Near Death Experiences

[Crimson King]

Well, as with most of my topics that are obscure, it follows and event that happened recently. Mine happened about an hour ago.

After finishing drum practice, One of my friends named Heck and one of my other friends who we will call Webster decided to go eat at a popular chicken place in the next town. I rode with Heck because my mom wasn't too keen on me driving to Houma in the rain. Well, we make it there in 10 minutes when it normally takes 20. This I knew was an omen.

I brought Webster to practice so eventually I had to bring him home. He rode with another friend of ours named Reu to the place to eat. He rode home with us. My truck was at school.

Heck decided to scare Webster by pretending to go the wrong way even though he knew the way. While we were driving this dimly lit road, I was trying to crank the window up with a wrench since Heck's car is a piece of ****. It seriously has no handles on the passenger side, you have to open it from the outside.

Anyway, we were going to a place called Devil Swamp Road, where many people have wrecked but most people go there to mud ride a little. After making some sharp turns that put us on 2 wheels, I became a little scared but then put to ease. We crossed some train tracks when we hit a HUGE puddle of water. It put us under for a little bit. Then, we continued to drive after being scared when Heck lost control a little. I then notice we were swerving off the road onto the Sugar cane. Luckly it was all cut and as we weren't further I knew this would be bad. We rested after about a 30 feet run in the mud. I stepped out the car and asserted the situation before calling Reu. We managed to stop about 5 feet before these huge ruts (the kind you see when people plant stuff on large farms). If we had gone that extra 5 feet, which may have meant a little bit more speed, we would have flipped forward as Heck's car isn't too high so the front bumper would have caught the rut. I began to panick a little as I realized how close I was to death.

Reu came and some kind people who were passing by. After many failed attempts we finally got free and thanked the kind people. Heck dropped us off at school and I brought Webster home. We thought alot about how dangerous it all was and we tried to cope with what happened. Then, I brought Webster home and came home.

I guess, I just wanted to get that all out off my chest for now. I mean the fact that I could have been killed or hurt to the point where I couldn't move till morning frightened me. Anyone else have anything close to this?

 

[Vinnie275]

I don't fear experiences like that, I LOVE them.

They really make me feel alive.
Like when a huge group of gangsters stops me when I'm walking somewhere, but then I represent well and they don't shoot me.

Kimochi ii.

I love the adrenaline. It makes me feel like flying.

 

[Adrian W. K.]

When I almost got hit by an SUV, I was on foot though. I was crossing the street and since I'm short, the guy didn't see me so he tried to make a right turn, missing my buddy and me by a few inches. Psh, he stopped and looked at us then drove away without saying anything.

Oh, and when I had pneumonia my heart stopped for a bit, so I was sort of dead for a little while.

 

[CORY]

i got in an accident on the freeway and completely totalled my car, yet walked out. i was looking at directions to get to some college group thing for last minute project stuff and when i looked up there was a turn in the road about five seconds away with a car straight ahead of me about two seconds away. i react too sharply and yank the wheel away from the turn and the car, then noticed that i had just cut across the next two lanes and was about to hit another wall. so, i jam the brakes (stupid number one) and yank the wheel again (stupid number two) and lose control and skid out.

so, here i am, going sixty-ish (a guy who was behind me confirmed that) heading straight to the concrete embankment on the side of the road. i know i can't stop in time, nor can i turn in any useful way, so i just utilize my newfound kung fu death grip on the steering wheel and grit my teeth. i hit the embankment, pass out, come to upside down skidding with glass and gravel hitting my face, then i lose my glasses and black out again. when i come to after that, i'm hanging upside down wondering what sort of ****ed up dream i just had (i couldn't see **** without my glasses.) then it hits me, i'm upside down. wtf? then i feel some blood trickling down my face? blood? wtf? then it hits me, "oooooooooooh, this isn't... a dream... ooooook...."

well, i can move, i don't feel any real damage anywhere, so i click off the shoulder strap, put my good arm down to brace myself and set my legs against the bottom of my dash and undo the lap belt. i'm still blind so i feel around vaguely for my glasses then i hear people running up and calling to me. i hate being blind so i ask if they can find my glasses (i think this confused them...) and just accept that they aren't in the car then crawl out.

in the end, my glasses were found (scratched up, but useable) and all i had was a small gash on my shoulder and a torn up elbow (the skin around it, only, no damage to the joint itself.) but i ended up skidding for about 100 or so yards down the offramp of the freeway. the passenger side took almost all the damage, pretty obvious when you looked at it and saw that it had been pressed down a good two or three feet. i was told i was lucky to be alive and that if anyone had been in the passenger seat, they'd be dead since it had collapsed in so far. so, yeah, near death, apparently, but i walked out with only a slightly injured left arm and scratched up glasses.

