My Creative Writing Class Is A Joke

[Lythium]

Oh, Twilight. Or more aptly named Why Mormons Shouldn't Write Vampire Fiction.

And I know Twilight is bad, but I don't think I would mind it nearly so much if a) I didn't have to deal with it at work and b) it wasn't so hyped. It's embarrassing to see grown women going gaga over a fictional character.

 

[Dre89]

I don't read much fiction, not because I don't like it, I enjoy it alot (so much easier to read than philosophy), but I feel if I'm going to read it should be something philosophical or educational in general.

Now I'm sure most of you will agree that most Hollywood movies nowadays require virtually no intellectaul talent, and hardly have any intellectual depth/layers at all. All that's required is significant financial backing, all the effort is in the special effects/props etc.. All you have to do is accurately appeal to the relevant target marekt, which isn't really hard at all. The hardest market to appeal to is the intellectual one, but that's avoided because it's not a very big one.

It's so unintellectual that whenever a movie like Da Vinci Code or Pulp Fiction comes it it's hailed as intellectual genius, but that's simply because everyhting else around it has no intellectual depth. If all movies were intellectual, scriptwriters would be challenged to produce far more ingenious material.

My point is, we know movies are just about appealing to an easy target market, but is creative writing the same? All this criticism of Twilight makes it sound like you don't need much intellect to be successful.

So do you need intellect to be successful in creative writing?

 

[Veril]

So do you need intellect to be successful in creative writing?

Savvy, yes. Depth...no, at least if you measure success through revenue. Look at romance novels, they're extremely formulaic and practically unreadable except by their target audiences. The vast majority of people are unsuccessful as fiction writers, regardless of talent. The % of people who make money this way is teeeeeny tiny.


Dayum, you really like the word intellectual btw. Expand that vocabulary and use other words... you'll sound less pretentious

You know that a lot of good, deep philosophy is contained in fiction "looks at the existentialist writers" "looks at Stranger in a Strange Land" "etc". Who's your favorite "philosopher(s)"? I've always loved Machiavelli, probably the most misunderstood person... ever.

Oh, Twilight. Or more aptly named Why Mormons Shouldn't Write Vampire Fiction.

They should stick to SciFi (sup Orsen Scott Card)...

 

[Dre89]

I used it repetitively because I was constantly referring to the same thing, I also couldn't really think of any other word to use lol.

 

[Lythium]

So do you need intellect to be successful in creative writing?

To be a good writer? Yes. To be successful? No.

 

[Jam Stunna]

Now I'm sure most of you will agree that most Hollywood movies nowadays require virtually no intellectaul talent, and hardly have any intellectual depth/layers at all. All that's required is significant financial backing, all the effort is in the special effects/props etc.. All you have to do is accurately appeal to the relevant target marekt, which isn't really hard at all. The hardest market to appeal to is the intellectual one, but that's avoided because it's not a very big one.

This is what a former history teacher of mine would call a "glittering generality." It's an attractive statement because it takes a cheap shot at a big target and justifies itself ("I'm sure most of you will agree") all at the same time.

There's nothing wrong with entertainment, even mindless entertainment. If you're bashing Transformers 2 for not having intellectual depth, you are wrong, because you went into that movie obviously seeking the wrong thing. One of my favorite movies is Happy Gilmore; I don't watch it to be challenged, I watch it to see Bob Barker punch Adam Sandler. You have

People may not like Twilight, but the primary complaint here is that it's being used in an educational setting, something that it was obviously not written for. The main thrust of the argument here isn't that the teacher is wrong for liking Twilight, but that she's wrong for presenting it as good writing in an academic setting. There's eye candy, there's ear candy, and there's book candy. We all enjoy Snickers or Twix or M & Ms every now and then, why should entertainment be any different?


As to the "intellect" required for creative writing...I've read some really bad books, but I still give the author credit for even finishing it, because writing is not easy, regardless of whether you're Mark Twain or some fanfic writer in his mother's basement. Of course it takes intellect to translate thoughts and ideas into words, even if (maybe especially if) you don't do it well. My writing is awful, but that doesn't mean I didn't try to make it not awful. A lack of skill is just that: a comment on a writer's skill, not his/her intellect.

 

[Dre89]

I never said liking non-intellectual movies was bad, I enjoy some non-intellectual movies too.

