Androgyny/Cross-Dressing.

[Rubyiris]

Link to original post: [drupal=4975]Androgyny/Cross-Dressing.[/drupal]



Just need some suggestions regarding the following:

I'm 22, M, Pansexual. Grew up being extremely androgynous. Depending on how I wore my clothes/hair, I looked like a girl, or a boy. Was very fond of this, but from K-8 I was routinely beaten up, and picked on for my looks, and my sexuality. Wishing to become more transparant in society, I adapted a more masculine persona, and focused on becoming more masculine in appearance, and otherwise became a social recluse. Around age 17, lost my job, parents got their wages frozen. I couldn't afford to be in sports/play In the Groove competitively anymore, so I went from 5'4, 155, to 5'4, 240.

Starting September of last year, a friend of mine introduced me to the world of low-carb diets. I've been closely following Atkins, mostly due to ease, since it's the most well-known of low-carb diets. Lost 48lbs so far, and dropped from a 46 waist back down to a 36. Met an amazing transwoman, dated her for a few months, and it's given me the strength, and desire to return to what I personally believe to be my "true" self.

Right now, my problems are both social, and just a general lack of knowledge. My family is mostly comprised of christian conservatives, and they took it very badly when I came out to them as Pan, to the point that I never mentioned my Ex was trans. I'm very uncomfortable with expressing my desires in public, at least, whilst I'm still overweight. Ideally, I'd like to be able to transition smoothly between being boyish, and being a tasteful cross-dresser. Not because I want to imagine being a woman, but because cross-dressing, wearing make up, and otherwise just being beautiful makes me feel good. No gender confusion in this thread.

I want to know things, such as:

*How to appear more feminine, naturally.
*Ways to be louder, with a softer tone of voice. I can speak in a refined, neutral voice at low volumes, but I'm not sure how to project, or even yell. I want to avoid falsetto as much as possible.
*When would be a good time to start taking testosternone blockers? I'm 5'4, so should I start at 150lbs, or closer to 130?
*Should I take dietary supplements, or just stick with a ketogenic diet? I'm considering taking stimulants that melt fat cells, but would like opinions/to do more research.
*Feminine hairstyles for a male with a naturally round face.
*Techniques for thinning eyebrows
*Ways to bring more life, and vibrance to sunken-in eyes.
*Ways to slim my muscles. I'm naturally VERY muscuclar, despite not working out.
*How to properly apply make up.
*clothes to buy.

Lazily copy/pasted from my /ADV thread. Would like to see what SWF had to say. :3

 

[john!]

lol why are you asking us =/ i don't think there's many females on SWF, much less guys that want to look like females. you'd probably be better off asking people on a site dedicated to this kind of thing.

just my two cents. good luck

 

[Rubyiris]

You imply I haven't. Posted on /ADV, and /JP on 4ch. Posted on some other life style forums I frequent.

Just wanted to know what SWF had to say about it. Part of it is revealing to SWF more of myself as a means of becoming more comfortable with who I want to be.

 

[Vinylic.]

Hmmm.

I'm no expert at this but very few of them are something you should do by yourself.
Trying to be louder for example. You can practice that since it is quite easy.

As for some others,

You shouldn't take dietary supplements. Most of them won't work anyways.
Also, the only way to slim down the muscles is to stop lifting weights.

That's the best I can make out of it. Hope it helps, even tiny bit.

 

[Rubyiris]

I stopped lifting weights 4 months ago. I just wish there was a quicker way to slim my muscles.

There ARE some stimulant-based dietary supplements that do legitimately work. They increase metabolism, and melt fat cells/grease/oil.

 

[Spire]

Swim. Swim, swim, swim. Get a membership with a local pool and start doing laps as often as possible. You'll be trim in no time.

If you can bring yourself to run as well, then do so. It can be difficult to get yourself to start exercising publicly, but ultimately no one else cares or will judge you. The more you do it, the better you'll feel about yourself all over.

I consider myself a pansexual as well so I understand some of your sentiments.