 

[choknater]

I was in Canada last week and we were having oysters. I was about to take a bite into the contents of one until one of my mom's friends told me that there was a red tide.

It freaked me out, I like, threw that shi0t down foo.

 

[Omnipotence]

I almost drowned.

It was great.

 

[Stopsign]

Well I was hiking a mountain conveintly called Tumble Down Mountain when I was little. I was hiking with my family and forgot to wear my hiking boots. By the way this was in the early spring when the snow was just melting in Maine. Well anyway on the way down the mountain there was a waterfall that we had to go across. My dad stayed with me to make sure I didn't trip in the waterfall. But instead he did. He slipped of the waterfall, but he was holding on to my leg. I was about to fall when he let go of my leg. I just ended up with a big gouge in my leg. But my dad was not so fortunet. He had landed on a rock 15 feet below. Luckly two parimedics came across us 10 minutes later. They wrapped his arms in gause for they were both broken. But in a few minutes the parimedic got a call that another person fell off of a 50 foot cliff and broke his leg. So my dad hiked down the rest of the mountain with two broken arms. We even had to drive him to the hospital for the ambulance was taken up by the guy who had a broken leg.

Later on we found out that my dad had broken his arms in 11 places each. It took two years for my dad to fully be able to use his hands. I'm just glad that didn't happen to me, I might have been killed

 

[XDaDePsak]

Sharks only bite when you touch their privates

I had alcohol poisoning when I chugged a gallon of whisky (100+ shots?)

I was in a coma for a few hours, and they had to recussitate me several times with those shock things. ZAP!

Oh, and I didn't see a white light or anything. It was like not existing. I didn't even dream. Alot of people say they don't dream, but they can still sense the flow of time. When they wake up, even if they had no dream, they can feel the time that's passed. BUT when that happened to me, I didn't feel the passage of time. From the time I went unconcious, to coma, to dead, and back, and woke up in the morning, It was like a spilt second. Like someone skipped a chapter in my life. I didn't even seen blackness. I simply didn't exist during that time. It was the most peaceful thing ever.

 

[Vinnie275]

Re: Sharks only bite when you touch their privates

Originally posted by XDaDePsak
I had alcohol poisoning when I chugged a gallon of whisky (100+ shots?)

You never did tell me what convinced you to drink a whole gallon. Most of the time when I see that happen it's cuz:

1. Girls offer peep shows for empty bottles
2. Drinking games

 

[XDaDePsak]

The icon above this post represents me tumbing my bumbum

I think I did it for the sake of drinking. I had like 9 shots before I just flat out chugged it, so I wasn't thinking about it.

 

[Giygas]

When I was little I went to a friend's pool party. I was only like 7 or 8 I think, so I didn't know how to swim at the time. My older brother and his friends were there. One of them thought it would be funny to push me into the deep end.

So I get pushed in and the water goes over my head, I'm kicking and punching the water frantically to stay afloat, yelling for help, having water come in my mouth, and I see them standing there watching me, laughing. Eventually, in desperate and exhaustive measures, I managed to get myself over to the side of the pool.

I left the party after that. It wasn't a very pleasant experience.

Besides that, I don't think I've been in too many near death experiences, lol. I've never been in a car accident, really, but I have had some very close calls. One time my friend was driving his van and he was in a zone or something because he wasn't paying attention, and he just went right through a red light. At the time, an ambulance was turning and they had to slam on their breaks. The ambulance was within a few inches of slamming into us (into me, because I was closest). Going at around 50-55 mph, I would have been screwed.

Another time, on the highway, we were driving along. My older brother was driving and he hit an icy patch (one more reason I hate cold weather). He lost control of it and the car started to drift to the other lane in which a van was driving (going around 60-65 mph). With some yanks on the wheel, our car swerved a bit but thankfully managed to stay on the road without crashing.

Remember that each time you get in a car could be your last...

 

[Vinnie275]

I remember in 8th grade an asian tried to drown me.
The funny thing is, I have asthma so I can only stay underwater for 24 seconds at max (I know I know it's not my fault, I'm actually an uber-fast swimmer though, undefeated in racing).

When you're kicking and splashing that 24 goes down to about 10 seconds.

He held me under for 2 min.

