being included is of course insta-win, but you mistook Haxx for Spitter at the end of Haxx's intro, thought I'd let you know. Spore Spawn was a neat boss, nice to see a boss with an actual weak point instead of "Attack, Attack, Dodge, repeat!"

And more Hyper_Ridley goodness, how could I not like seeing myself kick butt. :laugh:

Red Arremer · Dec 21, 2008

Hyper_Ridley said:
Chapter 3 already?!?!? Whatever, it's a Metroid chapter so I can forgive you this one time.

I was bored.

Lesee, I like how you made Tails Doll into a good guy, it worked rather well.

Who says Oume and Tails Doll are good guys?

Raptors being included is of course insta-win, but you mistook Haxx for Spitter at the end of Haxx's intro, thought I'd let you know.

Changed!

Spore Spawn was a neat boss, nice to see a boss with an actual weak point instead of "Attack, Attack, Dodge, repeat!"

Arthrovertra had that weakpoint stuff, too, but that was exposed all the time. Glad you like it, though!

And more Hyper_Ridley goodness, how could I not like seeing myself kick butt.

Tanookie · Dec 21, 2008

Dude, this just keeps getting better and better. Awesome work.

Of course, the fact that I like it so much has nothing to do with the fact that all of my characters are in it (well, 'cept for LRRH and Peter Pan, but I can see why they wouldn't fit). It really is great. I like the quasi-horror feel you're going for with it.

Shake~ · Dec 21, 2008

Buncha cliffhangers killin' me man.

Nah I kid, good work. You'd need the cliffhangers considering how many people you're doing.

MasterWarlord · Dec 21, 2008

Yay for finally playing as the villains. It's sort of awkward how you have an alternate version of Samus and Ridley rather than Samus and Ridley themselves. . .But it works. And whatever happened to Rundas? The boss was alright, but he could use another attack or two.

But blah blah blah. That was another good chapter and it's surprising to see it up so soon!

Red Arremer · Dec 21, 2008

With a static mushroom like enemy you can do only this much. Don't worry, I will make far more complex bosses. Just wait for the sections in the next few chapters.

Well, I try to avoid using the actual Brawl cast, so this is that.

I'm very glad you like it, though.

Hyper_Ridley · Dec 28, 2008

Let's break my comments into three parts shall we?

The good:

-continuity throught the whole chapter.

-A pretty fun boss fight (love the attack where she changes the stage)

- Robotnik acting like a villian and not as some joke comic relief character

The bad:

-A tad too short

-Adding to problem 1, there wasn't much build-up to SHODAN. It has all of one cut-scene being "normal"

-I don't really understand who's base this was. Lyon's?

The ugly:

- Eggman hitting on Charlotte.

Red Arremer · Dec 28, 2008

Hyper_Ridley said:
Let's break my comments into three parts shall we?

The good:

-continuity throught the whole chapter.

That's what I will do from now on, together with certain themes attached to 'em.

-A pretty fun boss fight (love the attack where she changes the stage)

- Robotnik acting like a villian and not as some joke comic relief character

^_^

The bad:

-A tad too short

I know... but the theme is pretty worn out, and so am I from it. The next few chapters will be longer again.

-Adding to problem 1, there wasn't much build-up to SHODAN. It has all of one cut-scene being "normal"

No SSE Boss normally has much screen time, but it's a good point... I will keep that in mind for future chapters.

-I don't really understand who's base this was. Lyon's?

Yes, the villains', and therefore Lyon's, with Eggman being the supervisor.

KingK.Rool · Dec 28, 2008

Don't feel ignored, Spade! It was your SSE that finally pushed me over the edge and got me to start writing one of my own! You've got some great stuff here. I love, as Tea Nook says, the horror-ish feel of the whole thing, very creepy and chilling, and you really capture each franchise's spirit well as you explore it.

Red Arremer · Dec 28, 2008

It's relieving to know not only 3 people are reading that SSE... And I'm glad I've been an inspiration to you. I mean, I'm looking forward to your story, as you're a good writer, too, but yea. ^^"

MasterWarlord · Dec 28, 2008

Echo HR on Robotnik, although I loled at his "cute little eggpod". :laugh:

Good job with him.

Although now I'm wondering what you're gonna do with AI Colonel considering this would've been a likely time for him to show up again. But rest assured you haven't forgotten him.

I liked the boss a good bit, although I hope her HP isn't too insane considering how little she's vulnerable. I'm particularly fond of her changing the stage.

Good chapter, but a bit short as HR said. . .Though that's basically what gave it it's continuity. :chuckle:

Red Arremer · Dec 28, 2008

MasterWarlord said:
Echo HR on Robotnik, although I loled at his "cute little eggpod". Good job with him.