Other than that, I would advise you start listening to the voices of the world. Go outside and really listen to the wind—it speaks. It carries energy, a breath of color and form transient in flow and volume. I've learned from it and I suggest you do the same.

edit:

 

[Rubyiris]

Unfortunately I live on a schools campus so there's pretty much zero privacy/etc. I've tried to just relax outside and listen to my surroundings but it's just not possible, currently.

 

[Ice Prince]

Let's see if I can provide anything productive here.

*How to appear more feminine, naturally.
This one is more to do with genetics than anything. Having feminine features is definitely a plus since it gives you something to work with. I would suggest growing your hair out, always stay shaved, etc. Make up is fine to use, just don't go overboard (as in where make up becomes cakey). I can get by on a little foundation/powder and some mascara. Eyeliner is always a good thing. I would suggest liquid eyeliner if you dabble in the make up though. It looks amazing when applied properly and usually doesn't present the issue of smearing or wearing down. I'm one of the few that is able to give a feminine look without make up at all, but make up is definitely something that helps bring the feminine look full circle.

*Ways to be louder, with a softer tone of voice. I can speak in a refined, neutral voice at low volumes, but I'm not sure how to project, or even yell. I want to avoid falsetto as much as possible.
This would just involve practice, as was mentioned in an earlier post.

*When would be a good time to start taking testosternone blockers? I'm 5'4, so should I start at 150lbs, or closer to 130?
I would get to your desired weight first, but in truth, I don't think it would matter. If you are planning on actually doing M2F, the sooner the better is what I've always heard.

*Should I take dietary supplements, or just stick with a ketogenic diet? I'm considering taking stimulants that melt fat cells, but would like opinions/to do more research.
I would stick to natural methods for weight loss, in my own personal opinion. If you actually end up transitioning, you're going to see your body distribute weight differently. Then again, I've never been a fan of stimulants for weight loss.

*Feminine hairstyles for a male with a naturally round face.
This would just require research. There are a truckload of hair style pics that I'm sure you can find and work with.

*Techniques for thinning eyebrows
Trim or wax. Both can be done at home if need be.

*Ways to bring more life, and vibrance to sunken-in eyes.
Under eye care products. My mom uses under eye care cream (something she got from Avon I think). Works really well. Make up wise, you are able to conceal it with a concealer made for under eyes. Should be easy enough to find in the make up isle of any department store.

*Ways to slim my muscles. I'm naturally VERY muscuclar, despite not working out.
Your muscles will slim as you lose weight. If you decided to do M2F transformation, your arms will become much less toned (unless you decide to work out and have focus on them).

*How to properly apply make up.
Videos and tutorials. There are a lot of different ways to apply make up--you just have to find a style you like to use. I would advise looking up more advanced techniques like shading and blending once you get the basics down (applying foundation/powder, eyeliner, lip liner, etc).

*clothes to buy.
Depends on your body type and they type of image you want to portray. I know when I intentionally cross dress, I prefer longer sleeves like turtlenecks or open shoulder items. There's plenty of variety, but those particular items I find suit me best. Color is also important. I've found I tend to prefer black, white, pink, and brown. Just experiment some with items and colors that you like and see what you think. =)

 

[Morin0]

Swim. Swim, swim, swim. Get a membership with a local pool and start doing laps as often as possible. You'll be trim in no time.

If you can bring yourself to run as well, then do so. It can be difficult to get yourself to start exercising publicly, but ultimately no one else cares or will judge you. The more you do it, the better you'll feel about yourself all over.

I consider myself a pansexual as well so I understand some of your sentiments.

Other than that, I would advise you start listening to the voices of the world. Go outside and really listen to the wind—it speaks. It carries energy, a breath of color and form transient in flow and volume. I've learned from it and I suggest you do the same.

edit:

Iirc, swimming is great but it also gives you broad shoulders.

EDIT: I totally thought this was Ice Prince's thread, haha.

 

[Rubyiris]

Thank you very much for the advice, ice prince. My goal is to be a wholesome crossdresser, because it makes me happy. I have no intentions of becoming trans.

