I am a SWF Senator/Admin Combo that moonlights as a bouncer. AMA!

I need to post more in the PRoom, for reasons slightly against my will but I won't go into that, so I decided to ape Virg's idea. It's a good idea!

This thread will be just like that one but with more:

-Muscles
-Talent
-Free cheeseburgers
-Handsomeness
-Canadianness
-Bear wrestling
-muscles

who are you?

Canadian guys are pretty hot, but only if they have a beard + mustache.

18wheeler said:

who are you?

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Now that's a tricky question. Who am I? Who is anyone! Insert Alien Vision rant here.

In all seriousness, I am a Canadian senator/admin (double ranks are fun). Been on the site, off and on, for about ten years now. Crazy where the time goes. In the real life zone I am a university student and I work at a bar.

I am Evil Eye. Call me EE. Cool people call me EE.

Omnicronk the Balaclava Clad Warrior said:

Canadian guys are pretty hot, but only if they have a beard + mustache.

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Got you covered, and that we are, sir, thank you kindly.

Best SFW bouncing story?

EE is also secretly a soul music radio host, even though he tries to deny it every time.

That voice is so godly, there is no other way.

Virg the Scourge said:

Best SFW bouncing story?

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Whew doggie, I think I might need a more specific question than that. I've dealt with all manner of crazy people 'n' encounters 'n' stuff.

One of my favorites was bouncing out an unruly patron. The story behind this patron is... a story all its own, that's for sure, but the punchline is my favorite. After he was tossed out (he could have walked out but took a swing at one of the guys), he called the cops on us. The cops promptly tossed him in the back of their squad car when they showed up as he bellowed: "WHAT DID I DO!?!?!"

I'm kind of curious if maybe he called the Supreme Court or the Feds on the cops and it just kinda kept movin' up the chain.

Rikishi said:

EE is also secretly a soul music radio host, even though he tries to deny it every time.

That voice is so godly, there is no other way.

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Or so I'm told!

Wait that's not a question. One of these days, Rici. One of these dayyyysss.

Evil Eye said:

I need to post more in the PRoom, for reasons slightly against my will but I won't go into that

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Considering your other option was four months in a (Canadian) prison, I'd say the judge was pretty lenient in allowing you to post in the Pool Room. Speaking of which, what in the world were you thinking when you drank all the liquor in that bar and then leveled the entire building with a well-placed belch?

Also, how many chainsaws would it take to cut through your facial hair?

Have weasels ever ripped your flesh, EE?

I read the Virg workouts out, so my question is, do you like to workout? Any kind of exercises you do in particular?

Also, do you look like one of those Mafia boys like in scarface?

EE is pretty modest and wont say it himself...but the rumors say that he is also a lumberjack.

Hey EE, have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?

How many ****s have you actually punched?

I demand my bear wrestling and cheeseburger.

Oh, and talent. I'd like some of that too.

Why do you share my birthday. Why.

GoldShower said:

Considering your other option was four months in a (Canadian) prison, I'd say the judge was pretty lenient in allowing you to post in the Pool Room. Speaking of which, what in the world were you thinking when you drank all the liquor in that bar and then leveled the entire building with a well-placed belch?

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"I'm either about to fire off NASA rocket gas or projectile vomit", probably.

GoldFinger said:

Also, how many chainsaws would it take to cut through your facial hair?

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Only one, actually. You'd probably go through, like, nine or ten chains though.

Luigi Pastafaria said:

Have weasels ever ripped your flesh, EE?

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Negative. I don't think I've even seen a weasel, actually. If I have it's been a helluva long time.

Mothra said:

muscles AND Muscles?!

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You better believe it.

Omega-3 Acids said:

I read the Virg workouts out, so my question is, do you like to workout? Any kind of exercises you do in particular?

Also, do you look like one of those Mafia boys like in scarface?

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I enjoy it but I slump a lot. I gotta maintain the ol' SUNNY DISPOSITION but as long as I'm doing that, yeah, I enjoy it. It's hard but I always feel great after.