Which is an amazing feat on myself, a testament of my will to survive and overcome.

During my childhood I climbed slippery broken trees and came near death thousands of times I'm sure...kids are dumb about trees. Let me repeat myself.

[SIZE=+2]KIDS ARE DUMB ABOUT TREES. If you have children later in your life, keep them away from trees! They will break their arm and kill themselves.[/SIZE]

I've never broken any bones though. My instincts are too good. Spider-sense. w00t.

 

[Matt]

About a year and a half ago, my brother and I were out in town lookin' through the entertainment goods at Borders. Ironically, my parents showed up in a separate vehicle, not even aware that we were there as well. My brother wanted to stay a while longer, but I wanted to get home so I left with my parents.

Later that night, my brother got into a head on collision on the way home (both drivers going about 60). The other car (an SUV) had four people in it who were all about 16 to 17 years old. The driver, for whatever reason, drifted to my brother's side of the road and slammed into his passenger side. None of them could walk away from the accident -- except for my brother.

How does this involve me? Well, I'm told that, had I been in the passenger side of my brother's car that night, I'd probably be dead. Witnesses and pictures show that side being clearly smashed in. Oh, and my brother's car caught fire and burned to a crispy frame. Isn't that a comforting thought?

I played dodgeball the other day and got nailed in the head. Out of nowhere, a hear a deep voice. It was like the voice of God:

"HEAD SHOT."

Miraculously, I was able to respawn without any trouble.

 

[Afrotaki]

I was waterskiing and such with my friends when I bailed (of course)... Rather than let go of the rope, though, I stupidly tried to hold on as long as I could. Although I was wearing a life jacket, my speed kept pulling me under the water, and everytime I tried to take a breath, I felt all this nasty lakewater shooting down my throat. So, I let go, and when I got back on the boat, I didn't get back off until we reached land.

Another time, I was in this secret facility trying to arm this cool little bomb I had, when a bunch of crazy men with guns started shooting at me. I was like, "What? Oh, HELLZ no!" I whipped out my uber-weapon and decimated them all. I went and set the bomb, but I forgot it was a proximity mine, so as soon as it was armed, it blew up on me. Luckily, I found a health pack and bullet-proof vest, so it turned out fine, and I escaped in my helicopter/jet/cool vehicle.

 

[FoX_KiLLz]

A couple of months ago, I was riding my bike in the wrong lane, (as I normally do), when some idiot is driving in the totally right direction and almost hits me. He was litterally 5 inches away from me. If he wouldn't have turned, I would have died. It still gave me a great adrenaline rush. I need those to survive. :D

 

[McFox]

I didn't get a driver's license in the conventional sense. I didn't get my permit when I was fifteen, and then my extended license at 16, and then my real license at 17. I just waited until I was seventeen, took both of the tests, and got my regular license.

So really, I didn't have a lot of experience to pull from. I did absolutely fine on my driver's test (I got a 98, because my instructor never gave a 100 because no one's a perfect driver, and because I sped through one yellow light I should've stopped for).

However, one of the first rainy days I was driving, I was going between 40 and 45, and I was at that exact spot where the light turned yellow, and if I accelerated I could make it through, or I still had time to hit the brakes. It didn't occur to me that the streets were slick, and I hit the brakes. I skidded, and skidded, and skidded, and barely missed going into the intersection. The other cars started honking for me, and I finally ended up facing a little bit to the left of where I was going .

The only accident I've been in was when I hit a dump truck. My mom called my cell phone, and I looked down just as the truck was turning right. I only looked down for a split second, but by the time I checked again it was too late. It ripped my mirror completely out, but since I have a Saturn Ion, the sides are made of plastic and not metal (I wasn't aware of that), so there was no actual damage to the car, besides the mirror. And because there was no damage to the truck (obviously ), they didn't press charges or anything, and my insurance didn't go up.

Kind of unsettling, trying to merge onto an interstate with the driver's mirror gone though .

 

[SNTRL]

Doing last summer, my grandparents, cousin, and i were on our way to chicago to visit some relatives.
Right we were driving along the highway and i was on my way to sleep. All of a dudden i heard this noise and looked to my left and we saw this van coming up out of this ditch in the middle of the highway. As soon as it came out it start to flip.
Them my grandfarther quickly hit the breaks and the van crossed paths, about 3 feet in front of us. Instead of being fully terrified i was kind of excited. Cause i felt like i was on that show "RealTV".

But the sad thing was while the van was flipping the woman about in her late 40's was hanging out the window til it finally threw her out. we stopped ad pull her away from the burning van with help from others on the highway.