I like acting flamboyant, and queer, and I like having a feminine appearance, but I still identify as a male, mostly. I just dislike being masculine, and I dislike being expected to act masculine. I prefer androgeny.

 

[TL?]

Get a Marth tiara

 

[Chronodiver Lokii]

Basically, what ice prince said.

What kind of style are you going for? As prince said, you have to take body type into account, plus which colors work best for you/you like best

That might just be the funnest part. Shopping for clothes is always a great time :o the current styles out right now are really cute in my honest opinion, so you should be able to find stuff you'd like ^__^

 

[Rubyiris]

I have no idea what I like so far. Even when it comes to male clothes, I've never picked out an outfit for myself in my life.

Another issue is my lack of funds, and I don't want to buy clothes until I'm closer to my ideal weight.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v73/shugo_the_hero/facebook_77856437jpg.jpg

 

[Fuujin]

Other than that, I would advise you start listening to the voices of the world. Go outside and really listen to the wind—it speaks. It carries energy, a breath of color and form transient in flow and volume. I've learned from it and I suggest you do the same.

 

[Vinylic.]

Haha, ice prince saves the day. I just knew that he would respond to this.

I would've said that you should talk to ice prince about it, but yet, that would be quite rude.

 

[Pachinkosam]

ohhh crap this is serious :j

 

[Divinokage]

ohhh crap this is serious :j

Why wouldn't it be? There are plenty of things we are oblivious to. It just takes some refinement to be able to see or feel the beauty of life.

 

[Ussi]

:| I've always wanted to try crossdressing (just for fun, cause i'm just curious enough to try that kind of stuff out) but my body is way to masculine. (too much body hair, a lot of facial hair, tall, low voice, etc)

That and the fact i'd probably be taken to therapy by my family if I attempted it.

 

[Rubyiris]

@Kage: that's what's up

@ussi: try it out in private. Don't worry about your image if you're not planning on being public, or making a life style about it.

 

[Ussi]

I blame growing up with 3 sisters, being passive, and very very slightly gender bender anime/manga (I ended up reading it to satisfy my own desire really so can't really blame that besides keeping me going xD)

I'll maybe try it when i live alone. I'll probably crossdress as an anime/touhou character then. But i'll look funny since i'm not gonna reduce my muscle mass.

 

[Rubyiris]

You can mask it by gaining weight to soften your features/muscle, and shave/wax your body if you're just interested in pleasing yourself.

 

[Ussi]

Well i'll think about when I actually can try it out.

 

[Rubyiris]

I understand. I'm still very limited by my living situation.

 

[Fuujin]

And to think people made fun of me for being a stripper :/

 

[Rubyiris]

<_< people seem to find any possible reason to make fun of others.

 

[Oasis_S]

Skirts always made me feel Stronger.

 

[Rubyiris]

One of the first bouts of public cross dressing I want to do I going to a smash tournament in a skirt/blouse/light make up.

Maybe just before I leave for new Jersey.

 

[Fuujin]

Be careful, the people in the smash scene can be jerks about some things.

 

[Supreme Dirt]

That actually sounds awesome, so long as the people in your region aren't *******es. Really hope it works out well.

Wish I could crossdress properly, but really muscular legs + broad shoulders + fairly masculine face ruins it for me. Also that whole weight thing.

Just wondering how you manage to stick to the whole low-carb diet. I've been trying to do it for a while now but there's always something that screws it over :/

 

[Divinokage]

You just do it, stop being frail with your impulses. If you REALLY want something then you'll really do everything to get it.

 

[Supreme Dirt]

Yeah... just goddamn, so much I can't eat.

 

[Oasis_S]

That actually sounds awesome, so long as the people in your region aren't *******es. Really hope it works out well./

Every region probably has an ******* or two. If one really wants to be OPEN, then they have to be open to ridicule too. Going to have to accept that people will see you as a weirdo, and just be cool with it.

Unless you're like Ice Prince and you can PASS under everyone's weirdometer.