For particular exercises, well, when I'm feeling very in shape (and off the ol' cancer sticks), jogging actually is pretty enjoyable. Otherwise, I just hit up my free weights. I do the staples really, shoulder raises, benchpresses, curls etc etc. I got a new weight bench and a ton of weights for christmas which I'm super happy about -- I just have to buy more weight plates and I'll have a true home gym!

I really like to hit my punching bag too, that's lots of fun. Good ol' fashioned lunkhead idiot exercise. No counting, no thinking, just pure rugged exertion.

As for the goon thing haha, well. I haven't seen that movie in a while and google is being a totally unreliable douche. But I'm guessing it's the usually big classy greaseball goon guy, and I think I look more like a MAN OF THE FOREST.

Some bouncers at other clubs get to do the threepiece suit goon thing though and I think that'd be fun. Like you work for a really low-rent Bond villain or something.

Disco Wisco said:

EE is pretty modest and wont say it himself...but the rumors say that he is also a lumberjack.

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...

I can neither confirm nor deny this.

Spyro the Dragon said:

Hey EE, have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?

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Yes.

It was the most romantic night of my life.

No nickname because I want to point out I had fried ice cream once and it is AWESOME said:

How many ****s have you actually punched?

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Hahaha. That whole d***-punching joke, I can't even remember where that came from at this point. Funny enough, I've never punched one. I've punched a fair number of faces, guts, and kidneys, but I've never hit a man in the...

Wait, I take it back. One time at a party a friend of mine tried to crush me with a chair... for some reason. Drunk as I was, I didn't realize what was going on until I was crumpled down to my knees and lower, so I reached back and fired off a punch straight ahead. Into the junk.

So, one. I have punched exactly one d***.

(It's a great conflict resolver!)

Spelt Incorrectly said:

I demand my bear wrestling and cheeseburger.

Oh, and talent. I'd like some of that too.

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You didn't ask a questions

Eh, **** it. Your burger is in the mail, and you are now good at math.

As for the bear wrestling, just let me oil up here...

Air said:

Why do you share my birthday. Why.

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No, why do YOU trespass on my birthday. And you like. Gay it all up. And stuff.

Teranosaurus Rex said:

Would you marry me if I turned into a bootylicious black woman?

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You comin' onto me bro?

Hmmmmmmmm well, you've already got that sassy personality...

Whew, I'll try to update more regularly now. Didn't expect that many posts.

Anyways

[collapse=as promised...] [/collapse]

Do you have an evil eye? If so, is your eye as evil as this guy's?

That's not an eye, that's a jacket button!

I was informed that there would be free cheeseburgers. Do these include bacon? This is very important.

Crime erupts in your area and you must don a disguise with which you fight crime. What is your superhero moniker?

Would you date an incredibly beautiful woman if she had Rockin's voice?

What if she had the mind of a horse?

What's wrong with having the mind of a horse?

Oh wow, haha.

On a scale of 1/10, how much do you love me?

It's okay to say 10. Heck, even 11.

Why is Canada so much better than the United States?

I didn't know math was a talent...


Time to go enter a reality TV talent show.

How much do you weigh?
Do you ever have to get physical with someone much larger than you at work?
Do you ever get afraid some guy can kick your ***?

Why don't we rant at each other on AIM anymore?

Also, are you still in school?

Are you the danger?

Do you actually find a total zombie apocalypse scenario to be a reasonable possibility? By that, I mean if a virus actually existed that was similar in nature to Solanum.

Do you remember what got you into smash bros in the first place?

Do you still play? Why/why not?

I miss you sir

EE, you still haven't answered my question.

Why you copycat virg.

Why do you sound like NovaWar from Starcraft 2's Lag Tv?

Like exactly like him.

When I asked you where you lived, you told me I won a peg.

When will I receive this peg you mentioned, and what is it made out of?