Although now I'm wondering what you're gonna do with AI Colonel considering this would've been a likely time for him to show up again. But rest assured you haven't forgotten him.

I haven't. He will reappear, don't worry. He was the one indicating how the course of the factory part changed into the more dark sci-fi one. And I really tried to make Robotnik a villain, though he's with the heroes now. But who can blame him after being thrown off a floating island.

I liked the boss a good bit, although I hope her HP isn't too insane considering how little she's vulnerable. I'm particularly fond of her changing the stage.

No, she's just a little AI. Of course she doesn't have much endurance. I tried to give SHODAN some unique attacks, and I guess that worked out quite well. One of the bosses in Chapter 5 (yes, it'll have two of them) will be a character I was considering doing a moveset for, so prepare for some nice stuffz.

Good chapter, but a bit short as HR said. . .Though that's basically what gave it it's continuity.

I was already slightly worn out from that machine-based theme, as I already had it in Chapter 2, and now again the whole Chapter 4. Chapter 5 will have a desert theme (no, not dessert, HR), and be far longer. I hope. :laugh:

Hyper_Ridley · Dec 28, 2008

Another chapter...

Actually, forget I even said that, becasue this chapter once again keeps with your "getting better with each new chapter" pattern. Yay for continuity without being epically short!

So anyways, it was actually kinda cool to see Nack actually be a friend to someone and not an enemy (or just a jerk). Though I can't help but feel that there was no point to Janga other than to set up for the rest of the chapter, which is especially wierd since I thought that you'd give your own boss fight a better role than that. The second boss made up for it though, and yays, more bosses that aren't screen-filling!

Keep up the good work, my friend.

But can you please give us a few days between chapters next time?

Red Arremer · Dec 28, 2008

Hyper_Ridley said:
Another chapter

Great, huh?!

...

Oh...

Actually, forget I even said that, becasue this chapter once again keeps with your "getting better with each new chapter" pattern. Yay for continuity without being epically short!

So anyways, it was actually kinda cool to see Nack actually be a friend to someone and not an enemy (or just a jerk).

^_^

Though I can't help but feel that there was no point to Janga other than to set up for the rest of the chapter, which is especially wierd since I thought that you'd give your own boss fight a better role than that. The second boss made up for it though, and yays, more bosses that aren't screen-filling!

I dislike Janga a lot, and I guess that's why he isn't that much of a good boss. I despise him a lot as a character, I think that shined through here, as well.

Keep up the good work, my friend.

But can you please give us a few days between chapters next time?

:D

... D:

MasterWarlord · Dec 28, 2008

This chapter was longer. . .But not by much TBH. :dizzy:

And here I thought I as doing a favor giving Janga a big role in my SSE. . .His role is bigger then that of a lot of the playable characters at this point as far as screen time is concerned. If you didn't want him getting that much focus, you coulda told me. For bosses who are more of actual characters then just monsters though, they deserve more screen time.

I liked the mummy boss. What game's it from? It had some decently interesting attacks and lots of them.

I felt the chapter should've continued on with Johnathon, Charlotte, and Robotnik defending Nack from more monsters as the others did their thing and came back with the cure, but meh. It would be somewhat anti climatic if there was another random level to end the chapter instead of the boss fight.

Another good chapter and there's no way I could make two chapters in a day.

Albeit mine are a good deal longer.

Red Arremer · Dec 28, 2008

MasterWarlord said:
This chapter was longer. . .But not by much TBH.

._.

And here I thought I as doing a favor giving Janga a big role in my SSE. . .His role is bigger then that of a lot of the playable characters at this point as far as screen time is concerned. If you didn't want him getting that much focus, you coulda told me. For bosses who are more of actual characters then just monsters though, they deserve more screen time.

I was happy that you gave him such a big role, and such a fitting one, but I didn't know where else I could've put it. I was actually aiming to do that poisoning scene sooner, but Robotnik had joined them already.

I liked the mummy boss. What game's it from? It had some decently interesting attacks and lots of them.

He's from the Darkstalkers series, a beat'em'up by Capcom, and the same series Lei-Lei hails from.

I felt the chapter should've continued on with Johnathon, Charlotte, and Robotnik defending Nack from more monsters as the others did their thing and came back with the cure, but meh. It would be somewhat anti climatic if there was another random level to end the chapter instead of the boss fight.

Yes.

Another good chapter and there's no way I could make two chapters in a day.

Albeit mine are a good deal longer.

=/

Tanookie · Dec 29, 2008

I just keeps getting better and better! Probably one of my favorite movesets so far...might be the more serious tone, I think. And I'm glad you ended at the boss fight; although I'm pretty sure they'll get out in time (as in it's going to happen), I still kinda liked the "cliffhanger." Nice work.

Shake~ · Dec 29, 2008

Great so far, good luck with the rest of it.

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