Any lady friends? They're fun to shop with. I think they're usually pretty encouraging, but I wouldn't want to make my experiences out as a generality.

 

[Rubyiris]

The only lady friend I have in az is an mtf who has her own share of problems. I'll see about shopping with her at a later date, though.

For those interested, I'm highly considering trapping out for nyte.

As for low Carb, you really need the willpower to avoid cheating on the diet for maximum effect. Even though im supposed to eat around 2200 calories, I restrict myself to 1200/day, fast once or twice a week, and eat almost entirely eggs/tuna/ground beef/foundation vegetables.

Im also going to lower my protein intake to further slim my muscles.

Also, for those curious I've made the following changes:

Exfoliating my lips twice a day/liberal use of lip balm/honey once a night to increase fullness and softness of my lips

Shaving my entire body

Various diet changes

Changing my breathing, and tightening my vocal chords for a softer, more neutral voice.

Skin moisturizer to soften my skin. Still a long way to go.

 

[Vinylic.]

You will achieve, you will succeed.

And with succeeding, nothing can stand in your way on who you truly are.

Go for it.

 

[Ice Prince]

One of the first bouts of public cross dressing I want to do I going to a smash tournament in a skirt/blouse/light make up.

Maybe just before I leave for new Jersey.

That's always fun. I remember I went to a Tekken 5 arcade tourney a few years back decked out. You'd be amazed at the "good" attention you get when you pull off the look. However, the main backlash comes when it's revealed or it's plainly obvious you're cross dressing. The trick to cross dressing is to look convincing. You could have all the make up on in the world, and the sexiest outfit to boot. It doesn't mean anything if you don't look convincing.

But to be relevant, I'd probably cross dress at a Smash tourney if I was to ever go as well. If some guys had issues, they could have issues. I guarantee I'd be the bigger jerk once it was all said and done.

 

[Supreme Dirt]

Changing my breathing, and tightening my vocal chords for a softer, more neutral voice.

Whoa wait there's a way to change the tone of one's voice?

*googles*


Also trapping sounds fun.

I've never been too much a fan of slimming muscles though... It's always just seemed like something that'd be really unhealthy.

 

[Ice Prince]

Whoa wait there's a way to change the tone of one's voice?

*googles*


Also trapping sounds fun.

I've never been too much a fan of slimming muscles though... It's always just seemed like something that'd be really unhealthy.

Trapping is a thrill--but with it, obviously comes with rocky territory. You're going to meet guys who are chill about it, and you're going to meet guys who are douche bags about it. You've got to have confidence in yourself--that's the first and primary thing. Look at the positives about yourself. Like for me--I'm college educated, I'm a chill person who can get along with just about anybody, I have a nice job and I make good money. Always focus on your positives, because you're going to run into alot of catty people who just want to ridicule you for not being their idea of a gender stereotype.

Some guys simply look better with a fem look in all seriousness. I know for me, a "butch" or typical guy look just looks awkward on me. I was never comfortable with it.

 

[Rubyiris]

My immediate short term goal is to feel comfortable enough to trap by April 7th. Even if it's subtle like female shirt/jeans/light make up. I'm confident in my facial features currently, minus being on the chunky side currently. If I can lose 20-30 more lbs I'm very confident I can pull it off. I'm going to start focusing on perfecting applying make up over the next few months.

32% body fat, 155lbs lean muscle has me worried, though. I was built naturally muscular, so I wonder how long it will take for my body to start metabolizing muscle for fuel. :/

 

[Wiscus]

Man I am envious of androgynous people, anyhow the one thing that I have to add in terms of your voice (which is probably hard to do if you dont happen to know someone already in the field) if you know anyone with experience in singing you can ask them to teach you a thing or two or if you can find some way to get a lesson or two.
Singing is good for learning how to pitch your voice and use it without straining, breathing control and such, could be useful in learning to yell the way that you want to.

Good look in making your april deadline!

 

[Rubyiris]

May I ask what it is about them that you envy?