I was just making the statement that most Hollywood movies are not intellectual, and was wondering if writing required intellect to be successful.

And no I haven't seen the Transformer's series. I found out Starship Troopers is apparently somewhat intellectual too lol.

 

[Veril]

Pro-tip: using the word intellectual over and over and over makes anyone look like a tool. I can't take what you are saying seriously due to the massive boner you have for that word.

 

[M.K]

As bad as Twilight is... sooo bad... it was insanely successful. You should pay attention to the way it takes advantage of its (insipid) target audience and exploit that for the A... and for the b****es.



Why take this instead AP-bio (unless you already have)? It won't get you out of real (college premed/nursing major) A&P, whereas APBio will get you out of Gen-bio which is usually a prereq.


You don't actually have to take the AP Psych class to get a 5 on the test (I did along with one girl actually in the class, I don't know of anyone who's got below a 3... ever). The class and test are both stupid easy.

I already took AP Biology last semester and got an A. =D
Haha, and yeah, AP Psychology is lulzy at this point!

 

[Nidtendofreak]

If you're bashing Transformers 2 for not having intellectual depth, you are wrong, because you went into that movie obviously seeking the wrong thing.

What if you're bashing Transformers 2 because you went in expecting something that at least resembled a cohesive plot instead of random plot ideas thrown around and mixed in a blender along with cool fighting robots and Megan Fox running slow mo away from explosions? >_> They got the fights down right, but everything else...ugh.

 

[Teran]

You don't need a coherent plot, that's a point. You just need random sequences that give an excuse for giant robots to get it on.

 

[finalark]

There are plenty of thought-provoking flims with intelligent writing out there. It's just that most people would much rather see stuff blow up when watching a movie. For instance, if you were to ask a few people if they would like to see Die Hard or Good Night and Good Luck, most people would rather see Die Hard.

That, and there's no reason for Hollywood writers to put effort into their scripts. Seeing how in Hollywood writers get payed dirt for the work.

 

[StealthyGunnar]

Honestly, there are few very good movies out there, but I suppose it's anyone's opinion.

How did this thread go from a creating writing class to hollywood movies?

Anyways, I am taking an Accelerated Geometry class this year as a freshmen, and I doubt I'll be using any of it in the real world. For example, I do not believe I need to learn how to prove a theory/postulate is true if I already know it's true! I know how to observe, all humans do it everyday.

Still, don't drop out of the class. Who knows, it might be better later on in the year.

 

[Pelikinesis]

I was taking a Creative Writing class of my own back during MYM4 (which is my excuse for everything wrong i did in MYM4) and I had the next best thing in my class:

A girl in the class essentially rewrote Twilight, but with a Greek mythology motif to it as to further degrade once respectable things.

The worst part was writing a critique for her story, which was just me trying as hard as I could not to simply hand in a vomit-soaked paper to her.

 

[Espy Rose]

Oh, Twilight. Or more aptly named Why Mormons Shouldn't Write Vampire Fiction.

And I know Twilight is bad, but I don't think I would mind it nearly so much if a) I didn't have to deal with it at work and b) it wasn't so hyped. It's embarrassing to see grown women going gaga over a fictional character.

Try living with a family comprised of 75% Twilight fans...including the males...

It was a very sad, hopeless Christmas for me when half of my family gave each other Twilight-related things, and proceeded to go nuts over everything they had while watching a burned copy of New Moon.

This is what a former history teacher of mine would call a "glittering generality." It's an attractive statement because it takes a cheap shot at a big target and justifies itself ("I'm sure most of you will agree") all at the same time.

There's nothing wrong with entertainment, even mindless entertainment. If you're bashing Transformers 2 for not having intellectual depth, you are wrong, because you went into that movie obviously seeking the wrong thing. One of my favorite movies is Happy Gilmore; I don't watch it to be challenged, I watch it to see Bob Barker punch Adam Sandler. You have

People may not like Twilight, but the primary complaint here is that it's being used in an educational setting, something that it was obviously not written for. The main thrust of the argument here isn't that the teacher is wrong for liking Twilight, but that she's wrong for presenting it as good writing in an academic setting. There's eye candy, there's ear candy, and there's book candy. We all enjoy Snickers or Twix or M & Ms every now and then, why should entertainment be any different?