But the the deerty thing was she had alot!!! of money and ppl who where helping her, helped themselves. The car did'nt blow but we could have got hit from the back also stopping on breaks that quickly.

Holla!!

 

[Hoefler]

I was about 11. Going down the Batnkill river in Vermont. Got sucked into an eddy. Er. Yeh, my cousin saved me. Lol, that's it.

 

[Shadowfury333]

The closest I've had would be in grade 7 when I walked across a basketball court and got hit in the head hard. I fell to the ground but didn't feel any pain. I don't know if I was KOed, but I didn't feel the impact of the ball, or the impact with the ground. I doubt I was dead.

 

[metal_mario64]

I haven't been in any life threatening accidents in my entire life, but alot of ppl i know have.

Last Halloween, my freinds thought it would be cool to set up a fake shooting using a bunch of those cap guns that one of my freinds owned (you know, those ones that makes a noise exactly like a real shot but doesn't actually shoot anything) and some blood ccaplets (those things that release fake blood when you put them in your mouth).

What would happen is that my friends would walk down a busy street and start firing away at each other (remember these are fake) and then one of them would look like they got shot in the head and fall down.

They did this about four times. One time (which was the near death experience)
one of them tried to walk the empty street while they were doing there little "skit" when he pretended to get shot. He then realized that a car just turned the corner and was speeding (literaly speeding) right towards. He had enough sense to get up and jump barely out of the way. The car missed him by about an inch or two and sped off.
Another time, this guy thought t was real and he was about to phone the cops!

 

[HylianShazbot]

Shoot. Death and I aren't on speaking terms, 'cause I got his *** under control.

Alright, so I live in Florida, where all of America comes to die, and to drive like complete and total psychopaths. My friend and I are driving up SR 50 at like 60 mph, which of course is maddeningly illegal, but everyone knows cops are pigs. Anyway, so yeah, we're scanning the airwaves and 50's P.I.M.P. comes blasting over the mad-sweet speakers.

Homeboy listens for about ten seconds, and then announces with utter sincerity, "I cannot ****ing stand 50 Cent," before casually meandering into the left lane.

SR 50 is, for most of its length, a two-lane, two-way highway.

This big-*** Escalade with tires as tall as our Focus comes barreling over a hill in excess of 50 mph. What does my friend do? Keep driving.

Another time, we're going through a school zone, and there's one of those stupid, lying speed-tracking police things made to scare the living crap out of you. We're doing around 25, 'cause it's a school zone, and as we drive past the meter, it says "34." Naturally, this is a lie. But my friend, he is a simple man, so naturally he has to make sure he's seeing correctly. He keeps one hand on the wheel as we round a curve, and twists himself to look out of the back window as we pick up speed.

"What the ****?! I was doing 25!"

The oncoming car nearly turned on its side as it swerved.

This other time I went too far down into a spring without any gear, and nearly drowned. That was actually kinda sweet.

 

[XDaDePsak]

OMFG LOOK!!!11 THERE IS A LIGHTBULB TO THE LEFT OF THESE WORDS!!!!1

I am near death? Is that an experience.

 

[Matt]

Oh yeah, there was this other time.. I was with my friends in the car and Aaron was the driver. He sucks at driving so we're always like "Oh no, Aaron's driving!"

Anyway, he was swerving as usual so my friend Brandon said "Eyes on the road, *******!" and shot him in the back of the head with a bb gun. We didn't think it was loaded, but when Aaron started swearing and swerving even more, we started to get a little worried.

Brandon grabbed the wheel and swerved us out of the way of an oncoming car. Then we laughed as I unleashed a perfectly timed:

"HEAD SHOT!"

We referenced it for weeks, always at Aaron's expense. The end.

 

[XDaDePsak]

WHY MUST I DO THIS!!!!!11

Oh yeah, was with my friends in the van and Mikkel was the driver. He drives naked so we're always like "Oh no, Mikkel the Pickle is driving!"

Anyway, he was swerving as usual so my friend Banana said "Eyes on the road, *******!" and shot him in the back of the head with a bb gun. We didn't think it was loaded, but when Mikkel started swearing and splooching even more, we started to get a little worried/horney.

Banana grabbed the wheel and swerved us out of the way of an oncoming car. Then we laughed as I unleashed a perfectly timed fart

We referenced it for a couple hours afterwards, always at Mikkel's expense. The end.

 

[MagnuM]

I cut my finger and almost bled to death. That's the closest to death I've ever come.