As to the "intellect" required for creative writing...I've read some really bad books, but I still give the author credit for even finishing it, because writing is not easy, regardless of whether you're Mark Twain or some fanfic writer in his mother's basement. Of course it takes intellect to translate thoughts and ideas into words, even if (maybe especially if) you don't do it well. My writing is awful, but that doesn't mean I didn't try to make it not awful. A lack of skill is just that: a comment on a writer's skill, not his/her intellect.

This, this, and more of this.

For example, I hate T2:RotF with a burning passion since it feels like a *******ization of the Transformers cartoons I grew up with as a child.

However, the fighting scenes are bloody glorious. Optimus is a killing machine (pun definitely intended).

The jokes were terrible though. I was appalled when I heard laughter in my theater when the movie queued the humping dogs.

=============

I feel like I'm lucky. My Creative Writing class was great. The teacher wasn't some egocentric writer, though she was very pessimistic and more or less, a crazy ***** (though that's EXACTLY the reason I liked her so much), but she also pounded concepts and different styles of story writing into our heads for the year.

First semester was pretty much dissecting and analyzing short stories and other pieces of prose, while making our own and sharing them with the class for constructive criticism (and the long, long revising process). I remember spending about three months on a ten page short story. Longest paper I've ever written in terms of time taken to work on it, but it was also insanely fun since we were allowed to write about every and anything under the sun.

Second semester was the same mess, except with a stronger focus on poetry and other set forms of writing.

We also created a literary magazine.

Good times, my creative writing class. Easily the best class I had throughout my entire high school years.

 

[Jam Stunna]

This, this, and more of this.

For example, I hate T2:RotF with a burning passion since it feels like a *******ization of the Transformers cartoons I grew up with as a child.

Off topic, but what did you think of Beast Wars/Beast Machines?

 

[Espy Rose]

Off topic, but what did you think of Beast Wars/Beast Machines?

Meh. Not the best, but they were okay. I watched Beast Wars the most out of any Transformers cartoon, though. It amused my iddy-biddy child brain.

They did a great job at killing thirty minutes before Pokemon, SatAM, or any of those heavy-hitting shows like Animaniacs or Tiny Toons.

I'm pretty **** sure I wouldn't like them as much if I re-watched the Beast Wars/Machines cartoons, but only because I'm not much of a Transformers kind of person anymore.

I watched way too many cartoons when I was a kid. Pretty much anything.

 

[Jam Stunna]

Meh. Not the best, but they were okay. I watched Beast Wars the most out of any Transformers cartoon, though. It amused my iddy-biddy child brain.

They did a great job at killing thirty minutes before Pokemon, SatAM, or any of those heavy-hitting shows like Animaniacs or Tiny Toons.

I'm pretty **** sure I wouldn't like them as much if I re-watched the Beast Wars/Machines cartoons, but only because I'm not much of a Transformers kind of person anymore.

I watched way too many cartoons when I was a kid. Pretty much anything.

It's funny you put it that way, because I have been watching Beast Wars again, and with the exception of the first half of the first season, I thought it was better than I remembered. But I can see why you'd feel that way.

Anyway, back to our regularly scheduled programming.

 

[Espy Rose]

It's funny you put it that way, because I have been watching Beast Wars again, and with the exception of the first half of the first season, I thought it was better than I remembered. But I can see why you'd feel that way.

Anyway, back to our regularly scheduled programming.

Well, I wouldn't be able to say anything with absolute certainty unless I decided to watch them again, THEN make my renewed opinion. I wouldn't mind of course, but it's more of an issue of time, really.

Besides, I have the SatAM box set. That small fraction of my childhood is all I need.

 

[Pelikinesis]

My one complaint upon revisiting Beast Wars:

Cheetor.

MAKE HIM GO AWAY.

 

[Jam Stunna]

My one complaint upon revisiting Beast Wars:

Cheetor.

MAKE HIM GO AWAY.

Oh God, the first three episodes are AWFUL because of Cheetor. The show really begins to kick *** in the second half of season 1.

 

[Gender Offender]

I read twelve pages of Twilight.
I really don't see what all the hype is about.
My friends are all ILY EDWARD
But who gets what all the hype and appreciation is about?
I don't like Meyer's style of writing either,
ADJ+word+ADJ+word+ADJ every other word is an adjective​

 

[Pelikinesis]

@GFB:

I feel the EXACT same way about another early 3d show, Reboot. It just proves that the interests of children should not be taken into account when creating a children's show.