No seriously, I've probably had a lot of close calls, but I'm too tired to remember, nor do I want to...

 

[XDaDePsak]

i dont know what i been told....****** pussay sure is cold!!! sound off, one two

your lame life sounds boring and lame.
i'm gonna go eat a taco and comtemplate your mortality

 

[Matt]

I may be dim, but I can spot a sexual reference when I see one!

"Taco"... ha. You don't fool me for one second, X. I'm on to you. In fact, I'm ALL OVER YOU.

All over you like sauce on a.. taco. Oooh.



...


Aw, snap, this isn't the joke topic! I have failed in life!!!

 

[XDaDePsak]

i am farting as i type this

 

[Rainy Day Toast]

Originally posted by XDaDePsak
i am farting as i type this

I want to hate you for being crude and dumb but I can't because, deep down, I know you're really ****ing awesome.

 

[XDaDePsak]

The Quicker, Thicker Picker-Upper.....VIAGRA!

Originally posted by Rainy Day Toast
deep down, I know you're really ****ing awesome.

stop...you're giving me an erection

 

[HylianShazbot]

Orgy!

Speaking of which, I nearly suffocated to death under some fat chick during one of those.

 

[Kid Icarus]

----------

 

[Zealot2120]

I once had a near death experience without even being near death.

My sister had watched this movie (it was years ago, forgot which one. Wild Wild west maybe?). She said it was terrible. I believed her. So when my cousin asked if i wanted to go see the movie with him and my grandma, i said no, cuz it was a bad movie. Well on the way back, my cousin sat in the front of the car with my grandmother.

It was my grandma's fault, but a truck hit them. They spun around and stuff. Well, the back of the car was COMPLETLY caved in. it was crushed. Anything in the back couldn't have survived. If i had said yes to the movie, my cousin and I would have been sitting in that back.

Maybe if I had gone, i would have had to tie my shoe, and somehow we would have not been hit by that truck, or maybe we would have. I just know im' here today.

 

[fragile_rose]

I had a near death expierence In the beginning of June. A student threatend to bomb my school so we had to stay in our class rooms for an hour and the police, firemen,the dogs came after about an hour we were evcuated outside for me I thought I was going to die and was so scared, I am glad nothing or no one got hurt.

 

[Osco316]

You actually believe those bomb threats? We've had two in my middle school throughout my three years there. One was announced and some kids got to stay home buy my mom didn't believe anything would happen. Some girl wrote a note in the bathroom, she also had a hit list. Nothing happened though. The next time was this year when they found some note about the school blowing up. We had to wait outside and then we were taken by bus to the nearby high school. Both were big wastes of time.

My only near death experience is almost drowning once because I fell off a tube on a water ride and I couldn't swim

 

[INFESTD]

Shazbort, what part of FL do you live in?

A fat chick wants to do me.

 

[HylianShazbot]

Man, I hold this ***** down in Orlando, where there's nothing but fatty hos. It's like beached whale season, but instead of a season, it's ALL YEAR.

I guess I've actually had lots of near death experiences, 'cause like every time I go outside, there's some new dead senior citizen rotting on my doorstep, mere inches from me. That's pretty f-ing near.

 

[Kyuubi]

My brothers old school had like a bomb threat every week. I would've gone there but we moved (After that we moved again, then again, then again...).

Also i was riding my bike down a road and there was a four way intersection. In this neighborhood no one drove around, the roads were always deserted, but today a truck was passing by and my brother, who was in the front nearly got hit. His bike got screwed enough to stop anyone from riding it again.

When i was young and foolish, i was about to drink something my grandma was using for gargling, but once again my bro went first. He went to the hospital.
Thats pretty messed up, are we noticing a pattern?

Well besides these....my heart does stop every other second...is that normal?

 

[Tyco]

That's NOT normal...

I've nearly drowned before when I was like 5 or 6. On time, we were visiting someone when my sister jumped on my back and I couldn't get up... my mom pulled us out... but she had been checking the house out before... if she stayed longer I'd most likely be dead.

 

[EvilScarletPippi]

Only a couple of weeks ago when school was still going, I had to go collect extra books for a teacher. I went into the close by History room, and the books were on a shelf beside an old projector screen stand (with screen). So of course I walk past it and then 3 seconds later 3 girls that were sitting next to the shelf started screaming, then there was a loud bang. The stand fell down not more than an inch away from my head, and that thing was really heavy. Therefore, if it had hit my head I would have died. The end