Meyer has serious voodoo powers. I have a cousin who has her Master's Degree in English and is well on her way towards a Ph.D, and she read the entire series. So, the fact that her books can net in a person who by every definition should know better all the flaws in the series, just proves Meyers' voodoo magic.

I will confess, I thoroughly enjoyed the vampire baseball scene in the movie. I offer no defense for this.

 

[Jam Stunna]

Yeah, Reboot became seriously amazing when it found its footing.

 

[Pelikinesis]

Seriously, how did they go from the annoying kid sidekick exclaiming, "AlphaNumeric!" as some idiot catch phrase, to an alternate, older and rugged version of said annoying kid sidekick shooting a being named Daemon with a bullet with her name written on it?

Because the writers of the show said, "Screw it. This is going to happen because it's stupid epic, not because it teaches kids the meaning of friendship."

 

[Chris Lionheart]

For our current assignment, we are writing satirical commentary. I decided to have fun with it.

Video Games, the Modern Plague​

Modern games are riddled with violence. Everywhere you turn, you see armored marines getting shot in the head, armies of helpless goblins being torn to shreds by lone a lone swordsman, and worst of all, overweight Italian plumbers stomping on defenseless turtles? The madness seems like it will never end, but it is having real world effects?

A perfect example of violence in the gaming industry is Prototype, a "sandbox" game for the XBOX 360 and Sony Playstation 3. You play as Alex Mercer, a man who is also a living weapon with the ability to transform his body. While many games offer moral choice systems to allow the gamer to be good or evil, the only moral choice Alex ever has to make is how he wants to kill someone, and he sure has a lot of choices, for there are an endless number of ways to kill the millions of innocent Manhattan citizens. You can throw cars and air conditioners, steal military weapons, commit vehicular homicide, turn your hands into claws that instantly liberate your victim's top halves from their bottom halves, devour them and take their bodies, and countless other sadistic acts that can either be considered horrifying or downright hilarious depending on what type of person you are. To give you an example, you can grab a random civilian, run up the nearest skyscraper, and while she screams to be let down, you send her flying off the top and into a crowded street. To quote the eccentric game critic, Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw, "If only Jeffrey Dahmer had had this game to blow off steam with…" Alex Mercer's preferred method of transportation is even gory. He "flies by shooting blood out of his wrist like emo Peter Pan." Despite all this, the Activision still had the gall to pass Alex off as a decent man seeking justice through his dialogue. Once again quoting Croshaw, "I had to laugh when I was on a mission, plowing a tank through a crowded street, and over the agonized screams, Alex said 'Gosh, I sure hope this is the right thing to do.' That's like if Mr. Bean were a mass murderer."

So do video games cause violence? Surely, the murders of people like OJ Simpson, the famous former football star, the earlier mentioned Jeffrey Dahmer, and Hitler must have been the result of playing too much Pokemon. The need to catch 'em all drove them all to insanity and caused many an unnecessary loss of human life. Why, even Tiger Wood's questionable activities were the result of countless hours of Mario and Donkey Kong. Games must be to blame for everything that goes wrong in society. Stupid, immature people have nothing to do with it.

 

[finalark]

Mr. Lionheart, you recive the Ark seel of aporval.

That was seriously great, you should talk about how how evil Bioware is for slipping in a "highly erotic pornographic mini game" into their 80-hour sci-fi epic Mass Effect. Surely 30-seconds of PG-13 sex will create hundreds of rapists because of Bioware's act of evil!

 

[Chris Lionheart]

Lol, thanks... you think that my essay would be school appropriate though... I mean this is a school where people get expelled for drawing a cartoon of the school on fire and one of the teachers handing out dress code violations during it.... And I'm not joking, sadly.

 

[finalark]

Ah... that's a shame. It's well written, sarcastic, enjoyable, and acurate. If you could keep that up for about two more pages then I'd give it an A.

Then again, I'm not a teacher.

 

[Chris Lionheart]

Ah... that's a shame. It's well written, sarcastic, enjoyable, and acurate. If you could keep that up for about two more pages then I'd give it an A.

Then again, I'm not a teacher.

It comes to just over 2 pages typed in word and double spaced (which is the format she wants).

Also, my response group accused me of plagiarizing two groups members.... for having the same topic as another member (but taking a completely f***ing different approach) and referencing another group member's topic with the Tiger Woods joke (with the only reference being that his paper was about Tiger Woods)... idiots.

 

[§witch]

Have you read Twilight yourself by any chance? Or are you just basing your opinion off of what you read on the internet?

 

[VodkaHaze]

Next time, go into the class, say your favourite piece of fiction is My Immortal and read a chapter from it. You should also muck around with them, tell them a joke:

Q. How do you ruin a vampire?
A. Call Stephanie Meyer and tell her to write a book!

I don'y read much fiction, I prefer books by Bill Bryson because they are witty and hilarious (Notes from a Big Country taught me so much about American people and lifestyles) though I'm hoping to pick up Insomnia by Stephen King again and get through it.

 

[PassWurD]

Next time, go into the class, say your favourite piece of fiction is My Immortal and read a chapter from it. You should also muck around with them, tell them a joke:

Q. How do you ruin a vampire?
A. Call Stephanie Meyer and tell her to write a book!

I don'y read much fiction, I prefer books by Bill Bryson because they are witty and hilarious (Notes from a Big Country taught me so much about American people and lifestyles) though I'm hoping to pick up Insomnia by Stephen King again and get through it.

Oh God, My Immortal. Noo, the memories.

 

[Xiahou Dun]

Have you read Twilight yourself by any chance? Or are you just basing your opinion off of what you read on the internet?

I did.

Just to ruin people who try to throw that exact statement at me.

I wish I hadn't though. It wasn't worth it just to prove the point. It's just as bad as the internet who hasn't read it claims.

 

[§witch]

I read twelve pages of Twilight.
I really don't see what all the hype is about. My friends are all ILY EDWARD But who gets what all the hype and appreciation is about? I don't like Meyer's style of writing either, ADJ+word+ADJ+word+ADJ every other word is an adjective

Adjectives are very important to writing.

I'm almost beginning to be more irritated by everyone who rags on Twilight, than the ******** fangirls.

I did.

Just to ruin people who try to throw that exact statement at me.

I wish I hadn't though. It wasn't worth it just to prove the point. It's just as bad as the internet who hasn't read it claims.

Same with me, I hated every second of it, but that was because of the story. What really pisses me off is the people who haven't read it say **** like "YEAH SHE HAS A BAD WRITING STYLE LOL THESAURUS", **** those people are a ****load worse than the fangirls, because they're even more mindless and they don't even have anything to base it off of.

 

[finalark]

Have you read Twilight yourself by any chance? Or are you just basing your opinion off of what you read on the internet?

I have. I thought that Bella was a Marry Sue, Edward was practically characterless, and that the main story was nothing more than just indallgence into a childish fantasy.

 

[00000]

I have. I thought that Bella was a Marry Sue, Edward was practically characterless, and that the main story was nothing more than just indallgence into a childish fantasy.

XDXD

 

[Chris Lionheart]

Adjectives are very important to writing.

Yes, yes they are... but not in excessive use.

I'm almost beginning to be more irritated by everyone who rags on Twilight, than the ******** fangirls.

Good for you. Did you just come here to troll me or is there an actual reason for your being here?COLOR]

Same with me, I hated every second of it, but that was because of the story. What really pisses me off is the people who haven't read it say **** like "YEAH SHE HAS A BAD WRITING STYLE LOL THESAURUS", **** those people are a ****load worse than the fangirls, because they're even more mindless and they don't even have anything to base it off of.

With all due respect, I completely disagree with you here and I don't much appreciate the specific aim of your insults at me. Good day.

Even without reading the book series, most of us do NOT base our rants off of nothing. I base most of my criticisms on the opinions of my friends who have brought themselves to read the series. They similarly criticized it heavily, and I respect their opinions a lot more than the opinions of those who say "THE SERIES IS SOOO GOOD!!! EDWARD/JACOB/POTATO IS SOOO HOT!" I also have done my fair share of research on TV tropes, which again, is a lot more professional and respectable than the opinions of fangirls.

 

[JOE!]

Chris, how dare you criticize my opinion when you yourself cannot deny that "POTATO IS SOOOO HOT!"






(chew)

 

[Mardyke]

This writing class may be torture for any unprepared mind within it, but to me it sounds like a whopping huge goldmine.

Please Chris, I implore you to last a little longer in there. Think of the lulz we will have behind their backs with each weekly update: surely it's wroth it, Twilight or no. Do it for us!